Tag: eating disorders

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Eating Peace: Three to Seven…the one scale you need for eating freedom

You’ve probably heard of numbers, scales, measurements and weights when it comes to solutions for eating.

I had so many numbers in my head around eating, my body and food, it was totally overwhelming….and infuriating.

Ugh.

Who wanted another number that I had to pay attention to, and feel like a failure if I didn’t? Why couldn’t I find the natural ease I knew was my birthright, when it came to eating?

Well, here is my one scale that I loved learning about (the first version I ever encountered was from Geneen Roth, thank you for your inspiration, Geneen).

Yes, this scale has numbers in it. But it’s OK. It’s supportive, expansive, based on what reality truly is. It gave my mind something to do. My mind rather appreciates numbers and measuring things.

You can use this scale, this step, to slow down and consider, as you eat.

I also give you two easy thoughts of encouragement, to help you use the scale in a way that works for you.

Much love,

Grace

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Acting crazy with compulsion? There’s one other alternative….only one

Tired of the suffering cycle? Nothing left to try but Inquiry.
Tired of the suffering cycle? Nothing left to try…except Inquiry.

Today I can’t wait to be at East West Bookstore in Seattle doing a little mini 3 hour workshop on eating, body image and our relationship to food…..and how to enter peace instead of war.

Doing The Work is of course my favorite tool and method of inquiry for working with stressful beliefs, and naturally inquiry is what we’ll be doing in the workshop.

HOWEVER.

When it comes to addiction, fear, compulsive behavior of any kind….

….when we’re doing things we hate ourselves for later, feeling needy, feeling upset, feeling angry, feeling like we want to escape or attack (the perfect pain points for addictive or compulsive behavior)….

….then it’s often hard to find WHAT it is you’re troubled by?

What would make me troubled enough to overeat when I don’t really want to, or smoke, or drink, or start house-cleaning, or surf the internet, or try to find someone to hook up with?

The thing is, moving into your compulsive favorite thing to do, if you have one (most people do, some are more destructive than others) is a REACTION to a belief you’re thinking.

You’ve already bought the belief.

You already assume it’s true, and it’s frightening, aggravating, infuriating, and it feels hopeless.

So you do the behavior instead (in my case, I ate, and sometimes drank or smoked cigarettes or over-exercised).

It kind of works for a little bit, when you’re hunting down the substance and caught in the energy of your compulsive pattern.

When I went into the addictive behavior, I would not be aware any more of what was bothering me, and instead, I’d be thinking about eating, the food I would buy, the taste, smell and feeling of it as I devoured it. The anticipation was all-consuming and overwhelming. It was mesmerizing. Obsessive. Nothing else existed hardly, except getting my fix.

With such a wild energy taking over, the energy we’re calling “addictive”, it is actually a bit tricky and difficult to put on the brakes and see what’s hidden.

Why?

Because what’s hidden is SO PAINFUL.

I’d rather not take a look at it. Do I have to? Can’t I just eat instead? Or get stoned? Or run 10 miles and beat my body into a pulp of exhaustion? Or have sex in a bathroom with a stranger?

You can. I did.

But it wasn’t ultimately satisfying. It was shameful, embarrassing, I felt horrible later, and it kept me on the cycle I refer to as CRIME – GUILT – PUNISHMENT.

You committed a crime, you’re guilty, you must be punished. You feel horrible and gross, you vow never to do it again, and then….

….the background underground haunted old pain starts to wake up, since you’re not busy hating yourself as much, and it starts to get louder.

Sooner or later, when it gets too loud to tolerate, you need to do the thing again, the thing that helps you forget about it.

Let me tell you, I am so happy not to be in that severe cycle anymore I kiss the ground with gratitude.

It doesn’t mean I don’t do it in smaller, much more subtle doses. For example, I’ve noticed a tendency to compulsively try to be pleasing to people so they’ll relax, calm down, like me, or become safer for me. This compulsion to be in communication with others in a pleasing way shows up sometimes by me withholding what I really want, or not saying what’s really true. (We’ll talk about that another day).

Here’s what’s important for stopping a cycle of compulsive thinking, and then compulsive acting, that zips you away from seeing what you ultimately really WANT to see, even if it’s painful.

First, decide you want to see what’s going on, what’s hidden. Part of you already DOES want to see it….encourage that part.

Then, notice these two options.

Old Way, Defensive Way, Conditioned Way (called “Believing Your Thoughts”):

  1. You feel something uncomfortable. It’s stressful.
  2. You feel scared you did something wrong, or you’re being rejected or you’re a bad person.
  3. You quick move to the other person or people involved.They’re doing it wrong….not just you. They might be the primary ones to blame.
  4. Run away from those people, they’re bad, OR, Fight those people, they’re bad.
  5. Deal with your anxiety, or the sense you’ve had a close call with something frightening by _____ (fill in the blank with your favorite compulsion: eat, drink, sex, smoke, read, internet, spend)
  6. Forget about it all for awhile. Relief. Oblivion.

New Way, Loving Way, Freedom Way (called “Questioning Your Thoughts”):

  1. You feel something. It’s stressful.
  2. You feel scared you’re doing something wrong, or you’re being rejected, or you’re a bad person—or that someone else is.
  3. Pause. Write down your thoughts. What’s disturbing you?
  4. Do The Work and answer the four questions, innquiring about yourself with curiosity and self-care, and compassion.
  5. Notice that you’re OK without doing anything. See if you can BE. Use your speedy fast mind and your imagination to wonder what it would be like without your story? What if you’re not seeing the whole picture, or the true picture?
  6. Clearly see options for yourself you didn’t see before. Notice how dealing with your internal world is what you always wanted, not to run away from it. Notice how brilliant you’ve been so far with your compulsions, and now, you’re becoming aware of a more expansive view. You are safe.
When you’re finished moving through the steps in the old way, the old pattern, it’s just a matter of time until you DO your compulsive behavior again.
When you’re finished moving through the steps in the new, alternative way, you often take action. You go back to the person you’re most afraid of, and ask them any questions perhaps. You say “no” or you say “yes” with much greater clarity. You no longer feel confusion. You ask for what you need more directly. You get help.
Which way seems like the better one, the more interesting way, the more fun way?
I really had no other option if I wanted to stay alive, than to take the second road, even though part of me wanted to Not Look and thought it was easier following the first road.
It wasn’t.
It was hell.
Who would you be with inquiry, instead of believing your stressful stories?
Caring far more about my thinking, than what I’m eating or not eating, doing or not doing.
“You’re either believing your thoughts, or you’re questioning them.There’s no other choice.” ~ Byron Katie

Much love, Grace

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Eating Peace: The Work of Byron Katie on Appearance

Recently in the Eating Peace Core Teleclass I guided everyone through filling out a Judge Your Body worksheet.

The thing about worksheets on the body, is if you pause for two seconds and think about the body, the criticism or worry or judgments of it are…..well….infinite.

For the purposes of eating peace, we look in a concentrated way at appearance and all the associations we make with needing to look a certain way and how the mind concludes that we’re doing something wrong, we’re ugly, we need to fix our eating or exercise program. Obviously.

Astonishing how quickly the mind directs attention to solving the problem. Let’s fix this! Go! Go! Go!

It races off to find a solution without even taking a look at the original concept: this is wrong.

Now, here’s where it can get even more interesting.

Take a dive into WHY you need this body to look NOT like this, but another way, and actually allow yourself to see what it is you truly want.

Why did I want a thin body (or, to be attractive)? What would it give me? What would I have, if I had that Other Better Body?

It’s OK to admit your desires without embarrassment or shame.

What do you see your mind has locked in on, without discernment, without question, without inquiring, believing the assumption hook-line-and-sinker?

You need to be thin (thinner). You are fat. That cellulite is ugly. That belly is disgusting. I need these to change because other people think these same thoughts about me when they see me. And then, I am rejected. I am not picked. I am alone. I am abandoned.

Is any of this true?

Yes, oh yes, oh yes. It would be better to have thin, smooth, flat, long, tight, strong thighs. Says the mind, the eyeballs looking with the view of “corrective lenses”.

But are you absolutely sure what you’re thinking is accurate and true?

I always found I was so convinced people would like me, find me appealing, attractive, interesting. Almost like my survival depended on it. I would be abandoned without looking amazing. My mom, my dad, my grandparents all agreed. I heard them say things when I was young. They even talked about themselves negatively. I can tell this thin-thing is important. And I want their love!

There’s a book for this, written by a sage and wise woman Byron Katie: “I Need Your Love–Is That True?”

People in the Eating Peace Core class said….but….wait a second.

If I don’t think I’m ugly, or fat, or need to do something….

….then I will never, ever change!!

It’s true, in my experience, that I’ve been drawn to look at my mind and my beliefs because of noticing that when I thought them, I suffered. I would perhaps never have done The Work without suffering, I don’t know for sure—I do see that conflict, sadness, agony, hatred, judgment and criticism felt painful, and I wanted to stop feeling like it was all unbearable, intolerable, not worth living through.

But here’s a great question:

Are you SURE you need to hate yourself, or your body, in order to assist it to change? Are you sure you need to judge, despise, and criticize yourself the second you see your thighs in a window (that’s how fast it happens, when you’re conditioned deeply)?

Are you sure you actually need what you think a great body would get you (their love and adoration)?

I thought a great body would get me romance, acceptance, attention, maybe even fame.

News Flash: it didn’t.

How do you react when you believe your body size and shape, if it were “right”, would bring you happiness?

You make sure you do everything humanly possible to keep your body in “admirable” shape. Without addressing your deepest fears and suffering, or conflicted thoughts. It’s a lot of work.

So who would you be without your belief system about thinness, fatness, needing to limit eating, needing to control yourself, needing to fix who you really are?

Hold very still as you contemplate this answer.

Who is asking this question? Who is doing the looking at the body? Have you noticed the body doesn’t look back at you? It’s just there, being itself. YOU are the one who is looking. An observer.

Can you look with the eyes of a three-year old who doesn’t have all these judgments piled on yet? How about with the eyes of someone loving, supportive, kind, attentive, and gentle? How does God look at this body? How does Reality see these thighs? Can you look, just for a second, without your bitter judgment?

You CAN. Because it’s just as possible for you as the critical way. And it feels much better. It feels secure, patient, solid, unconditional.

How do you think your eating will change more easily…..if you HATE the way you look, or LOVE the way you look?

Watch my video telling what happened for me when I did The Work on my ugly, cellulite-filled, repulsive thighs.

Are you sure if you think you’re beautiful, no matter how imperfect, and accepting….that you’ll never be thin?

Well you might as well at least try seeing with different eyes. Note to self: looking with criticism and hatred hasn’t worked so far to make you change.

Right?

Love, Grace

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Eating Peace: what IS eating peace? should I get a food plan?

Eating Peace Core teleclass is starting next week. Mondays for 8 weeks. 5:30-7:00 pm Pacific Time.
And what IS eating peace anyway? What does it look like?
I know you understand the word “peace” and what it feels like. Peace is soft, kind, supportive, loving, empty and nourishing at the same time. It’s the absence of war.
Eating Peace is the absence of debate, argument, attack, violence or fighting with food or the act of eating. I used to fight with every thought I had about eating and my weight or my body.
What I was really fighting with, was my experience of my life and reality. I could not see much peace in reality, so there wasn’t much peace in my eating either.
Listen here as I share some of what eating peace is like, now, and can be for you, too. Everyone has this birthright. You are born able to eat peacefully.
If you’ve had questions about food plan, and getting one….there are many ways you can land on what really works for you. I share an introduction to this in the video today.
If you want to know more about the Eating Peace Core Teleclass, you can read all about it and sign up here ($395 for 8 weeks, and please write to me if you absolutely cannot afford the fee, I am always open to considering options with you, if you deeply want to participate). Click HERE to read about the course, and register (and there’s a short summary of the modules below, too).

Much love, Grace
Eating Peace Core TeleClass:
Module One: (weeks one and two) Underlying Beliefs that fuel eating off-balance and the Food Plan. Should you follow a food plan, or not? I’ll share when it’s a good idea, and when not. I’ll also share the most common underlying beliefs I’ve found that create eating havoc. You’ll send me your peaceful food plan and I’ll share mine with you.
Module Two: (weeks three and four) Judging Bodies. What are your thoughts about how you should look, or what those other people look like? What do you think of other perfect bodies? We’ll explore why we
Module Three: (weeks five and six) Who Taught You? Here we look at what we innocently learned from those around us, whether family of origin or society or both. We learn to disconnect our actions from what we thought was “truth” about eating.
Module Four: (weeks seven and eight) Peace Beyond Beliefs. We look even deeper at the underlying beliefs, including what we’re thinking there’s Not Enough or Too Much of in our lives that isn’t food.
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Eating Peace: Healing Eating Wars With Mind, Feelings, Body, Spirit

If you got the chance to watch my webinar on many in’s and out’s of healing eating troubles, thank you.
I was going through the webinar the other day and realized at the end, I talk about my upcoming online Eating Peace 3 month program….and the dates are for last autumn.
I did teach the course last autumn!
But now….it’s February!
And many of you have written me to ask….well, heck, are you teaching the online class again soon and how do I sign up?
That would be YES.
Registration actually opens tomorrow, on Valentine’s Day. I’ll send a quick, short email with details in the morning with how to register.
But such a comprehensive program may not be right for you, right now. That’s OK. It’s a pretty intensive, full program, with weekly webinars and additional weekly live calls for questioning stressful thoughts using The Work of Byron Katie. There’s only one week off between each module and we go all the way until the very end of May!
Click through to my website to read all the details about the entire program and how it works right HERE….
….but meanwhile….
….here’s a video where I expand on the areas I studied, all of which came together in a big interconnected way for healing:
Mind, Feelings, Body and Spirit.
In the video in each area, I give you a really vital key you can use for changing your relationship with food and eating.
Start to use these tools and principles.
As you change your inner world when it comes to food and eating, you help change the experience of eating from agony to joy.
When you feel the joy of being alive, having a body, and eating, you spread the joy just by being yourself.
Then more and more people can become free from self-condemnation when it comes to food, or compulsion with food, or terrible violent thoughts and behaviors with food.
“There is something better than endlessly pushing the boulder of obsession up the mountain: putting it down. And if you are willing to refrain from dieting and needing an instant solution, and if you want to use your relationship with food as the unexpected path, you will discover that God has been here all along….In each moment of kindness you lavish upon your breaking heart or the size of your thighs, with each breath you take–God has been here. She is you.” ~ Geneen Roth
 
Enjoy! And leave a comment, I love to hear how these ideas work in your life:

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Eating Peace- The Imperfect Dance of Eating Struggles

Everyone feels alone from time to time, but the heaviness of the belief running through your mind “I Am All Alone” can be torturous and frightening.

Whenever I check, I find it isn’t true though.

I just can’t ever PROVE that I’m all alone, no matter how much I kick and scream that its true!

I can get all riled up, frustrated, shake my fist at the universe, feel separate, be depressed at my circumstances, or my eating issues or addictive behavior….

….but I still can’t prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that I am all by myself, completely on my own, in a vacuum of dark outer space with no earth or life in sight.

I mean, there’s stuff all over the place in this room! Have you noticed?

If you’ve felt all alone, join me today to investigate this a little, and notice the imperfection in this dance….

….the imperfection in food, having a body, eating, hunger, fullness, exercise, the people around, health, career, relationship, money, you name it…..

….it’s not perfect. (Kinda like this video, ha ha!)

Eating Peace With Grace * When You Feel All Alone *
Eating Peace With Grace * When You Feel All Alone *
Much love,
Grace

P.S. Eating Peace Workshop is filling this year. I love the people who are attending. Reserve your spot now, it’s 6 weeks away only. Click HERE.

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Eating Peace – Something you can do if you’re overwhelmed

Earlier this morning the Eating Peace group met for our weekly practice in questioning thoughts related to cravings, eating, body image and food.
Some participants have been struggling.
It’s a season of sweets. Contacting friends and family. Being with people. Having big feelings.
Here’s something you can do that’s so simple, you might dismiss it as being ineffective or boring or dorky or new-agey.
But it isn’t. Not really.
It requires…..doing nothing.
Check it out here. And remember, if you’re feeling discouraged, this will pass. I mean it.
Lots of love to you on this wonderful day.
Eating Peace With Grace 12-24-2014 Inner You's
Eating Peace With Grace 12-24-2014 Inner You’s
Much love,
Grace

P.S. Eating Peace In Person 3-Day Workshop Is Coming! This is open to everyone wanting freedom from eating issues that feel painful. February 6-8, 2015 $297. For more information about housing, location, and details (updated frequently) or to register click HERE.

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Eating Peace Video #3 – Three Treasures To Help You End Emotional Eating

The Tao Te Ching says that there are three treasures it has to teach: Simplicity, Patience and Compassion.

You can use these to heal your life with food.

Except….don’t use them to taunt yourself, criticize how not-good-enough you are, or how you’re falling short of the desired goal.

In this video today, I explain how to avoid the tendency to be extreme, which happens a lot with compulsive or emotional eating, and be TRULY simple, patient and compassionate with yourself.

ALSO, if you want a whole conglomeration of many of the tools, medicine and healing items I’ve used to recover completely from compulsive and emotional eating, or thinking about food….

….then head over to the webinar recording I did live last Wednesday.

You may have watched already…but if you haven’t, give it a shot.

It was fun!

Here’s one note I received from someone who attended the webinar:

Dear Grace,
It was fantastic.
Clear, thorough, an in-depth simplicity, useful.
The potter in me speaking found the images of raw clay–bowls, throwing–particularly beautiful.
Thank you and with love, J

I loved the questions and feedback I received, and I’m here to serve you if you seek help in this area. It is my deepest commitment and joy to be on the helping end of this whole eating issue, someone who is assisting in the healing of all of us, rather than fueling the fire of dis-ease around eating.

To access the webinar recording, CLICK HERE. You’ll enter your email, but you won’t be double-subscribed to this list, don’t worry. Look for the webinar link in your Inbox.

I’d love your feedback on what’s confusing, what is difficult to implement, what works for you.

“Some say that my teaching is nonsense. Others call it lofty but impractical. But to those who have looked inside themselves, this nonsense makes perfect sense. And to those who put it into practice, this loftiness has roots that go deep.” ~ Tao Te Ching #67

After the 12 week Eating Peace Program gets rolling on Sunday morning, I’ll be sending out news, a video, or some tip or insight to you all once a week. As of this moment, there are a few spots available in Eating Peace, so click HERE or write if you’re interested.

It’s gonna be awesome.

You can heal your relationship with food, no matter how far gone you think you are.

Much love,

Grace

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Not For Everyone, But Maybe For You: A Private, Special Retreat

I am thrilled and jumping up and down (on the inside)!

Because a dream I’ve had that others have suggested to me before, something I couldn’t imagine only a few years ago, is now coming into reality this fall.

For five+ years now, I’ve been working with people who hate their bodies, people who struggle with eating, people upset by aging, their flaws, their appearance, a difficult spouse, trying times with kids, and those frightened about money and lack of support.

As one of my favorite authors and teachers, Geneen Roth, summarizes it….

….it’s the suffering of Not Enough.

Every single workshop or class offering inquiry to those struggling with food and eating, pain or illness has offered profound teaching for me personally.

I’ve been learning how I can transmit the information I have of freedom from the prison of worrying about food, trusting my appetites, accepting this body and its flaws, allowing money to come and go freely, letting go of anxiety, feeling grateful and feeling deeply beautiful….

….to you.

I’ve loved my own journey every step of the way (well, ok, I didn’t exactly LOVE it every step of the way) and living this ever-expanding life with you means the world to me.

You may know where I came from, but if you don’t, it’s kind of embarrassing and ugly.

At least that’s how I used to feel.

I was anxious about overeating, upset when too hungry, and never, ever satisfied with the way my body looked. I went on huge binges, stuffing my face with everything in sight. I pushed myself hard with exercise.

I lost almost all my assets and money, and never had a satisfying career. My relationships were somewhat rocky, I got divorced. I yelled at my kids.

I felt flawed.

The stressful beliefs began when I was a kid, and surfaced more deeply when I was in high school. Then they got more sophisticated and I became a nutrition expert (without a degree), and bulimic, and life felt frighteningly unpredictable.

Ugh.

What I really, really wanted was total freedom from thinking about my life in such a painful way.

It’s agonizing to imagine that something is wrong with you, with your body, your mind, your feelings, and that you’re a failure when it comes to being here on planet earth.

Then, on top of feeling unacceptable, I would criticize myself for being self-critical.

I should know better! I should be nicer to myself! I’m acting like a teenager! I need to get a grip!

You can’t win, with this kind of loop-dee-loop thinking. It’s like bouncing back and forth between a rock and a hard place, like a ping pong ball on steroids, never getting any relief.

I sought many modalities of healing and all of them were excellent.

Individual therapy, group therapy, The Course in Miracles, meditation, The Work of Byron Katie, retreats, counseling, training, spiritual teachings, twelve steps.

And now I’m ready to combine them into core teachings for healing the mind’s attack on the body, on other people, on food, on money, on life, and end that war.

I find there are six areas of stressful beliefs, some that begin when you’re only a child, that contribute deeply to Not Enough-ness.

You can question them all, and shift.

They are responsible for immense suffering.

These areas are:

  • If I don’t look acceptable, people won’t like me. If people don’t like me, I’ll suffer. Therefore, find out what acceptable is, and look like that.
  • My feelings are not to be trusted, or shown to others. They upset people.
  • I am not safe in many situations. The world (full of people) is a chaotic, disturbing or terrifying place.
  • My thinking is not my friend.
  • There are many activities that can change my feelings about situations that are troubling…like eating, smoking, drinking wine, cleaning, getting a crush on someone. But they all hurt in the end.
  • I am my body, my body defines who I am.
Boy howdy, when your feelings are not trustworthy, and your thinking is not trustworthy, and the world is not trustworthy….then you are up sh*t creek, philosophically speaking.
But there is a way out, entirely, from that madness.
You can question what you learned was true, from your earliest memories all the way to now.

You can alter your beliefs, your mind, your feelings….by changing what creates discomfort for you in your own belief system.

In other words, if you don’t like the way a thought makes you feel, you can question it and find out if it’s really, really true.

When I was in my twenties, I felt desperate to find answers. I had some fantastic guidance, but I wish I had found a clear resource to look at my inner thoughts and what I was making things mean in my life.

Now, I don’t even have to “work” at it.

Don’t get me wrong, my mind still has troubling thoughts. Just the other day I saw my 53 year old wrinkles around my eyes and let out a sigh.

But then I chuckled.

And if I don’t, I’ve got The Work.

Who would you be without the belief that you are Not Enough, that people won’t like you, that you need to be liked, that there is Not Enough money, Not Enough attention, that you must protect yourself from a hard world?

Kind of amazing to consider, right?

Which brings me to why I’m so excited….

I’m offering a very deep focused immersion into self-inquiry, spiritual inquiry, The Work and experiential exercises I’ve found to be amazing to address the sense of feeling lack, disappointment, anger, fear, discouragement…..

…..to a very small group of eight people.

The Serene, Powerful, Loved, Ecstatic, Enough Retreat.

If you enroll in this unique once-in-a-lifetime retreat, offered November 10-13, 2014, you will look at the nooks and crannies where you have believed in Not Enoughness.

You will look at who you really are, what is genuinely true, and what’s gotten in the way of your freedom.

You will have access to the nurturing, care, enough-ness, beauty and wisdom that lives inside of you, that’s been here all along even through your self-defeating behaviors.

You can put down trying to solve the problem of life, money, kids, spouses, food and weight, and build your contact with unconditional love.

We’ll question painful messages of fear and hurt, of thinking there is something wrong with you.

You’ll open to truly imagining there isn’t.

I would love to support you to put down the battle, the project of self-improvement forever….and I know you can’t stop your thoughts, and you can’t control them.

(Control never works in the end).

But you can turn your attention to other truths, you can stop proving that your stressful thoughts are true, and prove the peaceful ones instead.

This is not your average, in-house retreat where I have people come to my cottage for a day or two. This particular format will appeal and be possible for only a very few.

We will be in luxuriously cared for, with special guest appearances via skype or in-person by teachers who are experts in spiritual inquiry (and maybe you’ve heard of them).

I’ve asked several important guides, and it is yet unknown who will be able to connect with us for sure. It will be a surprise!

You will be able to ask personal questions and have direct contact with them.

This experience will be different than large meditation and educational retreats attended by hundreds. You will not contend with crowds.

And I’ll offer you my own experience and strength, and my compassionate facilitation.

“The Way of Liberation is a call to action; it is something you do. It is a doing that will undo you absolutely. If you do not do the teaching, if you do not study and apply it fearlessly, it cannot effect any transformation. The Way of Liberation is not a belief system; it is something to be put into practice.” ~ Adyashanti

You can turn all of your beliefs around, and live a life of completely, utterly, unconditionally enough at every turn, around every corner, deep inside of you.

You can start practicing it now, by turning the troubling beliefs to the opposite:

  • I can look the way I look, people love me. If people don’t like me, I’ll won’t suffer. Being myself is acceptable.
  • My feelings are to be acknowledged, honored, and shown to others. They don’t upset people. Or me.
  • I am safe in every situation. The world (full of people) is a mysterious, magical, curious and loving place.
  • Thinking is my friend.
  • There are no activities that can change my feelings about situations that are troubling…except self-inquiry, self-love, allowing everything and everyone to be as they are.
  • I am not my body, my body cannot define who I am. My body is inside of me, as is everything else.
At the Serene, Powerful, Loved, Ecstatic, Enough Retreat

you will stay in five-star award-winning accommodation Willows Lodge in Woodinville, Washington. Our group will be fully catered for every meal. We will work with the abundance of beauty and food as part of our inquiry practice, and what is enough.

For many others who will not be able to do this due to cost…. ….have no fear, I’ll be presenting my teleclasses this summer starting soon in July, and YOI (Year of Inquiry) in September…and I am working on pre-recorded classes you can take on your own.

(Eating Peace will be the first class people can take online on their own, stay tuned).

“We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?’ Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.” ~ Marianne Williamson

Letting yourself experience this four-day retreat of deep self-inquiry, The Work, presence, now….you may discover a new light within that is both serene and ecstatic, when you know how loved you are that no situation, person, place or thing can change this.

And who knows what can happen from there.

The Serene, Powerful, Loved, Ecstatic, Enough Retreat is by application only.

If you are interested, please click this link. I will respond to all applications on a first-come, first-serve basis. Please apply by July 4th, independence day in the US. Your payment will be due upon your acceptance into the program and confirms your participation.

Thank you universe for this incredible opportunity to be a guide along your journey.

Wherever you are, and whoever you are, you are love.

“Love is action.” ~ Byron Katie

Much love, Grace

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The Scale And Your Worth

The Horrible Food Wonderful Food teleclass is underway right now. One dear participant mentioned something to me that I have heard many times before.

I sometimes suggest that people give up their bathroom scales….you know, the ones that calculate body weight. She said, “I could never give up my scale, I have to weigh myself twice a day.”

Measuring things can be incredibly powerful. Documenting, looking, examining, surveying, gathering data. These are invaluable for studying information, analyzing. Especially when you are totally uncertain about how something works.

It’s so amazing to have ways to track something over time that may not be entirely conscious. Like lets say a scientist is studying a brand new species of insect. She could open her computer and write down every hour what is happening, as she watches through a camera the insect’s behaviors in its habitat.

But if the scientist has gathered information for a year, and has tracked the whole lifecycle of the insects several times….but then can’t stop documenting that insect’s behavior…it could be a little weird, right?

The problem with the scale situation is of course not the scale, but the lack of deep inner trust around eating and weight. The belief for me was “I do not understand my weight fluctuation, therefore, I must measure it constantly….otherwise, I might grow heavier and not even realize it!!!”

I used to feel extremely anxious if I didn’t have access to a scale. And then, I felt extremely anxious if I DID have access to a scale.

The thought I had way back when I had a scale was that if I saw the number was too high, it would alarm me and push me towards weight-loss strategies. If I saw the number was low, then I could feel happy and proud for being a “good” weight.

I believed I needed a measuring device, that I couldn’t feel deeply what was right for me on the inside.

Last week when I was at the hospital in the surgery pavilion, before I was sent to change my clothes into the hospital gown and before the kind nurse put in the IV into the back of my hand, they had me go to the scale.

I watched the electronic bright red numbers speeding by and balancing out to the exact ounce. I remembered the way I used to feel in this waiting half-second “Oh I hope it’s going to land on a good weight and give me good news!”

It was about the exact same number I’ve been mostly for my adult life, but for a flash I thought “isn’t that amazing”.

Still the same. Without trying for it, wanting it, setting it as a goal, or caring about it. Amazing, because I once thought I needed to run this whole food, eating, weight situation!

I remembered when I used to want the scale to say that number, when I had an eating disorder and my weight fluctuated up and down a bit.

I used to strive for that number, wish for that number. Just tell me what to eat so I can always have that number.

Then I threw away my scale, because I used it too often and for the wrong reasons: to feel good or feel bad. I let the scale tell me what kind of person I was. I didn’t want that from a piece of metal that measured weight. I wanted to be good no matter what.

Is it true that the amount you weigh means you are good, or bad? Worthy or unworthy? Lovable or Not Lovable? Attractive or Unattractive?

Long ago, I found the answer was “NO”. Even though I had been acting like it was “YES”.

Who was I when I believed that my weight had something to do with my character, my lovableness, my worthiness, my power, my strength, my attractiveness?

Horribly obsessed with weight. Angry. Hungry. Overeating. Undereating. Calculating, planning and trying to control food.

Jumping on the scale every day, and at the gym, and in other places where scales were sitting around.

Who was I without the thoughts that without a scale, I can’t be trusted, that my weight MEANS good/bad, lovable/repulsive, worthy/unattractive?

Open to another way. Open to not knowing. Relaxing, resting at a most deep level, slowing down. Not planning.

Taking a deep breath. Eating and noticing the flavors, the beauty, the texture.

Practicing feeling Joy, Quiet and Peace in the presence of food, or mirrors, or scales.

Living the turnaround. Turning towards the light, the inner light.  

“Enlightenment is to be totally Un-Self-Concious, Un-Ego-Conscious. It’s to be free of self-reflection. Isn’t it the biggest bain on humanity to be always reflecting on oneself? ‘How am I doing, I like it, I hate it, this is hard, my life’s difficult’. Constant reflection…..I’ve never met anybody who was addicted to anything who was ever able to get beyond it until they really saw and came to grips with ‘this is not working’.” ~ Adyashanti

Much love, Grace

P.S. 8 week teleclass on food/eating starts again on January 15, and the Year of Inquiry for the Addictive Mind YOI starts on January 10th.