Tag: Eating Peace

Posted on

A key turning point in my healing journey of eating peace

Eating Peace Basics 101 Online Live Course will run June 24th – August 12th with live Wednesday calls (all recorded) from 9am-10:30am Pacific Time (which is Noon ET or 6pm Europe).
In this course I’ll share 8 key foundational stories–one every week–that are key to investigating so we can dissolve the eating wars we’ve been fighting.
To identify our thinking inside these common stories, and then question the beliefs running for us, is such a huge relief. Read more about the course here.
Also it feels important and worth mentioning that I’m offering an online retreat starting tomorrow at 4:30pm PT to question the beliefs that cause suffering. We’ll be unraveling our painful thinking using The Work of Byron Katie from June 2-7.
While this retreat is not specifically for eating issues, this work is one of the most valuable tools I use to dissolve compulsive behavior.
If you’ve been here awhile reading Eating Peace notes, you know this already. The Work is the way out of the mind and into our freedom with food, with bodies, with everything.
I’ll be sharing the facilitation of this retreat in The Work with the dear and skilled Tom Compton. To read the schedule and options visit here. If you attend only mornings or only evenings, we welcome you for half-time IF you have some experience with The Work.
*************************
Someone asked me recently to share one of my turning points in healing my crazed eating.
There are several key moments when something shifted from that moment forward (all unplanned, but powerful parts of my journey) and these turning points all are related to stories I discovered were false.
Eight of these stories are actually ones I am including in Eating Peace Basics 101.
But one of these stories is a break-down of my beliefs about being honest about what was happening on the inside of me.
It was about how I perceived connection with other people: dangerous, risky, frightened of their rejection, frightened of their judgment.
I didn’t want to be abandoned or rejected, and I did everything to make sure to prevent those things from happening.
Trouble is, I constantly rejected and abandoned myself, and in my focus on avoiding these experiences, the dark cloud of them all floated around me all the time.
I ate, purged, I starved myself, I freaked out about eating and focused on food incessantly.
Here’s what happened. It wasn’t pretty. But reality was much friendlier–a thousand times friendlier–than my thoughts about it:

If you feel isolated the way I did, you may find connection in Online Retreat with me and Tom C, or the Eating Peace Basics course coming up. I’d be honored to have you in either one. It’s my heart’s joy to share the peace with others and it keeps me on my own journey of waking up to What Is.
Much love,
Grace
Posted on

Silence, screaming thoughts, and the process of discovering what works and what doesn’t

I love that learning anything is a process.

By definition, a process is a series of actions, steps, adjustments, movements….all working together towards an end or a direction. A procession is a collection of people moving as a part of a greater whole, towards the same destination.

There’s an awareness of “time” with a process, but also action, movement, motion, flow. Going from there, to here. Or here, to there.

I love that eating peace is a process, just like “thinking” peace.

We’re identifying our stressful thoughts, watching what happens when we believe them (including the way we eat) and wondering what it would be like to not believe those thoughts.

It can be a vast and wonderful experience, this process. It’s life unfolding before us. We’re learning all the way.

And guess what?

I just offered an Eating Peace webinar training this most recent Saturday morning….and learned something.

I had added a segment, and it turned out to be waaaay too big a bite to chew. (I love those eating metaphors).

I learned that I need to remove the extra I wanted to offer–I get so excited about supporting people to enter an eating peace process–and leave it as “plenty” or “enough”. There’s always more we can learn, you know? And we don’t have to learn it all at once.

Just like meals. We don’t have to eat it all at once.

Food will be there again for us to enjoy when the body is once again ready. No need to pack it all in now.

If you missed the too-long Saturday webinar, join me for Tuesday’s webinar at 4 pm PT OR Thursday’s at 8 am PT. I love offering this webinar live and sharing it with you. I’ll answer questions about the Eating Peace Process and share about the content of the in-depth program at the very end.

Let’s question our thinking, watch what gets adjusted naturally….notice what works, what doesn’t. We’re refining our perceptions of reality, we’re dropping our stressful thinking (which doesn’t work) by investigating it closely. We’re opening up to movement in the direction of peace without blame, violence, control, or self-hatred.

What I notice is as we question our thoughts, find our own answers, we become deep experts in our own inner world.

When you have an inner world you’re open to exploring….peace arises in the mind.

Thinking peace leads to eating peace. No other option really.

Posted on

Eating Peace: Ending Crazy with eating can happen any moment, even now…and the timing is not really up to you

Sometimes, when you want it to be another way….not the way it is….the sense of discouragement is awful.

I’ll never get there.

I can’t do this.

Nothing ever works.

I’ll be an overeater or a binge-eater forever.

I’ll never be a thin person.

I give up.

But can you really know that it’s true that you aren’t on a path to peace? To liberation?

You’re here, reading this, aren’t you?

Who would you be without the story that this learning process, or un-learning process, is taking too long? Who would you be without your stressful beliefs about yourself, and what a compulsive person you are, or how difficult your mind or your thoughts are to deal with?

Who would you be, right here in this moment, without the belief this situation is never going to be ideal, or over?

Recently an eating peace inquirer was saying she feels she’s made progress with losing her diet mentality (on the wagon, off the wagon type thinking), but wants to lose more weight.

As she continues investigating her thoughts, and even looking very specifically at what she’s eating and what she might tone down or reduce, without deprivation, I know she’ll find new awareness.

At one point in my journey of healing, I remember thinking I would never ever be over this horrible binge-eating problem. But then, as I connected with mentors, went into group therapy, learned to talk with people very honestly, risked being myself very naturally (the best I could at the time) and committed deeply to a life of peace and freedom….

….I noticed I returned again, even after a binge or turmoiled eating, to feeling open to studying what happened, and a willingness to stop being so terrified of change.

I’d also find calm again. I was never at the peak of horrible stuffing in of food all day, every day. Good to notice.

One day, I realized it had been awhile since my last restriction/self-starvation day and my last binge-eating day. The gaps got bigger between episodes, between the stress or isolation.

They got bigger, and wider, and bigger and wider and then one day, I knew I could promise to myself at the deepest level “I will never binge again” and know it was true. Even if I had the urge, or felt fear, I just knew I wouldn’t.

It was nothing like all the previous promises to stay on the diet or control myself or use willpower to force any cravings underground.

This was more like a knowing, a commitment, a depth of certainty that I didn’t have to follow any craving, or act on it, or be so threatened by anything in my life that the only option was to eat.

Watch today as I speak about this idea of being “done” with the obsession, and share a poem I remembered from just about the time of my very last binge (it was written in 1988).

Seattle workshop: Eating Peace rare 3 hour mini-retreat on How to do The Work of Byron Katie on eating, weight, body image and cravings at East West Books in Seattle, March 18th 3-6 pm only $25. Please pre-register here.

 

Much love,

Grace

Posted on

Eating Peace: Comparing your body to other bodies? Do this, for freedom.

My very first stress when it came to food, eating, weight, body, fitness…..all started with believing I should look better, different, perfect, strong, and fit.

Before that, I was a little nervous about food and eating, and aware as a kid that being overweight wasn’t good according to the world of grown ups….

….but I didn’t really care about having a “good” body until teenage years.

But you can get stuck in that teenage mode of striving for the perfect “look” forever, if you don’t sink deeper into a more honest look at weight, body image, or your looks and what it means.

In this video, I make one suggestion on how to work with comparing your body with some other more perfect body out there in the world, on the TV screen, in the movies, at the gym.

Wouldn’t you rather find acceptance, appreciation and joyful laughter about having a body versus that crazed drive for looking your best?

Watch here to see:

Posted on

Eating Peace: A shorter time to peace than you think

Learning new video recording technology–my message today starts with literally one or two seconds of darkness and a black and white screen….moving into color.

And isn’t that also what the message is all about.

Your movement to peace can take literally seconds, beginning with this moment slowing something deep within you down, no matter what your mind is thinking or what your feelings are.

When you slow movement and action down, you become more still, quiet, deliberate, relaxed…..peaceful. And what happens with your life is a little like what happens when Dorothy lands in Oz. Life becomes more colorful, less dramatic and serious.

A long, long time ago, I sat in a 12 Step Meeting and someone shared with me at the end this same message I speak of in the video today.

I never forgot it.

Much love, Grace

Posted on

Eating Peace: I’ve Been Doing This For Sooooo Long (Grumble)

I know I keep mentioning the Eating Peace Retreat in January in the Pacific Northwest. There are 3 spots left, and no private onsite rooms. Commuters are welcome, though.

And here’s why I talk about it.

Because I’m not only very excited for the new content and ways to share with those who attend, giving you insight into how you can take the practice of questioning your thoughts with you, in every moment (including eating)….

….but also because I know people receive what’s possible at the retreat from the neck down.

You stop staying up in that head which is yelling at you.

The mind that says things like:

“Did you see what you ate last night? What were you thinking? You did it right in front of all those people, too….have you no shame? You should fast every year in December. Rather than stuff your face. Do you know how many times you’ve done this? Yeah….too many to count. You’re pathetic.”

Ow.

Double ow.

It’s really not that funny. It’s dreadful, vicious, and nasty.

I know what it’s like to look in the mirror and immediately think “ugh” instead of “oh hello you lovely person!”

It almost doesn’t even matter what’s in the mirror, it’s a judgment, an assessment, based on deep conditioning about what you’re supposed to think of as beautiful or ugly.

But what if you can’t do it wrong?

Especially if you think you failed lately (you’re gaining weight, you’re eating a lot during the holiday season, you’re going off your food plan, you binged yesterday).

For those of you feeling extremely discouraged during December, try this for a change.

It’s called Not Fighting.

And, I’m so thrilled about the art practice I will bring into our retreat, by living this from the neck down. And movement. And being in the presence of food and eating in a peaceful way for 3.5 whole days.

Let’s do this together.

If you want the experience of disconnecting yourself from your thinking….come to the Eating Peace Retreat in January. You won’t regret it. (The mind loves regret).

You’ll love, instead.

Sign up here.

Much love,

Grace

Posted on

Eating Peace: Can you feel peaceful with inner disturbance? LOL, I know it’s weird.

(Sorry the sound is so low….dork here, not remembering to turn up the volume on the mic, so please turn up yours. Here is an imperfect video. Imperfection happens. I also have really dirty hair, no makeup whatsoever, and no script. The honesty of Eating Peace starts here. Can I be at peace with this disturbance?)

I’ve worked with several people lately, it seems, who’ve discovered the belief from way back:

“He didn’t like me” or “She didn’t love me” so I need to make sure I never get rejected again.

When someone else judges, it does hurt sometimes. You can’t deny it.

So what if, even in the middle of inner disturbance, or inner fear, pain, difficulty….

….you still could feel peace?

I know it’s kind of weird.

Feel peace with disturbance? Can those two go together?

Yes.

Is there some greater, bigger part of you able to be OK with being disturbed.

Because if you can be disturbed (even very disturbed) and notice you are OK, you are still alive, you are here, you are still standing….

….what an incredible thing to notice!!

We think it’s SO TERRIBLE to feel pain. Anything but that.

Anything but feel such grief, sorrow, rejection, anger, upset, devastation.

Who would you be without the belief you can’t get through it (especially without eating)?

Much love, Grace

Posted on

Eating Peace: the direct tie between NOT saying no….and eating

We all know it’s preferable to be assertive and say what you mean, and mean what you say….

….but for some of us, it was pretty scary to say “no” all the way back to childhood.

But here’s the good news: you’re grown up now.

You can rehearse and practice saying no to other people, and watch with amazement how it affects your relationship to eating and food.

When you learn to say “no”, you stop overeating. Really.

 

Posted on

Eating Peace: Three to Seven…the one scale you need for eating freedom

You’ve probably heard of numbers, scales, measurements and weights when it comes to solutions for eating.

I had so many numbers in my head around eating, my body and food, it was totally overwhelming….and infuriating.

Ugh.

Who wanted another number that I had to pay attention to, and feel like a failure if I didn’t? Why couldn’t I find the natural ease I knew was my birthright, when it came to eating?

Well, here is my one scale that I loved learning about (the first version I ever encountered was from Geneen Roth, thank you for your inspiration, Geneen).

Yes, this scale has numbers in it. But it’s OK. It’s supportive, expansive, based on what reality truly is. It gave my mind something to do. My mind rather appreciates numbers and measuring things.

You can use this scale, this step, to slow down and consider, as you eat.

I also give you two easy thoughts of encouragement, to help you use the scale in a way that works for you.

Much love,

Grace

Posted on

Eating Peace: When you feel hurt…what to do instead of eat

We all get our feelings hurt. It’s part of being human, and alive.

But the way I used to feel when someone hurt my feelings was desperate, ashamed, anxious to please, worried, and self-critical.

I’d also feel incredibly upset with the one who hurt me.

I’d feel angry with that person, or afraid, and equally as critical of them as I was of me.

I’ll never forget one time I felt horribly hurt.

It was my very first job after graduating from college. My boss was generally a kind man. He was my parent’s generation, and I saw him as an authority figure. He was the director of a college, and I was the undergraduate student advisor.

One day, he called me into his office, which was right next door.

“You need to stop talking so much with the students.”

I felt sick to my stomach. (Notice that phrase “sick to my stomach” about feeling hurt and criticized).

After work, I ate from the doorstep of my job all the way through the streets to my apartment.

I share today how you could view the ones who hurt you, and experience peace, instead of “sick to your stomach” by emotionally eating.

Peace,

Grace