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Do You Have To Choose Between Two Great Options?

Oh no.

Two wonderful invitations, two things to do, two possibilities. Equally wonderful.

Scheduled at the same time.

I watched the mind have a hissy fit, over in the corner. You may have experienced the same kind of reaction before as well.

I can’t decide. I want to do both. I have to make the right decision. I don’t want to regret missing something. I’ll miss something no matter what–because both choices are excellent.

It seems innocuous, not that big of a deal as far as dilemmas go….

….but for some people (and previously for me) making a decision between two, or more, wonderful choices can be agonizing.

I remember needing to pick my college major. Comparative religion, or psychology?

The evening before yesterday, here in Sacramento, California where I have arrived to spend time with a few fabulous friends exploring human consciousness, awakening, meditation….I suddenly and coincidentally found out that a very dear old friend was ALSO in Sacramento teaching a workshop at the Unity Church.

I texted her.

She texted back right away, delighted, and we met for a truly incredible dinner talking for 3 hours straight. I love this woman and the intimate, easy connection.

I woke up yesterday morning and had the thought to attend the morning portion of my friend’s workshop. I texted again. She said YES YES YES.

Then my other group of friends called, with voices in the background shouting “Hi, Grace! Come over! We’re eating breakfast!”

Oh. Man…THAT sounds good.

It all sounds good, I am over-abundantly flowing with a sense of buzzing joy, like a golden retriever racing for balls, scampering here and there with complete and total happiness.

I wish I could be two places at once. I’m missing something.

Is that actually true?

Yes. In fact I’m missing TONS of things, an infinite number of things happening on planet earth right now.

Are you sure it’s true?

Yep. Positive.

How do you react when you believe something good might be happening over there, where you are not?

Ewww. It’s not pleasant. I am torn. Analyzing the best choice. Pulled this way, then that way in my mind.

For some people, the reaction to this thought is truly torturous. Hard to enjoy where you are, attempting to maximize or make sure you’ve picked the best place to be. Grabby. Demanding that the moment be a good one.

So….who would you be without the belief that you’ll miss something? That you need to know it’s the best choice? That you should be sure the choice you made was the “right” choice?

A grand, wonderful lightness of being.

A part of the mind observing everything that already knows it doesn’t matter…nothing will be missed…nothing lacking.

Yesterday, I heard the mind saying ‘what will it do next?’ like I was an “it”. Relaxed, watching with a big smile, noticing there is a movement this way, and off she goes in this direction.

I saw myself check the distance on my phone via maps of both locations, imagining what was happening over there at the workshop, then over there at the breakfast.

I turned the thought around:

There is no wrong way to do this, no wrong choice, I can and will decide, but I am not deciding anyway. I want to do only whatever is possible for me to do. I won’t miss anything, there will be no regrets. I’ll gain something no matter what–because both choices are excellent.

Something inside moves back, back, back like I’m rising up into the sky looking down at all the incredible choices in every moment. What happens now, and then now, and letting go of *thinking* I am running it.

I go here, then I receive a text, then I think I’m going that way, but then I receive a text from someone else, then I drive another way, then I say yes, I will be over there later, then I enter the workshop of my good friend and it’s perfect and so sweet, meeting the most exceptional people…

…then I’m driving back on the freeway and meeting another very dear friend we go together another direction and gather with other incredible people.

Like a river spilling down the slope, going over here and no way to analyze why the water turns that way or this….

….my day unfolds and yes, I missed something, but I wasn’t supposed to be there obviously, because I wasn’t there.

So nothing was missed.

“When your image of the me takes a break, you’ll find all you are doing at that moment is just being open. You feel quite relieved that you are not trying to get to another moment or a better experience.” ~ Adyashanti

It’s easier to relax, deeply, and feel inside what’s the best way to go in every moment by bringing the universe into the equation, or noticing it’s already in it. This is not up to me.

It’s much simpler that way.

But even if you agonize over choosing between two options, and it doesn’t seem simple….right now in this moment, take a deep breath and know the turnaround “I don’t have to decide, everything is OK.”

You don’t. It is.

“Practice not doing, and everything will fall into place.” ~ Tao Te Ching #3

Love, Grace

 

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There Is Something Wrong

Yesterday my road trip continued. The highway stretching out, breathing in scent of pines, passing a recent accident with firetrucks flashing lights.

A big huge mountain was suddenly there in front of me rising up, with the peak covered in clouds and warm rain pattering on my windshield. Mount Shasta.

One of my teachers, Steven Bodian, once said he had many awakening moments in a silent car, lightbulb going off.

You’re traveling through space, thoughts free-floating and free-falling. Then you remember something.

Winding down the pass…I think of a family camping trip to California. I am twelve.

We are on the road for several weeks, maybe three. My dad is on summer quarter school break, my mom takes a vacation from work. My grandma is with us.

One night we are in a gorgeous campground with the Pacific Ocean stretching out below us. Tents have been set up, my grandma is in her camping chair.

My sister who is eleven and I get into some argument about where we’re sleeping…I can’t remember what it was about. But I was so angry, I take her personal suitcase full of her clothes and belongings, and dump it all over the ground and the fling the empty suitcase as far as I can.

She looks at me in shock and fury.

I run to a nearby tree and climb it, up, up, up and sit there and peek down below at the destruction.

She’s telling my parents what I did and beckoning them to come see.

Now…here’s the part that still has a tiny edgy memory of shame.

My dad starts looking for me, but I say nothing and don’t come down the tree. I feel sick.

The seriousness of this guilt was so intense, I still remember it to this day, even though I don’t remember the actual fighting part with my sister.

I can do The Work from here, from what was then the future, the Now looking at the past. I came through here today to clean this up.

I was terrible.

Find the place where you have sometime felt this to be true.

See if it was.

Can you absolutely be sure that you were terrible, guilty, bad, and should be ashamed of yourself?

Even if you say yes, keep going with contemplating this belief.

How do you react when you believe it’s your fault, you did it, and it turned out like shit?

Self-condemnation sets in. Vows to never to it again. Hiding, embarrassment, feeling mortified. “Working” on yourself to fix this problem.

But who would you be without the belief that you were terrible?

Notice the whole entire situation without the self-criticism. Look at everyone in the scene. Notice what your thoughts were about everyone you were interacting with, not just you.

Oh yeah!

Begin to identify more clearly why you were hurt. Who else might have thought you were terrible? Why? What did you really want from people at that time, in that situation?

If you don’t just stop at the I-Hate-Myself platform…what else was going on?

You get to find out when you relive that moment and investigate.

I noticed I was most worried about what my dad thought of me having a fit. I felt rage, and then terrified he wouldn’t love me because I expressed rage.

Lightbulb.

I was copying my dad. He got angry sometimes, exploded, and then appeared to feel terrible and unloved.

Same same.

Without that thought, I notice it’s just humans, expressing themselves.

“The feeling that something is wrong…that’s not a personal problem of yours, it is a universal, human condition to carry inside the feeling that something is wrong. Then the mind looks for what it can do about it…where is the thing that’s wrong? And it misinterprets situations.” ~ Eckhart Tolle

Nothing was wrong, nothing was terrible.

There was passion, energy, love, fear all swirling together. Things more things happened next. The scene moved on and became a memory. The bigness of the feelings relaxed, my sister and I were friends again, I always knew my dad loved me and I loved him.

“When you sit quiet and watch yourself, all kinds of things may come to the surface. Do nothing about them, don’t react to them; as they have come so will they go, by themselves.” ~ Nisargadatta

Love, Grace

 

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What Could Super Hot Weather Be For?

What an incredible day I had yesterday. I got up at 5 in the morning, fell back to sleep and then really got up at 6.

Off I drove by 6:30 am, gassed up the car and headed south.

Road trip.

There is something wonderful and free about being on the road. You don’t know where you’ll stop, you’re present to immediate things like the need to stop for a bathroom somewhere soon, or a drink of water, fill the tank, or to charge your laptop so you can keep listening to the recording.

I had all the windows rolled down (I don’t own a car with air conditioning) and started getting hotter the further south I drove.

And hotter.

And hotter.

And then I was sweating profusely. Hmm. Kind of hot outside (I found out later it was 100 degrees F).

Floating through my mind was the objection “I should have thought of this, I should have borrowed a car with AC, why didn’t I remember it might be this hot?”

If it gets much hotter, I can’t stand it.

Is that true?

Is it true that I have to stand it? If it got hotter, is it true that I wouldn’t stop and go inside somewhere?

No. I would.

Heat could interrupt my trip. I have to get there on time. I have to get there before my YOI group meets (our teleconference call meets at 5:15 pm). This has to go as planned.

True? No.

Who would you be without the thought that you have to get there, in the way you planned, in the manner in which you planned it, at the expected tolerable temperature?

Ha!

Freely driving, seeing landscape change, listening to air and motor, sweating, silence.

And to top off the sweetness of feeling so free, at the same time as being so hot, I arrive at my good friend’s home, I sit in her air conditioned house talking and connecting happily, I take a shower (showers are AMAZING, aren’t they?), she serves me cold water (stunning) and then I get to put on my headphones and meet with Year of Inquiry folks.

We’re in the topic “Worst Case Scenarios” and we question our beliefs about death.

“When you question what you believe, the mind is free, and it’s no longer at war with itself. And it’s unlimited–genius is an understatement.” ~ Byron Katie

Later, dinner, strolling in the gorgeous little town of Ashland, Oregon, hearing loud calling from Richard III on the outdoor stage performance underway over the wall.

The moon hangs in a midnight blue sky.

What an incredible life, even at 100 degrees.

It was not too hot.

I had more appreciation and joy for cold water, friend, AC, a fabulous group who dials in to a phone call to investigate death, dinner, the moon, than I ever could have dreamed of without the heat.

Much love, Grace

P.S. Serenity link didn’t work yesterday, I know. You’ll be able to read the update on Serenity next week instead.

 

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My Personal Money Story Released TODAY

I told my whole terrible and difficult money story…and how it changed from terror to joy…on VIDEO.

And it is released today.

It’s kind of crazy vulnerable, but I hope it helps those who need it.

Click HERE to watch it.

I tell about how I questioned my own pervasive belief:

I need more money in order to survive.

It felt so true back then, when my money was flying out of my bank account as fast as the sinking Titanic, and then I began to go into debt and foreclosure threatened.

That all happened only five years ago.

And the intensity of my experience of almost losing everything forced me into questioning my own value, and how much I had believed an inner voice that said “you don’t deserve money”.

That changed.

I questioned my thoughts.

For me, it was part of my path with money to receive…I had a lot of problems with receiving love, enough, kindness, safety (apparently) and as I questioned all of these, I could receive money as well.

I hope you enjoy the video, if it serves. Let me know what you think. Please share it with others who you think might benefit. You can forward this email to them if you like.
In gratitude.
“When you believe your thoughts, you suffer….but only 100% of the time.” ~ Byron Katie

Much love, Grace

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A Year of Inquiry Begins In September

Today’s the day! It’s time to apply for YOI! That’s Year of Inquiry, for short. We start in September.

Wait, did you say a whole year? Seriously?

Yes. It’s true.

After many interviews of the past year’s participants, and some perfect upgrades and changes….here’s what YOI looks like:

You’ll start in September with a telegroup. There are two groups to choose from, Tuesday mornings at 9 am and Thursday afternoons 4:30 pm Pacific time. (Friday may be added too).

We gather to do The Work.

It’s not really a support group, although support is powerful. It’s not a discussion or sharing group, although we get to know each other so deeply and authentically.

It’s a group of people all gathering to investigate what keeps them from freedom, from awareness. We are using our lives, our experiences and memories—what’s right here in our minds—to wake up.

Is what you are thinking that creates stress in your life genuinely true? Can you absolutely know this is the case? Are you 100% positive?

What have you believed, perhaps all your life so far, about how people should act, how you should succeed, how life is supposed to be when it’s good, or what failure is?

What do you really think about death, sickness, pain, loss, grief or frustration, spirituality?

Where does your thinking keep you from noticing this present moment, and who you really are?

That’s what we’re about.

This group helps you to not be alone in this journey of wondering. You’re connected, very honestly. You can share what you might not be able to share in your “normal” life.

Who would you be, without your thinking?

That’s what we get down to. One thought at a time.

Some people call groups like this a sangha, an inquiry circle, your support team. You might not like everyone in the group all the time 24/7, but you’ll love them by the end of this year.

Each telegroup is limited to 12 people.

Everyone comes together for a weekend in September and 4.5 days in May to get really close to inquiry, silence, each other, and the power of The Work.

Yes…there is an option to be in the telegroup-only plan. You join YOI, but don’t attend the retreats. You may live half way around the world, it may not be possible to travel to Seattle to be with us. That’s OK, and you never know, you might change your mind.

People will be accepted first who want the full YOI program (retreats included). Doing the full YOI JOY deal has been life-changing for participants. The in-person retreats made a gigantic difference in peoples’ lives.

And it fills my heart to meet you.

“The Work of Byron Katie is a way of identifying and questioning the thoughts that cause all the anger, fear, depression, addiction, and violence in the world. Experience the happiness of undoing those thoughts through The Work, and allow your mind to return to its true, awakened, peaceful, creative nature.” ~ Byron Katie

What ails you? Is it love? Your children? Your body? Your eating, drinking or compulsive behavior? Your self-criticism? Money? Your spouse? Co-workers?

All of the above?

Come settle yourself in to doing The Work, listening to your deepest center of you, getting to know who YOU really are.

If you find you’ve needed support along this journey, then maybe YOI is for you. You are not alone.

Your thoughts are welcome here, I’d love to have you.

Click HERE to tell me about yourself and why you’d like to be a part of YOI, and I’ll get back to you very soon.

If you want to read about all the topics and what YOI is like….click over to my website HERE. (You can fill out the application there, too).

Much love, Grace

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How To Work With Depression

Sometimes people ask me to write about special topics they feel confused or unhappy about.

I love it when that happens.

The other day an inquirer asked me to write about depression, and not really understanding why.

In some ways, most feelings start out without full explanation.

They envelope the body, course through our torso, our face feels hot, our stomach fluttery.

What does depression feel like?

I remember it well.

Like a huge volume dial has been turned down to one, where it was once at a ten, all around the heart. This quiet, dead feeling expanded down my arms and legs.

Tired, heavy, curled over in the gut, feeling like I couldn’t stand up.

The word depression sounds like it feels…..pressed down deeeeep.

Long ago a therapist, or perhaps a workshop leader, said depression was anger or grief imploding inwards.

Trapped, stuck, flattened.

But I don’t want to turn it outwards! That would result in raging at other people, or sobbing my eyes out, expressing how disturbing I find the world, acting crazy….right?

I can’t just start FEELING right in front of everyone!

Can I?

If you find the very idea horrifying, there is a way to slow this process of uncovering and taking the pressure off the implosion slowly, one thought by one thought at a time.

Like easing the air out of a big blown up balloon.

Don’t go thinking you’ll have to identify 1480 thoughts before the depression lifts, that’s just another depressing thought.

So here goes:

If your feeling of depression could talk and you set it in a chair, looking like a big lump of gray mottled nasty something, what would it say?

What are the ideas it has about what hurts, what feels painful, what you object to?

  • Life is difficult
  • I can’t stand “x”
  • My work situation is “y”
  • My family life is unpleasant because “z”
  • What I really hate about life is “q”

Once you have that first idea, write why you think this thought.

Find your proof.

Don’t talk yourself out of the exercise and say it’s not all that bad, you already know life is good, you were just kidding.

Pretend you’re not kidding.

“Life is difficult”.

Why? Make a list. Write what seems difficult about being alive here on planet earth.

See if you can make it personal, as in, what is difficult for YOU about being here.

If you give yourself only 15 minutes to write, give or take a few minutes, you will follow the breadcrumbs to what ails you, what you’re believing and thinking at a deep level.

You will have one step on this dark journey taken, like driving on a foggy, foggy road with headlights on very slowly going 5 mph. It doesn’t matter that you’re moving so slowly, and it’s so hard to see. You still see something.

You’re moving.

Here’s the good news: nothing stays the same.

It may feel like you’ve been depressed for months, years. But no feeling, not even joy, is full powered on 24/7.

Once you have one thought, the one on top, you can take it through inquiry.

Get someone to facilitate you. Write out your answers. Call me, Grace, and make an appointment for an individual session, I’d be honored to work with you.

Most of all, while you’re exploring the darkness…let it stay there.

Don’t try to push it away or turn on all the lights at once. If they’re going to do that, they will in due time all by themselves.

Welcome the darkness, the depression. Have tea with it. It’s hear for an important reason, with something significant to say.

You don’t want to get rid of it too soon to understand its message.

“For a tree’s branches to reach to heaven, it’s roots must reach to hell.” (medieval alchemical dictum)

 Deep breath. Go. No expectations.

“It’s good that it hurts. Pain is the signal that you’re confused, that you’re in a lie.” ~ Byron Katie 

Much love,
Grace
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That Troubling Way It Went? It Should Have Gone That Way

That shouldn’t have happened.

How many times have you thought this, in life?

Well….I’ve had it run through my head a gazillion times from the peanut gallery in my mind.

Boy, that really would have been better if it hadn’t happened….

…..what do you think, Peanut Gallery Committee Member B?

Oh, I agree 100%! And how about you, Committee Members C, D, and E?

Absolutely! That shouldn’t have happened! We all agree!

Just look at all the alternative possibilities that are available instead, if THAT hadn’t happened!

But…..what if instead of seeing how clearly something would be better if it hadn’t gone the way it did….

….instead, you found the benefits of the event or circumstance or situation going exactly as it went.

This is what is sometimes called the “living turnaround” in Byron Katie’s work.

I find advantages to what happened, instead of focusing on the disadvantage, concerns, fears.

It’s not positive thinking, or a type of orientation that tries to pretend something didn’t happen at ALL, or cover over the original painful thought. It’s not denial, looking on the bright side, putting a smile on a terrible situation, blah blah.

This is being open to a genuine, authentic openness to benefits coming out of the most troubling situations.

“The sense that things should be other than they are, is suffering.” ~ Wayne Liquorman

Yesterday in Summer Camp, a group of inquirers joining teleconference calls to question their beliefs together as a practice during the summer, looked at this very stressful concept where we really think something should NOT have gone the way it did.

Ouch. Agony.

When thinking that belief to be true, that something shouldn’t be as it is (or was) inquirers in the Summer Camp call reported feeling churning in the stomach, a sharp pain in the throat, jabs in the ribs, anger, rage, wanting to quit, hopelessness.

No hope. What’s the use?

But to truly consider who you would be without the conviction that something should have gone differently?

And then to even find the advantages that it should have gone as it did?

Quite a mind-blower.

This is what people discovered: It should have gone that way because…

…it gives me great opportunity to understand my own pain, my own difficult past and history, to feel better, to notice how I did the best I could (and so did everyone else), to loosen my grip on the need to control or manage things, to allow everything to be as it was, as it is, to let go completely.

“The I-know mind is very painful. It tries to run things like a dictator, and life goes on without it. And all sadness is a tantrum. It’s the war with God, the war with reality–all sadness. And you lose. So turn it around.” ~ Byron Katie

It should have gone that way, because I would never be here right now, writing this, sitting here, living in this particular moment if it hadn’t.

Even with all the Committee Members chiming in.

Much love, Grace

 

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Website Abuse Suspension Drama

 

Breitenbush retreat is nearly here and we have at the last minute an open spot, but only for one man to share a cabin with another man who is already registered.

Call Breitenbush if you know you’re the one 504-854-7174.

Otherwise, we’re full to the max….but stay tuned for future opportunities, there will be others.

****

Turns out my website is frozen because of something technical about CPUs and caches.

I have no idea what it means, even after reading the articles they sent, so I’ll be finding help soon.

But I noticed I didn’t like the words the hosting site sent, letting me know this shut-down thing was happening.

“Your account is abusing CPU resources…”

My account is abusing something? Whaaaaat?!

How could this be happening?

Immediately came the thoughts: they should have told me sooner before reaching this critical point, they should have explained the problem better, they didn’t give me enough time, they shouldn’t use the word ‘abusing’, this is bad for my business, people won’t find my website, Grace Notes can’t go out, this is terrible!

As these thoughts rise, some have a little more juice than others, but I’m not really all that bothered.

Until I read something about being suspended and I have visions of my website getting wiped out by someone since it’s been abusing something, somehow.

All my hard work and learning, gone in a flash!

Is that true, that it’s gone, or even suspended, forever?

No.

Who would I be without the belief that it’s all gone, wiped out, suspended for reasons I don’t know, destroyed?

Ready to make a simple phone call to my hosting company. Taking the next steps to resolve it.

Relaxing.

If it really was gone, I have a back up. I would start over, I could rewrite some of the pages. I could get some simple help.

Who knows?

To even relax a little with less drama, trust, an open mind…

…there is a calm that enters.

Willing not to know, and knowing I’m about to learn something new.

No need to imagine anything really, just moving forward with the obvious next step with no alarm, no panic, no house on fire, no emergency.

Call Customer Service Support.

“There’s a sense of order that goes on all the time as things move and change, and I am that harmony, and so are you. Not knowing is the only way to understand.” ~ Byron Katie

I love even in the middle of technical problems, phone conversations, business tasks….

….harmony and beauty.

Much love,

Grace

 

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Freedom To Be Angry

He is soooo bad at planning! So irresponsible! What was he thinking?! ARRRRGGGGHHH!

These thoughts were running through my mind two days ago when I went to pick up my son from his dorm check-out ending his second year in college.

Dorm check-out is when yellow-vested staff come through with a clip board and examine the empty, clean dorm room for damage, and to make sure every lamp and piece of furniture is intact.

Notice the words “empty” and “clean”.

His check-out appointment was set for 1:45 pm. I arrived at 1:25 after a 90 minute drive knowing it would take about 20 minutes to load his all his things in the little pick-up truck I had borrowed.

Opening the door of his room, I saw my son, I saw the bed piled with his rumpled bedding…..

….I gasped.

I saw a completely lived-in NOT packed room. Not one thing packed for moving out.

All the clothes in his closet on hangers, the dresser still full, his bookshelves piled high, his desk covered with books and study materials, the mini-fridge containing food, the wall still covered with posters, the cupboard full of kitchen items, his stereo and speaker system still hooked up for music.

Not. One. Thing. Packed.

Stunned, I went into high gear problem-solving mode. After saying with shock in my voice “you didn’t pack yet? I thought we talked about that you would have everything in boxes last night!!!”

I left out the *you moron* part at the end.

As I started stuffing pillow cases and his laundry basket full of his things, I said firmly to my son to go find some boxes and get his bicycle into the truck.

I could feel the pump of anger coursing through. I had an important meeting I planned on attending back home in 3 hours and very determined to be there on time (ha ha fat chance).

As I dashed back and forth between room and truck parked in loading zone outside I noticed other parents, and their sons and daughters.

Those parents look happy! Their kids didn’t do this. Those other kids were packed. They are enjoying this end-of-year moving out moment.

When things like this happen, it can be both infuriating and discouraging.

You are enraged at someone you absolutely adore.

And on top of it all, you might think you shouldn’t be so angry, you should relax a little, right?

This is an interesting place for inquiry.

I need to stop being angry, I really should. Nothing can be done anyway. 

Is that true?

Long ago when I was really into my first two years of doing The Work I was doing what felt like the same worksheet over and over again on a man. Don’t get me started!

I asked Byron Katie how to get over it. “I’m still so angry!” I told her.

She said “How do you know you’re supposed to be angry? You are!”

Oh! It’s normal to feel anger? Oh!

Anger rises, in this human being. Nothing wrong with it, it is part of reality.

The way I react when I think I should NOT be angry, when I am, feels like an inner ongoing battle.

Hold it in, don’t express.

But who would you be without that thought that this energy called anger is unacceptable?

Feeling it, freely.

Noticing I don’t start calling anyone names, I’m not killing anyone, I don’t need to overeat or drink or smoke (these don’t even occur to me in fact). I’m simply on fire and watching fears and inconveniences and reality collide within.

And below it, the whole entire time, seeing everything is absolutely wonderfully OK….even amusing.

In the truck, later, I say to my son “this will be really funny story later on.”

He leans his head on my shoulder and says “sorry mom, I won’t ever do that again.”

I turn the thought around: I don’t need to stop being angry, and I shouldn’t (until I am). Anything can be done (it’s not hopeless).

Some time between the discovery of the unpacked room and an hour and a half later driving away with a fully packed truck, the anger dissolved.

The energy had been used perfectly for moving fast, furiously, lifting, carrying, jogging down the hall, in and out, holding doors, piling boxes.

Feeling how strong I am.

“I’ve found that the truth of who we are can and does use all the emotions. Anger is an energy that can be used in a wise way. Mostly we experience anger out of divisiveness, a battle between two opposing forces. But one can experience anger that comes from wholeness rather than division. Once you’ve experienced it, you know the difference. We don’t need that energy very often, but when it’s needed, it will come.” ~ Adyashanti

Resting in whatever is happening, now, and noticing how amazing it all is, even in the middle of hot frustration, is so exciting.

And it’s the truth of who you are. Noticing all is well, no matter what.

Even if you got all pissed off about something.

Halleluia.

Much love, Grace

 

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Legitimate Reasons To Suffer

Recently my  days, including the Thursday Year of Inquiry group since that’s our topic for the month now, have been full of one after the other profound inquiries on some of the radical situations we go through in life: death, loss, whole communities suffering in civil unrest, poverty.

Sudden change occurs in life; someone gone unexpectedly, a whole country in revolution, a beloved pet killed, an apartment building burned to the ground, a family dying in a car wreck.

Upon reflecting on the amazing people who appear for inquiry in my life and their stories, I had the interesting thought:

It’s better if you know it’s going to happen, it’s better if you’re prepared.

Huh, I said to myself. That seems pretty true.

There are seminars on preparedness!

Like for wilderness survival, earthquakes, taking tests, interviews, retirement, giving birth, attending college.

The tricky part….and funny how the mind can FIND this to be tricky….is when you believe it’s better to be prepared for something you can’t actually prepare for.

Like “sudden” change, death, loss, social uprising, revolution, suffering, a diagnosis.

But I can feel the part of the mind that really believes in endless preparation. The one that thinks 3 degrees maybe aren’t quite enough, and more classes are needed, and if you just knew what to expect, it would be easier.

It’s kind stressy.

So who would you be without the belief that it’s better to be prepared for things that happen?

Without the belief that you could be MORE prepared than you are?

“But God can only smile because only God can know what is coming next.” ~ Desmond Tutu

Turning the thoughts around, I find most astonishing: It’s better to be right where I am, unprepared. It’s better not knowing when I don’t know.

Doesn’t that feel more exciting, more tender, more loving and kind?

So many things that I was spared from knowing, until later when I knew them.

So good I didn’t know, so good I still don’t know, right?

Some things are saved for later, for their perfect timing. Maybe the best is saved for last….death.

Maybe it isn’t “last”, just like everything else. And it’s obviously not necessary to know what’s next.

“You move totally away from reality when you believe there is a legitimate reason to suffer.” ~ Byron Katie

Truly incredible.

Much love, Grace

P.S. One camp spot open at Breitenbush in the beautiful glorious summer weather. We can squeeze you in if you can make it. June 25-29. Join us!