Grateful For The Ones Who Hurt Me

Do you ever say to yourself “If it weren’t for those mean, nasty, rude, bossy, critical, judgmental, fuming, volatile, emotional, crazy people that have been in my life, I would be having a GREAT TIME here on planet earth!!!”

Have you ever noticed how this sentiment enters…sometimes in such a subtle, quiet way?

If only those people would not have hurt me, bothered me, influenced me, attacked me…I would be OK.

If only that person hadn’t cut me off in traffic, if only that store clerk had been more cheerful, if only that ticket vendor had been faster….I would be better off than I am right now.

Walt Whitman wrote  “Have you learned the lessons only of those who admired you, and were tender with you, and stood aside for you? Have you not learned great lessons from those who braced themselves against you, and disputed passage with you?

Today as I do the Work and remember the people I’ve done the Work on I become aware that these moments of great feeling, even when full of stress and sadness and anger, have been some of the most important interactions of my life.

One of my favorite poems I share with you today:

Suppose that what you fear

Could be trapped,

And held in Paris.

Then you would have

The courage to go

Everywhere in the world.

All the directions of the compass

Open to you, except the degrees east or west

Of true north

That lead to Paris.

Still, you wouldn’t dare

Put your toes

Smack dab on the city limit line.

You’re not really willing

To stand on a mountainside

Miles away.

And watch the Paris lights

Come up at night.

Just to be on the safe side,

You decide to stay completely

Out of France.

But then danger

Seems too close

Even to those boundaries

And you feel

The timid part of you

Covering the whole globe again.

You need the kind of friend

Who learns your secret and says

“See Paris first.”

—M. Truman Cooper

Suppose the greatest friends we have are the ones who have pushed us to enter Paris, helped us get there faster perhaps, didn’t even have to know our secret.

The Universe will give you exactly what you need to face your fears, to discover yourself, including all those people who were not apparently loving and kind.

Thank you grandpa, co-worker, boss from 20 years ago, dying father, eating disorder, former husband, alcohol, absence of all money, cancer, tobacco, car accident, suicide of friend, drunk friend, porn addict man, enraged man, the person who stole my luggage…..

Much Love, Grace