Oh no.
Two wonderful invitations, two things to do, two possibilities. Equally wonderful.
Scheduled at the same time.
I watched the mind have a hissy fit, over in the corner. You may have experienced the same kind of reaction before as well.
I can’t decide. I want to do both. I have to make the right decision. I don’t want to regret missing something. I’ll miss something no matter what–because both choices are excellent.
It seems innocuous, not that big of a deal as far as dilemmas go….
….but for some people (and previously for me) making a decision between two, or more, wonderful choices can be agonizing.
I remember needing to pick my college major. Comparative religion, or psychology?
The evening before yesterday, here in Sacramento, California where I have arrived to spend time with a few fabulous friends exploring human consciousness, awakening, meditation….I suddenly and coincidentally found out that a very dear old friend was ALSO in Sacramento teaching a workshop at the Unity Church.
I texted her.
She texted back right away, delighted, and we met for a truly incredible dinner talking for 3 hours straight. I love this woman and the intimate, easy connection.
I woke up yesterday morning and had the thought to attend the morning portion of my friend’s workshop. I texted again. She said YES YES YES.
Then my other group of friends called, with voices in the background shouting “Hi, Grace! Come over! We’re eating breakfast!”
Oh. Man…THAT sounds good.
It all sounds good, I am over-abundantly flowing with a sense of buzzing joy, like a golden retriever racing for balls, scampering here and there with complete and total happiness.
I wish I could be two places at once. I’m missing something.
Is that actually true?
Yes. In fact I’m missing TONS of things, an infinite number of things happening on planet earth right now.
Are you sure it’s true?
Yep. Positive.
How do you react when you believe something good might be happening over there, where you are not?
Ewww. It’s not pleasant. I am torn. Analyzing the best choice. Pulled this way, then that way in my mind.
For some people, the reaction to this thought is truly torturous. Hard to enjoy where you are, attempting to maximize or make sure you’ve picked the best place to be. Grabby. Demanding that the moment be a good one.
So….who would you be without the belief that you’ll miss something? That you need to know it’s the best choice? That you should be sure the choice you made was the “right” choice?
A grand, wonderful lightness of being.
A part of the mind observing everything that already knows it doesn’t matter…nothing will be missed…nothing lacking.
Yesterday, I heard the mind saying ‘what will it do next?’ like I was an “it”. Relaxed, watching with a big smile, noticing there is a movement this way, and off she goes in this direction.
I saw myself check the distance on my phone via maps of both locations, imagining what was happening over there at the workshop, then over there at the breakfast.
I turned the thought around:
There is no wrong way to do this, no wrong choice, I can and will decide, but I am not deciding anyway. I want to do only whatever is possible for me to do. I won’t miss anything, there will be no regrets. I’ll gain something no matter what–because both choices are excellent.
Something inside moves back, back, back like I’m rising up into the sky looking down at all the incredible choices in every moment. What happens now, and then now, and letting go of *thinking* I am running it.
I go here, then I receive a text, then I think I’m going that way, but then I receive a text from someone else, then I drive another way, then I say yes, I will be over there later, then I enter the workshop of my good friend and it’s perfect and so sweet, meeting the most exceptional people…
…then I’m driving back on the freeway and meeting another very dear friend we go together another direction and gather with other incredible people.
Like a river spilling down the slope, going over here and no way to analyze why the water turns that way or this….
….my day unfolds and yes, I missed something, but I wasn’t supposed to be there obviously, because I wasn’t there.
So nothing was missed.
“When your image of the me takes a break, you’ll find all you are doing at that moment is just being open. You feel quite relieved that you are not trying to get to another moment or a better experience.” ~ Adyashanti
It’s easier to relax, deeply, and feel inside what’s the best way to go in every moment by bringing the universe into the equation, or noticing it’s already in it. This is not up to me.
It’s much simpler that way.
But even if you agonize over choosing between two options, and it doesn’t seem simple….right now in this moment, take a deep breath and know the turnaround “I don’t have to decide, everything is OK.”
You don’t. It is.
“Practice not doing, and everything will fall into place.” ~ Tao Te Ching #3
Love, Grace