I am ready to continue to sit again with this mind, old thoughts, new group, and the dreams I’ve experienced that appear stressful.
Someone wrote and asked about cancer and seeing it with unconditional love.
One of my deepest inquiries, personally, has been whatever appears to show up as a matter of life or death.
What are the situations I see in my mind with cancer?
Sitting at the bedside of my father, a November where it’s been drizzling all day, and the darkness has now descended at 4:00pm in the afternoon in the Pacific Northwest. The time of death is near, after two years of many treatments. He will never get to see his grandchildren not yet born, or to retire.
My doctor looks serious when I return to her office about a large bump on my thigh that was biopsied two weeks earlier. “After I take the stitches out, we need to talk about this.” Adrenaline surges through my body.
One of my dearest friends since age 14. I’ve been visiting him weekly for many months. He doesn’t get out of bed anymore when I come. I see wide bumps on his back that look like they are full of liquid, as he moves to reach for a glass of water.
The father of my children and first husband lies in a very quiet low-lit room in the tall Swedish Hospital in the middle of our city. There’s a gorgeous view out the window of a warm summer sunset. Everyone who visited earlier has left. I didn’t know I’d be the only one in the hushed room. I feel choked up, and heart-broken, and awkward….but there, present.
This is horrible. Awful. Wrong. Terrible. Devastating. Something to be AGAINST. Death. Knowing death is coming. Body breaking down. They are going soon. Terrifying.
Is it true?
What?! What kind of question is that?
How could that NOT be true? Of course it’s terrible. Nobody likes dying, and especially of cancer.
I notice how sure the mind is that it’s right. I notice how it’s terrified of death, even when it’s inevitable for everyone.
Such certainty, all based on guesses.
Can you absolutely know this is true that this situation, dancing with cancer, is horrible, terrifying, wrong…for them, for me?
This is no small question. This is the greatest question in the world.
Can I know it’s true that death–and especially death by THIS thing called cancer–is the “worst” thing ever?
Can I know the pain is intolerable, wrong, devastating?
No.
I. Do. Not. Know.
When I experienced the cancerous tumor, it was cut off my leg and almost 50 stitches to sew the area back up. The pain I felt was a super sharp sting as they put in the lidocaine injections deep into my thigh. I was awake. There was no additional pain. I saw nothing but the surgeon wearing her mask and the assistants moving about, smoke rising from a cauterizer. I heard them talking.
With my loved ones, I was there with them, just being there. Except for my reaction to the image of them over there, looking like they were weak and hurting and almost dead (and my stories about death) the space was peaceful.
Actually, more than peaceful. It was sacred.
Holy.
Like I was present to the portal that opens between this world and another, perhaps.
Someone doing The Work with me once said with a choked throat and tears and despair “There might be nothing on the other side. It’s just over. It’s so sad.”
And I notice, I don’t know if it’s sad. If it’s over there would be no sadness. The sadness can only be in the mind, now.
How do you react when you believe this death approaching, this illness, is horrible?
How do you react when you’re against it?
Crushed.
Imagination run rampant with thoughts of how it would feel, of imagining pain, of comparing what is with what was or what should be.
Here, I’m aware this work of self-inquiry is not about moving speedy quick over these difficult feelings or the wildness and mystery of life and death.
It is not saying “never think about death” or pretending there is no feeling of falling.
There is no trying to get somewhere else really, at all, even though I must admit I came into The Work trying to get somewhere else, somewhere different that felt better.
But who would I be in the face of cancer and death, without my conditions? Who would I be without the belief it should be different…another way?
How did I get the idea?
I notice how much I love the world, love people, connections, life, wonder. Perhaps that’s where I got the idea.
I imagine this love, this awe of life and how strange, magnificent, weird and mysterious it all is….and I dream of it ending in the future, as other things have apparently ended, and I feel what I’m calling “sad”.
Without the thought of “horrible” though, I’m in the moment now, with these people and images, with this invisible thing called cancer, where bodies are changing.
I see how there’s a slow peaceful movement away from the symptoms into whatever death is.
Everything changing, shifting, moving.
Turning the thought around: MY THINKING is horrible. Awful. Wrong. Terrible. Devastating. Something to be AGAINST. Death. My thinking is coming. Mind breaking down. My thinking is going soon. My thinking is terrifying and terrified.
Could it be that except for my thinking, all is well?
Yes. I’m simply here, aware. Being here, winding up here without a plan–there was no plan.
Holding this person’s hand, sitting in the presence of What Is. Broken open. Broken open very wide.
Not too terrified to be here, witnessing. Of service, if I can be. Noticing I want to give time, attention, connection. Noticing I wouldn’t want to miss any of this.
Not too terrified to feel like falling to my knees and surrendering to All This and sobbing my heart out.
This is wonder-ful, bearable. Right. Happening. Affirming. Something to be in favor of. Life. Knowing death is coming is good. Body breaking down is OK, the way of it. We are all going soon. We get to make that mysterious journey. It is loving.
Could this be just as true, or truer?
I can find so many advantages.
What if all the “conditions” I’ve placed on loving and being loved, on accepting and being acceptable, on feeling happy and peaceful, on me being a “me” and you being a “you”…..
…..fell away and there was nothing more required, absolutely nothing, in order to experience and be love, or peace, or happiness itself?
Aren’t I most interested in No Conditions?
Isn’t my greatest choice, perhaps my only choice, the ending of all conditions for love, peace or happiness? Isn’t that what I’ve always wanted…to feel whole, joyful, free no matter what?
Isn’t that why I keep loving doing The Work?
Yes.
Without the thoughts about dying, disease and death….what is, is amazing.
Much love,
Grace
P.S. Retreat starts in 2 days. For those of you asking about attending morning sessions only during this retreat since you’re in Europe, or evenings only if you’re in Australia, yes you can (good to have experience in The Work). Please consider the contribution of about $60-$80 per session to support us in our work. Institute for The Work ITW candidates receive 24 in-person credits (12 with me, 12 with Tom Compton–unless you’ve already gotten credit with us before). Join us here.
Have you longed to understand the beliefs, perspective and ideas that lead to eating? Eating Peace Retreat allows the time to do just that. We meet January 15-20 in Seattle. Read about it here. I’d be honored to have you.
But here’s a hint: slowing everything down entirely can allow us to hear what we’re thinking, and relax instead of panic.
It’s not easy….but it may not be hard, either.
Some of us, when we’ve tried absolutely everything to solve a problem (like eating, but anything else as well) and we come to a point when there’s nothing left to do….
….it seems like we could collapse in despair.
Collapsing, stopping, slowing way down…..this may have its benefits far beyond anything you could discover outside yourself.
a whole year of practicing inquiry, learning to facilitate others, get a hand-up, starts now
Anything that’s ever been a huge accomplishment, a major transformation, a profound turnaround in most humans’ lives….has not come along in an instant.
Almost never.
Sure, for me there have been light-bulb awakening moments when I suddenly see something I didn’t before.
Yes, there have been deep life-altering conversations, or wisdom I bumped into from others, stories I heard, something inspirational I witnessed….
….but never some medicine that skyrocketed me out of myself into a whole new existence where what was previously difficult no longer existed in 1 second flat.
Never have I successfully wiped out all suffering around some issue in one fell swoop.
There has not been a finger-snap and VOILA….change.
No super pill, no wild immediate shift, no shocking moment- gasping enlightenment that eliminated all suffering or stress.
I once heard someone ask Byron Katie this question: “I want to be like you! I want to have a huge awakening and no longer have this depression and anxiety! What can I do?!”
Katie paused a moment and said: “you’ve been spared”.
What?
When our relationships are not working well, or falling apart, when we feel depressed and shut down, when we’re angry and tired, when we’re addicted and stuck….
….then sometimes all we want is someone to slap us and wake us up out of the nightmare or tell us what to do or think or just leave ourselves behind and become someone else instead.
But do we really want it that way?
The biggest changes I’ve ever experienced that have been permanent, unwavering, and solid have been made slowly but surely. And I’ve remained here, a part of it all.
One step at a time.
One day at a time.
There’s actually a kindness and wisdom to this way.
A flower unfolds one petal at a time, and it’s not abrupt.
Katie went on to speak about reality unfolding just right for each one of us, and that self-inquiry is a practice of meditation offering us the gift of awareness….right on time.
The Tao Te Ching #15 (translated by Katie’s husband Stephen Mitchell) says this:
The ancient Masters were profound and subtle.
Their wisdom was unfathomable.
There is no way to describe it;
all we can describe is their appearance.
They were careful as someone crossing an iced-over stream.
Alert as a warrior in enemy territory.
Courteous as a guest.
Fluid as melting ice.
Shapeable as a block of wood.
Receptive as a valley.
Clear as a glass of water.
Do you have the patience to wait til your mud settles and the water is clear?
Can you remain unmoving tll the right action arises by itself?
The Master doesn’t seek fulfillment.
Not seeking, not expecting, she is present, and can welcome all things.
To practice The Work regularly, steadily, is to naturally become careful, alert, courteous, fluid, shapeable, receptive, and clear. Waiting until right action arises by itself.
Which is why in Year of Inquiry we gather for an entire year….patiently (or not) working with our thinking, feeling and being human with what we’ve encountered.
Who knows what can happen as we ask and answer the four questions for an entire year, in the company of our small group of friends all going on this amazing adventure together?
Painful beliefs dissolve, our stories become lighter, our humor returns, our capacity to be our true selves becomes easier and easier. Relationships in our lives change, sometimes massively.
One moment at a time.
We look back and say “Wow”.
This brilliant journey started with the first time I asked “is it true?”
And now look.
If you’re wanting to address stress, worry, fear, a difficult relationship, some kind of change you feel nervous about, feeling like a failure, scarcity, compulsive behavior, an unexpected disappointment, the angst of a busy mind….
….then join us in a Year of Inquiry where you’ll do The Work of Byron Katie steadily, regularly, in a group online every week, with the same supportive people, and even in retreats (optional for those who can travel). This is our 8th group.
Three spaces left.
The Work does not promise instant transformation. It’s better than that. You’re at the top of the mountain because you climbed the mountain.
The journey IS the way.
Read about it here, and sign up soon so you don’t miss a thing. We’ll be underway and into it by the end of this month, and doors will close.
Let’s bring The Work on home in our lives as a regular practice. It’s where the rubber meets the road, and what we’re seeking becomes possible.
“Happiness is not a goal, it is a by-product.” ~ Eleanor Roosevelt
When someone first asked me to offer a retreat in The Work specifically for people to work on eating issues, food judgments, or upsetting thoughts about their bodies….
….I’ll be honest. I thought almost immediately “No Thanks.”
The world of compulsion, addiction, zombie trance eating that I had experienced for many years was so brutal. Especially the tricky, vicious voices related to emotional eating and hatred of fatness and a glorifying of thinness.
These were tough topics. They had been so filled with suffering for me. I wanted to leave them behind, and never look back.
I was also nervous that people might not find answers, or “get” how to apply self-inquiry to their eating or weight or compulsions.
I noticed out in the world, people got angry, perfectionistic, discouraged and very opinionated about food and ways of eating (raw, protein-heavy, meat-eaters, vegan, pure, anti-this, pro-that, anti-rules, pro-rules).
Or was it me who had experienced all that conflict in my own mind?
Hmmm. The world of eating, and my body image, was a battle field for sure–whether I was succeeding or failing.
As time passed and I worked with more and more people one-to-one, exploring the world of upside-down or troubled eating, I knew it would be of service to share in lightening the agony. I knew people could come together and investigate how to reach the natural state of peace we all were born with.
My first workshop was what some might call a….big flop.
In creating the curriculum, I thought I needed at least a weekend, including Friday night. I drew from retreats that had helped me. I felt confident in imagining the exercises and ways of bringing The Work and self-inquiry into all facets of the retreat. I had done many of these exercises with people in solo sessions. I felt excited.
Then, when it got time to put it on the calendar and announce it, only a few people expressed interest. And the person who had originally asked me to create a retreat was no longer living in the area, and not wanting to travel back to Seattle only for a weekend.
This was back when I was so new at offering facilitation and guidance, my confidence was the size of a peanut.
Three people signed up for the retreat.
One of them attended by skype from Colorado. We had a spot set up for her on a little table in my living room. Another drove a distance from Oregon, and a third kind gentleman came from fairly close by in Seattle.
As I mention in today’s video, the way I structured the schedule, everyone went off at meal breaks and got their choice of foods, with instructions to eat mindfully, notice their thoughts, write them down, and then return in 90 minutes.
Although everyone felt calmer around food and eating, no one reported feeling very different with food. One person even said they ate something they usually don’t eat, and they weren’t too sure this had been a good idea.
The exercises were powerful and interesting, the inquiry was thought-provoking and offered insights….but how could the people coming to a retreat on eating peace actually experience something different in their eating?
As I pondered this over time, I read about a man who had a vibrant zen meditation practice, who also had had many overeating or compulsive eating issues in his life, who loved bringing peace into his relationship with food.
*PING*!
It was like a little bell went off.
I myself hadn’t been willing to sit with people and share what it was like to mindfully and peacefully eat–to guide people in the experience itself.
If I wasn’t willing to expose myself in a meal for all the world to see, certainly they wouldn’t be willing either.
I knew what to do. I needed to have everyone who came to retreat eat together, in a different way. It needed to be a part of the practice, the process, the experience.
So that’s how a full immersion retreat was born. Instead of me going away to be all by myself eating whatever I wanted, dang-it, I’d eat whatever I wanted in plain sight.
No need to rebel, defend, or fight for whatever it was I was eating. No need to hold judgments about whether I did it right, or wrong.
I knew this, I had felt the peace of caring kindly for my own body, and now if I wanted to share it honestly with others, it was time to actually do that, for reals.
So the next retreat was different.
The planning was different, the feeling inside myself was different, the peanut-sized confidence didn’t really matter….I felt love and willingness to flop again, if that’s what happened….but also, I trusted the inspiration.
I wanted to join with others on the same journey, who had been suffering when it came to food.
I actually felt this weird sensation of knowing I was going to offer what I always wished was available for me, so long ago, when I felt crushing desperation about how to eat normally, and like I couldn’t find out how.
Now, this Eating Peace Retreat has become four days long. And honestly, it could become longer at some point.
But for now, we gather on a Thursday night (January 11th) for this upcoming annual retreat, we meet Friday, Saturday and Sunday from 9:00 am to 9:00 pm, and Monday morning (January 15th) we meet two more hours as a final session together.
I’m with you every step of the way. We eat, think, inquire, feel, explore, walk, and move together.
We identify our most painful thoughts about being in this world with food–what we’ve learned to fear or hate. You get to pick your own food, on purpose, and give yourself what you want and need.
We identify our most painful thoughts about moving, about energy and physicality or whatever’s called “exercise”–every difficult, furious or tormented thought about any of it, and take it through the inquiry process. We’ll do some moving together, without the mind running the show.
We identify our most painful thoughts about what other people think of us, what they see, what they’ve said, what we think it means about us. We identify our beliefs about hunger, fullness, and the foods we have the greatest trouble with.
All of these thoughts, we can question.
We tie in The Work of Byron Katie with all of these stressful, troubling ideas we’ve had in our minds. The Work is the most simple, beautiful, lazer-sharp way to dissolve our suffering about food, our weight, our eating.
This retreat is intentionally left small. I offer it once a year in Seattle (yes, I know I should offer it again during a little more light and a little less rain…stay tuned, this is coming).
Everyone who attends, I’ll be checking in with a month after the retreat to see how you’re doing and if your life with eating needs further support. Everyone at the retreat will leave with partners to do this work with over the phone or skype, so they can stay in touch with questioning their stressful thinking.
What I know now, is I can’t label the Eating Peace Retreat as a big flop anymore.
It’s been phenomenal.
I’m so moved, deeply touched, and in awe of what people learn about themselves through the process of being together and doing The Work on memories, beliefs and struggles they’ve never questioned before….about food, their bodies, their eating.
I am so, so amazed to find that the terrible, frightening, wild and chaotic eating I used to do actually brought me home to a bigger, brighter, more enlightened world….and that the same difficult experience brings me to serve others who want to find a way of eating peace, too.
I wanted to thank you for a wonderful retreat. It was life changing. The Work has been such an amazing tool in my life and to combine it with eating peace could not be more perfect. In my heart I feel it was the missing piece and exactly what I was hoping for when I signed up and more. I am so grateful and excited to practice eating peace in my daily life and continue to use The Work on my stressful thoughts around food and eating….Thank you, thank you, thank you for sharing your guidance, wisdom and teaching, it is such a great gift to share.
~ Participant January 2017
Eating Peace Retreat is only a month away. I’d be honored to have you, if it’s right. To register, visit here. Room for one more person in the retreat house (ask about how to reserve) and also room for one in a lovely airbnb run by friends close by is still available. Write with your questions.
And now….what if when you think about all this eating and being together, and eating mindfully in a group….it makes you want to run the other way. Fast!?
What if the REBEL comes out when you’re trying to eat peacefully? What if the very thought of slowing down, and sitting with people on an eating peace retreat….makes you want to jump out of your skin, or to strangle something?
It’s definitely how I used to feel (and still do sometimes). Watch the video today to see what happened for me around the Rebel, and how to be with it and let it be here, staying safe and clear at the same time.
Sit with others to question your stressful thoughts, enter Silence, feel the peace
Ahhhhh, I’ve been in retreat all weekend.
Beautiful people (some I’ve known for years, some brand new friends) have been in and out of little Goldilocks Cottage, where I live and work, for three days.
A dear friend, mentor, teacher, companion along the road of life has been staying with me (or I should say “us”) all weekend.
He’s been the “leader” of the retreat.
I’ve been the “host”.
Isn’t it funny how I’m writing quotations marks around all these roles being played?
But it is a wonderful thing to realize how the mind distinguishes people, who they are, why they’re there, and what they’re doing by defining their positions.
Really…..everyone who attended and gathered together was both teacher and student and host.
Everyone who came contributed, connected, felt the sweetness of being there. Some asked questions, some expressed their difficulties with silence or life, some shared their joys with silence or life.
Dialogues happened, conversations about death and love.
What I notice this morning, as life lives itself forward in this beautiful, strange and heart-breaking world….
….is that within this room where I sit, there is thought….
….and no thought.
That’s what we get to do as we feel the pain our thinking produces, and we turn toward Inquiry instead of assuming what we’re thinking is true.
We get to notice. Everything.
We get to notice more than thought!
Finding peace is not so very difficult.
Not anywhere near as difficult as the mind makes it.
The mind says “it is not here”.
Hard things happen by being a human being including loss, grief, death, disappointment, worry, loneliness, terror.
When I’ve focused on these experiences, without inquiry, they sit and repeat themselves like broken records.
When I wonder if what I’m believing is really true….
….the pain doesn’t necessarily vanish, but there is more here than only pain.
What could be possible without your story?
What story are you swimming in, if you feel sad, despair, anger, or disgust?
I love the four questions.
They are a meditation.
They have led me to sit silently, and contentedly, with people all weekend in my home, without feeling invasion, stress, a need to escape.
The questions have led me like breadcrumbs down a path of peace with life that was here all along.
I just couldn’t see it before.
If you don’t know what to do with your thoughts and it’s very difficult to sit still….
….start taking them through The Work.
No, you don’t have to analyze every single thought, or improve, fix, change or adjust your situation with the perfect solution.
You can be your own teacher and advisor and student and leader as you go back and forth asking and answering the questions.
Or even just the first one: “Is it true?”
“You’re believing someone and something to be you, and it’s not. The truth of your perception is silence. All that commentary, and yet, you are the silent witness. You have never been, not for one second, the mind’s perception. You have never been that your whole life.” ~ Ross Oldenstadt (in conversation with “me” a couple of years ago, followed by great laughter)
Much love,
Grace
if you have thoughts and ideas about LOVE and couple-ness and romance you find irritating, disturbing, sad or difficult….join the online Friday afternoon retreat to question your love stories. We’ll meet for three hours (you can come in and drop off any time) and it’s all audio. You can be anonymous or speak up. Click HERE to register ($37).
sweet to know: entering the cave of solitude leads to a joyful place
In yesterday’s Grace Note was a beautiful poem Dream Song written by John Berryman–I forgot to include his name.
It seems, as a writer myself, like a big omission! Jeez!
Yesterday felt scattered, chaotic, with a big list of what needed to get done according to the plans for business and work and personal basics like going to the gym and buying greens for dinner.
It’s funny the wide gap that can happen between what’s expected, and what actually happens.
By 7 pm yesterday, I had my presentation ready for Eating Peace, I had my curriculum done for Money: Loving This Story (it starts in January on Thursdays), my daily blog was finalized, and I had three hours of evening, an empty open gap of time, for doing whatever I pleased.
What to do?
Instead of actually relaxing, though….
….an old familiar feeling entered the scene.
The night was dark, blustery, cold. Things felt quiet and contained in the environment, like staying in was natural.
And yet, my mind kept thinking about December plans, the need to make copies, get items ready for this weekend’s meetup and first session of the 8 Month group, buy tea, arrange a ride for my daughter for Saturday, write the check for the school thing, call the airline reservations to make the change, take the computer to the old computer graveyard (remember?) and clean out my too-old summer clothes so I never have to look at them again.
But I don’t WANT to do any of those things.
I want to be entertained. I want to be excited. I want to connect. I want to. I want to. I want. I want. I want.
I chat messaged a friend “what movie should I watch?”
Husband was busy, daughter was busy.
The restless energy felt like a small flutter in the pancreas area, or behind my back.
Right then….another dear friend skyped me.
I talked with her for an hour or more. This is exceptionally rare.
Especially rare to have this happen fairly spontaneously. My schedule is usually mapped out and I’m quite organized or disciplined with what I’m doing and when.
At least it appears that’s what I am.
Who knows.
But who would you be, when you got that restless feeling of wanting, without starting to demand you need entertainment?
Without believing you “want”?
Without believing you need to go get something so you can become satisfied? (Like food, movie, friend, whatever you use to fill yourself).
I’d be still.
I’d feel very, very quiet.
I’d allow the mind to jump and fuss and screech around like a hoot owl, but something else would stay steady, relaxed.
Silent.
If loneliness appears….OK.
If wanting appears….OK.
But it doesn’t have to be believed, it doesn’t have to be followed.
I don’t have to “do” anything. I can quiet down, I can quiet.
The thinking is not important, the lonely restless feeling is not all that is here.
I wait a moment, just a short moment, and notice I’m back with myself.
The solitude and being here with yourself….maybe not as bad as you think.
Spiritual joys come only from solitude,
So the wise choose the bottom of the well,
For the darkness down there beats
The darkness up here.
He who follows at the heels of the world
Never saves his head.
~ Rumi
Much love, Grace
P.S. Drop in meetup Saturday 11/21 from 2-4 pm, 8 month group has room for one person Sundays (once a month) starting 11/22 from 3-6 pm. Both in Seattle, hit reply if interested.
The other day, as I listened to the people inquire on the Summer Camp call, I had the thought…..people are absolutely astonishing.
So awake, so full of wisdom.
People have taken a dive in for only the first week out of five, and not everyone can make it to every call of course….
….but the thoughts being investigated for their truth are quite deep and expansive.
Here are a few of what we’ve been delving into so far:
I am (insert my name here)
I can’t stop with only one (cookie, kiss, thought)
I don’t want to be alone
I need more money
I need to be secure
When looking at stressful thought, we noticed how deeply and quickly it follows a dramatic trail of suffering sometimes.
One second, I’m on the couch being me, no worries.
The next second, a thought enters and I feel fear.
Something about this isn’t safe.
A participant in Summer Camp shared how she feels afraid so much of the time.
This basic very stressful thought is so powerful to question: I am not safe.
The first thing to do if you feel overwhelmed with fear, is to make a list of the top five things.
You might say “I have no idea, I just feel fear and anxiety! I’m an anxious sort of person! It’s terrible!”
Thank you for sharing, mind.
And now, pick just one thing you’ve found personally frightening in your life.
A specific situation.
This helps you get so very close and connected to that memory, that occurrence in your life….no matter how old.
You weren’t safe in that situation?
Is it true?
I notice when I have this belief that I wasn’t safe, every time, I survived.
Which is why I’m writing this now. I’m still here.
So no, it is not true that I wasn’t safe. Ever.
How do I react when I believe it’s possible to be threatened….
….and I have the proof of that particular situation I remember, the one where I thought I wasn’t safe?
I get all freaked out in the moment when I’m remembering it. I might even wake up at night, thinking. Even though I’m lying in bed, and it’s super safe.
Even though nothing is actually happening now….except thinking.
So who would I be without the belief in danger?
Alive. Laughing. Jumping in the water. Asking for help. Sharing. Slowing down. Watching.
Doing The Work.
Who would you be without the thoughts that you are (insert name here) or you need more of anything, or you can’t stop with just one, or you don’t want to be alone?
What if you turned all these around?
I am not (insert my name here)
I can stop with only one (cookie, kiss, thought)
I do want to be alone
I do not need more money
I already am secure
Could these be just as true, or truer?
I am already amazed by the wisdom and beauty of these fellow inquirers in Summer Camp For The Mind.Everyone brings to me the reminder, the joy and excitement, of what is available right here, right now.Freedom. Security. Safety. Silence. Mystery. Infinity. Trust.
“You’re imagining yourself right out of existence. It’s not a small thing we’re doing here….And there’s nothing that’s not good news, if your mind is right.” ~ Byron Katie speaking in Being With Byron Katie
Much love,
Grace
P.S. Summer Camp is still four more weeks starting Wednesday at noon. Click the link to see the schedule, and join us for the un-doing adventure. In a good way.
The first time I ever meditated, it partially drove me crazy and partially thrilled me.
I had to set the alarm to meditate 15 minutes from start to finish, because before using the alarm, I would keep peeking at the clock to see how much time had gone by.
I took a meditation class about 25 years ago. I only showed up once.
And yet, I was quite interested. Someone gave me a book about meditation and its wonders.
I wasn’t sure what the fuss was all about….but I was still curious.
I would decide “I’m going to meditate every morning!” and strangely, never do it. Or do it for a few days, then never again.
It seemed like it would pop right out of my mind, or get stuffed under the rug because other things were more important…like getting kids to school.
I knew I needed support. Just to DO it!
So I registered again for another meditation class, and this time, I went every single week. We meditated for about 30 minutes every time in silence. I always closed my eyes and sat with my classmates in the circle, holding quite still.
I rarely meditated in between classes, but oh, that time in silence during class was peaceful, sometimes full of thinking, curious and frustrating all at once.
After the class was over, can you guess how often I meditated?
Yah, you got it.
Never.
A friend of mine at a party said she was going on a silent meditation retreat. We had our young children, playing in the grass around our feet.
I felt envious.
Dang…I still want to meditate!
I signed up for a different class, and then a retreat with the same teacher where we meditated a whole lot, for two-hour silent sessions several times a day for five days.
After that, for quite some time I meditated an hour a day by myself at home, every morning.
I didn’t question it, or get distracted, or decide it wasn’t important. I never missed my morning sitting.
It’s funny how something interesting and desired can be “hard” to practice if it’s new.
Like a new habit, one day it becomes vital to you. Instead of just thinking about doing it, you do it.
Then you get to see how it really works for YOU. You’re not doing it because you should, or other people think you should, or it’s the right thing to do.
You’re doing it because you love doing it, it fits who you are.
This same thing happened to me with doing The Work of Byron Katie.
At the beginning, after reading Loving What Is….I got up and walked away from my couch after five minutes of trying to answer the questions in a notebook.
There was laundry to do! I don’t have time for this!
Then I went to one evening lecture by Byron Katie in my home town. Then I signed up for a weekend workshop with Katie.
Even though I loved reading Loving What Is and doing The Work in those sessions with Katie, I never seemed to sit down and do it on my own at home.
I finally went to The School for The Work…there wasn’t anyone else offering classes in The Work that I knew of in my city, or practice sessions in The Work (this was almost ten years ago).
The School lasts 9 days, and you do The Work every single day, all day long, with various exercises to help identify your thoughts and investigate your stressful beliefs.
Finally, by doing The Work, I really got the power of The Work.
And guess what happened after I went to The School?
I’d find myself upset, sad, frightened and remember to do The Work…..but not always take the full amount of time out to complete it.
The only way I kept going with it, steadily, was to find partners who would facilitate me and I would facilitate them.
We made appointments.
I had one wonderful partner for two years, every single Monday, and we did The Work for nearly two hours every time we traded facilitations.
The Work, just like meditation (it is actually a form of meditation on the mind and what its doing) is not so easy to begin to do as a practice, if you’re busy living a full life like so many people are.
You may need to get the hang of it before it sticks.
You may need to schedule it in as a top priority, right into your calendar, so you make the time to do it.
That’s what Summer Camp for The Mind is for.
It’s an easy way to begin putting The Work into your schedule, for a fraction of the cost of a full course or individual sessions.
It’s a way to pick a time, just two days per month are necessary (but more are available for no extra charge if you want them).
You call in at the appointed time, for 90 minutes, and the group does The Work.
I’ll facilitate you. You don’t have to do it “right” or know anything fancy.
Experienced people and beginners will all be there, everyone is welcome.
You’ll pick a situation you’ve found uncomfortable, or terrifying, and write a Judge Your Neighbor worksheet on it (you’ll learn separately all about how to fill this out if you don’t know already) and then we’ll practice The Work.
Like meditation, all you need is willingness, an eagerness to understand yourself, and an open mind.
If I could do this, anyone can. You can too. You can question your mind and change your world.
June Summer Camp starts in two days.
You’ll join an online forum immediately (I’ll set you up in a googlegroup) and then live calls will begin on Monday.
You pick your favorite call-in group: (Monday 4 pm, Tuesday 8 am, or Thursday 9:30 am).
Each group is limited to 20 people maximum live participants. But you can listen to all the groups, all three days, at any time if you are enrolled in Summer Camp.
You only pay $97 for one whole month.
The savings to facilitated inquiry in this unique Summer Camp format is extensive. Normal classes are $395 for two months, and the equivalent fee for solo sessions would be far more.
If you’re ready to give The Work more time in your life in a light, easy way through the summer (like camp!) then Join Me.
Wow, Breitenbush Annual Retreat in The Work of Byron Katie is FULL….except for people who want to stay in a deluxe tent platform open-air space, or a dorm.
The pros? Incredibly inexpensive, you still get all those exquisite healthy meals, access to all the hotsprings natural pools, and of course, you’ll attend our deep sessions in The Work to Declare Peace.
The cons? You bring your sleeping bag and set yourself up like someone going on a spirit quest walkabout in the deep forest. With hotsprings nearby, and showers heated by the springs.
If that’s for you, call Breitenbush soon and join our awesome group taking the deep sea dive into the internal world of inquiry, questioning all your painful stories, and turning your mind inside out (in a good way) by contemplating what is really true for you.
That last spots will go very soon. If you have special questions about anything Breitenbush, call me (206-650-1230). I can’t answer every logistical thing because Breitenbush does all the registration and administrative stuff. But I can tell you of my experience.
Funny, but that’s all any of us can ever really do if we’ve visited somewhere and someone else asks to know what it was like.
Including the world of freedom from stress, sadness, anger or pain. The peace found beyond believing what you think.
Last year, before I went to Bali with my husband on our honeymoon, I read about Bali, I heard from people who had been to Bali, I saw pictures of Bali, I got recommendations of where to stay and what to see.
But nothing was the same as actually being there.
You can’t really get the feel of any place entirely, just by learning about it.
I could even see a film of Bali (which I did, when looking at a bike-ride adventure for a day with a touring company). I could read guidebooks (I got about ten from the library). I saw the personal photos from a good friend from his trip with his family.
Everything brought it closer: film, pictures, stories from others, words.
But NOTHING was like being there. From the moment of getting off the airplane, there were smells, sights, colors, temperature, sounds of all kinds.
It was like diving into the lake, when before, someone told me about what it was like to swim there.
Even if I had entered a 3-D hologram sort of scene of Bali (I heard recently that there are bird-tweets programmed into the speakers in the ground at Disneyland) it might have been fun, but not quite REAL.
You know what I’m talkin’ about!
Understanding your own mind, your own experience of being alive, how you react, and who you’d be without your stressful thoughts….you have to experience it for yourself.
Even if you can’t make it to Breitenbush in Oregon in the United States and you are across the world (maybe you’re in gorgeous Bali, I met some awesome Grace Notes readers there) you can support your own inner journey by making your environment ideal.
You can do The Work, you can see what you’re thinking, you can stop, question, and hold still and look around.
Then….FEEL your environment, feel who you are, feel all of you, beyond your thoughts and perceptions.
“This Work is meditation. It’s like diving into yourself.Contemplate the questions, drop down into the depths of yourself, listen, and wait. The answer will find your question. The mind will join the heart, no matter how closed down or hopeless you think you are…..You may begin to experience revelations about yourself and your world, revelations that will transform your whole life, forever.” ~ Byron Katie
This has been true for me. It has transformed my whole life.
This life of understanding the mind, thinking, thoughts, beliefs, un-believing, not knowing, mystery, enlightenment….
….what a stunning adventure.
We’re all on the same journey of freedom, we all love freedom soooo much!
And in the end, you don’t need to move your body anywhere to take this journey. It’s real, and real can be to be exactly where you are.
Well…maybe a fake bird call here and there (an untrue thought)…but you’ve got what it takes to know what’s real. Phew!
“I came to see that the world is always as it should be, whether I opposed it or not. And I came to embrace reality with all my heart. I love the world, without any conditions.” ~ Byron Katie
Much love, Grace
P.S. Summer Camp for The Mind coming June, July and August. Only $97 per month with live telecalls and a private membership site. Do The Work with others, only using your phone or computer. You really DON’T have to leave your home for summer camp!
