Tag: emotional eating

Posted on

Is it a stressful story, or a wishing rock?

without your stressful story, maybe all you have is a beautiful wishing rock
without your stressful story, maybe all you have is a beautiful wishing rock

You might be able to tell, there’s a theme lately going on in Grace Notes or Eating Peace videos on youtube.

Retreat.

On the inside.

But you may not be so happy about that theme if you feel like you’re not doing it right.

If you feel like you’re completely pissed off, agitated, anxious or depressed. Or on attack mode (the opposite of retreat) running forward trying to get it handled, or fixed, or done forever.

I get it.

The other day I thought a stream of thoughts, all of which were along the same vein….

….like the way there are veins in the old granite rock up near Ross Lake in the wilderness, driving distance from my home.

Up near Ross Lake, huge slabs of rock are exposed, with a highway cutting through the edge that winds up through the mountains.

College and high school classes go there for the observation and learning about geology of the region, where the under-layers of earth pushed and cracked to the surface and became exposed.

Huge veins of deep or light color run through the rock.

Like the pebbles you see on beaches that have one line running through the pebble that’s different from the rest of the rock, making the pebble appear to have a ring around it.

Since I was little, the kids all said “pick up this kind of pebble, make a wish, and throw it over your left shoulder into the water….your wish will come true.”

Wishing rocks.

Who said so?

Maybe someone many generations back, or far, far back into so many years ago we don’t even remember.

That one thread running through the rock was so solid, so beautiful, so permanent, so colorful.

As I was noticing a thread of thinking running through my own mind, I suddenly had the vision of one of these pebbles….

….or a whole side of a mountain, like near Ross Lake, that had a thick vein of color running through it in massive proportion.

My thoughts were thick and tight and strong, and repetitive, like this vein.

Sigh.

They went like this:

Life is kind of dull, like the weather. I don’t feel like (fill in the blank). Maybe I should get a different regular normal job (I always love when this thought comes in). How about a cup of coffee? Yeah, that’s it. It’s not possible to be on retreat at all times. It’s too boring, too slow, and not practical. There are too many things I want to do in life, and I need to clean. And pay bills. My cottage is too small. The carpet needs vacuuming. Nothing ever works out perfectly.

Yeah.

It was that self-piteous. Piss. Moan.

It continued.

My clients and students who are angry right now, or having a hard time, especially those who experience a contentious relationship with eating?

There’s no solution. They’re right. Life is hard. Holidays are difficult. Family is troubling. People are complicated. Addiction is not easy to overcome. Compulsion is too strong to address. It’s too hard to change one’s story. 

And while we’re at it, can I mention that I hate shopping?

BEEEEEEEPPPPPP.

Did you hear the loud horn?

It was the kind that is built to scare away bears in the wilderness.

You hear it?

It means “stop now”.

Because these kinds of thoughts are strong, compelling and they have babies faster than you can say Jack Robinson.

(Which, by the way, do you know where the saying comes from “faster than you can say Jack Robinson?” From the 1600s in England. Talk about passing along ancient impressive history and old stories through phrases, like the line in the hard rock lasting for generations into the future, even if we no longer know who Jack Robinson is anymore).

Pause.

Even though everything is happening.

Even though you are getting on and off airplanes, or wishing you could and you aren’t.

Even though you are upset with the weather, and worried about global warming, and its not snowing where you live anymore, or snowing too much.

Even though you were fired, or your love of you life divorced you. Even though you lost your hearing, or your health. Even though you can’t read every amazing classic book ever written. Even though you don’t know what to get your kid for Christmas. Even though you’re sick of decorations all around you when you do not even celebrate this holiday. Even though you ate too many cookies at the office party.

Just stop.

Do you notice how you react when you think it’s hopeless?

Do you notice what happens in your body when you believe the world is a dangerous place, or disappointing?

Ow.

When I believe these kinds of thoughts, there’s a crushing weight of self-criticism, responsibility, grief.

So who would you be without these thoughts?

Without beliefs that pack tightly together and create a line inside a rock?

What if you just caught that chatter that says “I’m sick of it” and wonder who you are without the belief?

Because there are already huge parts of you without the belief.

My pinky finger on my right hand, for example, doesn’t have any of these thoughts.

I also didn’t have these thoughts yesterday when curling up in bed to go to sleep after a productive day.

I didn’t have the thought when walking into the gym, or listening to one of my best friend’s messages about her own thoughts with love and acceptance.

Or when I noticed the beauty of red car tail lights filling the night streets. I’m not kidding.

You don’t even really have to work so incredibly hard to wonder what it would be like to not have these kinds of solid, ancient thoughts.

Because there is already a great part of you, far bigger than the energy of this thinking, that doesn’t have any of these thoughts.

Who are YOU anyway, who believes it has stressful thoughts?

Are you sure YOU have them?

Where are they?

I notice they are only an energy, zipping through.

I notice they only come into vein-formation if I begin to follow them, and believe them, and take them seriously.

The other day a student wrote to me “I feel like breaking something!”

“How do you know you’re supposed to be angry? You are!” ~ Byron Katie to me when asking her about my own anger and how to get rid of it.

Just because I think it, I feel it, doesn’t mean I AM IT.

Turning the thoughts around….

Life is full of movement, like the weather. I do feel like (fill in the blank). I am not the one in charge. Nothing is required. There are no solutions to “life”. It IS possible to be on retreat at all times, it’s already actually happening, I don’t have to try. My thoughts are profuse, and that’s fun. Only my mental noise and mind believes them, not the rest of me. I will never be “done”. My mind is too small, my mind needs vacuuming. Everything works out perfectly. 

Pause a moment longer, now that you’ve been pausing to consider your thoughts, and not taking them seriously.

Take a very deep breath.

Relax your entire body. Hold still a moment.

Even if your mind yells and makes noise and comments and gestures and demands you get up and do something….

…..notice how you do not have to act like it’s true.

“Practice not doing, and everything will fall into place.” ~ Tao Te Ching #3

Much love,

Grace

Posted on

Eating Peace: Ending shame is maybe the greatest key to ending compulsion…here’s how

When I was a kid, I felt ashamed and embarrassed to feel just about anything.

Ecstasy and attraction (wanting) something, anger or fury, sadness or self-pity.

The shame of feeling these, and wanting to cover up that I felt them, I took with me into adulthood.

The problem is, if you feel ashamed to feel, you have a MAJOR BLOCKADE going on with reality.

Because you are a feeling person.

Watch here to find out how to allow all feelings to be present and come into the light.

Posted on

Anticipating What Should or Shouldn’t Happen? Do This.

When you’re about to gather with other people for a meal….

….let’s say Thanksgiving, as a random example….

….before the event actually happens what do you notice in that head of yours, as you feel some anxiety, worry, sadness, wonder, confusion?

Any stressful feeling at all….

….what’s the thought behind it?

What’s the SHOULD or SHOULD NOT behind the feeling?

When you spend some time with that, here’s what you might notice.

(It’s really interesting, even moving and beautiful).

Posted on

Eating Peace: A crazy strange idea (that works)–stop trying

Have you ever stopped to notice, that every single time you reach towards something when you feel uncomfortable….

….food, drink, smoke, internet, activity-you-promised-not-to-do….

….you’re trying to feel OK.

But you don’t feel OK.

You’re trying to.

So you put something in your mouth and eat it, and you forget about how you weren’t feeling OK for awhile.

You move on.

Other stuff happens.

Now, you’re drunk, or stuffed, or exhausted, or your money is gone, or you feel guilty, or you feel horrible pain.

That thing you didn’t feel OK about is long gone.

Now, you have worse problems you have to attend to, and work on, and self-hate to deal with on top.

What if….when you got the first inkling of Not-OK about anything, you didn’t try to get away from it or fix it or do something about it?

Believe me, I know it’s weird.

It’s not what is usually offered, or suggested, or what your mind will chatter away about with many possible ideas to solve the problem.

Not solving the problem is VERY strange for the mind.

But try it on. What if you didn’t try to be OK?

Stop Trying to be OK....see what happens
Stop Trying to be OK….see what happens

Peace,

Grace

Posted on

Eating Peace: How do you end eating battles?

Inner peace, eating peace
Inner peace, eating peace

I received a powerful question the other day about ending eating arguments.

These would be those ones inside your own head.

Eat it! Don’t eat it! I’ll eat it! You shouldn’t eat it! Stop eating it! You ate it! You’re wrong! This sucks! You’re fat! You’ll GET fat! You’ll die of a disease! I can’t! I can! I need more! I need less! Too much! Not enough!

Those eating wars, fights, arguments, concerns, worries that happen on the inside of you.

The person asked me….

….”If I’ve tried everything, and I mean EVERYTHING under the sun known to humankind, to stop being out of balance with eating, food, my weight, my obsessive thoughts….

….what could I possibly have missed? 

Why would I want to take any of your programs?”

She went on to tell me she is 52 years old, and spent a lifetime working on this issue.

She began at age 8 when her mom and a doctor put her on a diet (taking a pill and restricting her food).

Like so many of us smart, educated, well-read people, she also knew practically enough to have a degree in nutritional science (no offense to those who actually have it, I know it’s expert work).

She had been to Overeater’s Anonymous and Weight Watchers, and Jenny Craig, and Fat Camps, and done low carb and raw diet (she actually enjoyed it quite a bit, but went off it one day).

She had studied the 12 steps deeply enough to attend AA meetings without feeling like an outsider even though she didn’t think of herself as an alcoholic. She could relate to “addict”.

She had also engaged in therapy with someone she trusted, to study her own emotional experience around eating.

But she still ate too much, and ate the “wrong” things.

She always failed.

What else was there left to do?

She asked me.

So.

What’s my honest answer?

Just Stop…..and get mega tons of support as you do it.

Stop trying to know, or find the answer, or do it all alone….and make THAT a practice in itself.

Then I shared with her a turning point for me that occurred with two things colliding together around the same time.

  1. A commitment to no longer hurt myself. And if I did, I would keep walking the path of Not Hurting Myself. This was stoppingfor me.
  2. If I thought I couldn’t stand it, or my love for myself was threatened (by over-eating, or under-eating) I would be absolutely and completely vulnerable and honest. I would reveal my humanness. I would reveal my shame (if I had it). I would ask for help, if that’s what was required. I would do my part. I would hold still, all alone, and wait for someone to come help, if that was required.

I know these are two pretty huge and gigantic, profound stands.

But they aren’t really.

The short versions could look like this:

  1. Stop before you break the dish
  2. Cry out for help (knowing it’s there) and shout, “I’m wanting to break the dish, help me!”

Notice.

There is no plan for what the outcome is, in either one of these energies.

No set idea for which way it will go.

No ideal weight, no special result, no serious rules to follow.

Except: 

  1. Stop hurting yourself,
  2. See what’s really true.

To get to that inner place of what I like to call Open Hands (no fighting) feels very hard.

At least it appears to be hard.

It appears to require some kind of intention, or ability to achieve it.

But is that true?

Are you sure?

Are you sure you need to find these things, and you’ve lost them? Or you came into this world with them missing?

Are you sure you’ve tried absolutely everything, and it’s completely hopeless?

Because I felt that way hundreds of times, as I look back on my experience of raging eating pain…..

…..but I’m still here.

I’m not only here, I’m writing about healing from eating. I’m living in my 25th year since the last binge-eating episode. I am not destroying anything with eating, or trying to destroy or change something.

My life, however, looks very normal and not that exciting or unusual, when it comes to food and eating.

For example, the other day, I felt like eating ice cream and it was pretty late at night.

We had some kind of chocolate chip flavor in our freezer. I took a bite after dishing it out in a pretty little crystal bowl.

I tasted it.

Not that good.

I opened up the fridge and found chocolate syrup in a container on the door, I didn’t even know we had it in there.

I put it on the ice cream, remembering childhood days of this same canned syrup and ice cream and peanut butter.

But it still didn’t taste that great.

So I ate another bite, as if checking, but then rinsed it into the sink.

Slowly.

It wasn’t a sudden smack of “NO! I won’t! OMG!”

It was just….oh. Ha ha.

Almost like a little mini attempt for something, then discovery of the truth.

It’s not even good. I don’t like the taste in my mouth. Maybe I like the texture and the coolness and gooey-ness, but not the actual taste.

There was no willpower or controlling the ice cream necessary.

I realized I was quite thirsty, and very tired.

What I really wanted, was to drink a big huge glass of water, put away the project I had been working on, and go to sleep.

What I really wanted was to feel the absolute quiet of this moment, at 11:00 at night, at the end of a huge day with many clients and creativity and plans for an upcoming retreat on December 12th.

What I really knew was true, was that nothing was required, and I could have what I wanted instantly….now.

Silence.

Rest.

So how do we do it?

What would that even look like, in a program of study like Eating Peace?

What it looks like is practicing together, which is amazing, and enlightening, and supportive.

Just like people in the medical field practice first aid, or emergency procedures, by repeatedly having fire drills and role-playing.

Rehearsing.

When we’re joined in a group together we practice:

  1. stopping what we’re doing that doesn’t work and loving ourselves as we already are, and
  2. asking for help if we think we can’t, hearing what others think, sharing

I find, when gathered with one or more people other than myself who are intent upon understanding the joy of silence, of knowing the mystery of oneself (like on a meditation retreat)….

….then I can return to the “regular” world of life and I’m more aware than ever of the silence and peace in doing the laundry, working with others, typing, answering phone calls, shopping at the grocery store, playing music, picking up kids from school.

Or eating.

That’s what Eating Peace is all about.

It’s really Thinking Peace, Feeling Peace, Living Peace.

I know….we aren’t always in the middle of whatever this idea of pure “peace” actually looks like, right?

(Except we are).

So we’re making friends with every feeling, every thought, every encounter we have that doesn’t seem friendly and peaceful.

The ones where food becomes an enemy, or our own minds become our foes.

We’re practicing the feelings of safety, the thoughts of openness, the activities of gentleness and love, the awareness of feeling powerful and clear.

We’re wondering and practicing and rehearsing and feeling what it might be like to be people who are capable of landing and being at peace.

Even with eating.

Because we are capable of it.

Not all of us realize it yet.

We get to really see clearly what the barriers are to peace in our heads, the blocks to freely acting on our own behalf, or to opening up to the help from the universe on this topic.

I do not know how long it will take for anyone to truly discover eating peace.

But what I do know, is that anyone can.

I created Eating Peace as a 3 month program (and then a 3 day retreat as well) to support people who want to investigate eating wars once and for all, and see what’s happening internally that makes eating so troubling.

How do we end eating arguments?

You stop believing your thoughts, and your feelings that drive you to be weird with food.

How do we do that?

Love yourself enough to take a look at what is.

Stop eating out of emotions, feelings, desperation, anger, or sadness.

Share, be honest, tell the truth, slow down.

Amazingly…..it works.

Next week, we begin the very thorough Eating Peace Online program again.

As always, it’s updated and improved (how could it not be updated, as life continues to unfold).

It’s my deepest intention to inspire both myself and you as we remember how to return to experience peace with food.

If you’re wondering how the program actually works, here are the basics:

Tuesdays are Live Presentation Days. You listen, you watch a slide show I’ve put together on all the ways I’ve discovered to interrupt the pattern of thinking and feeling that leads to eating out of balance.

Presentations are 9-10:30 am Pacific Time, and you can just as easily watch the recording. If you participate live, there is no talking-you do it all via your computer and write to me during the live 90 minutes to share your responses, discoveries and feedback. You can ask questions, too.

Wednesdays are inquiry days. We do The Work of Byron Katie, a magnificent way to clearly identify the weird things we’ve learned about the religion of eating, and we dissolve these beliefs through questioning them.

Wednesday inquiry sessions are also 9-10:30 am Pacific Time. For these sessions, you CAN talk if you like (I love it if you do) but you can also listen without speaking.

The exact dates of this exploration of the world of eating are below.

We move through four powerful modules: Thoughts, Feelings, Body, Spirit.

Three sessions for every module, three weeks for every module.

Twelve weeks in total. It’s more than three whole months of support, learning, sharing, watching.

You’ll have exercises and practices that are fun, fascinating and full of curiosity as you live your days noticing and accessing your imagination around eating, food and your body image.

You can do them all, or not. Your choice.

You’ll also be invited to Stop.

Stop overeating, stop undereating, stop believing your thinking (question it instead), stop trying to change your feelings into something better all the time.

If you falter or fail, you’ll still be loved, included, accepted and congratulated for coming back. The only requirement for participating is your desire to participate, your desire for eating peace.

I’m sending out this email today because I realized something the other day, when the wonderful woman asked me why she should sign up for Eating Peace?

I have not shared what it’s really all about.

So now I’m sharing with you, so you get the opportunity at least to decide if you want to investigate in a deeper, more profound way than perhaps you ever have before, and to see what it’s like if you Just Stop.

(No matter how much that freaks you out).

If you don’t stop, you’re still welcome.

I’m in Seattle and I can’t keep you from eating, or not eating, but I can offer you the stepping stones through the darks woods, and what I found worked most beautifully.

Module One: Thinking. (We start with the mind).

ALWAYS 9-10:30 am Pacific Time (check your time zone HERE).

  • 11/17 (Weds 11/18 The Work of Byron Katie)
  • 11/24 (Weds 11/25 The Work of Byron Katie)
  • 12/1 (Weds 12/2 The Work)

Module Two: Feelings (the power of feeling bad, or good)

  • 12/15 (12/16 The Work)
  • 12/22 (12/23 The Work)
  • 12/28 Monday Presentation instead of Tuesday
Module Three: Body (loving this body, tending this body)
  • 1/12 (1/13 The Work)
  • 1/19 (1/20 The Work)
  • 1/26 (1/27 The Work)
Module Four: Spirit (practicing being with your mystery)
  • 2/2 (2/4 The Work)
  • 2/9 (2/10 The Work)
  • 2/16 (2/17 The Work)
Everyone in the program has my text, my email, and a 9-1-1 solo session to use any time between now and June 1, 2016. Plus a secret private facebook group for sharing insights.

Even if you do NOT join this program, or any future program, you can begin to watch, take in, notice when you do NOT want to stop and when you do NOT want to share (and keep secrets).

You can try, just a wee little bit, to turn this around.

You can do it.

You have what it takes.

To sign up for the entire 12 week journey, including your choice between one of two Eating Peace in-person retreats (optional) then please click HERE.

“The real thing that we renounce is the tenacious hope that we could be saved from being who we are. Renunciation is a teaching to inspire us to investigate what’s happening every time we grab something because we can’t stand to face what’s coming.” ~ Pema Chodron

I’m here to help inspire you to investigate, and share with you how I do it.

Join me, let’s do it together.

And by the way, anyone who joins, gets access for life. Yes.

Grace, you have a REMARKABLE ability to embrace anything that comes into our Work, and weave it in. I love your light-hearted but serious style, and that you can tell your own stories. Looking back at what I wanted to get out of the program, I can say that I got a lot more than I imagined. Thanks, so much. ~ Florida

Peace, Grace

P.S. This is probably the only time this year I will teach this 3 month course. There’s something amazing about doing it over the holiday season, no matter what your practice or religion.

Sign up here.

 

Posted on

Eating Peace: Be Simple, Lie Down, & Remember you can’t Fail

Recently someone wrote to share a stressful thought she has that I’ve heard before, in every variation possible.

I’m afraid I will fail. I already failed many times. I can’t seem to succeed. I will regret the outcome, later, in the future because it won’t be a success. 

Being a human being, you’ve probably noticed a thought pattern like this, as your mind watches the memory of what you’ve been like, and then imagines what’s possible for you in the future, based on what you’ve been like so far.

That same mind will compare the failing you, to the possibly successful you, and see a gap.

Then it will say to you…..yep. See! 

Something’s missing. You’re obviously not capable of doing this on your own. You need help.

A LOT of help.

Notice how stressful this is, to think you can’t do it, you won’t make it, you’ll not succeed, you can’t get there, you’ve screwed up many times already and failed over and over again.

Super stressful, discouraging, frightening, sad.

Here I share a little mantra I learned that made a big difference for me, a way to interrupt the pattern of reaching for unneeded food (or uncomfortable thoughts).

Peace,

Grace

 

Posted on

Eating Peace: it’s your right to eat peacefully…these jewels help you do it

Webinar on Sunday, November 8th. 8:30 – 10:00 am. Share this email with others who may be seeking peace with eating. Learn six jewels to carry with you on the journey to peaceful eating.

(Also, two more webinars on Tuesday and Wednesday morning Nov. 10th and 11th both at 9:00 am. Open to everyone. I’ll be sure to send out news on how to join—put it on your calendar now).

*********

The journey to Eating Peace feels like a long one, if you’ve experienced eating angst over and over again, weight up and down, discouragement, failure, or repeated attempts to get this handled.

Everyone has a right to eating with peace, though.

Everyone has the absolute capacity for eating peace.

There are six beautiful jewels to use, like provisions for your journey, that support your freedom in every way.

Understanding each one, and how to use it well, is very important if you want an easier, simpler, more direct route from war to peace.

Here are the jewels I’m talking about:

  • Acceptance
  • Allowing
  • Identifying your thoughts
  • Questioning
  • Doing Nothing
  • Being/Receiving

Now, I know these are big generalized words that sound nice, but they kind of mean nothing unless I can explain more about how they’ve worked for me and what I mean.

Today I touch on these six jewels in this short video.

I don’t fully explain them all, it’s true.

But maybe you’ll begin to wonder about where you aren’t accepting, or what you don’t allow, just because I said the words “Acceptance”and “Allowing”.

Maybe you’ll consider what you might be thinking that causes stress, or fear, or lack of love, or loneliness…..which in turn causes eating to be off balance.

You might wonder about questioning all the things you think. You might open up to the idea that you don’t really know what’s true.

Even thoughts like “I shouldn’t eat after 6 pm” or “I have to push myself to exercise” or “there is something wrong with me.”

You might realize with the words “Doing Nothing” that you’re always thinking about what you should do.

You can hardly slow down, and it’s difficult to imagine doing nothing…..including Not Eating when you aren’t hungry, or starving yourself when you are.

Maybe you’ll get the sense of adding more Being to your life. Being who you really are. Relaxing, enjoying yourself as a human, not always trying to self-improve.

I have found, when I feel peace, I receive exactly what I need (no more, no less).

I am not hungry emotionally, I am not upset with myself for feeling a feeling.

I am faulty and imperfect and it’s funny instead of dreadful.

I hope you’ll join me for more in-depth conversation and teaching about these jewels that help so much to support peace within, and with eating.

When you think peacefully, with willingness and openness….

….not denying any difficult feeling, and not being against it either….

….then you will eat peacefully, too.

Let me know what your biggest questions are about eating.

What are you concerns, the areas you experience war, the places you feel the worst about eating?

Send me your questions by hitting reply, or by leaving a comment below the video on youtube.

I can’t wait to work with the wonderful group gathering to learn these principles and take a 3 month adventure together, for greater understanding and peaceful eating. Your questions, even if you aren’t joining right now, help me to prepare.

Eating Peace: It's your birthright to eat peacefully
Eating Peace: It’s your birthright to eat peacefully

Peace,

Grace

P.S. Eating Peace Online: 12 Week Immersion to address emotional eating and move from war to peace. We start November 17th. Join before November 11th for the huge 30% discount.

Posted on

Eating Peace: 2 most important areas to study to go from eating war to peace

Please join me for a free webinar on Sunday, November 8th. Share this email with others who may be seeking peace with eating. I suffered horribly, and now I’m free and here to help others end the battle with eating and troubled thinking.

*********

It can feel so depressing when you look at where you’d prefer to be with eating (at peace) and you’re incessantly not there (at war).

Watch my video to see the two areas of focus you’ll need to spend time with in order to understand your eating experience….

….thoughts and feelings.

It’s the only way this whole thing gets resolved for good.

You can focus on how you act, what you want to have, but without making peace with thoughts and feelings, the war-like feeling will always return.

Thoughts are very speedy, feelings are very messy and chaotic.

You can be with them anyway.

The surprise is that you don’t need anything more than this. You don’t need to know how to change your thoughts or feelings.

As long as you spend time with them, see them, give them some attention…..

…..you’ll be on your way to peaceful eating.

Peace,

Grace

P.S. Free webinar on November 8th at 8:30 am. This will be different than any webinar I’ve done so far. I’ll share how to walk the path through the dark woods from eating war to peace: Join Eating Peace Webinar. I’ll also share all the details at the end for those of you interested in joining Eating Peace Online: 12 Week Immersion starting November 17th.

Posted on

Eating Peace: if you judge anger or fear…you’ll keep eating them

It’s not breaking news that feelings of anger and fear fuel compulsive or obsessive behavior with food (or other substances).

But maybe you haven’t realized what you actually believe about feeling angry, or feeling afraid.

If you want to destroy, crush, consume, hide, repress or make anger and fear invisible….

….and never feel them again….

….then you’ll keep eating (or starving yourself).

Here’s what happened with me that changed everything:
Eating Peace: Trying NOT to change your anger or fear will help you and heal you
Peace,
Grace
P.S. Eating Peace Online starts November 17. We meet Tuesdays and Wednesdays live (9-10:30 am Pacific time) but all recordings are included and you can watch webinars, and listen. Change your thinking, change your eating.

 

Posted on

What If You Aren’t The One Who’s Doing It?

I am truly overwhelmed and honored by all the emails, facebook head chats, messages, texts and a few in-person thank-you’s letting me know the Eating Peace webinar was meaningful, helpful and genuinely inspiring last night.

I wound up recording it (slightly accidental).

Click here (to my cooooool intro page I learned how to create all by myself) enter your email and you’ll receive everything you need to watch the webinar in your Inbox. If you don’t want to remain on the Eating Peace mailing list after you get it, just unsubscribe at the bottom, no biggie.

**********

It’s exciting when something works out better than you ever imagined, right?

Yay, this is good….says the inner commentator.

The feeling within is alive, excited, thrilled.

Maybe you have the thought “I made it!” or “I did it!”

But I notice sometimes stressful ideas and feelings may follow on the heals of judging things as “good”.

It’s called “I have to keep this now.”

The mind follows a line of thinking that goes something like:

Cool. I got this. Hey, let’s raise the bar now. Get to the “next level”. Achieve, accomplish, keep the success going, push through it, now 10x this thing!

(Picture a British drill sergeant yelling “GO GO GO!! Look Alive!! Look Alive!!!”)

Even if you’re not that intense, how strange the movement of thinking so quickly orients to holding on to what you got, making sure you don’t lose. You’re managing yourself and your surroundings.

The other day I heard a good friend say “I don’t want to talk about getting the new job, cause I don’t want to jinx it.”

So cute, really.

We get so superstitious.

What I’m doing, saying, thinking could make something topple, or stay with me, or move against me, or support me.

Can’t get toooooo excited, or I might wind up disappointed later!

Dang.

It’s so much WORK.

But who would you be without the belief that you did it (whatever wonderful thing it was)?

This is really un-hitching yourself from the idea that someone is to blame….including for the good stuff.

I’m not taking away the accomplishment, or suggesting you’re not as competent, or that you didn’t work super hard to get somewhere, or that you weren’t the one practicing, learning, creating.

(Or am I?)

This is simply a little exploration in noticing that even getting what you think you want sometimes isn’t all its cracked up to be.

I’ve worked with so many clients in sessions or retreats who dream of lots of money, or being thin, or being healthy, or finding a mate, or having a rock star business, or becoming president (well, OK, not one person has ever told me they wanted to be president).

Nothing wrong with any of these….

….but who would we be WITHOUT the belief that I am the one who must push, make, try, grab, fight, or drive something into happening?

Do you notice the pressure that can happen with believing you are the one in charge?

And how the thought is very long-standing and has been around a long time that your life is up to YOU?!

Who would you be without this belief….in a good way?

I notice I feel very connected to the world.

All the people who have supported me, all the steps and lessons and teachers and hard times and easy times. My heart beating, my lungs going in and out, without me telling them how to do it.

I’d feel this moment right now, full of appreciation.

I’d thank my mind for thinking, thinking, thinking so very much and believing so many thoughts that it practically shorted out like an electrical current.

I just wouldn’t be against myself, without the belief that my-life-is-up-to-me-so-I-better-work-my-ass-off.

Very aware that there is not an individual solo me here running the show.

I turn the thought around: I did not do it.

It was done. It did me. 

Somehow all forces of the universe converged, and I was there, and it happened.

I wasn’t in command, much as the mind would like to think I was. Not the one or the thing at the helm, not the one in charge, not the do-er of it all.

No way. Impossible.

Can you find the lightness in letting go of the drive to get there, get it, achieve it?

This doesn’t mean lie down on the floor and do nothing.

I notice I rarely want to do that (although I did today for awhile….right down on the floor, on the red floral carpet….it was a good position for some reason).

It just means my hands are open and relaxed, and nothing is required.

Ahhhhhhh. Awe-some.

“One day I noticed I wasn’t breathing–I was being breathed.” ~ Byron Katie

Let the show play on!

Much Love,

Grace

P.S. Wow, we are starting at 9:30 am this morning in north Seattle (Kenmore) with three days of Eating Peace. There’s room for you, if something in your heart says YES. If you’re scared to try, just come. Hit reply and let me know, I’ll send you the address.