Tag: emotional eating

Posted on

Are You Too Quiet Sometimes? Speaking Up PLUS Eating Peace Webinar

Filled with regret
I should have spoken up

Today, I put together a free webinar. (Finishing touches still underway, it’ll be raw and unedited and live, tomorrow at 5 pm Pacific Time).

The webinar is: Five Brutal Beliefs to Question if you Want Eating Peace. 

But really, anyone can consider these beliefs and take them to inquiry.

You don’t have to have ever had a single compulsive bite of food.

Most people have experienced a compulsive bite of thought, however.

What do I mean by compulsive thought?

The dictionary defines compulsion as riveting, fascinating, compelling, gripping, engrossing, enthralling, captivating, irresistible, uncontrollable, overwhelming, urgent, obsessive.

Have you ever noticed your thoughts have to have this kind of energy before you actually DO something compulsive?

It’s like this: I have a thought and I believe it’s real and true.

It happens in two milliseconds flat.

Even though it makes me feel anxious, sad, angry, or unhappy….

….I’m a believer.

It doesn’t cross my mind to question whether or not the idea was true, or to question my conclusions, or the stressful things I’m imagining.

Nope, I simply decided without question what that person said about me, or what happened, or what will happen, and what I’m feeling, are threatening.

What’s happening isn’t good.

Help! Help! Help!

(Cut to chicken running around with head cut off).

Most people when they get scared, and they don’t know how to, or remember to, inquire into their mind running the show….

….then begin to do everything possible to CALM DOWN.

Compulsion, addiction, temporary insanity, craving, urges, driven, wild, frenzied, wanting, needy, desperate, grabbing, crying, wailing, screaming, self-pity….

….oh boy.

The drama! The excitement!

And I know….the extreme suffering.

We can joke around about the experience of compulsive behavior, but it’s not really that funny if you’re in the middle of it.

I can even look back at my past life 30 years ago and feel sad that it was so hard.

(But I did question once “I ruined and lost my twenties” and found it was not true).

So who would you be without believing your mind is telling the truth?

I know this is an enormously huge question, and might make some a bit skittish.

(How will I know what’s true if I don’t have a mind? How will I protect myself if I don’t believe what I’m thinking? How will I be sane, or safe, if I don’t believe my stories?)

But it’s sooooo interesting and wonderful and exciting to imagine the freedom.

To notice you ARE the freedom.

Today, as it happens sometimes, not only was an individual client questioning thoughts about speaking up, but the Year of Inquiry group was as well.

We looked at the concept: “she shouldn’t have said that in front of everyone”.

I could find a situation immediately where a co-worker spoke up to our boss during a meeting, saying something about me I felt very embarrassed about….”Grace comes in late all the time, and makes lots of mistakes.”

She shouldn’t have said that.

I remember the feeling I had. The red hot face, the shame, the absolute rage at her later on.
Inside my head I was saying “I HATE HER!!!”
And to my friends, too.
Who would I be without the belief that co-worker so long ago shouldn’t have accused me, shouldn’t have said that?
Noticing how very safe I was, and supported. Noticing how kind our supervisor was, and clear. Noticing I never got fired, or reprimanded badly, and I got a raise later on and cleaned up my schedule and my too-speedy work.
She called me, in fact, to a more confident, clear, directed version of ME.
She should have said that.
 
Woah. True.
Turning the thought around again: I shouldn’t have said that.
 
The inquirer on our group call said “Well, I didn’t say anything!” So her examples were more about what she said to others, or said in her own mind, or said to herself.
But then we found a really juicy other turnaround, that very much fit in this particular situation: I shouldn’t have stayed quiet.
 
Who was believing, immediately, without question, that she was wrong, or being shamed, or being charged with a crime, or stupid, or hated?
That was ME.
The fear was immediate and burned deeply…..I am not good enough, she doesn’t like me, something terrible is going to happen, I can’t speak up.
None of these things were ever said out loud, at all.
Ever.
Just a few simple other words (which in my case were completely accurate).
If you’re the type of person who is too quiet, sometimes….
….you may want to explore why.
Perhaps it really WAS safer to stay quiet and not speak up (in which case, good for you for making a wise choice).
But if you’re still worried when someone confronts you, you may want to do some deep inquiring, and see if what you’re believing is actually true.
To practice living this turnaround today, I got this idea to do the webinar I mentioned.
It may not be perfect, I may fall over my words, I might not get my point across clearly, you might think my voice is dorky, the pictures or slides may not make total sense….
….but that’s what you risk when you speak up.
You risk having it go very badly (chuckling now).
Turning it all around in the most remarkable way to imagine the future without suffering:
I am willing to speak up and someone saying I shouldn’t have.
I look forward to speaking up and someone saying I shouldn’t have.
It could definitely happen.
“‘But Katie, someone might say, ‘isn’t fear biological? Isn’t it necessary for the fight-or-flight response? I can see not being afraid of a growling dog, but what if you were in an airplane that was going down–wouldn’t you be very scared?’ Here’s my answer: ‘Does your body have a fight-or-flight response when you see a rope lying on the path ahead of you? Absolutely not–that would be crazy. Only if you imagine that the rope is a snake does your heart start pounding. It’s your thoughts that scare you into flight-or-flight–not reality.”~ Byron Katie in 1000 Names For Joy
If you’d like to join my webinar tomorrow, Wednesday at 5 pm Pacific Time, then click this link here to register (kinda proud of my art work creation webinar page registration, so much fun to learn).
Click Here To Register for Eating Peace (Thinking Peace) webinar.
Watch my introduction here:
Much Love,

Grace

Room for plenty more still, starting Friday, with 3 days of Eating Peace. Clean up your inside thoughts, clean up your eating. October 9-11, 2015. For more information, click here.

 

Posted on

Eating Peace: Why Would Being Happy About Yourself Right Now Be BAD For You?

There are a lot of ideas out there about how you should love yourself and be kind to yourself and care well for yourself, in order to be happy.

But rarely do we deeply consider why we would have this idea that being unhappy with oneself is a good thing.

What if you were happy with yourself as you are, at this weight, with your kind of eating patterns (no matter how terrible they’ve felt)?

What if the way you have been with food has been the best you can do, the best you’ve known how to do, until now?

What if instead of kicking yourself for eating, you could ask yourself why being happy right now would be bad for you?

Then really answer the question from the bottom of your heart, explore, notice what you believe, give yourself some patient consideration.

Posted on

Eating Peace: One Question You Can Ask Yourself….Just One

In the middle of the Eating Peace Online Course (which is underway right now) people almost always reach a moment after the initial period of hopefulness….

….the reality that they are right here, with themselves, and no one can really come in and fix their eating issues for them.

I mean, you can’t hire a bodyguard or a personal assistant, or me, to walk around with you 24/7.

You’ll run up into a moment again where you want to eat, where you’re overcome with the urge and craving to stuff your face, or start graze-eating at night, or simply keep eating when you are not hungry….or you’ll decide to starve yourself and skip eating altogether.

I don’t care if you have huge binge-eating episodes and your disordered eating or starving is extreme (that was me) or if you battle over nighttime snacking….

….the shadows will come to the surface and you’ll have to be with them.

Here’s something you can do that’s very very simple (but not so easy, I know) if you get super confused, hopeless, whiney or feel like a gigantic victim.

Watch here to see the question I ask. See if you can answer honestly.

You may be surprised.

Lots of peace,
Grace
P.S. Notice this is coming out Thursday, instead of Wednesday? For those of you who did….Technology broke down yesterday. All fixed now!
Posted on

Eating Peace: A Crazy Tool You Have Within You But You May Not Know It

Are you someone who doesn’t really go for the woo-woo solutions to real life problems?

Well…this tool for changing your relationship with eating can sound a little cray-cray.

But believe me, I’m not that crazy (only crazy in a good way).

This tool is genuine, powerful, and used by many cultures, religions, therapeutic modalities and processes of emotional healing for centuries.

It’s in you already, you just may need to develop it a little, spending a little more time using your imagination for love, not hate (primarily for yourself).

See how I did it here. Leave a comment to let me know how this tool works for you–I love hearing from you and reading your comments.

Love, Grace

Posted on

Eating Peace: What’s Going On When You Eat Beyond Full?

When you eat beyond fullness….you might attack yourself for doing it later.

Have you noticed yelling at yourself doesn’t really help?

Let’s study a little more closely the moments when you eat beyond fullness.

I’ve found three things could be going on…..and they are three beliefs you can question and change.

Lots of Eating Peace,

Grace

Posted on

Eating Peace: One Key Hidden Mistaken Belief That Feeds Compulsion

There is one really powerful, deep, intense and VERY stressful belief system that often remains hidden when it comes to food and eating….

….or any compulsive behavior.

But it’s a biggie for those who eat compulsively or secretly.

It’s called Attack of The Self.

Watch here and find out how I handle it, and work with this system of thinking the self is wrong, bad, missing something, or stupid to have this problem called overeating, or binge-eating, or compulsive self-starvation.

I’d love to hear your comments.

Much love, and lots of peace,

Grace

 

Posted on

Eating Peace: Tell The Truth….The Way To Heal

When I was much younger, I had the good fortune to enter a therapy group for adults with no special “problem”.

It was simply a therapeutic group for healing, understanding, and…

…well…therapy.

The group was led by two wonderful, experienced therapists (a man and a woman who were colleagues) and whose intention was to help facilitate clarity in peoples’ lives.

I felt like the weirdo with the eating issues.

Ugh.

But when I actually admitted my concerns, my behaviors and what I went through out loud to the group, I got a big surprise.

Absolute acceptance.

People could even relate–even though they didn’t have anything close to an eating disorder or eating concerns.

They related on a human level of suffering, and felt compassion and loving kindness towards me.

I couldn’t have received this without telling the truth about my situation, my experiences of fear and anxiety, and my sadness and disappointment.

My advice now? Tell the truth.

It’s the way out of your world of secrets. And its much more fun.

Lots of peace,
Grace
Posted on

Eating Peace: What Do You Really Really Want? (If You’re Not Hungry)

Although there may be many complex feelings, memories and emotions occurring in the moment you want to eat (when you aren’t hungry) or starve yourself (when you ARE hungry but you’re afraid of eating)…..

…..one area of imbalance is letting yourself know what you REALLY, REALLY want!

If it’s not food, what do you do now?

What is this life, anyway?

How are you moved to operate?

The key, I have found, is tapping into what you want….whether its love, success, connection, honesty, intimate contact with others, creativity, relaxation, rest, sleep, fun, humor, abundance, safety, satisfaction.

What do you need, really, if it isn’t food?

What if you could move towards that….wouldn’t this feel more exciting, more fun and more joyful?

You’d know you were on your way.

Watch today’s Eating Peace video and let me know what you discover:

Lots of peace,

Grace

Posted on

Eating Peace: Going Deeper Into The Moment You Reach For Food

Studying your experience when you feel compulsive, or overwhelmed with the urge to eat, or like you’re in a fist fight with craving….

….can lead to absolutely wonderful insight.

You think it can’t.

You might say “I already know what I need to do about cravings or compulsive urges to eat….I need to shut them down and control myself!”

But no.

I noticed this never, ever worked. Not in the long run.

So without fighting the moment or feeling repulsed about looking, let’s slow down and study what’s happening, in slow motion.

After you watch, let me know in the comments what you notice about your own craving moments. What else was going on, before you felt like eating? What were you feeling? What didn’t you like about your situation?

Lots of Peace, Grace