Many of us have spent our lives studying other humans. Why did that person do that? What did she mean when she said that? What is happening when one person hates, or loves, another person? How did that war get started? What made that person do that wonderful, amazing thing?
We also study ourselves…we find ourselves quite fascinating! What do I want? How do I know I want it? What do I want to express? How do I want to interact with that person, or this person?
Many great writers and teachers talk about a little me, an egoic me, a self-centered me that has a limited point of view.
It’s like the word “ego” is icky. If my ego is in full force then it means that I am not spiritual. It means things are going WRONG.
If I am operating from an egotistical point of view, I am selfish, fearful, angry, disappointed, interested in power, attached and trying to figure out who is to blame, whether it’s me or someone else. But it is definitely someone’s FAULT. I have an enemy.
One of the most amazing things to discover, by questioning and examining painful thinking, is that there is no one to blame. By looking very carefully at my mind and my thinking process, I find there is no enemy.
This includes ME.
Some clients I work with are really hooked up to see themselves as the one to attack, the enemy, the one who needs correction or adjustment. Something happens, a tough situation occurs, and the mind goes straight to “it’s my fault”.
FIGHT IT! FIX IT! YOU DID IT WRONG!
I remember having these kinds of thoughts all the time about food and eating starting when I was a teenager. I was so sure something must be wrong with me!
I find over and over again that this little harsh place that ruminates and considers and analyzes and can’t stop thinking in a nervous or angry way about something uncomfortable….the thing we’re probably referring to as the “ego”…. is more a verb than a noun.
It just means I’m scared. I’m forgetting that I am a mysterious spirit and I have no real idea of the outcome of anything, or the deep meaning of what has occurred. I’m forgetting that all is well.
It just means I am trying to find happiness, peace, fulfillment or security and because of that troubling situation, I’m really worried and believing that there isn’t happiness, peace, fulfillment or security in this situation.
I have found that the more narrow the view we have of ourselves, thinking of ourselves as full of fault, or powerless, or hurt, the more we will experience other people or the world in a narrow way too, where we have to be very careful or really to defend ourselves.
The more we react to someone else’s “ego-centered” behavior or actions, the better the clue that we’re thinking of ourselves as victims, that it’s possible to be hurt or threatened.
I love simply questioning these thoughts, and you can do it today as well: I need to fix it, I need to change, this is bad, I lack something.
What if it isn’t true?
Because let’s face it, you know it isn’t true already. There is a viewpoint inside of you that knows all is well, all is mysterious, you already have what you need inside, you don’t have to go find it, you don’t have to fix anything really, it will work itself out, Good is still present even when things appear Bad….you are capable of such beauty and love it is beyond words.
“The fullness of life is there at every step” ~Eckhart Tolle