Only a few minutes after waking up this morning, I began to sort minutes and time mentally while still lying down in bed. Let’s see, it is now 7:04 am. When I rise, in 2 minutes, I will begin the list of ideas and activities. Some concern about leaving the house by 8:30 am. Flashes of thought, images of staying on track.
Oriented towards the immediate future. What will happen next. Mind busy with planning.
Then at perhaps 7:05, or perhaps simultaneously sort of mixed in with the future focus, memory of a fascinating speech I listened to on YouTube by Sam Harris on the absence of Free Will yesterday afternoon.
Then the mind thinking about itself right now, interested in what is beyond this “thinking” place. Aware of emptiness and vast space, here all the time. The question “who am I?” and the questions “what is going on right now…what is this whole thing, this life?”
Here comes another memory flash, it’s still 7:05 am. I recall reading an article many years ago about a spiritual teacher who asks a very troubled teenager to find who or what she really is, in the overall center of herself.
The teenager says “what the hell are you talking about?” So the teacher says, “OK, point to your leg”. She points. “Point to your elbow”. She points. “Point to your nose”. She points. “Point to Whoever or Whatever is pointing”. The teenager smiles really big and says “OH! I hadn’t thought about that before! Cool! OMG that’s been here the whole time!”
I myself, the reader at the time, kept thinking “what did she see exactly?” Because it looks like a huge, vast space to me. I can’t exactly point to it. And it also evaporates and has no edges. And my mind seems to be very, very small in comparison.
At 7:06 I decide I want to get up and do some computer research, before writing, on what other people say about the vast, empty space thing.
There are a lot of teachers and speakers, workshop leaders and trainers. Classes, retreats, programs, degrees, speeches, books.
So much information that it is impossible I would ever be able to take it all in, read every book, work with every idea or approach, meet every fascinating human, listen to every one of them speak.
So quickly the mind moves, I notice the thoughts enter, those rascally little busy ones always looking for New and Improved…..”I need more information” or “I must Get This” or “I should be aware of the vast-empty-space thing at all times” or “my life would be even better if….”
“Without opening your door, you can open your heart to the world. Without looking out your window, you can see the essence of the Tao. The more you know, the less you understand. The Master arrives without leaving, sees the light without looking, achieves without doing a thing. ~ Tao te Ching #47
There’s the mind, chattering away. There’s the Silence, always present.
No need to read anything, turn on the computer, do something, go fast. Being in the Tao, the middle, the space, the quiet…nothing matters. No trying necessary. Letting go.
Mind talking away, assessing, analyzing, doing its thing. Functioning like a little machine buzzing in the corner. Not that important, in a good way.
This Silence, Love, Peace has been here the whole time.
Love, Grace