Dear Inquirers,
The word “independence” by definition in the dictionary says it means: not controlled or influenced by others, not subject to another’s authority, not influenced by the thoughts of others, not influenced by the action of others, not dependent upon something else for existence or operation, not relying on others for aid or support.
IMPOSSIBLE!
How could I possibly be not influenced by other people, or by actions or ideas I’ve heard. How could I possibly not rely on anything for support or aid?
I mean, really. There is not one thing that I do, think, or have that was built without influence from others.
My perception of the world is influenced deeply by all those people around me who are existing, doing their thing, talking, behaving, breathing, living.
My very existence in this body is dependent on some force of life running itself that I have no idea how it works, or why, or what really keeps it going. The heart beats, the brain thinks, the breath goes in and out.
We get so interested in independence….and it doesn’t really exist!
Something sounds really wonderful about it, though. If I were entirely independent, beyond all influence and control, what would I have?
The imagined state of total independence and why it sounds GOOD:
- I do whatever I want
- I don’t need anyone or anything
- I don’t have to work
- I’m thriving, I have everything I want
- I can say or think whatever occurs to me
- I feel free
- I come, I go as I wish
- I’m OK with everything, I don’t mind what happens
The interesting thing is, with doing The Work and questioning only what is being thought….this state of “independence” becomes more and more true.
And what’s funny is, with this so-called independence, there is more and more surrender to the condition of absolutely dependence on Reality, God, Source, What Is.
More and more dependence on going with the flow, not fighting against anything, giving up having it MY way. More and more being able to ask in any moment “Am I sure it needs to go the way I think it should go? Or can I be fine with how it is, can I find the humor?”
Less and less holding anyone or anything else responsible for influencing me, controlling me, causing me pain.
The whole thing is a big paradox; independent sounds good, dependent sounds bad….but really it’s all about what we’re independent from or dependent on.
Life shows us what we’re still trying to get independent from. Something happens, someone bugs us, and POW, we get all mad or scared.
The fabulous news is that we get to choose. It doesn’t seem like it sometimes, it seems like we’re just riding the PAIN TRAIN of reacting against or for something.
But we do get to choose peace….we have this much independence (and maybe that’s the only independence).
If peace is really what you want, then you will choose peace. If peace mattered to you more than anything else and if you truly knew yourself to be spirit rather than a little me, you would remain nonreactive and absolutely alert when confronted with challenging people or situations. You would immediately accept the situation and thus become one with it rather than separate yourself from it. ~Eckhart Tolle
The incredible thing is, when you become “one” with the situation or the person you are resisting, when you see the beauty in them, or you stop fighting the situation (like cancer, no money, someone dying) then oddly enough, there is Independence.
And there is nothing you can do about it.