Month: June 2017

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My Big Kahuna Barrier to self-inquiry

One of my favorite things about The Work is that you are your own guru, teacher and educator. You answer the four questions known as The Work or self-inquiry (or Inquiry Based Stress Reduction IBSR if you want to get fancy). You find your own turnarounds.

You’re working intimately with your mind on situations that have actually happened in your life–and you’ve got your sometimes vivid, sometimes foggy, painful memories of that situation.

The thing is….when I first started out in The Work….I kind of had mixed feelings about the whole ME being the teacher thing.

What??! I’m the teacher? I’m the guru? DANG IT. That can’t be right. This? (pointing to self). Seriously? Are you talkin’ to me?

Byron Katie suggests: “Anything you want to ask a teacher, ask yourself. And wait for the answer in silence.”

But. (Let’s be honest).

That’s actually the problem here!

My ways don’t seem to work so well. I’ve done it wrong. I have huge flaws. It seems like something’s missing! There must be some mistake.

Can’t you see? I am NOT the teacher. I’m a dork!

(And I know the Voice in the head to some of us is pretty mean. It calls you names far worse than “dork”).

The thing is, this orientation towards ourselves can be so loud, so rude, so dismissive, and so fretful….

….you don’t feel like you can answer these questions about reality and the world and your life, with any kind of confidence or clarity. The despair has already set in. Maybe you worry that if you DID answer the questions, they’d be the WRONG answers.

At least, that’s how I felt about my own answers. Tentative. Nervous. Very lacking in trust.

I was totally convinced I was LOOKING for answers, not that I HAD answers already. Stop telling me I have answers! I don’t!

Here’s the good news: all these ideas about you missing something, about you not being the teacher? They are only more thoughts, upon thoughts, upon thoughts. And very worthy of inquiry.

The energy of attack you have towards yourself, you’ve also had about other people, or life encounters that were scary. It’s a fairly natural human reaction to loss, surprise, shock, or believing you lack love to Go To War with something. Anything. The self is usually the best target of all (it seems). We don’t really want to hurt other people. So we turn it on us.

I keep noticing, everyone is truly a real softie inside for the most part (OK, always). We really don’t want anyone to suffer. We wish we ourselves didn’t suffer.

So what do we do with The Work if we feel like we can’t answer the questions, or trust our answers, or we feel super confused, and we’re just so dang sure we can’t be the One, or the teacher?

Start with….naturally….The Work.

Is it true you can’t answer the four questions and get anywhere, or be your own teacher? Are you sure your answers aren’t the complete package, the full monty, the best way?

Hmmm.

Ummm.

It FEELS like there’s something missing here, but I can’t know it’s absolutely true.

How do you react when you think the thought that you can’t really be your own personal guru, or answer-giver?

I circle the globe looking for other teachers. Better teachers. Other people who know a lot more than me, or seem to. I get nervous about who I can or can’t trust. I’m full of longing. I think the answer is in Rishikesh. Not here. I listen to hours of talks on youtube.

Not that there’s anything wrong with that. Because there really isn’t. Amazing wisdom resides in this world. And some of it’s on the internet.

How do I react?

I DO NOT DO THE WORK. Not all by myself.

I keep saying “whatever’s here can’t be it”. I think it’s not enough. I’m not smart enough, good enough, wise enough, patient enough, slow enough, fit enough, relaxed enough.

But who would you be without your story that you aren’t the teacher you’ve been waiting for?

Gulp.

Wait.

You mean….

I’m not even sure who I’d be. OK though. I’ll try to answer.

Without the belief….I’d feel curious. Kind of weird. Unknown. I’d notice the space I’m in, the present moment. I’d notice the mind very busy with thought, and also a pulsing aliveness here. I’d find it funny that I have no answers, but feel like that’s also OK somehow. I’d notice I’m here.

Turning the thought around: I am my own teacher. I’m the One I’ve been waiting for.

How could this be just as true, or truer?

I’m the only one who has been here for every single moment of my life, in addition to some part of “reality” or “life” or “creation” which has also been here all of my life (call it God if you like).

I’m the only one who knows the in’s and out’s of the way I move through life.

I’m the one who remembers the situations the way I remember them, whether painful or joyful. They get locked in my mental files just THAT way, even if others were there to observe it differently.

Even when I’ve been the meanest to myself you can imagine, with really violent thinking, I haven’t eliminated myself. Something has stuck here even when thoughts were cray cray. I’m still here!

I’m the one who’s been drawn to all these amazing experiences and fascinating characters who are fellow travelers here on earth. All the wonderful teachers, the programs (like the school and other beautiful retreats and gatherings). I said Yes. Even without getting why.

Except for my thoughts, life is pretty astonishing, unusual, full of magnificent variety, and totally weird.

Holy Wow.

I am that.

Someone wrote a book with that title….and it could be entirely and completely just as true or truer that you are.

If you’re not so sure about doing The Work or if questioning your thoughts can bring freedom, and a joy you never expected….

….join me for a really powerful webinar coming soon where I go into depth about what it is that keeps self-inquiry from working.

When you register, you’ll get a list of ten barriers I’ve found that all point to the very same Big Kahuna barrier of Not Believing I’m The One I’ve Been Waiting For.

Perhaps all these ten barriers are just ways we remain ignorant, or entrenched in our idea that This Can’t Be It.

I find it’s been helpful to see all these little ways the mind will sabotage, sneak around, trick, or try to stay in a fearful place about life and What Is.

And although I’ve taught the webinar before, every single time I show up and share the slides, the barriers, the exercises, something changes and is new. It’s never the same, based on the questions that come and who attends.

Join me Friday, July 7th for a live webinar: Ten Barriers That Make The Work Difficult, Meh, or Unconvincing….And How To Deepen Your Self-Inquiry Instead.

I’ll also answer questions at the end about the upcoming Year of Inquiry, a small group immersion in The Work from September 2017 through June 2018 with Summer Camp for The Mind for July and August 2018 also….a full and entire year with a small group of devoted inquirers, all doing The Work together.

Everyone who completes the Full Year of Inquiry Program can receive credit for a 9 day School for The Work plus 80 additional credits in training towards Certification in The Work.

Many (maybe most) people join are not pursuing accreditation. Because it’s simply about being in The Work, remembering to question what you’re thinking that hurts.

This program is about YOU. You being your own teacher. Your Year of Inquiry, your school of yourself. You really are the guru or teacher of your own life, and sharing it with us all is a gift.

If you’d like to learn more, besides the Big Kahuna barrier of believing you are not enough and NOT your own teacher, then sign up for the upcoming 90 minute free webinar I on this topic of barriers that prevent us from questioning our thinking, and loving what is.

When you register, I’ll be including a summary handout of the ten barriers.

Sign up for the Webinar: Ten Barriers to Doing The Work right HERE. https://workwithgrace.lpages.co/webinarswithgrace/

We meet online Friday, July 7th Noon – 1:30 pm. At the end of the webinar, I’ll include information on Year of Inquiry plus Q & A, so bring your questions!

“You are the one you’ve been looking for.” ~ Byron Katie

 

 

 

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Eating Peace: Everywhere You Go The Relaxation Diet….Lie Down (Watch the Weight Come Off)

Last week I was traveling and facilitating a retreat (in Oregon at Breitenbush Hotsprings Conference Center).

Yesterday I was out in the city to dance and meet friends for a birthday dinner.

We all move about, in and out of our houses. Food is out there, at home, on tables, and often easily acquired–especially for those in first world countries like me. Super abundance of food options and eating is all around.

When you’ve had an internal war with eating, your body image, or food itself….it often doesn’t feel good to be out away from home, and your safe refrigerator and pantry.

But who would you be without the belief you need to worry, you have to control the environment or the food, you must be anxious about you and food in any situation?

It doesn’t mean you don’t take good care of yourself and move towards what you need or away from what hurts when it comes to food and eating.

This is about finding truly, deeply what you need.

For me, it was always relaxation. Trust. Peace. Resting with what is. It doesn’t mean I’m passive and never speaking up for what I prefer or desire, or not acknowledging I’m hungry, or full.

When I relax fully, I’m actually free to ask for anything.

Here’s one of my favorite meditations or ideas to carry with me wherever I go. It’s called “Lie Down”.

Do it for real, on the floor or couch, or do it on the inside.

And see what happens with your fearful dilemmas about eating, not eating, foods, ingredients, body, fat, thin, weight.

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Being With Byron Katie

Have you ever wanted to spend an official retreat in The Work with Byron Katie, the founder, herself?

Not everyone who learns of The Work are able to fly to another continent, sign up for the 9 Day School, or make all the arrangements and use resources to get themselves to an event with Katie, who has been teaching and sharing The Work for over 30 years and is now in her 70s.

Two years ago, for the first time, Katie offered a four day retreat live via streaming video. She’s in Switzerland, we’re located wherever we are with internet connection and a way to view a screen.

It’s pretty remarkable technology that allows such a thing these days.

And the fees are astronomically lower than attending a live event, getting yourself there with airplane tickets, trains or automobiles and paying for lodging and meals. Not to mention the tuition.

Signing up for watching something via the internet for hours on your own doesn’t always appeal to everyone. You still appear to need to take the time out to sit to watch, have quiet down time, and not be cluttered with your usual tasks like laundry or responding to your kids.

However, we’re making this really powerful and easy in Seattle, by collecting as a group to watch together.

It’s the next best thing to “live”.

People have been asking me a ton of questions about this upcoming streamed event with Byron Katie, and how to participate in Seattle, the fees, what the rooms are like if you need a place to sleep (we have them) and what to expect.

Here’s the low down:

Q: Do I have to attend all four days July 8-11th?

A: No. You can come to only one day to watch with us all, if that’s what works best with your schedule. You would have access then, until September 30th, to all the recordings….through a special log-in with our group account (no extra fee) to watch what you miss on your own time with your own computer. You would still submit the same flat fee ($185) as everyone else to participate for fewer sessions live with us, but have access to every recording just like everyone else. You won’t miss a thing.

Q: Why would I watch this with others, if I can watch it all on my own at home?

A: The power of gathering in the group for four days is quite astonishing for keeping silence, which is what the participants in Switzerland who are attending the retreat in person will be doing. Being supported by the energy of the group, and truly disconnecting from your daily routine and people you live with so you sink into the silence between every streamed session is a remarkable experience. When everyone is committed to the silence together, it’s a truly transformative energy. Plus, I don’t know about you, but do you actually keep silence when left to your own devices? This also means no social media scrolling or other technical distractions. Bring your journal. Be with you.

Q: Won’t I spend more money, if I come to Seattle to watch?

A: The fee for participation in our group event here in Seattle is $55 US less than you’d spend if you registered and paid for this event on your own. And, the fee you pay gives you access to all the recordings (on a sign-up schedule) through September 30th, 2017 which is the same length of time as if you registered for full access to the program on your own.

Q: What about lodging?

A: If you live far away and want to book a room in our private retreat house (the owner doesn’t live there) the rooms are set up as very modestly priced so those staying just chip in extra for sleeping over, far lower than typical Seattle housing rates on gorgeous Capital Hill (our location). The master bedroom with king bed is $80 per night, a queen room upstairs on the main level is $65 per night, and two large queen rooms downstairs (sharing a bathroom) are $55 per night. Share them, or ask me if you need to pay less in order to be able to participate easily. The peace and quiet of remaining onsite creates an incredible opportunity for you to truly relax into silence, uninterrupted, with others holding the very same energy. You’ll make meals and move about your time there, all in silence. There’s plenty of space for cooking, filling the fridge with your food, and venturing off to find good meals or walks in the parks nearby.

Q: What does my fee support?

A: The fee is based on planning for 12 participants, with each of the four rooms also reserved separately, to “break even” for all expenses including the registration as a group to view the event, the entire house rental in this highly popular neighborhood, plus supplies and promotional expenses.

Q: How many people are already coming?

A: We’ve got seven people, and two staying onsite so far. Anyone wanting the master bedroom is in luck as it’s still open (with it’s own private bathroom). It’s easiest and most relaxed if you take a room all 5 nights, checking in on Friday, July 7th any time after 4 pm, and checking out Wednesday, July 12th by noon. We’ll start early Saturday morning July 8th and end late-ish on Tuesday, July 11th.

Q: What is the exact schedule?

A: We gather at 9:00 am on Saturday, July 8th. Grace Bell (that’s me) will offer an Orientation to keeping silence, share what she knows about the neighborhood (which is fabulous and teaming with beauty of old Seattle near Roanoke Park, my stomping grounds growing up). I’ll also cover how to do your own work during the program and answer your questions before we begin. Everyone will get the chance to speak of their needs to others in our group before we begin.

  • Saturday July 8th after our own Orientation at 9:00 am, we’ll then view the opening Welcome in Switzerland with the staff there from 10:00-11:30 am, our first full session with Katie from 1:00-4:00 pm, and the second session with Katie from 6:30-9:30 pm.
  • Sunday July 9th Morning Silent Walk 9:00 am (optional), Session One 10:00 am-1:00 pm, Session Two 4:00-7:00 pm
  • Monday July 10th Session One 10:00 am-1:00 pm, Afternoon Silent Walk (optional) 3:00 pm, Session Two 4:00-7:00 pm
  • Tuesday July 11th Session One 9:00 am-Noon, Session Two 2:30-5:30 pm, Closing Session 7:00-9:30 We will view the closing session in Switzerland (ending approx 8:30 pm) then end our own silent session with a powerful brief closing sharing circle with everyone.
(All exact times are subject to change slightly based on adjustments from Switzerland schedule shifts).

Q: If I’m not staying overnight, what’s open to me in the retreat house?

A: The whole place, except for the private bedrooms, is for us all. This is a vacation house rented to visitors to Seattle, and highly popular (it’s rented for the entire summer every single day, and we’re lucky to have it). Professional cleaning staff care for it between every customer. You’ll have access to storing anything you want to bring for your comfort including food, cooking your meals in the lovely kitchen, comfy clothing. You can take a midday shower in the upper or downstairs bathrooms even if you’re not remaining onsite for the nights.

Q: What will the viewing area be like?

A: The reason I selected this house first and foremost is because the living room is equipped with a huge big-screen TV set up high above the fireplace. Excellent and comfortable chairs will be available for everyone, and a very large couch. We’ll have it set up for us all theater style and people can easily come and go, listen, and be in the room with great sound and excellent viewing.

Q: What if I have simple questions and logistics, or questions about The Work, I’m moved by the content of the retreat, or stirred up by what I hear? How can I communicate?

A: Anyone can pass me a note in the silence and I will be available during any break to meet with you and support you in your work and your questions if you’d like to talk. Everyone will receive handouts at the retreat and there will be plenty of worksheets supplied for anyone to use (Judge Your Neighbor worksheets and One Belief At A Time worksheets). You can also email or text me at absolutely any time during the course of the retreat, and I’ll respond.

A white board will be prominently located with pens for people to write messages, post questions, and share answers. While the orientation of the retreat is to remain in silence, sometimes there are needs to communicate and I’m very happy to receive your written words and be there in service to you.

Our group in Seattle is also invited to send emails to the retreat staff in Switzerland, share photos and questions, and Katie may respond to your message. Our photos may be shared with everyone viewing the retreat. If you’re good at taking pics or short videos….let me know!

Q: What is available to do during the breaks, and where do I get meals? Should I keep the silence if I’m interacting with people out in the world?

A: This is entirely up to you, and, I encourage you to adopt the commitment, as the participants in Switzerland, which is to maintain complete silence the entire time. Everyone will have name tags on which you can write “IN SILENCE” to wear out into the world. There is an incredible array of city restaurants, grocery stores, like Trader Jo’s, a local beautiful little grocery store within walking distance, and tons of places you can get a lovely meal to-go, or an elegant meal, and sit and watch the world in silence. You can bring a note for the person waiting your table, to let them know you’re in silence to communicate your order. You can also bring all your own food supplies and cook in our kitchen in silence.

And, it’s perfectly OK to break silence when you leave the retreat house. There is no wrong way to do this. It’s an experiment in being with yourself, without words, in the hustle and bustle of life….and to relax in the beauty of inquiry.

Q: Can I earn credit if I’m in the Institute for The Work?

A: Yes! You can earn 24 credits for hours directly with Byron Katie as if you were spending time with her in person. There will be a small fee for your credit registration (still paying less than if you signed up independently for the whole thing). You can earn 12 credits with me if you need those kinds of credits inside ITW for no additional fee.

What an amazing way to be in The Work, to participate in this most restful way, requiring nothing, and to allow the process of the live retreat to unfold for us as it’s unfolding in Switzerland.

I hope you’ll join me. (Five more spots open for participation, and three rooms still available for over-nighters).

Sign up HERE.

If you want lodging, please let me know right away by hitting reply to this email. You’ll submit payment for your room separately.

We hope everything is provided for you to support your peace. That’s true about this event, and true about all of life. Come connect and find your answers.

“Anything you want to ask a teacher, ask yourself. And wait for the answer in silence.” ~ Byron Katie

Much love,

Grace

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It shouldn’t have happened. Seriously. I was soooo overheated.

As always, being at Breitenbush annually in the height of the bright summer days is not only the sweetest fresh air, gorgeous giant pines, flowers, babbling river, cozy cabins, and a true complete break from regular daily life….

….but also a time of such joy and gratitude as I sit with people who have never done The Work, along with quite a few who have, and hear the insights pop throughout the room.

The more time in the work, as we spend our hours together, the deeper the insights seem to move.

It occurred to me once again, that one profoundly painful ghostly underlying belief appears in almost everyone’s Judge Your Neighbor worksheet, including my own…even if we haven’t written it down.

This one belief appears in every objection we’ve ever had. Whether we almost died in a car accident, a true love left us, or someone was rude.

It shouldn’t have happened that way.

When anyone writes a JYN, we’re remembering a painful moment in the past, or imagining being in a painful moment in the future.

I’m hurting. I’m scared. I’m sad. I’m worried about the way it went, and worried it will happen again.

Actions, ideas, ways to solve the problem spring out of this deeply painful thought that I believe it shouldn’t have happened….

….whether the thought is about death, sickness or shock….

….or the annoying long-term partner who won’t stop that irritating behavior….

….it simply would be better if it hadn’t happened.

Let’s do The Work together today: Find an incident you believe shouldn’t have happened. Just one. That’s the simplicity of The Work. You don’t have to question everything you’ve ever thought shouldn’t have happened.

Just that first one that came to mind just now.

Picture that person, being like that. Or that event you’d rather not think about too often.

I picture immediately someone I knew. The way she swore really scared me. She seemed so mean, I wanted to hide under the bed because of her critical and bossy manner.

So is it true it shouldn’t have happened? Is it true she shouldn’t have acted like that, used those words, been so cruel and angry?

Yes!

It was so frightening! I can’t handle it! (Wave arms around, tell the whole story, express how awful it was–at least this was my first answer to the question “is it true?”)

Now, I’m not suggesting it’s not incredibly powerful to share what you experienced, in order to understand it or receive help and support in exploring what happened. Many people have benefitted profoundly through a therapeutic meeting one-to-one where one important facet of the meeting is to tell the story of what happened clearly, openly.

It can be especially meaningful if the person telling the story has never shared it before. Secrets don’t fester and grow when they are shared. Secrets can be revealed, and come out of the darkness when they are spoken.

But to take it to the next step….to look with open eyes, with questions, finding your own answers….this is The Work.

So is it absolutely, 100% true for all time, with no shadow of a doubt that the person in question, the incident that went down, shouldn’t have happened?

Hmmm.

I can’t know it for sure. Not in the situation I’m remembering. And do I actually have all the data? Could that even be possible? Do I know what the final outcome will be, or what it created or offered me that it went that way? Could I know that I wouldn’t mess up some weird piece of the puzzle if I took out that incident or that person entirely from my life? And can I simply notice, it was painful, and now it’s over?

I can’t know it shouldn’t have happened. It doesn’t mean I have to like that it did.

How do I react when I believe something shouldn’t have happened?

I crunch up inside against the memory. I try to think about other things. I say positive affirmations. I chant and work on myself to “get over” that person. I get super grumpy. I say “screw them!” even though I haven’t seen them in ten years (LOL). I blame that person for ruining my life, or trying to.

Sunday, on my way home from Breitenbush, it was 98 degrees Fahrenheit outside. Very unusually hot. I have no air conditioner in my car, and it never occurs to me to need it because I live in a cool climate (once a year, it wafts through my mind and then I forget about it all over again).

I was melting.

I drove by a large car sales lot about four hours from my home, and the thought entered my mind I could get off the freeway and buy a car with air conditioning RIGHT NOW. My mind was so speedy quick, I already had pictures of that plan not working because I would need to leave my car there, unload all the luggage, including boxes of retreat-facilitating materials, and put everything in my new car, and then I’d have to come back and get the old one and drive four whole hours AGAIN just to retrieve it. A whole future image, all thought up, in about 2 seconds. Bam.

Mind dishing up solutions to the problem, speedy quick. Brilliant, busy mind. When it thinks something is true, it will really try to go for EVERY possible solution.

Trouble is, it hurts if a) none of the solutions really solve the problem and b) you can only be happy if the problem is solved.

Even if a solution CAN solve the problem, you aren’t happy until you execute the solution. Which leaves “unhappy” time as required while you wait.

But who would you be without the thought “this shouldn’t be happening” or “it shouldn’t ever have happened”?

Who would you be without the belief she shouldn’t have been that way? He shouldn’t have said that? It shouldn’t have occurred? It shouldn’t be this freakin’ hot?

Sometimes, where there’s a particularly painful event, or personality you’ve had to deal with….

….you just stare at it blankly for a minute, when you consider that fourth question.

Let yourself take it slowly.

What would it be like, without that thought?

I notice first, I’m coming back into this present moment. I’m here now, listening to trucks and men’s happy shouting voices outside since a neighbor is building a new house. Noticing the overcast sky, and the cool breeze of today. Not overheated in the body.

Noticing the mind was OK all along, whether the car was a baking sauna yesterday, or not.

Without the belief it shouldn’t have happened, I feel more relaxed somehow. Not so tight and restricted and focused on solving that problem. Not obsessed with What Was.

Without the belief, I don’t feel condemning, of either that other person or of myself. I’m more in a Don’t Know place. Feeling the quiet of this moment, here, now.

Without the belief “it shouldn’t have happened” I notice the sadness of things like that happening sometimes in this world without the heaviness, with compassion for us all.

Turning this underlying belief around: it should have happened. 

This is not about finding examples of how it should have happened because you deserved it, or someone else did, with all the pain and agony that involves. This is about seeing how it should have happened, because it did.

And did anything at all come of it, that you found helpful….even the tiniest thing?

That hot melting physically uncomfortable ride should have happened, because it made me think again about finding an electric air-conditioned car, that suits my support of lowering the environmental impact of my driving. It made me take it so seriously, I believe I may be researching this soon.

That person should have acted that way, because it showed me how not to act. It showed me who to move away from and how to say “no” in a clear way. It showed me what I’ve been afraid of, that may not be so scary after all (she’s just a human being, with a lot of fearful thoughts actually). It showed me where I assumed I was unworthy, and invited me to question this form of suffering instead of believing it.

That should have happened, because I am a human being living in the same conditions of temporary life on planet earth as any other human being. It should have happened because it affected my life so deeply, it’s a part of my spiritual path and growth to make peace with it. Otherwise, I’d probably be watching TV.

How amazing to discover reasons that are honest, genuine reasons I actually believe for why it should have happened.

Can you find them, for your situation?

“Any time you argue with what was, what is, or what will be, you limit your ability to experience the vastness of who you are. There’s no way around it. It doesn’t matter what happened, or how cruel someone was, or how unfair something was. It may have been all of those things, and the pain may be very deep and real, but when we have a mental resistance, when we say something should or should not have happened, we’re arguing with what did happen or what is happening. When we argue with life, we lose every single time–and suffering wins.” ~ Adyashanti from Falling Into Grace

I see the present moment as sometimes including my thoughts about a past moment I objected to. If I say “yes” to that moment, including the thoughts of the past….it’s called The Work.

Loving what is….including my belief “it shouldn’t have happened”.

What a sweet belief, that resisted What Is, that the mind thought would help me survive, and not feel pain.

Turning the thought around again: My thinking shouldn’t have happened…instead of the event, person, condition, or incident.

Yes, that thinking was very fretful, full of boiling anxiety, resentment, rage, despair. So focused on how “it” shouldn’t have happened.

The thing, person, event, incident, situation actually ended, or moved forward, or morphed and changed, or grew into something different. It’s over. My thinking is the thing that continued and ruminated or obsessed or re-considered it over and over again.

And, I love how my thinking also moves me into noticing how the way I see it is not true, how it can answer the simple questions, how it can ponder and relax….and end the repetitive suffering.

I love how my thinking can journey into new answers, new possibilities, variety, gathering ideas, joy in the midst of sorrow, humor.

All as a result of the little question “can you absolutely know it’s true that it shouldn’t have happened?”

Turns out, it happened, but I don’t have to suffer over it.

This is true for cars without air conditioning in very hot weather, or your dear friend getting cancer, or parents being abusive, or your partner leaving you, or the kitchen drawer getting stuck every time you try to open it.

Who are you right now, without your story?

Accepting what is. Broken drawer, partner not in the room, mean parents, very ill friend, hot.

Noticing what happens next, with complete acceptance of what is.

Much love,

Grace

P.S. Two events happening soon, that support your inquiry:

1) Being With Byron Katie Joining in live event happening in Switzerland via streaming video all the way to Seattle. Four bedrooms for those who want to sleep overnight. We’ll participate right alongside the folks who are in Switzerland with Katie.

2) Sliding Scale pay what you can. Summer Camp For The Mind begins July 5 – August 18.

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Eating Peace: Mirror Mirror On The Wall

Ugh.

Look at that cellulite and shaking, saggy skin on the legs.

It looks terrible!

Thoughts like this are so common, they’re like rain squalls, and everyone’s got them in some form or another.

Self-criticism, the perspective that something’s ugly or unacceptable.

But as you look in the mirror, have you ever remembered or wondered about the mirror itself….

….rather than focusing entirely on what’s reflecting inside the mirror?

Today I do a little show-and-tell with my mirror my parents gave me after I went through treatment for my eating disorder and met many professionals who were trying to help.

I wasn’t completely over my obsessive thinking, I wasn’t over self-criticism, I wasn’t entirely over believing that what I saw in the mirror was something to be concerned with….

….but it slowly dissolved over time. And it began to diminish very quickly, the more I applied The Work of Byron Katie to my stressful thinking.

Take a look and see what I want t show you about mirrors.

Who would you be without believing what you see?

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I’ve Been Left

He left me.

She left me.

They left me.

The suffering as a result of this belief is enormous.

People holding this thought in their experience of a relationship feel devastated, sometimes suicidal….and then on top of the dark feelings of abandonment, they criticize themselves for being losers and caring so much.

But let’s take a look at this thought, that can seem like a fact to some who think of it as true-true-true, and question it with The Work.

That person left you…Is it true?

Yes! They packed up their stuff and walked out the door. I don’t see them in this house anymore. Gone. It’s been 7 hours and 13 days since you took your love away.

Or fifteen years.

After we think “is is true?” instead of pausing with our answer, we might have images of that person blossoming before us, wondering about them, replaying the scenes that were so torturous in the past. We might explain to a listener all about the entire story of what happened. We might see them driving away on their motorcycle while running down the street behind them, and they never looked back.

People share with me the details of what’s happening in the lives of their “ex” partners. Marrying again. Non-communicative. Or maybe occasionally pinging them on facebook with an update.

But first, can I just answer that question…is it true they left?

Yes. Didn’t I just say how many days and hours it’s been?

Can you absolutely know it’s true they left?

Because I couldn’t know it was absolutely for-all-time true.

They were in my head daily, sometimes hourly. Every time I went past that one coffee house, I thought of them. Every time I heard that song, I felt melancholy.

There was a physical leaving, but not in any way was there an emotional or mental “leaving”. And I would also imagine getting back together in the future, which was always possible, right? I couldn’t know it was absolutely fundamentally true that this person left me forever.

Plus, and this is critically important to note, they didn’t die, they didn’t vanish off the face of the earth, and there were so many conversations and connections and bumps and difficulties between us, can you really know for absolute certain that person left YOU, like it was all about YOU?

No. I personally can’t at all. They had their own stuff going on that made a move important in their life. But if you answer “yes, it’s absolutely true” that’s perfectly OK and not the wrong answer.

How do you react when you think the thought “that person left me”?

Gut-wrenching sadness, or furious rage. They were wrong, wrong, wrong. I treated my daily life like a burden to “get through” and the new people I met like people to be suspicious of. I didn’t go out much.

So who would you be without your belief that you were left? Like, it was personal?

This is not airy fairy sweet gooey positive thinking fake sugar.

This is real use of the creative brilliance of mind and it’s imagination. The mind forgot the other side in this duality of every coin having an opposite. It focused on fear, lack, hurt, pain, and zero possibilities of a happy future.

Thank you mind for trying to keep me safe and sound, and unhurt. But you’re a bit limited, my friend, you say to your mind.

Because without the belief someone left me….I’m suddenly looking around my environment, my day, my quiet house….and noticing the peace of silence.

I’m aware of all the moments when I was supposedly “married” that I spent going to work alone, driving my own personal car all by myself, at the grocery store by myself, talking to a friend on the phone, sweeping the floor in my living room with children playing around me, thinking in my own head.

Did someone “leave” me at all those moments?

Yes, there was no body in the room sometimes. And it wouldn’t have occurred to me to be upset if my husband went to the garage to work on a project. In fact, I’d be a bit of a nut case if I started thinking “he’s leaving me” every time he called out “goodbye!” as he went to work in the morning.

Yikes.

All that meaning we place on relationships and what he or she is supposed to be doing that equals “I am loved” and all the meaning placed on a relationship that means “I am secure” or “I am NOT secure.”

When there are never any guarantees, ever. Someone could die, so could you (everyone will).

Leaving is the way of it, in fact.

Coming together, leaving, coming together, leaving. Nothing written on a piece of paper says anything firm and final about this leaving or staying. Marriage. Divorce. Break-ups. Falling in Love. Commitment. Separation.

Without the belief I am left, I simply notice the tide goes in and out. And I don’t get very upset about it.

Without the belief that I was left, I begin to see benefits for it going the way it’s going.

Let’s go there. The ultimate turnaround. Life dishing up something FOR me, not something happening that hurts me.

How could this be just as true, or truer?

For me, I noticed how much I loved the quiet. I could read anything I wanted all day long on the weekend. It was like a miracle to have nothing on my schedule. I meditated for hours. I walked through my neighborhood with Deva Premal playing over and over on my headphones. I noticed houses I had never seen before. I found little trails I hadn’t noticed. I came across a wild plum tree in nobody’s yard underneath the power lines, loaded with plums, and came back the next day with a bag.

I thought about relationships during that “I-was-left” time. I noticed how many exceptionally crazy beliefs I had about them that were considered normal in society. Here’s what “this” means. Here’s what “that” means.

I saw I couldn’t know.

I started hanging out with friends I had known since high school, but hadn’t really seen or spent time with in fifteen years. I signed up for a Qigong class. I started being curious about things I hadn’t pursued. I explored dance classes, and found one I loved.

Turning the thought around every way:

  • I left him
  • I left myself
  • He did not leave me

Can you find examples of how these are true? Spend time on each one, finding three examples for every turnaround.

I left him internally during our life together a thousand trillion times when I looked over at him and thought critically he wasn’t good enough, he didn’t do the lawn mowing right, he bought the wrong thing at the store, he wasn’t giving me enough affection, he worried too much about money.

I left myself by thinking I wasn’t a good companion, like I needed someone else around to make me happy. I didn’t appreciate my own mind, my thoughts, my desires. I suppressed myself. I didn’t share the truth. I felt inadequate. I ripped myself to shreds internally. I didn’t feel worthy of love. When we first met, I still obsessed about food a lot. I pushed myself really hard. I felt bad about my own abilities with money, before he ever joined in on the money show. I had images come to mind about my difficult, lonely future. I feared myself worthy of being left.

He didn’t leave me. Nope. In the mind constantly. Wondering what he was up to. Worrying about myself in the future, all alone. Feeling unforgiving. Like this his actions and behaviors are all about me, when they really have nothing to do with me. I got some of the photos, the kitchen ware, the couch, his old car, a new little gorgeous cottage just for me to live in. I receive texts, messages about the kids, emails, and we spend holidays together.

Ha Ha.

The advantages to this being “left” thing continue to enter my life, even after many years. There are far more advantages than disadvantages.

And even all of these supposed advantages and disadvantages…

….who knows if they are even true.

The most important thing is, the pair of glasses I am wearing about the whole thing is that it was one of the most powerful, life-changing, incredible experiences and wake-up calls of my life. Almost on equal footing to attending Byron Katie’s School for The Work.

I mean it.

I orbited into an entirely different paradigm. It wasn’t instant. My mind hung on very tight. I wanted to punish. I rotated back into severe doubt. But then I’d rotate with self-inquiry into brilliant trust. It was a roller coaster ride.

Very, very exciting.

Who would you be without your story?

You can do this. All it takes is answering some powerful questions slowly and honestly. You can do this.

A Community of the Spirit

There is a community of the spirit.

Join it, and feel the delight

of walking in the noisy street

and being the noise.

Drink all your passion,

and be a disgrace.

Close both eyes

to see with the other eye.

Open your hands,

if you want to be held.

Sit down in the circle.

Quit acting like a wolf, and feel

the shepherd’s love filling you.

At night, your beloved wanders.

Don’t accept consolations.

Close your mouth against food.

Taste the lover’s mouth in yours.

You moan, “She left me.” “He left me.”

Twenty more will come.

Be empty of worrying.

Think of who created thought!

Why do you stay in prison

when the door is so wide open?

Move outside the tangle of fear-thinking.

Live in silence.

Flow down and down in always

widening rings of being.

~ Jalaluddin Rumi

Much love,

Grace

P.S. Two events happening soon, that support your inquiry:

1) Being With Byron Katie (just stopped by the house which is getting a facelift for ten days….can’t wait to spend 4 days there starting July 8th)

2) Sliding Scale pay what you can. Summer Camp For The Mind begins July 5 – August 18.

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What would you really be without thinking about it?

The other day, I had one of those moments where I noticed….

….”OH. I’m here. Without thought. Just here.”

Even though seconds before I had images in my head about all kinds of things with a voice offering advice: go make those copies for Breitenbush, do laundry so you’re ready with clean clothes, I hope he’s doing OK with his cancer treatment, I hope she’s going to find peace with her mother, I need to email them, I wonder what she’s doing right now, I need to reply to him, set that up, do this.

The mind is so fast and full. Jam packed with possibilities and ideas and plans.

Scenes, memories, pictures, thoughts ticker tape through.

But as something draws your attention through your day….who are you without your thoughts about it?

Who am I without my thoughts?

Dang, what a crazy question…but what a wonderful, fascinating, exploratory question.

Don’t I need my thoughts? Wouldn’t I be some kind of weirdo without thoughts? Or dumb as a post?

As a memory steps through your mind, the image of someone’s face, or a scary picture, or the idea for a task, or your calendar, there’s a response in the body, in emotions perhaps (or sometimes, oddly, there is not response at all).

Who would you be without believing the image, picture, response was true?

Kinda cosmic, right?!?

But WOW.

It’s lighter, it’s even exciting, it’s relaxing, it’s a willingness not to take whatever you’re bumping into so seriously, including the pictures floating through your own mind about what your encounters mean about the future.

Turning the whole entire experience around: Thinking is not required. I don’t need to think, to “have” thoughts, or even “good” thoughts in order to be safe, secure, alive, successful, or happy.

Holy Moly.

Thoughts appear. Then, I notice they aren’t present, I’m simply observing. I also notice I’m sleeping sometimes–no thinking going on during sleep. I notice I also “lose my train of thought” all the time, and everything’s apparently fine.

Life goes on. Without a thought about it.

As I observed this wonderful and weird phenomena of noticing the absence of thought, the beauty of something just being here, I decided to make a Peace Talk podcast Episode 132.

(These things just appear, I have no idea what’s going on).

What’s here, without our stories?

“The tao that can be told is not the eternal Tao. The name that can be named is not the eternal Name. The unnamable is the eternally real. Naming is the origin of all particular things. Free from desire, you realize the mystery. Caught in desire, you see only the manifestations. Yet mystery and manifestations arise from the same source. This source is called darkness. Darkness within darkness. The gateway to all understanding.” ~ Tao Te Ching #1

Much love,

Grace

P.S. If you want to listen to the ten minute Peace Talk episode, head over HERE.

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Sickness: When there’s no hope, you’re free

Those of you who wanted to join the Masterclass: Ten Barriers To Deepening Your Work today at 8 am Pacific Time, you can sign up HERE. Then I’ll send the replay out only to those who want it. Bring your pen and paper.

And as I’m writing this, I’m thinking “Is this going to be OK for tomorrow?”

Because I have a rather severe cold, fever, pounding ears, sore throat. I can’t remember being this sick in ages.

Crazy!

I should NOT be sick.

This is an amazing thought to question. No matter what kind of illness, it often appears.

I shouldn’t have cancer, I shouldn’t experience this ailment. I shouldn’t feel so lousy. I should be able to go outside, eat dinner, run the masterclass webinar.

Sometimes, we can become absolutely terrified with the belief that we shouldn’t be feeling physically sick. Like a huge screaming NO!

Is it true I shouldn’t be sick right now?

Yes. I hate it. This is terrible. I’m trying to work, here, to keep my schedule! (Shake fist at sky).

What kind of images come to mind?

Staying in bed for days and days. Unable to go on. Sometimes, I confess, when I’ve had this thought I imagine being on my death bed. I think about how this body is declining ultimately, and will fade away and die.

I think about my daughter being sick when she was here for 24 hours this past weekend. She brought it into the house!

The mind tries to figure out how to prevent this from ever happening again in the future. I clench up against the physical pain, stare into space as I lie on the bed. Sleep during the day.

But who would I be without this thought I shouldn’t be sick, when I am?

Relaxing into what is, it seems. Letting it be here, like this. Achy, listening to the rain, noticing how more sleep will be good, watching that incredibly…I seem to be writing this Grace Note and I don’t see why not.

Turning this thought around: I should be sick.

This isn’t a slap, or a way to point out what’s wrong with me, or that I deserved it. Never those things.

But why should I be sick, when I am?

I have a human body, that’s why. This body is a host to other organisms, and it’s doing its thing to get rid of something that landed here, apparently. I don’t mind resting. I like it.

I feel very grateful and appreciative for my general good health. I can’t remember the last time I was this sick, it’s been a very long time (years).

Why else should I be sick, when I am?

I listened to music this afternoon sent to me by a friend last week while I was still traveling. It was a meditation, relaxation thing on youtube, very slow and quiet. I got to contemplate the mind, silence, while lying flat in the bed today.

I felt OK this morning, so this has come on very quickly and intensely, and a client I had scheduled for all afternoon cancelled because HE was sick….so far everything’s rolling along as expected, just with sickness accompanying the ride.

I still facilitated the Thursday evening Year of Inquiry call, and could listen, enjoy the inquiry, love everyone there. My work, like the call, is done from home so it doesn’t really matter if I’m sick or not. Until it does.

I’m not sure why else I should be sick, except when I consider this turnaround….I feel a sense of laughter, what-do-I-know, mystery, and readiness to climb into bed again. No choice. I’m not in charge or running this here. It’s a happening.

Turning it around again: My thinking should not be sick. Especially when it comes to sickness. So true. I can work myself into a tizzy about an ailment, or let go.

Another turnaround I notice is that “I” am not actually sick. Not the part of me that’s always here, the steady consciousness that’s been around from before I even knew about it.

“People who know there’s no hope are free; decisions are out of their hands. It has always been that way, but some people have to die bodily to find out. No wonder they smile on their deathbeds. Dying is everything they were looking for in life: they’ve given up the delusion of being in charge. When there’s no choice, there’s no fear. They begin to realize that nothing was ever born but a dream and nothing ever dies but a dream.” ~ Byron Katie

Much love,

Grace

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A very tricky stressful thought that can lead to…..eating, drinking, internetting, escaping

One of the top three stressful beliefs people shared when I asked what bothers them the most on a regular basis was “I drink or eat too much.”

I sure do know the pain of these. Not fun.

Now, this doesn’t have to be huge over-use, alcoholism, disordered eating, crazed bingeing, or very extreme behavior (like I myself experienced)….to be stressful.

Simply consuming when we said we didn’t want to, or wouldn’t, can start setting up a cycle of regret, frustration, and self-talk that says “I’m not good enough” or “I made a mistake”.

Usually, I’ve found there’s something very compelling, something I’m looking for or seeking, something I’m trying to avoid (or so the mind thinks) that becomes worth the act of consuming.

You know what the substance does.

At first, just for a moment, it offers some relief, it tastes so good, it’s pleasurable, the body relaxes. Yum. Ahhhh. Relief from tension.

Then, it wears off. The moment of pleasure moves to the next phase. Difficult digestion, bloating, restless sleep, dehydrated.

We’re so upset, we wonder “Why did I drink that again? Why did I eat that again? There must be something wrong with me!”

But instead of jumping to the conclusion that you are flawed, you can study the process and wonder to yourself “What is happening before I decide to consume this thing, that I would ditch feeling good physically and use this thing to get some pleasure, or relief?”

What’s going on in my day, in my week, in my mind, in my thinking….that says “eat, drink, smoke, TV, internet” or whatever your thing is?

What’s missing?

What am I worried about?

What’s the worst that could happen if I stop consuming this thing, substance, activity altogether in this moment?

Often people reach for their favorite relaxers when they have unscheduled time, at the end of the work day, at night, when they’re alone without obligations.

Just last night, my back was a little achy, I had a wonderful day with clients and projects and exercise midday….but I remained at the table with the laptop, working on something. My husband was waiting to take a walk. The clock passed 8:30 pm, then 9:00 pm, then at 9:25 pm I looked up and called out to him in the other room “I’m almost ready” (he is very patient).

Ten more minutes before I stood up and put on my jacket.

It appears in my evenings (this is not the first time) I’m unable again to pause, stop, relax, switch gears and end the work day.

What’s going on?

If you’re wondering about yourself, you can answer the question…what’s the worst that could happen in your mind and thoughts, if you stop?

If you stop eating, working, drinking, smoking….what is terrible about this mentally? What would you experience?

Now don’t just go and say “Nothing would be terrible about it! I’d love it! I’d finally be happy! I’d be doing something right!”

Now, now. This is the way we often think that covers up the underlying fear about what could happen if we stop.

You’re not crazy. There is actually a reason or thought process underway that repeatedly thinks if you stop enacting your compulsive behavior, consuming, watching, eating, busy-ing, there will be hell to pay.

So in my case, what’s the worst that could happen in my thinking if I stopped working?

I’d feel anxious. I’d want those tasks done. I wouldn’t be able to sit still with unfinished projects half completed. I’d think the empty space should be filled with something. I should accomplish something.

This can be a huge source of stress, and even a sense of profound powerlessness for people, the thought “I should be doing something productive.”

The mental judgment that what you should be doing ought to be productive, and sitting still isn’t productive, relaxing isn’t of benefit, doing nothing isn’t good.

Let’s inquire.

Is it true that doing nothing is bad or wrong? Is it true you should be doing something?

Yes!

Can you absolutely know you should be doing something productive?

No. It wouldn’t make sense to be producing 24/7. It’s not possible. It’s not balanced.

What happens when you think this thought?

I press on, push myself, think, make lists, check them off. If I sit still or do something different, I can’t stop thinking about doing something.

I battle with the desire to rest. In the past, I would begin to eat, and eat more. I’d watch a movie in the dark. Anything to avoid doing the things I thought I should be doing. I’d rebel! Anger would arise! I’ll do whatever I want! (Consume).

Who would you be without this thought that you should be doing something productive and acting like a good citizen?

Oh. Huh. Never thought of that before.

Let go of believing I should be accomplishing something? Is that OK?

I once had a friend who couldn’t stop cleaning, scrubbing, doing dishes, polishing even if I came over for dinner. She appeared unable to sit at the table with me and enjoy a conversation. When she stopped, she stepped out onto the balcony for a cigarette. The only way to pause.

Who would we be without the belief we should be Doing?

Wow.

Part of my mind moves to imagining I’d get depressed. You mean nothing is required, and there’s nothing to do? But. Don’t I matter? Isn’t this all about making a difference? I feel so good when I complete a major project, or do something cool. Isn’t that what all the great successful people are doing? Constantly accomplishing things?

Without the thought I should be accomplishing, I might fizzle into nothing and die!

Haha! (It’s true! We will all fizzle and die, at least this body will.)

Who would you really, really be without worrying about what your mind has to say if you unplug, rest, relax, stop?

I’d notice we get tired, go to sleep, shut down AND we “do” every single day. I’d be moved to work when I wanted to work, without forcing, being rigid. I’d be more caring for this body. I would have no urgency.

Turning this thought around: I should NOT be accomplishing something. I should be accomplishing nothing. 

Yes. My greatest desire is to be with everything, open to all that is in this world, and to experience the joy of being here for this temporary time. One thing I always wanted was being comfortable doing nothing.

Not contending with anything, not fighting anything (including this mind), not believing things will be better, later, once I finish the task…but to enjoy the laundry, the writing, each client, sweeping the floor, taking out the garbage, sitting on my couch, walking, sleeping…without expectation. Noticing.

Loving What Is.

Including empty unscheduled time, rest, slowing down, the space of stillness. No need to consume something or reach for pleasure, but allowing the quiet to be here now, even in the midst of a mind screaming that you need to do something.

Do you have to believe everything you think?

Ahhhh.

Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don’t resist them – that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like. ~ Lao Tsu

Much love,

Grace

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I thought I had a problem….I was confused

Wow, sometimes this mind can grab onto something like a dog clamping down on a bone, unwilling and unable to let go.

You’ve probably noticed.

When did my mind crunch down with gusto and start going in for the problem-solving intensity and worry?

Day Before Yesterday.

I realized not one single person, so far, who is signed up to watch Being With Byron Katie here in Seattle July 8-11 was opting to stay overnight at the retreat site.

I had this uh-oh feeling.

People don’t want to stay at this house. It’s too central, too urban, too city. I made a mistake! I should have had a more elegant-country-retreat house in mind! Why did being in the middle of the city appeal to me? Ohhhh Nooooo!!

My old standard favorite home to occupy for retreats and events, way in the north end and more suburban, is being torn down. As in Not Available for any retreats, ever again.

I liked THAT house.

Other people like that house, too. It’s spacious, comfortable, inexpensive, relaxed, lots of parking. I don’t want THAT house to go away.

I don’t want change on this particular issue!

People feel this way all the time about things other than houses they rent. Change is disturbing…. job loss, spouse loss or divorce, illness, possessions, children growing up, parents aging.

Last March, when I first learned my favorite retreat rental house was being torn down, I quick went crazy online looking for our new alternative for Being With Byron Katie. Combing through listings, emailing owners if they had a big screen television with good viewing room for a group.

Several times, as I almost thought I’d gotten a good house, it was rented within hours right out from under me. Houses were going like hotcakes! Everyone wants to be in Seattle in the summer! Holy smokes!

So when I found a fabulous location like Capitol Hill for our Being With Katie retreat that wasn’t so crazy expensive as everything else, I rented it sight unseen.

Now, why was I worried about no one staying there? Money. Dang it. Money again. Heh heh.

This is a “break-even” event where everyone’s registration actually contributes to the cost of putting it on.

Even people who attend for only a 3 hour session, or one day only, get access to the recordings for the whole event (until the end of September). So, it’s just a flat fee and everyone coming and going without words, taking in the event, keeping silence, then watching what they miss later if they want to.

And some people, I assumed, would stay in the bedrooms of this house overnight and chip in extra based on the rental fees, and cover their rooms.

I dropped by to look at the house in between guests, when it was being cleaned.

The inside is great. Very quiet. Lovely hard wood floors, beautiful kitchen, four nice bedrooms. But one side of the house runs along Harvard Avenue, which is busy and has freeway noise. The owners had me enter from the alley, which has a lovely quiet, secret spot feel.

But not a spread out, green vacation, lush landscape orientation, surrounded by wilderness.

Someone wrote and asked if she could bring her tent. Gulp.

There’s no yard for a tent. This is not for camping.

If no one opts to stay overnight….I’m paying a big chunk of money for four empty bedrooms. Yikes. No longer break-even. A loss of over a thousand dollars. Holy Moly.

This house is in an urban area in the middle of Seattle, literally. The homes are mostly stately mansions, gorgeous old Capitol Hill houses, lining beautifully landscaped sidewalks with small front yards and steps to the front door guarded by stone lions.

Nearby only one block away is Roanoke Park, which I remember playing in 40 years ago. In other words, there’s been no new development around this original Seattle hill for decades. Except maybe some remodeling of these magnificent homes.

The house we’re taking over for four days is actually modest in the midst of all the ornate display of old Seattle. It appealed to me deeply because I love the surrounding walks, the gorgeous views, the architecture. And it’s basically walking distance from the house where I grew up and my parents lived for 28 years.

Not far away (only 5 blocks or so) is a winding inner-city wooded park road called Interlaken Boulevard. I learned to drive on that road, and walked and biked it many times with friends.

Maybe my childhood stomping ground blinded me. (Inner squeal…MONEY!)

So I raised the worrisome “issue” with my husband. I’ll lose money. No one will stay. It’s not good enough. This is a disappointment.

And guess what he said?

“Is it true?”

At first it was a little chuckle. Then, we began to laugh.

Oh! Right!

Who would you be without your story of loss, change, worry?

Who would you be without your belief that you want the old one, you want it to stay the same, you want the same spouse, job, body, skill, etc, and not have any of it cost too much, by the way?

This wasn’t even that big a deal in the grand scheme of things. In fact, a midget sized worry, to be honest.

So what would it really be like to be someone who is not concerned with what is happening, to be someone who remembers they don’t know what the future will bring?

My husband and I began to find examples of how fabulous it would be if absolutely no one wanted to spend the night at the retreat house.

1) We could go sleep there and have it all to ourselves, taking walks all over Capitol Hill in the July summer nights.

2) We could rent out our cottage while we stayed at the Capitol Hill one to some excited people who didn’t think they could find a Seattle spot at this late date in the summer, and make some of the money back.

3) We could sit up late on the viewpoint just up the road from this house on the way to Volunteer Park and watch the full moon come up, then walk “home”.

What turnaround examples can you find for a life change you didn’t expect, or prefer?

How could it be OK, interesting, an advantage…even a wonderful thing that it’s going the way it goes?

And, I notice right here, right now…I have no idea really what will happen. I could have the opposite problem of too many people wanting to sleep in the retreat house, in which case….silent slumber party!!“

To join us at Being With Byron Katie, read about it and sign up HERE: http://bit.ly/bwbkgrace

To ask about staying onsite, email grace@workwithgrace.com and I’ll tell you all about the room options.

You are the wisdom you’re seeking, and inquiry is a way to make that wisdom available whenever you want. My experience is that there’s no one with more or with less wisdom. We all have it equally. That’s the freedom I enjoy. If you think that you have a problem, you’re confused.” ~ Byron Katie in 1000 Names For Joy

If you’d like to take a look at some common barriers to doing The Work, this is one of my favorite topics of all time.

(After working with many people and asking them about their deepest concerns, I’ve identified these ten barriers or blocks to “getting” The Work).

Register for the Masterclass HERE. We’ll meet Friday at 8:00 am Pacific Time. Yes, I will record it and yes, I will also offer it again live very soon.

 

Much love,

Grace