As so many of you know, my relationship with food was the most painful one
in my life, the earliest in my life. At least it seemed like that’s what really ailed me.
It’s the relationship that called me to know something was off with my perception
of life and the world, ultimately nothing really to do with the actual food.
Now, I’m grateful for that experience. It brought me to really understand the
concept of Surrender. I had to look at what I was believing, there was no way
out.
Some of my primary thoughts about living at that time in my twenties were:
this world is a dangerous place, people are dying right and left
- I can be rejected by anyone, any second of the day
- I could be hurt randomly, for no apparent reason
- I am not good enough, courageous enough, wise enough
- I should NEVER be angry, good people are always kind and “nice”
- If I’m thin, I’m powerful….if I’m fat, I’m needy
- If I don’t eat when I’m hungry, if I eat the perfect diet, I’m superior
- There are “good” foods and there are “bad” foods
- If I eat the bad foods, or if I am too needy, I should be ashamed
- What I want is WRONG TERRIBLE HIDEOUS
Jeez, no wonder I was ping-ponging between depression and rage.
Identifying the most painful thoughts is step #1 of the Work. This can be really
hard to do.
Looking at concepts about food, and really, about life, is what we do in the
food and eating class. The power of the group energy is wonderful!
The best, quickest, most powerful and lasting awareness I have consistently
experienced has been in groups. I was lucky enough to find a therapy group
when I was most depressed to start learning new ways to approach life,
to learn not to panic emotionally about things, not be so fearful or angry.
Now, the teleclasses are wonderful collections of people all wanting to
identify their most repetitive stressful beliefs that they live by, and bring them
to light through their own answers.
I love that everyone is their own best teacher. I also love how anyone can do this
work, anyone, even a child.