Month: June 2014

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Now That Was Awesome! Breitenbush Live

Last day of June Summer Camp. Which means…tomorrow July Session starts!

If you want to connect to live calls in The Work for July, check it out and sign up HERE.

You can start at 8 am Pacific time on Tuesday, July 1st! Lots of calls to choose from. I hope to meet you in Summer Camp this month!

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I’ve come out of the luscious green old-growth forest to write to you!

It took me six hours to drive home. There was an exciting moment along the way where the wheel fell off on a car right in front of me.

More about that soon (I saw no cars crash, although I did see sparks flying)!

Before entering freeway world….we went deep into The Work at Breitenbush Hotsprings in Oregon in the annual 4.5 day retreat, for the fourth year.

There was a misty, soft rain pattering down most of the time this year, but of course the weather doesn’t matter one bit.

Inside our gorgeous round yurt with stained glass window up above, and soft carpeted floor, we have 28 minds doing their “work” between ages 17 and 77. They’ve come from far and wide, Florida, New York, California, and all around the Pacific Northwest.

One loving inquirer volunteered to go first last Thursday morning.

His worksheet was on the frustrations in teaching someone how to drive.

I thought of teaching my own son just within the past couple of years. The nervousness. Deciding not to hit the freeway yet….

….because I am the one who is too anxious, if he is the one driving.

The wonderful thought brought to the surface in our retreat: she should stop!

Everyone could find that thought. Everyone could feel that moment in their lives, in some situation, where they might have even been saying, or shouting, STOP!!!

And it wasn’t stopping.

You know what it’s like to want something or someone to stop, and they don’t.

Sometimes it can feel like you look around in the world, in your life…..and there is so much you’d prefer stopped.

Noise, traffic, talking, the grind of working, messiness, confusion, big feelings, addiction, depressive thinking, mean people, that troubling person who keeps accusing you of crazy things.

They should stop!

It’s true! I absolutely know that it’s true!

In our retreat we did an exercise I have begun introducing in most retreats or workshops I teach that are one day or longer, as a way to really contemplate and feel what your thoughts are like inside your body, how they affect the whole of you, this life force within you.

You can do it now:

Write down a thought that is disturbing, something you believe.

Maybe you have the same thought “that person (or thing) should stop”.

Now stand up and walk about, in the room you’re in, and feel what it’s like to believe this thought. Let you mind flash images, pictures, memories.

Let yourself feel the feelings…..

…..THAT PERSON SHOULD STOP!

In our beautiful yurt here at Breitenbush, all the inquirers walked about, heads down. Some backed up against the wall, rigid. Some felt like punching the air with fists.

Feel what the room is like, what your environment is like, how you feel about other people, when you’re believing it should stop.

Now pause. Take a deep breath.

Who would you be without the belief? If you couldn’t even think it, or have it cross through your mind?

It’s not stopping…..but you’re not believing it should, either.

I know it’s bizarre, especially if the activity happening (that you’d prefer would end) feels painful and hurtful.

But how do you move, without the thinking about it? How do you feel? What’s happening right now, in this moment?

In our retreat group, people noticed they felt suddenly INSIDE their bodies, they looked up, they wanted to smile. The room burst open with living-color, they could see everyone around them.

People hugged. Felt like jumping up and down, and running. Some felt their energy could hardly be contained inside this room.

What changed?

A thought.

I am beyond words today with the sense of gratitude, awe, reverence and inspiration found in the collective gathering of a beautiful group all doing The Work together.

Every person was such a gem.

They looked the most remarkable but not uncommon thoughts: the sudden death of a spouse, the pain from terrible trauma years ago at age ten, the fear of aging, the wish for someone loved to quit drinking.

That was the best Breitenbush retreat yet. I can’t wait until next year.

“Our true nature is not some ideal that we have to live up to. It’s who we are right now, and that’s what we can make friends with and celebrate.” ~ Pema Chodron

If you’d like to see Grace Notes on Facebook so you can share them with friends (yay!) then please click here and like my page.

Much Love, Grace

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Houston, There’s A Problem: How To Get Back Home

When I was in graduate school studying Applied Behavioral Science one thing I loved learning about was the very beginning first steps to approaching a “problem”.

Houston, there’s a problem.

OK….now what?

You have a certain (apparently limited) amount of time, you’re over THERE (outer space, for example) and you’d prefer to be back HERE instead (like, on earth).

Or you feel very frightened or anxious, you’d like to feel free before you die (your limited amount of time in years) and you’re not sure how to get from THERE (imprisoned) to HERE (liberated).

Hmmm.

In classes that I took on group work, group processes, and organizational development, the first thing we learned to do was to understand what was presently happening right in that moment, in that situation.

No trying to change it.

That may happen five seconds from now, depending on how speedy you’re trying to be, but first there must be a moment of taking in information and seeing what’s going on.

It’s an Intake Session in the world of health care, or mental health, or change efforts in a group.

This information gathering, the state of affairs in the NOW, is super powerful. That’s why I have people who work with me on food and eating issues keep a journal of their feelings around food, so they can see what’s going on without control, without any efforts to change it.

When you’re reviewing like a researcher your own mind, you may need a little (or a lot ) of help from friends.

Just like the Space Shuttle returning to earth, a team of people all thinking about something together, all discussing, looking, offering ideas, listening, brainstorming….

….these kinds of group connections and interactions and think tanks have always offered me profound, bubbling, powerful insights into PROBLEMS.

Not one of those brilliant engineers alone, all by themselves, could have gotten the astronauts home.

That’s why I love inquiry with a group.

You stay, through your connection to others and the combined power of the group energy….you stay, listen, clarify.

You hear things that make light bulbs go off.

I’ve been on a lot of meditation retreats. Everyone there doesn’t speak hardly one word, and yet we’re gathering with others intentionally.

We’re not in a room all alone (even though that might offer something amazing too).

“It’s important to realize that inquiry is about noticing, not about dropping the thought… Inquiry is not about getting rid of thoughts; it’s about realizing what’s true for you, through awareness and unconditional self-love. Once you see the truth, the thought lets go of you, not the other way around.” ~ Byron Katie

If you’ve been looking for a community, some might call it a sangha, to examine the mind and question your thoughts at a high, repetitive, deeply committed level, then this coming Year of Inquiry may be for you.

We begin in September together, on the phone, and with an in-person retreat for a weekend.

We travel together for an entire year, looking and noticing, and come together again in May for 5 more days in Seattle.

Every month there’s a new problem, to find our way home from.

We all do The Work together and separately, collectively waking up and returning again and again to planet earth.

If you’re ready to read more about a Year of Inquiry, click HERE.

“I feel like I’m tapping into such a good group, all these people with all this experience. I’m ready to learn fast, I feel like it’s on the fast track.” ~ YOI 2013-2014

“I feel I’ve made life-long friends but people who oddly don’t have to know any details about my life, but instead my inner life. This is what is most important to me. I am closer to this group than my regular friends. I feel I have a place of power to question what I believe.” ~ YOI 2013-2014

“I so appreciate this work, and this group. I love this group. I’m so happy that after going to The School, I have a community to keep on track in such a beautiful way.” ~ YOI 2013-2014

If you’re trying to get back to Houston, and you notice you have a problem with your thinking, join this group to question your mind, and change your life.

You can get assistance finding your way back home.

If you’d like to experience telecalls now, to get a feel for how this process might work for you, join us in Summer Camp for July.

Click to see it in action: Houston, There’s A Problem Here

Much Love, Grace

 

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Procrastination Graduation

At least once a month, I get an email from someone saying they’re procrastinating…and need to stop.

I need to act! Go! Start it! Do it! Finish it! Get it handled!

So infuriating, they know they want or need to complete something, and yet, nada.

Twenty years ago right now, this month, I was very pregnant with my son (turned out, he was born on the 4th of July).

I was also in graduate school.

I had taken all the courses, tests, the oral statistics exam (scary), written all my papers, read all the books, completed all class projects.

But I hadn’t finished my master’s thesis.

All my classmates got to walk through graduation, without me.

One of my favorite classmates and friends had his graduation party at my house (it was awesome) since I myself couldn’t have one!

Up to that point, even though I wasn’t graduating with all my friends and colleagues, I never had the thought that I was procrastinating by putting off writing that huge document. The thesis had to be accompanied by a very thorough “Action Research Project” where I would investigate an organization or a company, and help decide what blocks or problems existed there among staff, management, and systems and THEN help them make changes.

And write about the whole thing when it was over.

Since I was kinda nauseated at the beginning of that year of graduate school, I had made a clear decision to wait until next year to do this huge project. It could take 10 months to complete.

But then…the next year came, and I had a newborn, then a three month old, then 10 months…

I didn’t exactly feel like going out to businesses, dressing up in business clothes, and asking them if I could do a graduate thesis project on their company.

You only have five years to complete your whole entire master’s thesis when you’re getting a master’s degree. Students getting a PhD, a doctorate, have ten years.

Sounds like a lot of time, right?

There’s actually a term for almost-finished advanced degrees, which you may know If you’re part of that world: ABT.

All But Thesis.

Since my dad was a professor, I heard the term.

But I wasn’t too worried.

My son turned one, I started working part time as an editor. I could work at home. I didn’t go back to my old regular job.

I’ll do it pretty soon. I got this.

And then….I got pregnant again.

Now, I only had two years to finish this thesis. I had spent thousands of dollars on the tuition and gone through all that previous work.

It was now, or never.

I couldn’t live with never. I knew I would deeply regret it.

But I needed help, because the project was long, big and looming. The clock was ticking. I couldn’t put it off any longer, I wouldn’t even be ABLE to do it with a second baby.

I wish I had The Work back then…it would have been so helpful with the thoughts I had about contacting organizations, going to work in the one that said “yes”, interviewing all the staff, consulting with managers and leaders, and writing an 8 chapter thesis about the outcome.

This will be hard, this is scary, this is difficult, I don’t have time, I’d rather do something else, I want zero responsibilities, this sucks, I shouldn’t have gotten pregnant during grad school, I should have done it differently, I should stay home with my baby, I think I’ll go get some coffee.

When I look back at that time, I see that because the end result was so dang important to me (and failure seemed so terrible), the fear of not graduating after all the work I had already done was awful.

I asked for help.

Once again, the key to success….noticing that on my own, with my anxious, busy, reactive thoughts…

Nothing happened.

But one phone call to several people who really cared about me: my mom, one of my sisters, a close friend….

….was all it took to get off the ground.

They helped me focus on what I was thinking was “hard”, and see what we could put in place to make it easy.

I can look back on it now and call it the Turnaround Project.

*Childcare—I asked friends and one of my sisters, and they gladly volunteered

*Quiet writing time—I went to the library, I scheduled Saturdays from 2-5 pm for writing in my bedroom while my husband took our son out

*Creating and running two staff retreats for the organization I was working for—my mom’s big beautiful house

*Fear I was doing it wrong—meetings with my professors, phone calls to check in with them

The project was huge, and so worth it.

I finished, I published the thesis, it was a gigantic accomplishment.

I walked across the stage, graduating three years later than most of my friends from when we started grad school.

I didn’t know one single other student graduating that day with me.

But I walked, with my brand new baby in a sling across my shoulder (my daughter had been born two weeks before).

Tears began to well up and fall down my cheeks as I received my diploma, as I looked into the audience where my mom, my husband, my two-year old son, sisters, and a few friends sat clapping for me.

If you have a big project…or maybe even a little one…that you know you’d love to complete, or feel desperate to complete…

…you don’t HAVE to, of course.

But write down why you hate the project, what’s hard about it, what sucks, what feels burdensome…

….and question it.

Is it true? Are you sure?

Are you sure you want it to be super easy, not a burden, not something rigorous and demanding?

If you lived the turnaround, that it is NOT hard or impossible, that it does NOT suck, that it’s NOT a burden, that it’s a blessing, it’s completely possible, exciting, and you don’t even WANT it to be easy…

….who would you be?

“I never have the sense that anything I haven’t done is undone. I see the things that don’t get done as things that need a different timing; I and the world are better off without them, for now….

This life doesn’t belong to me. The voice says ‘Do the dishes’—okay. I don’t know what it’s for, I just do it. If I don’t follow the order, that’s all right, too. But this is a game about where life will take me when I do follow. There’s nothing more exciting to say yes to such a wild thing. I don’t have anything to lose. I can afford to be a fool.” ~ Byron Katie

That thing you’re procrastinating about today?

List your objections to doing it, see if they are true.

Ask for help. Let it go.

Graduate from your crushing thinking.

I noticed that yelling at myself to do something doesn’t work, so try something different for a change.

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A Kind Now Makes A Kind Future

You know that very small and admittedly big ticket high-end retreat I’m hosting that I told you about the day before yesterday?

The Serene, Powerful, Loved, Ecstatic, Enough Retreat.

I’m calling it Serenity for short.

(I’ve only watched about three shows in the past two decades, and Firefly was one of them. Yum. The ship name is Serenity, if you haven’t seen it).

I mentioned several special people who will attend either on skype or in person….

….Well, I’ll tell you who just one of the presenters will be:

Arielle Ford.

And she’s coming in person.

She is famous for her process and book called The Soulmate Secret, a way to find the perfection in imperfection in our primary relationships.

Isn’t that what we’re all doing with The Work?

Opening our minds to reality, relaxing with what we see as apparent flaws….in others, in ourselves, in life, in the world.

I learned about Arielle through her sister, the late Debbie Ford, who offered me such a beautiful way to live the turnaround of loving the end of my marriage with her book Spiritual Divorce.

For this special retreat, I also asked Byron Katie.

Naturally.

And Geneen Roth, David Whyte, Alanis Morrisette, Cheri Huber, Adyashanti and Mukti (Adya’s wife).

I expect the four days we spend together will be, quite honestly, magnificent.

I guess its not a secret anymore who just a small few of the people are who I deeply admire, so grateful for their teachings and words.

I don’t know if ALL of them will be able to say “yes”.

Which brings me to a stressful thought….kind of like the stressful thoughts you might have when you’re planning something, bringing something together.

Maybe you’re supposed to lead a meeting, give a speech, give a toast, run a retreat, host a party, compete in a race, take a big test.

You’ve got a thing coming up, and you’re not completely exactly sure how it will go.

What if everyone says yes? What if no one does?

What if nobody cares? What if I don’t do well? What if I don’t pass? What if I look like a complete dork? What if something happens at the last minute?

Aiyiyiyiyi!

You need to know it’s gonna be good.

Is that true?

Well, I at least need to know it’s gonna work out OK, I mean…right? I need assurance. I need confidence!

Are you sure?

No.

How do you react when you’re hoping, waiting, practicing, imagining, wishing very hard to win that race, be “on”, do fabulously well?

Pressured, nervous, not able to relax, jumpy, fussy, commanding, pushy, busy.

Not exactly fun when it swings into that pressure zone.

So who would you be without the belief that you need to know it will be good, go well, that everyone will come, that it will be awesome….

….even while you know it will very, very likely be happening (you can never know absolutely that anything will happen) and there are things to do beforehand, like planning, that help make it easier?

I notice without the belief that I need to know something will go super crazy well, that I’m very joyful in this moment, now, just imagining that future event.

I’m happy right now.

It’s OK if it does, or does not, happen the way I’m seeing it. I’m not even seeing it set up a certain set way…it’s just a feeling of happiness and gratitude about this moment, this fun world where time seems to pass and the future arrives.

“Freedom means living in kindness, AS kindness. It means never having a moment of fear, anger, or sadness–living totally exposed, as a gift. There’s nothing personal in it.” ~ Byron Katie

If you’re one of the very unique individuals who is called to join the private Serenity Retreat, click HERE to send in your application. It will be limited to 8 inquirers.

Much love, Grace

P.S. Year of Inquiry has registrations coming in. If you’d like to learn more about YOI, click HERE. We start together in September for a whole year of inquiry together. I already know, it is good. YOI JOY!

Opening The Mind is Miraculous

“The strongest part about YOI was the action of me making a commitment to do this for an entire year. There was something very profound in that. Having the fellowship of everybody else was very strong for me. I feel like I made real friends. Friends that will last a lifetime. I’m feeling very serene, similar to like when I just came out of The School except that this high has already lasted longer 🙂 I believe the length of lasting is proportional to the length of time in the class, ie, due to the length of time in the class. YOI is a great way to feel emotionally and spiritually connected to a group. It is a wonderful path of releasing old, worn-out, misunderstood belief patterns. The opening of the mind is a miraculous and spiritual experience like no other.” ~ YOI Participant 2013-2014

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I Made A Terrible Mistake

Have you ever felt horrible because of your own behavior, after you already did it?

You can’t take it back. You can’t change it. It happened.

And then the thought….I will never, ever, ever let that happen again. I will never do that again. Ever.

Humans have all different kinds of qualities they feel terrible about showing to the world.

Snapping at strangers, firey anger, vicious words at someone you love, addictive behaviors….

….or perhaps you’ve found your tears, sobbing, neediness, clinging, or desperation to be the most horrible quality you could reveal.

I will never, ever be needy. I will never cling or grab or reach for attention, love, or approval. Ick.

But let’s say you did want someone’s love, you wanted something to go your way, you made a scene.

One of the best ways I’ve found to work with self-inquiry on feeling embarrassed, wrong and humiliated….

….is to really deeply be with the scene that created the uncomfortable trait to come alive inside you in the first place.

A memory:

I walk up the pathway to the elegant, stately old house with happy and excited energy running through my torso. I’ve chosen a gorgeous shirt in a beautiful deep blue color, sexy jeans, delicate and feminine high-heeled sandals. I’ve put on make-up, the perfect amount of mascara, frosted lipstick, hoop earrings.

I like the man who lives here. I think we might officially call ourselves “dating” now.

He’s invited me to dinner at his home, after many meals out, and getting to know him for awhile as part of a educational group we’re both enrolled in.

Last night….was a big deal.

In the hotel at a conference we both attended, I spent the night with him. It was thrilling, sensual, hot.

I was smitten.

And now, the very next evening, with visions of last night replaying over and over with a thrill….I’m invited for dinner, at his house!!

He answers the door looking dashing, and I hug him and he smiles but seems a little preoccupied. He takes my hand and leads me to the full chef gourmet kitchen and shows me the meal he’s cooking himself for us, a Thai feast.

And then.

“That was so interesting last night. I now get the meaning of Friends With Benefits.”

My heart collapses, a surge goes through my whole system. My stomach clenches.

I’m choking down the urge to cry. I will not cry, can’t show I’m shocked. I’m breathing shallowly, the feelings in my chest are churning.

Oh. That’s how it is. Oh.

I stay awhile, make light conversation, then say that I’m not feeling that great for some reason, make excuses, I’m sorry, then leave. He’s super casual, saying we can take a rain check, no big deal.

I will never, ever do that again. I will never let that happen, ever. I’m too trusting, too needy, I make assumptions. I’m a loser.

Is that true?

Deep breath.

No. I’ve worried about it being true, but I can’t really know it is.

How do you react when you believe you made a mistake? That there’s something wrong with you? That you shouldn’t have done it.

Horrified, ashamed.

Focused on that other person, in this case the man, and seeing ME through HIS eyes (the vision is awful).

Stop.

Who would you be without that thought, that you made a mistake…or that he made one either?

Without the belief that something went wrong, that you have to make sure it doesn’t happen again?

Last night the Year of Inquiry group worked the thought, “I don’t fulfill my promises.”

Same stressful principle. I screwed up.

Turn the thought around: I will always, always let that happen again. I will make a mistake, blunder, make assumptions again. Definitely. I will accept that I am sometimes needy. I will probably cling or grab or reach for attention, love, or approval. Hooray!

Hooray?

Yes, hooray. Why not?

I’m a human being. So are you. Being human.

Being.

“When someone says the world is a terrible place, he becomes the champion of suffering, projecting that there’s something wrong here, something less than beautiful.” ~ Byron Katie

That includes you saying you are terrible….why not be simply, you. With flaws.

With a completely different tone and feeling inside, I say to the man now, looking back on that scene….

….”Oh! That’s how it is! Oh! How thrilling! Thank you so much for telling me the truth! The adventure continues!”

And actually, that IS what really happened.

I just didn’t realize it right away.

Maybe you haven’t realized how the mistake you made, that dumb thing you thought or did, was just perfect for what needed to happen next.

Much love, Grace

 

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Not For Everyone, But Maybe For You: A Private, Special Retreat

I am thrilled and jumping up and down (on the inside)!

Because a dream I’ve had that others have suggested to me before, something I couldn’t imagine only a few years ago, is now coming into reality this fall.

For five+ years now, I’ve been working with people who hate their bodies, people who struggle with eating, people upset by aging, their flaws, their appearance, a difficult spouse, trying times with kids, and those frightened about money and lack of support.

As one of my favorite authors and teachers, Geneen Roth, summarizes it….

….it’s the suffering of Not Enough.

Every single workshop or class offering inquiry to those struggling with food and eating, pain or illness has offered profound teaching for me personally.

I’ve been learning how I can transmit the information I have of freedom from the prison of worrying about food, trusting my appetites, accepting this body and its flaws, allowing money to come and go freely, letting go of anxiety, feeling grateful and feeling deeply beautiful….

….to you.

I’ve loved my own journey every step of the way (well, ok, I didn’t exactly LOVE it every step of the way) and living this ever-expanding life with you means the world to me.

You may know where I came from, but if you don’t, it’s kind of embarrassing and ugly.

At least that’s how I used to feel.

I was anxious about overeating, upset when too hungry, and never, ever satisfied with the way my body looked. I went on huge binges, stuffing my face with everything in sight. I pushed myself hard with exercise.

I lost almost all my assets and money, and never had a satisfying career. My relationships were somewhat rocky, I got divorced. I yelled at my kids.

I felt flawed.

The stressful beliefs began when I was a kid, and surfaced more deeply when I was in high school. Then they got more sophisticated and I became a nutrition expert (without a degree), and bulimic, and life felt frighteningly unpredictable.

Ugh.

What I really, really wanted was total freedom from thinking about my life in such a painful way.

It’s agonizing to imagine that something is wrong with you, with your body, your mind, your feelings, and that you’re a failure when it comes to being here on planet earth.

Then, on top of feeling unacceptable, I would criticize myself for being self-critical.

I should know better! I should be nicer to myself! I’m acting like a teenager! I need to get a grip!

You can’t win, with this kind of loop-dee-loop thinking. It’s like bouncing back and forth between a rock and a hard place, like a ping pong ball on steroids, never getting any relief.

I sought many modalities of healing and all of them were excellent.

Individual therapy, group therapy, The Course in Miracles, meditation, The Work of Byron Katie, retreats, counseling, training, spiritual teachings, twelve steps.

And now I’m ready to combine them into core teachings for healing the mind’s attack on the body, on other people, on food, on money, on life, and end that war.

I find there are six areas of stressful beliefs, some that begin when you’re only a child, that contribute deeply to Not Enough-ness.

You can question them all, and shift.

They are responsible for immense suffering.

These areas are:

  • If I don’t look acceptable, people won’t like me. If people don’t like me, I’ll suffer. Therefore, find out what acceptable is, and look like that.
  • My feelings are not to be trusted, or shown to others. They upset people.
  • I am not safe in many situations. The world (full of people) is a chaotic, disturbing or terrifying place.
  • My thinking is not my friend.
  • There are many activities that can change my feelings about situations that are troubling…like eating, smoking, drinking wine, cleaning, getting a crush on someone. But they all hurt in the end.
  • I am my body, my body defines who I am.
Boy howdy, when your feelings are not trustworthy, and your thinking is not trustworthy, and the world is not trustworthy….then you are up sh*t creek, philosophically speaking.
But there is a way out, entirely, from that madness.
You can question what you learned was true, from your earliest memories all the way to now.

You can alter your beliefs, your mind, your feelings….by changing what creates discomfort for you in your own belief system.

In other words, if you don’t like the way a thought makes you feel, you can question it and find out if it’s really, really true.

When I was in my twenties, I felt desperate to find answers. I had some fantastic guidance, but I wish I had found a clear resource to look at my inner thoughts and what I was making things mean in my life.

Now, I don’t even have to “work” at it.

Don’t get me wrong, my mind still has troubling thoughts. Just the other day I saw my 53 year old wrinkles around my eyes and let out a sigh.

But then I chuckled.

And if I don’t, I’ve got The Work.

Who would you be without the belief that you are Not Enough, that people won’t like you, that you need to be liked, that there is Not Enough money, Not Enough attention, that you must protect yourself from a hard world?

Kind of amazing to consider, right?

Which brings me to why I’m so excited….

I’m offering a very deep focused immersion into self-inquiry, spiritual inquiry, The Work and experiential exercises I’ve found to be amazing to address the sense of feeling lack, disappointment, anger, fear, discouragement…..

…..to a very small group of eight people.

The Serene, Powerful, Loved, Ecstatic, Enough Retreat.

If you enroll in this unique once-in-a-lifetime retreat, offered November 10-13, 2014, you will look at the nooks and crannies where you have believed in Not Enoughness.

You will look at who you really are, what is genuinely true, and what’s gotten in the way of your freedom.

You will have access to the nurturing, care, enough-ness, beauty and wisdom that lives inside of you, that’s been here all along even through your self-defeating behaviors.

You can put down trying to solve the problem of life, money, kids, spouses, food and weight, and build your contact with unconditional love.

We’ll question painful messages of fear and hurt, of thinking there is something wrong with you.

You’ll open to truly imagining there isn’t.

I would love to support you to put down the battle, the project of self-improvement forever….and I know you can’t stop your thoughts, and you can’t control them.

(Control never works in the end).

But you can turn your attention to other truths, you can stop proving that your stressful thoughts are true, and prove the peaceful ones instead.

This is not your average, in-house retreat where I have people come to my cottage for a day or two. This particular format will appeal and be possible for only a very few.

We will be in luxuriously cared for, with special guest appearances via skype or in-person by teachers who are experts in spiritual inquiry (and maybe you’ve heard of them).

I’ve asked several important guides, and it is yet unknown who will be able to connect with us for sure. It will be a surprise!

You will be able to ask personal questions and have direct contact with them.

This experience will be different than large meditation and educational retreats attended by hundreds. You will not contend with crowds.

And I’ll offer you my own experience and strength, and my compassionate facilitation.

“The Way of Liberation is a call to action; it is something you do. It is a doing that will undo you absolutely. If you do not do the teaching, if you do not study and apply it fearlessly, it cannot effect any transformation. The Way of Liberation is not a belief system; it is something to be put into practice.” ~ Adyashanti

You can turn all of your beliefs around, and live a life of completely, utterly, unconditionally enough at every turn, around every corner, deep inside of you.

You can start practicing it now, by turning the troubling beliefs to the opposite:

  • I can look the way I look, people love me. If people don’t like me, I’ll won’t suffer. Being myself is acceptable.
  • My feelings are to be acknowledged, honored, and shown to others. They don’t upset people. Or me.
  • I am safe in every situation. The world (full of people) is a mysterious, magical, curious and loving place.
  • Thinking is my friend.
  • There are no activities that can change my feelings about situations that are troubling…except self-inquiry, self-love, allowing everything and everyone to be as they are.
  • I am not my body, my body cannot define who I am. My body is inside of me, as is everything else.
At the Serene, Powerful, Loved, Ecstatic, Enough Retreat

you will stay in five-star award-winning accommodation Willows Lodge in Woodinville, Washington. Our group will be fully catered for every meal. We will work with the abundance of beauty and food as part of our inquiry practice, and what is enough.

For many others who will not be able to do this due to cost…. ….have no fear, I’ll be presenting my teleclasses this summer starting soon in July, and YOI (Year of Inquiry) in September…and I am working on pre-recorded classes you can take on your own.

(Eating Peace will be the first class people can take online on their own, stay tuned).

“We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?’ Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.” ~ Marianne Williamson

Letting yourself experience this four-day retreat of deep self-inquiry, The Work, presence, now….you may discover a new light within that is both serene and ecstatic, when you know how loved you are that no situation, person, place or thing can change this.

And who knows what can happen from there.

The Serene, Powerful, Loved, Ecstatic, Enough Retreat is by application only.

If you are interested, please click this link. I will respond to all applications on a first-come, first-serve basis. Please apply by July 4th, independence day in the US. Your payment will be due upon your acceptance into the program and confirms your participation.

Thank you universe for this incredible opportunity to be a guide along your journey.

Wherever you are, and whoever you are, you are love.

“Love is action.” ~ Byron Katie

Much love, Grace

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Ouch! What To Do With Negative Thoughts About Your Looks

A few years ago I was the speaker for a women’s event at the Center for Spiritual Living in Seattle.

The topic was, of course, The Work of Byron Katie.

I had everyone in the audience (there were about 100 women) fill in Judge Your Neighbor worksheets on one situation that really bothered them, maybe for a long time, in their personal lives.

I noticed something interesting, and yet not at all surprising, when I asked for volunteers to share what they had written.

Seven out of ten of the volunteers wrote about something being wrong with their weight, body, appearance, or how they ate.

One woman said she hated the way her butt looked, and her size. Another said she hated her wrinkles at age 60, and that they kept getting “worse”.

Yesterday, I was interviewed (yes, the second time in a week, weird I know) by a wonderful friend and colleague Audra Baker who works with women in nutrition, fitness, exercise and finding freedom and love in all these areas.

She sought me out to share with her peeps about undoing some of the core beliefs about appearance….one of my favorite set of beliefs to undo.

She bravely used her own belief to show the audience how The Work can work.

Her painful belief?

My weight should be my ideal weight.

At the women’s conference at the Center for Spiritual Living I heard these thoughts: my wrinkles are ugly, my thighs are too big, my arms are to jiggly, my belly is too fat, I look too old.

Often, I hear people get angry at themselves for even HAVING these thoughts in the first place….I should know it doesn’t matter! I’m more than a body! I refuse to be so superficial!

But have you noticed, the mind will run these thoughts anyway, despite your best efforts at controlling these kinds of thoughts about your appearance?

So let’s dive into them, look at them head-on, and see what happens.

Your weight (you fill in the blank for what you find unattractive about yourself) is NOT the right weight for you.

Is that true?

Yes! I saw my body! I walked by the store window, I looked at myself in the mirror, I tried on my old jeans. All these prove that this is true!

But can you absolutely know that it is true? If you were all of divine consciousness, if you saw with the eyes of the absolute and infinite?

Are you positive your weight is not ideal?

Are you sure your body is ugly, unattractive, or that it will send people running for the hills? That people won’t find you beautiful? That it means there’s something wrong with you, or that you’re flawed?

No. I can’t know any of this is true.

How do you react when you believe the thought that what you saw in the mirror was repulsive, wrong, ugly, droopy, fat, thick, too big, too small, too old?

Depressed, discouraged.

All the women I’ve ever done The Work with answered that they felt small, shrunken down. Sometimes they wouldn’t even go out to a party, or to the beach, or walk down the street happily. They’d cover their bodies up.

They’d shrink.

So now the big beautiful question….who would you be without that belief? Who would you be without the thought that what you saw to be wrong, actually IS wrong?

If you couldn’t even THINK that thought when you saw that reflection in the mirror? Or when you saw the scale read a number you don’t like.

WOW.

During our interview, Audra said without that thought, her whole mind expanded, her consciousness grew infinitely bigger, she felt lighter.

A weight lifted off her heart.

I saw her put her palm to her chest, so touching.

I noticed I had the thought just the other day putting lotion on my face that my skin really was looking old and very wrinkled around the eyes.

Without that belief that there’s anything wrong with that, my actions move on to the next thing, I don’t avoid anything, I flow with the space of the day, the joy of being alive.

I notice that what’s inside, the deep inner center space inside, could care less.

Turning the thoughts around: What I’m seeing is gorgeous, ideal, perfect for now.

These wrinkles, this weight, this butt, this stomach should be exactly the way it is. It’s a GOOD thing.

How could this be true? Can you find three examples?

My wrinkles give me wisdom, the authority of someone a little older, I move beyond appearance because it’s too late to be involved with that (ha ha!), I surrender to the knowing that this physical, natural thing (this body) softens, bends, moves.

I see the groves of the canyons and mesas I see in Colorado and how phenomenally stunning they are. I notice I don’t believe the valleys, rivers, lines and canyons should not be there.

These wrinkles are absolutely beautiful. This weight is ideal. This butt, this stomach, these thighs, these arms, this body…all so stunning, miraculous, sensual, alive.

Live that turnaround! Oh happy day!

“Too fat, too short, too tall, too thin…bad, bad, wrong, wrong!… Every body is perfect, Now. Every body is perfect, NOW. It doesn’t mean it won’t change, but for now, this is the body you need to be you…..There’s a perfect thing going on here, there’s not one thing out of order.” ~ Byron Katie

Really considering what is good about this state of this body, in this moment, today, is the most heavenly feeling of liberation.

Freedom from all these thoughts of how the body needs to change, in order to be truly happy. Freedom from concern about ugliness, rejection, fear.

Can you find your good reasons for your current body being the way it is?

Share them on the Grace Notes page, I’d love to read your turnarounds!

Much love, Grace

P.S. I’m cooking up an intensive in-person immersion in The Work on the Body and Beyond…the spiritual path of unraveling your stressful thinking. More on this very soon in Grace Notes.

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July Summer Camp Starting Soon

Even though a conference I just attended is complete, I’m not yet back in Seattle.

Today I was offline and off cell service all day, hiking amongst the ruins of the ancient Pueblo people in the southwest United States, in Mesa Verde.

The landscape is vast, strange, and magical. Kinda like the mind and our inner lives.

Meanwhile, many people wrote to me asking about the exact dates of Summer Camp.

The dates for July Summer Camp for The Mind are:

July 7 and July 21, 4-5:30 pm Pacific

July 1, July 8, July 22, 8-9:30 am Pacific

July 3, July 17, July 31, 9:30 am-11:00 am Pacific

These are all live calls on Mondays, Tuesdays and Thursdays.

Anyone in Summer Camp can join these calls live and get your work done with a small, wonderful group of inquirers, or listen to the recording afterwards and do your work as you follow along.

And the price for the entire month? $97.

Crazy low…I did it so you can get the chance to sample the work with a small group this summer at a very low fee, in community with others.

We have a facebook secret closed group, and you’ll be able to join, share and question.

It’s sort of oddly simple, but there is nothing like scheduling your inquiry time to ensure it happens.

You may have completely new awareness, and the ability to understand yourself in a different way.

That’s what doing The Work offers…the chance to examine your mind, feel what is really true, be here now.

July Summer Camp starts with a call on July 1st. Register soon if you know you want a space for the month.

Won’t you join me?

Much love, Grace

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So Much To Do? Rest Here Now

After a retreat, vacation, travel, or some special time of learning something unique and new there’s something people refer to as the after-workshop glow.

Today, as I slept in (crazy unusual for me) after late-night conversations, singing around the campfire outside, and three intense days in learning and connecting with others, I feel very excited about…..well, EVERYTHING.

And then there was a little thought, not unfamiliar, which said “but you don’t have very much time.”

Oh brother, not TIME again.

Can’t you give it a rest?

Do we have to be concerned with time, and how much or how little or the quality or the apparent endless scarcity of it?

Visions of what I need to and want to do float through my head, even as I’m lying in bed after sleeping so deeply and so long.

I need to put the final touches on Year of Inquiry which I’ll take applications for soon…it starts in September!

I need to arrange a very special retreat I’ve been thinking about putting together for awhile for a very small group because enough people have asked.

I need to get ready for this next month of Summer Camp for The Mind for everyone who wants to be in the July session!

Answer emails! Get some tech stuff in place on my website! Write to so-and-so! Replace my dresser in the bedroom! Finish that book!

I need to, I need to, I need to…

Oh boy. I know I’ve written about time and stressful beliefs about it before, but these thoughts sure are persistent and gripping.

Let’s look again, from a new angle.

Why do I need more time? Why do I want all those things done anyway?

The mind imagines that with all these things completed, there will be a moment in the future when nothing is required, when you can rest and feel peace.

But not now, because they aren’t done yet, right?

I can’t truly rest with all these things unfinished.

Is that true?

Yes. They are in the back of my mind. Even writing this Grace Note, I’m thinking just a little about what will happen after that, what I may have to set aside until later, how I can best use the afternoon, blah blah.

But can I absolutely know that it’s true that I can’t truly rest with all these things unfinished? I can’t enjoy and relax right here, now, even with a big to-do list?

No.

Instantly with that recognition that the answer is “no” I look up.

I see the room I’m sitting in. Books, window, beautiful gleaming wooden floor, sun coming through edge of window, power cord, full tea cup.

I feel this moment, this room. Even with a mind scampering around shouting about what needs to happen.

This body relaxes, I feel the center of it, something very quiet and dark and deep, that knows all is well and none of all that stuff even matters.

Something so funny about it!

Who would I be if I couldn’t even think the thought that I can’t rest until all these things are finished, or it’s going to be better later when they are?

I feel a deep gratitude, that this moment is all that is necessary.

There is no future moment when everything is done, unless there is, but none of that is necessary right now.

It’s so amazing how the mind conceives of the joy I will experience from the completion of all these events and activities, and what should happen soon….

….and then takes off without waiting to notice that things are also very, very well right here in THIS moment, now.

Even if you are in traffic and you’re supposed to be somewhere in five minutes that isn’t physically possible….

….instead of feeling anger at the other cars, the street, your condition, your situation, lack of time….

….what if you knew all was so perfectly in order, you couldn’t possibly adjust time to make it better for you. Because it’s good NOW, as it is. Unfinished.

I CAN truly rest with all these ideas, tasks, activities unfinished.

That is far, far more true. That is true in every moment.

WOW.

“Time is in the mind, space is in the mind. The law of cause and effect is also a way of thinking. In reality all is here and now and all is one. Multiplicity and diversity are in the mind only.The mind craves for formulations and definitions, always eager to squeeze reality into a verbal shape. A quiet mind is all you need. All else will happen rightly, once your mind is quiet. As the sun on rising makes the world active, so does self-awareness affect changes in the mind. In the light of calm and steady self-awareness inner energies wake up and work miracles without effort on your part.” ~ Nisargadatta Maharaj

I know in this moment, I would rather see what happens next without effort on the part of my mind.

Oh, look at that. This Grace Note is complete and only 35 minutes have passed….

….but by writing about these thoughts, awareness shines in me and my whole body is more relaxed.

It’s still morning, the sun is brighter, I hear a skateboarder ride by outside and birds calling.

Time, apparently, to stand up and go out.

Much love, Grace

P.S. If you’d like a taste of guided work with me (with you), so you sit still, do your work, join with others…then come on board for Summer Camp in July. Small group of truly incredible inquirers, ready to investigate thoughts that hurt. Only $97 for all the calls you can make (there will be seven during July). Click HERE to register.

 

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I’ve Arranged Complimentary Access For You…

Right now, I’m attending a special small group retreat in the high mountains of Colorado with such fabulous people and mentors.

Unlike my usual shenanigans out in the world, this retreat is focused on business, money, mindset, marketing and creativity.

I love it!!

Because I’m occupied deeply in the work I’m doing from morning through late evening, I’m sharing something a little different today.

Not long ago, I was interviewed by the delightful Abby Gooch who centers her work in intuition…studying intuition and its presence in all her life, but most especially in business.

When she and I talked both on an off the camera, I realized how intuition as we were seeing it, becomes clearer and clearer as we dissolve stressful beliefs.

When you question beliefs about anything….but in this case, money and business (the ones that feel bad) life begins to feel soooo much easier and relaxed and abundant.

That sure is what happened for me.

Intuition, says Abby, is how your soul speaks to you.

And by your soul, she means the eternal piece of you that’s connected to everything and everyone in the universe. The mysterious center of you.

It already knows what to do, quietly, silently.

Abby knows, and I have experienced this as well, that if you learn to listen to, trust and follow the guidance your intuition gives…

(and questioning your thoughts helps this grow louder so you can hear it without confusion)

…it will lead you step-by-step, moment-by-moment to the people, resources, actions and inspirations that will help you create an exciting, adventure in business and/or work and your relationship to money–a marvellous story, not an upsetting one.

Following your intuition, once you can really hear it, you can live a sweet, peaceful, joyful, restful life…the one you may dream about in a happy dream.

That’s why I’m excited to invite you to this one-of-a-kind online summit…(because I’m one of the speakers, holy moly!)…

= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =

Intuition to Income

21 Days of World-Class Training

Reserve Your Complimentary Pass Here: Register Now!

= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =

Intuition to Income Global Summit is hosted by my friend Abby Gooch, the founder of Life Force Connection.

She’s a talented intuitive coach who helps her clients learn to listen to, trust and act on the guidance their intuition provides.

Intuition to Income Global Summit features a faculty of entrepreneurs from around the world who have learned how to tap into and follow their intuition to create rewarding and lucrative businesses.

Each day for 21 days, you’ll get access to a new interview. Listen to it at your leisure. Soak up the energy. Start to implement the proven strategies these entrepreneurs have proven will work.  It’s meant to support you on your soul path.

I’m humbled to say that Abby has invited me to participate. I hope that you’ll tune in to hear what I have to share.  Click here to see who else is speaking, and to reserve your place:

 

Learning how to listen to, trust and act on your intuitive guidance is something that happens when you feel the impact of continuous inquiry, un-doing your painful thinking.

Hearing the voice within, the peace feeling inside, transforms your life.

As you align with your soul, you feel more connected and “on purpose.” You create better relationships and attract the perfect clients. And you build the right business for you–one that is lucrative and that changes lives.

I know because I’ve done it. And I’d love to share what I’ve learned.

Will you join me? Reserve your place here: Register Now!

Much love, Grace

P.S. If you’ve dreamed of earning a great living while doing work that you love and making a big impact, Intuition to Income Global Summit is a great event to attend–and you’ll get to see me tell my money story.