Yesterday morning the Horrible Food Wonderful Food telegroup met for the second time in our series of 8.
Even though I have taught that teleclass almost 20 times now, and of course people question this common stressful belief I’m about to tell you…I find it fascinating to explore.
I need to lose weight.
Now, before you think “that’s not me, I can’t relate to this stressful belief!” take a moment to think about ANYTHING you repeatedly tell yourself you need to “lose” or “get rid of”.
It’s a mega-list to that Voice that is hyper-critical.
- I need to get rid of my household junk
- I need to lose my low confidence
- I need to clean out my closets
- I need to get rid of my anxiety
- I need to get rid of this friend/partner/boss/employee
- I need to lose my anger
- I need to lose my scarcity or my negative thinking
The burden of having these thoughts, and feeling like the item/energy/result is NOT going away, is very “weighty”.
And it seems like thinking these thoughts, and believing them whole-heartedly, does not make it happen.
So let’s look at something you think you need to lose, and see if it’s absolutely true.
Is it? Are you absolutely positive you need to lose weight? Or something else?
Wow, maybe you need to lose that sickness, or that injured hamstring (d-oh!), or this head cold, or that nasty neighbor.
It is soooo true! I need to lose it!
Life would be much better if I lost it!
OK, so you’re positive you need to lose weight, or that other thing or person.
How do you react when you believe that thought?
Plans, plans, plans of attack for getting rid of this thing. I’ll put a lock on the refrigerator, I’ll go on a diet, I’ll feel depressed and sad, I’ll avoid contacting that person, I’ll quit my job, I’ll see if I can find someone who can help me get rid of it.
I’ll go to the ends of the earth trying.
When I believe the thought, I feel tense, afraid, very nervous, angry. I keep thinking about how I need to lose it. I think about it over and over. I make a new plan.
But what a wonderful question: who would you be without the thought that you need to lose this thing, lose this weight, this person, this injury, this hardship, this situation?
Wow.
Yesterday, people in the telegroup were imagining not having the thought that they need to lose weight for the first time since childhood.
They said “I would be free.” “I would have so much TIME!” “I would feel open, curious, lighter, exposed.” “I wouldn’t censor myself!” “I would be connected to my true nature.”
If I noticed I need to lose some clutter in my closet, but without a depressed or unhappy feeling…I would start to go through the stuff there, and put some of it in boxes for Goodwill.
If I noticed I need to lose some of my anger, or negative thinking, or someone I’m not enjoying or afraid of….I do The Work, I find out more deeply what bothers me about them or it, that I think I need to lose it.
What would I really have, if I lost it? Peace? Courage? Happiness?
Am I sure I couldn’t have that right now, even though this thing, this sickness, this person, this weight…is here?
Turning the thought around, we sat with the liberating idea: I don’t need to lose weight. MY THINKING needs to lose weight.
“It makes life extremely difficult when you call what you’re doing ‘wrong’, ‘stupid’, or ‘unnecessary’–when you belittle it after it has been done. To compare what you’ve done to what you shoud have done, to think that you need to measure up to some external standard, is a difficult path. What is, is always the way it’s supposed to be right now…” ~ Byron Katie
Much love,
Grace