How many times in my life I have had the thought about a person or an event, or a circumstance “this needs to be shut down”.
It feels like a natural place for the mind to go, once there are enough stressful beliefs accumulating about a person, place or situation. We get really full of emotion and feeling, angry, afraid, confused, conflicted, maybe steam is coming straight out of our ears…
In comes the terminator. Total control. Military. All guns pointed at the culprit. This must be stopped!
In that mode, I’ve done things like start a new food plan, “quit” things like cigarettes, or gone silent with people who are important to me (talk to the hand!)
There is something really amazing about the power of discipline and goals and taking action with lots of energy and conviction and courage. However, for me personally, I really need to look at what I was believing right before I decided to bring out the big guns. In the end, it’s a LOT EASIER.
It’s usually been thoughts like these:
*I can’t make it through the day without _________ (fill in the blank, like cigarettes) because ___________.
*There is no other solution except to drink alcohol or overeat in this moment
*I am simply powerless over this, I don’t have what it takes to resolve this situation
*That person is too manipulative, too mean, too frightening, too annoying
*I am getting hurt
If I question whether any of these are true, and spend some time with the opposites and find how this can be as true, I feel a different kind of power grow within me:
*I CAN make it through any day, without __________ because ________.
*There IS another solution
*I am capable, I have what it takes to resolve this
*That person is being perfect as they are
*I am getting healed
Questioning even one of the stressful concepts that enters the mind before we think we need to shut something down is incredibly liberating.
And, it does not mean that I will continue smoking or continue overeating, continue talking with someone in my life in the same frequency or the same way. It does not mean that I won’t walk away from a violent or really painful situation.
It means I find a loving place inside myself and I take action or not, and I don’t have to “know” 100% what to do. I wait with patience and love. I relax. I don’t have to find who the enemy is or what is “wrong” with my situation and ATTACK.
When I attack and go into serious terminator mode, I find that the energy it takes to keep holding the weapons of mass destruction and be “against” something or someone break down eventually. Then I’m back to the more confusing thoughts I had before I decided to SHUT THIS DOWN.
Staying with those confusing thoughts, not moving away from them or getting distracted from them, can be uncomfortable….but it stops the cycle.
When I question the beliefs that bring out lots of fear, I have no desire to be violent or like the military with my thoughts. There is no need. I know I am ultimately safe and I can let things and people be as they are.
I notice I move away from some people, say “no”, say “yes”, leave certain situations like places of employment or move to another city, or I notice that I never binge-eat or smoke cigarettes or use drugs of any kind. These are done not out of defense or attack, but out of a place that feels like love.
I love knowing that we’re all on a path of un-doing our belief systems that keep us needing a personal internal military. The next time you think “this needs to be shut down” see what you.
Love, Grace