I have a confession to make. I sometimes (especially the past week)
really, really believe the:
I DON’T HAVE ENOUGH TIME!!!
This thought is a whole system or way of thinking. If I’m thinking
this thought, it also means that I need to believe that I have things
I need to do that I’m not getting done.
It means I believe if I don’t get things finished, done, completed…
then bad things will happen….or at least no good things will happen.
Quite often, the reason I need more time is so that I can do things
that will GIVE me MORE MONEY, or MORE PLEASURE.
Several years ago I was in the worst place in my life financially. I thought
I might actually lose my house to foreclosure. I had no idea where the
next mortgage payment would come from, and it was due in two days!
PANIC, SADNESS, HORROR.
I knew I needed some help to keep my mind on track, answering the
four simple and profound questions. I knew that since I was really scared,
I might not answer them clearly by myself.
I hired an experienced facilitator of The Work. It was the last money I had.
This wonderful facilitator and dear woman heard all my thoughts about
failing financially. I did The Work on the thought “I need to PUSH to be
successful”.
I knew what I meant by “push”. It meant to stay up late, rise up early,
work-work-work, make phone calls, write emails, show up in person
to meetings, never say No, and to never back down.
It’s like being a real tough guy with fists tightly clenched. No sense of humor,
no relaxation. Steam coming out of the ears!!!
I got to question four. Who would I really be without the thought “I need to
PUSH to be successful”?? What would I do if I didn’t believe that thought?
How would I live my life without that thought?
My whole entire body relaxed. I had this day to enjoy. I noticed that I loved
working with clients. I had amazing friends. I had an incredible family. I noticed
that I thought about how I could move into my mother’s basement, even though I was a grown woman with two kids, recently divorced. Even though I thought that would be embarrassing, I sat with that image in my mind of moving my stuff into my mother’s basement and didn’t reject it.
I found the turnaround “I need to LET GO to be successful”. Could this really
be possible? I didn’t seem like it. But I stayed with the process and found
real examples of how letting go might lead to success.
When I got off the phone with my facilitator, I called my mother. We had one of the best, most wonderful conversations we had in years about what it would be like if I
moved in.
I called my sisters just to connect with them and let them know the truth of what was going on.
I called some very dear friends and talked with them about all my options,
really listened to their suggestions, and waited.
I did nothing, unless it felt really loving (like making those phone calls).
One of my sisters called back and said she would lend me enough money for
three months of expenses. I would need to pay her back in a year. Interest free.
I made that mortgage payment. I still live in my house. But I could move in
with my mother any time and know that it would be a fantastic
adventure in getting to live with her again after 25 years…..but it doesn’t seem
that it will go that way, at least not for now.
If you’d like to look deeply at some of your harshest thoughts about earning
money and receiving income, paying bills, and what it takes to do it, then join the
Wednesday afternoon teleclass that starts in two weeks!
To letting go and pushing less in your life,
Grace