If you were really, truly successful…..what would that look like?
Oooh boy, that is such a fine question for the busy busy little mind. It starts the ball rolling on what could be better.
Now, don’t get me wrong! Considering the future is part of life when you have a mind. This is actually a really fun, creative exercise. People use it all the time in trainings and counseling or coaching sessions to allow inspiring visions to appear, to build exciting scenes in the imagination!
And for those of us who tend to picture frightening visions of the future, it can be a new and different idea to envision images that are peaceful, calm and supportive.
But oh what a trickster the mind can be. So many possibilities, it can be overwhelming. So many paths to take.
And the difference between NOW and THEN (that future successful image) gets more and more clear, pronounced, real, distant, far away…..oh dear, here comes the awareness that right NOW is not quite as good as LATER might be.
So what would success look like? I’ve had so many pictures, but it kind of looks like this:
- If I were really really successful I would be in great physical shape, like I’d decide to run a half-marathon or mountain bike race and it would be no big deal
- I would have love, joy and laughter in all my interactions with my children—they would adore me and I would adore them
- I wouldn’t get terrified, enraged, or depressed…..Call me Yoda.
- All my relationships would be really clear, clean, intimate, honest
- I would make decisions with speed and sharpness
- My house and possessions would be elegant, comfortable, and anything needing to be fixed would be fixed IMMEDIATELY
- I would have plenty of money to travel, pay for my childrens’ education, get massages, do good in the world
- I would never get sick, I definitely wouldn’t get cancer
- I would have a fabulous, amazing life partner that was also successful
- I would be a published author and have a waiting list of clients wanting to work with me
- I would make a difference in the world, maybe even become famous in my field
Notice how this list is all centered around something called “I”. It’s all about ME. I have found that when the underlying motive is to get “there” to “success” so I can be happy, then I forget that I am actually happy right now.
If I think I’m NOT happy right now, I write down why. I take these concepts to inquiry. I find there is nothing lacking, nothing needed. Success is actually here, right now. No searching necessary, no exercises are necessary even to “picture” what success will be in the future.
From the Tao Te Ching 74: “If you realize that all things change, there is nothing you will try to hold on to. If you aren’t afraid of dying, there is nothing you can’t achieve. Trying to control the future is like trying to take the master carpenter’s place. When you handle the master carpenter’s tools, chances are that you’ll cut your hand.”
Once you inquire into what you believe success is, you may find you feel freer, that there is a wonderful place of knowing you can’t hold onto anything. Now it is fun, creative, child-like, and stress-free to play with imagining the future. But it’s not necessary for having a happy life.
The strangest thing is, the more I let go of pushing for success, the more successful I’ve become. Even though, as it turns out, I’ve had cancer, been depressed and pissed off, sometimes have to postpone a class because of low enrollment, and have never published anything. Unless you count this!
Join the next Money and Your Business teleclass on Saturdays starting April 7th! We look deeply at success, fears, how we feel about marketing, money, and what’s the worst that could happen in our working life!