Wow, sometimes this mind can grab onto something like a dog clamping down on a bone, unwilling and unable to let go.
You’ve probably noticed.
When did my mind crunch down with gusto and start going in for the problem-solving intensity and worry?
Day Before Yesterday.
I realized not one single person, so far, who is signed up to watch Being With Byron Katie here in Seattle July 8-11 was opting to stay overnight at the retreat site.
I had this uh-oh feeling.
People don’t want to stay at this house. It’s too central, too urban, too city. I made a mistake! I should have had a more elegant-country-retreat house in mind! Why did being in the middle of the city appeal to me? Ohhhh Nooooo!!
My old standard favorite home to occupy for retreats and events, way in the north end and more suburban, is being torn down. As in Not Available for any retreats, ever again.
I liked THAT house.
Other people like that house, too. It’s spacious, comfortable, inexpensive, relaxed, lots of parking. I don’t want THAT house to go away.
I don’t want change on this particular issue!
People feel this way all the time about things other than houses they rent. Change is disturbing…. job loss, spouse loss or divorce, illness, possessions, children growing up, parents aging.
Last March, when I first learned my favorite retreat rental house was being torn down, I quick went crazy online looking for our new alternative for Being With Byron Katie. Combing through listings, emailing owners if they had a big screen television with good viewing room for a group.
Several times, as I almost thought I’d gotten a good house, it was rented within hours right out from under me. Houses were going like hotcakes! Everyone wants to be in Seattle in the summer! Holy smokes!
So when I found a fabulous location like Capitol Hill for our Being With Katie retreat that wasn’t so crazy expensive as everything else, I rented it sight unseen.
Now, why was I worried about no one staying there? Money. Dang it. Money again. Heh heh.
This is a “break-even” event where everyone’s registration actually contributes to the cost of putting it on.
Even people who attend for only a 3 hour session, or one day only, get access to the recordings for the whole event (until the end of September). So, it’s just a flat fee and everyone coming and going without words, taking in the event, keeping silence, then watching what they miss later if they want to.
And some people, I assumed, would stay in the bedrooms of this house overnight and chip in extra based on the rental fees, and cover their rooms.
I dropped by to look at the house in between guests, when it was being cleaned.
The inside is great. Very quiet. Lovely hard wood floors, beautiful kitchen, four nice bedrooms. But one side of the house runs along Harvard Avenue, which is busy and has freeway noise. The owners had me enter from the alley, which has a lovely quiet, secret spot feel.
But not a spread out, green vacation, lush landscape orientation, surrounded by wilderness.
Someone wrote and asked if she could bring her tent. Gulp.
There’s no yard for a tent. This is not for camping.
If no one opts to stay overnight….I’m paying a big chunk of money for four empty bedrooms. Yikes. No longer break-even. A loss of over a thousand dollars. Holy Moly.
This house is in an urban area in the middle of Seattle, literally. The homes are mostly stately mansions, gorgeous old Capitol Hill houses, lining beautifully landscaped sidewalks with small front yards and steps to the front door guarded by stone lions.
Nearby only one block away is Roanoke Park, which I remember playing in 40 years ago. In other words, there’s been no new development around this original Seattle hill for decades. Except maybe some remodeling of these magnificent homes.
The house we’re taking over for four days is actually modest in the midst of all the ornate display of old Seattle. It appealed to me deeply because I love the surrounding walks, the gorgeous views, the architecture. And it’s basically walking distance from the house where I grew up and my parents lived for 28 years.
Not far away (only 5 blocks or so) is a winding inner-city wooded park road called Interlaken Boulevard. I learned to drive on that road, and walked and biked it many times with friends.
Maybe my childhood stomping ground blinded me. (Inner squeal…MONEY!)
So I raised the worrisome “issue” with my husband. I’ll lose money. No one will stay. It’s not good enough. This is a disappointment.
And guess what he said?
“Is it true?”
At first it was a little chuckle. Then, we began to laugh.
Oh! Right!
Who would you be without your story of loss, change, worry?
Who would you be without your belief that you want the old one, you want it to stay the same, you want the same spouse, job, body, skill, etc, and not have any of it cost too much, by the way?
This wasn’t even that big a deal in the grand scheme of things. In fact, a midget sized worry, to be honest.
So what would it really be like to be someone who is not concerned with what is happening, to be someone who remembers they don’t know what the future will bring?
My husband and I began to find examples of how fabulous it would be if absolutely no one wanted to spend the night at the retreat house.
1) We could go sleep there and have it all to ourselves, taking walks all over Capitol Hill in the July summer nights.
2) We could rent out our cottage while we stayed at the Capitol Hill one to some excited people who didn’t think they could find a Seattle spot at this late date in the summer, and make some of the money back.
3) We could sit up late on the viewpoint just up the road from this house on the way to Volunteer Park and watch the full moon come up, then walk “home”.
What turnaround examples can you find for a life change you didn’t expect, or prefer?
How could it be OK, interesting, an advantage…even a wonderful thing that it’s going the way it goes?
And, I notice right here, right now…I have no idea really what will happen. I could have the opposite problem of too many people wanting to sleep in the retreat house, in which case….silent slumber party!!“
To join us at Being With Byron Katie, read about it and sign up HERE: http://bit.ly/bwbkgrace
To ask about staying onsite, email grace@workwithgrace.com and I’ll tell you all about the room options.
You are the wisdom you’re seeking, and inquiry is a way to make that wisdom available whenever you want. My experience is that there’s no one with more or with less wisdom. We all have it equally. That’s the freedom I enjoy. If you think that you have a problem, you’re confused.” ~ Byron Katie in 1000 Names For Joy
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If you’d like to take a look at some common barriers to doing The Work, this is one of my favorite topics of all time.
(After working with many people and asking them about their deepest concerns, I’ve identified these ten barriers or blocks to “getting” The Work).
Register for the Masterclass HERE. We’ll meet Friday at 8:00 am Pacific Time. Yes, I will record it and yes, I will also offer it again live very soon.
Much love,
Grace