emotional eating Archives

January 19, 2016

There’s Not Enough (participants, time, money, love)!

Question your belief in Not Enough....discover the truth. — Question your belief in Not Enough….discover the truth.

I’m offering the three day Eating Peace retreat this coming Friday, Saturday and Sunday. This is a time to completely unplug from your usual ways with food and eating.

This morning I noticed a funny thought float through.

There aren’t enough people enrolled.

Not Enough.

The Not Enoughs are back, alive and well. The belief in Not Enough of something…..anything.

It’s such a common human idea.

Not enough money, not enough time, not enough love, not enough pleasure, not enough peace, not enough accomplishment.

You might have noticed this thought, even if you’ve never eaten a bite of anything compulsively.

As I sat in meditation on this upcoming retreat, something I always do before I’m about to teach, I felt the sweetness of looking forward to whoever shows up, and feeling the joy and inspiration of investigating thought….and eating very slowly together.

Yes, we practice mindful eating at the retreat.

And people attend this retreat who don’t even have intense “eating” issues, it’s so amazing to slow down in this basic human experience called eating.

In the retreat, I stay with everyone every step of the way, including when you’re eating midday and in the evening. Every bite is eaten together.

Something almost none of us do on a daily basis.

Something I never even imagined I would one day do in a retreat, where I’m the facilitator!!!

Sometimes, when people take this Eating Peace retreat, people report a life-changing HALT, almost like the brakes were put on, around the wild eating cycle of constant compulsive thinking and behavior with food.

Wild cycles of compulsive eating…..

…..that’s certainly what it used to be like for me, thirty years ago.

If someone had offered a live workshop on eating peace at the time, I would have thrown myself into it as soon as possible. I had nothing like that available to me. What was available was therapy (I am grateful and deeply appreciative to all the therapists who worked with me). I also found a group called Beyond Dieting that met weekly about freedom from compulsive thinking about food. There were books to read. There were 12 Step Meetings.

But nothing just for crazed eaters like me that would help stop the insanity for a whole day or more.

I had to go to an inpatient hospital program for that. And I did.

But not before a LOT of suffering.

When I was about 25, I moved. Again.

I had lived in dorm rooms, apartments, house-shares and lots of temporary type housing (interspersed by staying at my parent’s home) since I was 18.

But that year when I was 25 after finally graduating from college, I actually moved a long distance away, going from Washington to Colorado.

I’ll never forget the silent drive for 3 days, camping in my own tent by myself, and feeling the combined fear and excitement of being on the road and entirely free and uncertain.

It’s a wild, strange feeling.

I remember driving through Wyoming and seeing the mountains rise up in sharp, dramatic peaks. I was on small backroads for a certain length of time and I pulled my little car over and stopped and got out and stood in the wind.

A herd of antelope moved off in the distance between me, and the mountains. The wind blew loudly. It was completely silent. Not one other car in sight. Brown grass blowing chaotically like water all around.

I was on my way to Denver. I was on my way into a new life chapter.

For awhile, when I arrived, I had an excited momentum of newness surrounding me. I knew what to do each day.

Project: Get A Job. Get A Place To Live.

Basics like that can keep you very busy and concentrated.

No time for the haunting sense of failure or need to overeat or binge-eat, or smoke or drink (which were low-level things I used occasionally also at the time).

The horrible behavior had been binge-eating. I hated it and fought with it and really did not want to experience it ever again. I had seen therapists for it and learned a lot.

That was OVER now!

But after about six months of things settling down, having a basic job at the University of Denver and my own room in a beautiful Victorian house-share with 4 other people….

….one day my visitor appeared again.

The mean, bored, critical one who was also quite frightened and felt like a victim with a chip on her shoulder and wanted to eat.

She was a part of me. And she was back.

Uh-oh.

I thought I had obliterated her from the face of the earth. And locked the door and thrown away the key.

But here she was returning after my “geographical cure” of moving to a brand new city, starting to make new friends, take new classes, be a new person.

Dang it.

She was kind of angry (wouldn’t you be?) that I had ignored her and put her on hold for so long.

I found myself opening the cupboards of the kitchen in this beautiful house I lived in on Elizabeth Street, and seeing what my roommates had for food.

I stared at their boxes of cereal, or loaves of bread, or chunks of cheese on other peoples’ designated shelves in the refrigerator.

I shaved off a tiny slice, trying to make it so it wasn’t noticed, of banana bread from someone’s package.

My mind started to kick in…..

…..if I just eat a little bite from everyone’s food, they won’t notice.

I did that.

And guess what?

It wasn’t enough.

I wanted more.

I got into my car, in snow 8 inches deep on the ground in my first Denver winter, and started to drive.

I call this, now, the Searching Trance.

I would turn into a fast food restaurant, order something that sounded normal, pay for it through the cold roll down window, and start to eat it the minute I drove away.

Driving and eating and looking for the next place to buy something to eat.

My mind would spin with what sounded good and what I wasn’t allowed and where I could find it.

Is it here? Is it there? Is it around that corner?

Quick, quick, quick, quick.

The adrenaline was pumping and there was a sense of almost being about to get caught, and sneaking everything I wasn’t allowed to eat (to think).

My mind was on an escape mission.

I ate and ate from one end of town to the other, and headed back to my home.

Inside, thankfully, only one of my housemates was home and I managed to smile a big fake smile, say hello, and speed past them to head upstairs to my room. And the bathroom where I would turn on the shower so nobody could hear me, and make myself throw up food I had just eaten.

Then….I could rest.

That’s the thing about that cycle….I could finally rest and I would sleep very deeply almost like I got knocked over the head.

Nowadays I look back at that suffering and realize if only I could have discovered a way to stop, lie down, and relax….

….I could have gotten there without the food.

But I didn’t know how.

I so badly wanted to rest my MIND and my thinking, and it never worked to lock it up or try to control the thoughts by suppressing them and pushing them away or down or out of sight.

Eventually, still in Denver, I checked myself in to the hospital treatment program for addiction and eating disorders and lived there for an entire month.

Fortunately for me, my health insurance through my job at the university paid almost in full for the entire program, although it was crazy expensive.

It was a huge help for me to live my life daily without the binge-eating, and not as a geographical cure…..

…..instead I was surrounded by people who knew how I suffered.

Every hour of every day was filled with exercises, groups, activities, relaxation, therapy, conversations and intense sharing of the deep darkness I held in my heart about life.

I had to face the most sad and frustrating events from my past, and look at ways to handle my thoughts without needing or using eating or any other substances to “help” me get through life.

Now, the honest truth is…..

…..I engaged in every single addictive behavior again after a certain period of time back in “regular” life on the street after my inpatient experience.

But that was when I got really scared again and didn’t know how to be with my own feelings and thoughts.

I had no way to inquire at the time.

I just “believed” and went with it. I thought what I was thinking was true.

However, that immersion into time without binge-eating or using anything, ever, to escape gave me some solid ground to walk on.

I knew I was going to be OK.

I knew I could return to practicing the belief in “enough”.

I got myself into a group, I went to meetings, I found ways to get support and not panic with the deep belief in Not Enough.

Who would you be without your thought in Not Enough of something?

Are you sure you need it?

Are you sure it’s not possible for you to get what you need?

Are you sure you can’t handle this moment easily, without that thing you believe is missing or that you don’t have enough of?

Whether it’s money, time, love, safety or success…..

…..what if you turned the thought around, after you contemplate being without it altogether?

I DO have Enough.

That thing I don’t have enough of?

What if it needs more of ME?

More of my kindness, acceptance, attention, willingness to hang out with it.

That mean nasty one who used to come visit and want to binge-eat?

I notice she still shows up sometimes, although she never cares about eating and hasn’t binged in several decades…..

…..because she doesn’t need to scream that loudly anymore.

She’s softer. She’s not so dark and dreary.

She’s more easily amused, and her mind changes much more quickly.

I let her sit at the table with me for as long as she wants, and she can tell me all about what I’m missing and what she believes isn’t present enough in my life.

I give myself a lot of her……

……because she is me.

Because the ultimate turnaround is:

I need more of myself, in this situation.

I need to attend to me, love me, enjoy me, notice me, care for me, be in love with me, dance with me, eat with me, hug me, feel the enoughness of being alive even as life changes and moves every day.

When I feel this way, I love everyone and everything I come into contact with….

….whether it’s a small workshop full of inquirers, or a big one with 100 participants in it.

I’ve had both, and it’s a marvel either way.

This retreat has room, apparently, for more.

And it is perfectly enough as is.

Can you find it, in your life?

In my world, I can trust that exactly the people who show up are the ones who are supposed to be here, and no more or no less.

If you think you’re possibly supposed to be with me this weekend, hit reply, or join now, or call me 206-650-1230. To register, click HERE.

And meanwhile, no matter who or where you are….

….question your belief that you don’t have enough of something.

It doesn’t mean you SHOULD go without. You don’t know what will happen, with inquiry. It’s just an adventure in exploring beliefs.

You might be amazed at what you find.

“The way out of suffering is to be engaged in the process of ending suffering. The process is the outcome. In Life, the transformation occurs in the process.” ~ Cheri Huber in I Don’t Want To I Don’t Feel Like It

“The Master stays behind; that is why she is ahead. She is detached from all things; that is why she is one with them. Because she has let go of herself, she is perfectly fulfilled.” ~ Tao Te Ching #7

Much love,

Grace

December 18, 2015

Is it a stressful story, or a wishing rock?

without your stressful story, maybe all you have is a beautiful wishing rock

You might be able to tell, there’s a theme lately going on in Grace Notes or Eating Peace videos on youtube.

Retreat.

On the inside.

But you may not be so happy about that theme if you feel like you’re not doing it right.

If you feel like you’re completely pissed off, agitated, anxious or depressed. Or on attack mode (the opposite of retreat) running forward trying to get it handled, or fixed, or done forever.

I get it.

The other day I thought a stream of thoughts, all of which were along the same vein….

….like the way there are veins in the old granite rock up near Ross Lake in the wilderness, driving distance from my home.

Up near Ross Lake, huge slabs of rock are exposed, with a highway cutting through the edge that winds up through the mountains.

College and high school classes go there for the observation and learning about geology of the region, where the under-layers of earth pushed and cracked to the surface and became exposed.

Huge veins of deep or light color run through the rock.

Like the pebbles you see on beaches that have one line running through the pebble that’s different from the rest of the rock, making the pebble appear to have a ring around it.

Since I was little, the kids all said “pick up this kind of pebble, make a wish, and throw it over your left shoulder into the water….your wish will come true.”

Wishing rocks.

Who said so?

Maybe someone many generations back, or far, far back into so many years ago we don’t even remember.

That one thread running through the rock was so solid, so beautiful, so permanent, so colorful.

As I was noticing a thread of thinking running through my own mind, I suddenly had the vision of one of these pebbles….

….or a whole side of a mountain, like near Ross Lake, that had a thick vein of color running through it in massive proportion.

My thoughts were thick and tight and strong, and repetitive, like this vein.

Sigh.

They went like this:

Life is kind of dull, like the weather. I don’t feel like (fill in the blank). Maybe I should get a different regular normal job (I always love when this thought comes in). How about a cup of coffee? Yeah, that’s it. It’s not possible to be on retreat at all times. It’s too boring, too slow, and not practical. There are too many things I want to do in life, and I need to clean. And pay bills. My cottage is too small. The carpet needs vacuuming. Nothing ever works out perfectly.

Yeah.

It was that self-piteous. Piss. Moan.

It continued.

My clients and students who are angry right now, or having a hard time, especially those who experience a contentious relationship with eating?

There’s no solution. They’re right. Life is hard. Holidays are difficult. Family is troubling. People are complicated. Addiction is not easy to overcome. Compulsion is too strong to address. It’s too hard to change one’s story.

And while we’re at it, can I mention that I hate shopping?

BEEEEEEEPPPPPP.

Did you hear the loud horn?

It was the kind that is built to scare away bears in the wilderness.

You hear it?

It means “stop now”.

Because these kinds of thoughts are strong, compelling and they have babies faster than you can say Jack Robinson.

(Which, by the way, do you know where the saying comes from “faster than you can say Jack Robinson?” From the 1600s in England. Talk about passing along ancient impressive history and old stories through phrases, like the line in the hard rock lasting for generations into the future, even if we no longer know who Jack Robinson is anymore).

Pause.

Even though everything is happening.

Even though you are getting on and off airplanes, or wishing you could and you aren’t.

Even though you are upset with the weather, and worried about global warming, and its not snowing where you live anymore, or snowing too much.

Even though you were fired, or your love of you life divorced you. Even though you lost your hearing, or your health. Even though you can’t read every amazing classic book ever written. Even though you don’t know what to get your kid for Christmas. Even though you’re sick of decorations all around you when you do not even celebrate this holiday. Even though you ate too many cookies at the office party.

Just stop.

Do you notice how you react when you think it’s hopeless?

Do you notice what happens in your body when you believe the world is a dangerous place, or disappointing?

Ow.

When I believe these kinds of thoughts, there’s a crushing weight of self-criticism, responsibility, grief.

So who would you be without these thoughts?

Without beliefs that pack tightly together and create a line inside a rock?

What if you just caught that chatter that says “I’m sick of it” and wonder who you are without the belief?

Because there are already huge parts of you without the belief.

My pinky finger on my right hand, for example, doesn’t have any of these thoughts.

I also didn’t have these thoughts yesterday when curling up in bed to go to sleep after a productive day.

I didn’t have the thought when walking into the gym, or listening to one of my best friend’s messages about her own thoughts with love and acceptance.

Or when I noticed the beauty of red car tail lights filling the night streets. I’m not kidding.

You don’t even really have to work so incredibly hard to wonder what it would be like to not have these kinds of solid, ancient thoughts.

Because there is already a great part of you, far bigger than the energy of this thinking, that doesn’t have any of these thoughts.

Who are YOU anyway, who believes it has stressful thoughts?

Are you sure YOU have them?

Where are they?

I notice they are only an energy, zipping through.

I notice they only come into vein-formation if I begin to follow them, and believe them, and take them seriously.

The other day a student wrote to me “I feel like breaking something!”

“How do you know you’re supposed to be angry? You are!” ~ Byron Katie to me when asking her about my own anger and how to get rid of it.

Just because I think it, I feel it, doesn’t mean I AM IT.

Turning the thoughts around….

Life is full of movement, like the weather. I do feel like (fill in the blank). I am not the one in charge. Nothing is required. There are no solutions to “life”. It IS possible to be on retreat at all times, it’s already actually happening, I don’t have to try. My thoughts are profuse, and that’s fun. Only my mental noise and mind believes them, not the rest of me. I will never be “done”. My mind is too small, my mind needs vacuuming. Everything works out perfectly.

Pause a moment longer, now that you’ve been pausing to consider your thoughts, and not taking them seriously.

Take a very deep breath.

Relax your entire body. Hold still a moment.

Even if your mind yells and makes noise and comments and gestures and demands you get up and do something….

…..notice how you do not have to act like it’s true.

“Practice not doing, and everything will fall into place.” ~ Tao Te Ching #3

Much love,

Grace

December 2, 2015

Eating Peace: Ending shame is maybe the greatest key to ending compulsion…here’s how

When I was a kid, I felt ashamed and embarrassed to feel just about anything.

Ecstasy and attraction (wanting) something, anger or fury, sadness or self-pity.

The shame of feeling these, and wanting to cover up that I felt them, I took with me into adulthood.

The problem is, if you feel ashamed to feel, you have a MAJOR BLOCKADE going on with reality.

Because you are a feeling person.

Watch here to find out how to allow all feelings to be present and come into the light.

November 25, 2015

Anticipating What Should or Shouldn’t Happen? Do This.

When you’re about to gather with other people for a meal….

….let’s say Thanksgiving, as a random example….

….before the event actually happens what do you notice in that head of yours, as you feel some anxiety, worry, sadness, wonder, confusion?

Any stressful feeling at all….

….what’s the thought behind it?

What’s the SHOULD or SHOULD NOT behind the feeling?

When you spend some time with that, here’s what you might notice.

(It’s really interesting, even moving and beautiful).

November 18, 2015

Eating Peace: A crazy strange idea (that works)–stop trying

Have you ever stopped to notice, that every single time you reach towards something when you feel uncomfortable….

….food, drink, smoke, internet, activity-you-promised-not-to-do….

….you’re trying to feel OK.

But you don’t feel OK.

You’re trying to.

So you put something in your mouth and eat it, and you forget about how you weren’t feeling OK for awhile.

You move on.

Other stuff happens.

Now, you’re drunk, or stuffed, or exhausted, or your money is gone, or you feel guilty, or you feel horrible pain.

That thing you didn’t feel OK about is long gone.

Now, you have worse problems you have to attend to, and work on, and self-hate to deal with on top.

What if….when you got the first inkling of Not-OK about anything, you didn’t try to get away from it or fix it or do something about it?

Believe me, I know it’s weird.

It’s not what is usually offered, or suggested, or what your mind will chatter away about with many possible ideas to solve the problem.

Not solving the problem is VERY strange for the mind.

But try it on. What if you didn’t try to be OK?

Stop Trying to be OK….see what happens

Peace,

Grace

November 12, 2015

Eating Peace: How do you end eating battles?

I received a powerful question the other day about ending eating arguments.

These would be those ones inside your own head.

Eat it! Don’t eat it! I’ll eat it! You shouldn’t eat it! Stop eating it! You ate it! You’re wrong! This sucks! You’re fat! You’ll GET fat! You’ll die of a disease! I can’t! I can! I need more! I need less! Too much! Not enough!

Those eating wars, fights, arguments, concerns, worries that happen on the inside of you.

The person asked me….

….”If I’ve tried everything, and I mean EVERYTHING under the sun known to humankind, to stop being out of balance with eating, food, my weight, my obsessive thoughts….

….what could I possibly have missed?

Why would I want to take any of your programs?”

She went on to tell me she is 52 years old, and spent a lifetime working on this issue.

She began at age 8 when her mom and a doctor put her on a diet (taking a pill and restricting her food).

Like so many of us smart, educated, well-read people, she also knew practically enough to have a degree in nutritional science (no offense to those who actually have it, I know it’s expert work).

She had been to Overeater’s Anonymous and Weight Watchers, and Jenny Craig, and Fat Camps, and done low carb and raw diet (she actually enjoyed it quite a bit, but went off it one day).

She had studied the 12 steps deeply enough to attend AA meetings without feeling like an outsider even though she didn’t think of herself as an alcoholic. She could relate to “addict”.

She had also engaged in therapy with someone she trusted, to study her own emotional experience around eating.

But she still ate too much, and ate the “wrong” things.

She always failed.

What else was there left to do?

She asked me.

So.

What’s my honest answer?

Just Stop…..and get mega tons of support as you do it.

Stop trying to know, or find the answer, or do it all alone….and make THAT a practice in itself.

Then I shared with her a turning point for me that occurred with two things colliding together around the same time.

A commitment to no longer hurt myself. And if I did, I would keep walking the path of Not Hurting Myself. This was stoppingfor me.
If I thought I couldn’t stand it, or my love for myself was threatened (by over-eating, or under-eating) I would be absolutely and completely vulnerable and honest. I would reveal my humanness. I would reveal my shame (if I had it). I would ask for help, if that’s what was required. I would do my part. I would hold still, all alone, and wait for someone to come help, if that was required.

I know these are two pretty huge and gigantic, profound stands.

But they aren’t really.

The short versions could look like this:

Stop before you break the dish
Cry out for help (knowing it’s there) and shout, “I’m wanting to break the dish, help me!”

Notice.

There is no plan for what the outcome is, in either one of these energies.

No set idea for which way it will go.

No ideal weight, no special result, no serious rules to follow.

Except:

Stop hurting yourself,
See what’s really true.

To get to that inner place of what I like to call Open Hands (no fighting) feels very hard.

At least it appears to be hard.

It appears to require some kind of intention, or ability to achieve it.

But is that true?

Are you sure?

Are you sure you need to find these things, and you’ve lost them? Or you came into this world with them missing?

Are you sure you’ve tried absolutely everything, and it’s completely hopeless?

Because I felt that way hundreds of times, as I look back on my experience of raging eating pain…..

…..but I’m still here.

I’m not only here, I’m writing about healing from eating. I’m living in my 25^th year since the last binge-eating episode. I am not destroying anything with eating, or trying to destroy or change something.

My life, however, looks very normal and not that exciting or unusual, when it comes to food and eating.

For example, the other day, I felt like eating ice cream and it was pretty late at night.

We had some kind of chocolate chip flavor in our freezer. I took a bite after dishing it out in a pretty little crystal bowl.

I tasted it.

Not that good.

I opened up the fridge and found chocolate syrup in a container on the door, I didn’t even know we had it in there.

I put it on the ice cream, remembering childhood days of this same canned syrup and ice cream and peanut butter.

But it still didn’t taste that great.

So I ate another bite, as if checking, but then rinsed it into the sink.

Slowly.

It wasn’t a sudden smack of “NO! I won’t! OMG!”

It was just….oh. Ha ha.

Almost like a little mini attempt for something, then discovery of the truth.

It’s not even good. I don’t like the taste in my mouth. Maybe I like the texture and the coolness and gooey-ness, but not the actual taste.

There was no willpower or controlling the ice cream necessary.

I realized I was quite thirsty, and very tired.

What I really wanted, was to drink a big huge glass of water, put away the project I had been working on, and go to sleep.

What I really wanted was to feel the absolute quiet of this moment, at 11:00 at night, at the end of a huge day with many clients and creativity and plans for an upcoming retreat on December 12th.

What I really knew was true, was that nothing was required, and I could have what I wanted instantly….now.

Silence.

Rest.

So how do we do it?

What would that even look like, in a program of study like Eating Peace?

What it looks like is practicing together, which is amazing, and enlightening, and supportive.

Just like people in the medical field practice first aid, or emergency procedures, by repeatedly having fire drills and role-playing.

Rehearsing.

When we’re joined in a group together we practice:

stopping what we’re doing that doesn’t work and loving ourselves as we already are, and
asking for help if we think we can’t, hearing what others think, sharing

I find, when gathered with one or more people other than myself who are intent upon understanding the joy of silence, of knowing the mystery of oneself (like on a meditation retreat)….

….then I can return to the “regular” world of life and I’m more aware than ever of the silence and peace in doing the laundry, working with others, typing, answering phone calls, shopping at the grocery store, playing music, picking up kids from school.

Or eating.

That’s what Eating Peace is all about.

It’s really Thinking Peace, Feeling Peace, Living Peace.

I know….we aren’t always in the middle of whatever this idea of pure “peace” actually looks like, right?

(Except we are).

So we’re making friends with every feeling, every thought, every encounter we have that doesn’t seem friendly and peaceful.

The ones where food becomes an enemy, or our own minds become our foes.

We’re practicing the feelings of safety, the thoughts of openness, the activities of gentleness and love, the awareness of feeling powerful and clear.

We’re wondering and practicing and rehearsing and feeling what it might be like to be people who are capable of landing and being at peace.

Even with eating.

Because we are capable of it.

Not all of us realize it yet.

We get to really see clearly what the barriers are to peace in our heads, the blocks to freely acting on our own behalf, or to opening up to the help from the universe on this topic.

I do not know how long it will take for anyone to truly discover eating peace.

But what I do know, is that anyone can.

I created Eating Peace as a 3 month program (and then a 3 day retreat as well) to support people who want to investigate eating wars once and for all, and see what’s happening internally that makes eating so troubling.

How do we end eating arguments?

You stop believing your thoughts, and your feelings that drive you to be weird with food.

How do we do that?

Love yourself enough to take a look at what is.

Stop eating out of emotions, feelings, desperation, anger, or sadness.

Share, be honest, tell the truth, slow down.

Amazingly…..it works.

Next week, we begin the very thorough Eating Peace Online program again.

As always, it’s updated and improved (how could it not be updated, as life continues to unfold).

It’s my deepest intention to inspire both myself and you as we remember how to return to experience peace with food.

If you’re wondering how the program actually works, here are the basics:

Tuesdays are Live Presentation Days. You listen, you watch a slide show I’ve put together on all the ways I’ve discovered to interrupt the pattern of thinking and feeling that leads to eating out of balance.

Presentations are 9-10:30 am Pacific Time, and you can just as easily watch the recording. If you participate live, there is no talking-you do it all via your computer and write to me during the live 90 minutes to share your responses, discoveries and feedback. You can ask questions, too.

Wednesdays are inquiry days. We do The Work of Byron Katie, a magnificent way to clearly identify the weird things we’ve learned about the religion of eating, and we dissolve these beliefs through questioning them.

Wednesday inquiry sessions are also 9-10:30 am Pacific Time. For these sessions, you CAN talk if you like (I love it if you do) but you can also listen without speaking.

The exact dates of this exploration of the world of eating are below.

We move through four powerful modules: Thoughts, Feelings, Body, Spirit.

Three sessions for every module, three weeks for every module.

Twelve weeks in total. It’s more than three whole months of support, learning, sharing, watching.

You’ll have exercises and practices that are fun, fascinating and full of curiosity as you live your days noticing and accessing your imagination around eating, food and your body image.

You can do them all, or not. Your choice.

You’ll also be invited to Stop.

Stop overeating, stop undereating, stop believing your thinking (question it instead), stop trying to change your feelings into something better all the time.

If you falter or fail, you’ll still be loved, included, accepted and congratulated for coming back. The only requirement for participating is your desire to participate, your desire for eating peace.

I’m sending out this email today because I realized something the other day, when the wonderful woman asked me why she should sign up for Eating Peace?

I have not shared what it’s really all about.

So now I’m sharing with you, so you get the opportunity at least to decide if you want to investigate in a deeper, more profound way than perhaps you ever have before, and to see what it’s like if you Just Stop.

(No matter how much that freaks you out).

If you don’t stop, you’re still welcome.

I’m in Seattle and I can’t keep you from eating, or not eating, but I can offer you the stepping stones through the darks woods, and what I found worked most beautifully.

Module One: Thinking. (We start with the mind).

ALWAYS 9-10:30 am Pacific Time (check your time zone HERE).

11/17 (Weds 11/18 The Work of Byron Katie)
11/24 (Weds 11/25 The Work of Byron Katie)
12/1 (Weds 12/2 The Work)

Module Two: Feelings (the power of feeling bad, or good)

12/15 (12/16 The Work)
12/22 (12/23 The Work)
12/28 Monday Presentation instead of Tuesday

Module Three: Body (loving this body, tending this body)

1/12 (1/13 The Work)
1/19 (1/20 The Work)
1/26 (1/27 The Work)

Module Four: Spirit (practicing being with your mystery)

2/2 (2/4 The Work)
2/9 (2/10 The Work)
2/16 (2/17 The Work)

Everyone in the program has my text, my email, and a 9-1-1 solo session to use any time between now and June 1, 2016. Plus a secret private facebook group for sharing insights.

Even if you do NOT join this program, or any future program, you can begin to watch, take in, notice when you do NOT want to stop and when you do NOT want to share (and keep secrets).

You can try, just a wee little bit, to turn this around.

You can do it.

You have what it takes.

To sign up for the entire 12 week journey, including your choice between one of two Eating Peace in-person retreats (optional) then please click HERE.

“The real thing that we renounce is the tenacious hope that we could be saved from being who we are. Renunciation is a teaching to inspire us to investigate what’s happening every time we grab something because we can’t stand to face what’s coming.” ~ Pema Chodron

I’m here to help inspire you to investigate, and share with you how I do it.

Join me, let’s do it together.

And by the way, anyone who joins, gets access for life. Yes.

Grace, you have a REMARKABLE ability to embrace anything that comes into our Work, and weave it in. I love your light-hearted but serious style, and that you can tell your own stories. Looking back at what I wanted to get out of the program, I can say that I got a lot more than I imagined. Thanks, so much. ~ Florida

Peace, Grace

P.S. This is probably the only time this year I will teach this 3 month course. There’s something amazing about doing it over the holiday season, no matter what your practice or religion.

November 11, 2015

Eating Peace: Be Simple, Lie Down, & Remember you can’t Fail

Recently someone wrote to share a stressful thought she has that I’ve heard before, in every variation possible.

I’m afraid I will fail. I already failed many times. I can’t seem to succeed. I will regret the outcome, later, in the future because it won’t be a success.

Being a human being, you’ve probably noticed a thought pattern like this, as your mind watches the memory of what you’ve been like, and then imagines what’s possible for you in the future, based on what you’ve been like so far.

That same mind will compare the failing you, to the possibly successful you, and see a gap.

Then it will say to you…..yep. See!

Something’s missing. You’re obviously not capable of doing this on your own. You need help.

A LOT of help.

Notice how stressful this is, to think you can’t do it, you won’t make it, you’ll not succeed, you can’t get there, you’ve screwed up many times already and failed over and over again.

Super stressful, discouraging, frightening, sad.

Here I share a little mantra I learned that made a big difference for me, a way to interrupt the pattern of reaching for unneeded food (or uncomfortable thoughts).

Peace,

Grace

November 4, 2015

Eating Peace: it’s your right to eat peacefully…these jewels help you do it

Webinar on Sunday, November 8th. 8:30 – 10:00 am. Share this email with others who may be seeking peace with eating. Learn six jewels to carry with you on the journey to peaceful eating.

(Also, two more webinars on Tuesday and Wednesday morning Nov. 10th and 11th both at 9:00 am. Open to everyone. I’ll be sure to send out news on how to join—put it on your calendar now).

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The journey to Eating Peace feels like a long one, if you’ve experienced eating angst over and over again, weight up and down, discouragement, failure, or repeated attempts to get this handled.

Everyone has a right to eating with peace, though.

Everyone has the absolute capacity for eating peace.

There are six beautiful jewels to use, like provisions for your journey, that support your freedom in every way.

Understanding each one, and how to use it well, is very important if you want an easier, simpler, more direct route from war to peace.

Here are the jewels I’m talking about:

Acceptance
Allowing
Identifying your thoughts
Questioning
Doing Nothing
Being/Receiving

Now, I know these are big generalized words that sound nice, but they kind of mean nothing unless I can explain more about how they’ve worked for me and what I mean.

Today I touch on these six jewels in this short video.

I don’t fully explain them all, it’s true.

But maybe you’ll begin to wonder about where you aren’t accepting, or what you don’t allow, just because I said the words “Acceptance”and “Allowing”.

Maybe you’ll consider what you might be thinking that causes stress, or fear, or lack of love, or loneliness…..which in turn causes eating to be off balance.

You might wonder about questioning all the things you think. You might open up to the idea that you don’t really know what’s true.

Even thoughts like “I shouldn’t eat after 6 pm” or “I have to push myself to exercise” or “there is something wrong with me.”

You might realize with the words “Doing Nothing” that you’re always thinking about what you should do.

You can hardly slow down, and it’s difficult to imagine doing nothing…..including Not Eating when you aren’t hungry, or starving yourself when you are.

Maybe you’ll get the sense of adding more Being to your life. Being who you really are. Relaxing, enjoying yourself as a human, not always trying to self-improve.

I have found, when I feel peace, I receive exactly what I need (no more, no less).

I am not hungry emotionally, I am not upset with myself for feeling a feeling.

I am faulty and imperfect and it’s funny instead of dreadful.

I hope you’ll join me for more in-depth conversation and teaching about these jewels that help so much to support peace within, and with eating.

When you think peacefully, with willingness and openness….

….not denying any difficult feeling, and not being against it either….

….then you will eat peacefully, too.

Let me know what your biggest questions are about eating.

What are you concerns, the areas you experience war, the places you feel the worst about eating?

Send me your questions by hitting reply, or by leaving a comment below the video on youtube.

I can’t wait to work with the wonderful group gathering to learn these principles and take a 3 month adventure together, for greater understanding and peaceful eating. Your questions, even if you aren’t joining right now, help me to prepare.

Eating Peace: It’s your birthright to eat peacefully

Peace,

Grace

P.S. Eating Peace Online: 12 Week Immersion to address emotional eating and move from war to peace. We start November 17th. Join before November 11th for the huge 30% discount.

October 29, 2015

Eating Peace: 2 most important areas to study to go from eating war to peace

Please join me for a free webinar on Sunday, November 8th. Share this email with others who may be seeking peace with eating. I suffered horribly, and now I’m free and here to help others end the battle with eating and troubled thinking.

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It can feel so depressing when you look at where you’d prefer to be with eating (at peace) and you’re incessantly not there (at war).

Watch my video to see the two areas of focus you’ll need to spend time with in order to understand your eating experience….

….thoughts and feelings.

It’s the only way this whole thing gets resolved for good.

You can focus on how you act, what you want to have, but without making peace with thoughts and feelings, the war-like feeling will always return.

Thoughts are very speedy, feelings are very messy and chaotic.

You can be with them anyway.

The surprise is that you don’t need anything more than this. You don’t need to know how to change your thoughts or feelings.

As long as you spend time with them, see them, give them some attention…..

…..you’ll be on your way to peaceful eating.

Peace,

Grace

P.S. Free webinar on November 8th at 8:30 am. This will be different than any webinar I’ve done so far. I’ll share how to walk the path through the dark woods from eating war to peace: Join Eating Peace Webinar. I’ll also share all the details at the end for those of you interested in joining Eating Peace Online: 12 Week Immersion starting November 17th.

October 14, 2015

Eating Peace: if you judge anger or fear…you’ll keep eating them

It’s not breaking news that feelings of anger and fear fuel compulsive or obsessive behavior with food (or other substances).

But maybe you haven’t realized what you actually believe about feeling angry, or feeling afraid.

If you want to destroy, crush, consume, hide, repress or make anger and fear invisible….

….and never feel them again….

….then you’ll keep eating (or starving yourself).

Here’s what happened with me that changed everything:

Eating Peace: Trying NOT to change your anger or fear will help you and heal you

Peace,

Grace

P.S. Eating Peace Online starts November 17. We meet Tuesdays and Wednesdays live (9-10:30 am Pacific time) but all recordings are included and you can watch webinars, and listen. Change your thinking, change your eating.