The other day, I was watching a short video by a young man who started a daily blog some years ago….
….who is now so successful, he was on Oprah last year as a representative of the next generation of personal development teachers.
(His name is Mastin Kipp).
While I don’t know him personally, I have met more successful, interesting, movers-and-shakers sorts of people in the past couple of years than I ever knew before.
I started thinking about how funny that we humans have celebrities, those we admire and are inspired by.
Admiring someone is generally a very joyful experience. There they are, being themselves, and WE feel different just by hearing them, being in their presence, watching how they relate to others, feeling their energy.
I’ve been to personal growth workshops in the past where I was asked to consider who I hold in great esteem, who I trust, love, and feel very grateful for, past or present.
Some of the people on my list are the very same as on other peoples’ lists: Gandhi, Byron Katie, Adyashanti, Martin Luther King, Oprah, Martha Graham, Pema Chodron, Desmond Tutu, Cheri Huber, Jesus.
Now think about yourself and how you measure up to all those others. If you entered a room where they were all hanging out, talking, laughing, being….
….how would you feel?
There is a good reason I bring this up. Trust me. It’s called COMPARISON.
It happens.
So I’m watching Mastin and his adorable and sincere manner, and suddenly the thought enters: I’m old enough to be his mother.
I’ll never be on Oprah.
Too late.
I don’t have much time.
I dinked around so long having emotional and spiritual crises, addictive behavior, was insecure, unstable, low confidence, that I lost my chance to be a STAR.
Of course, I had to chuckle about one second later. But you may find these kinds of thoughts stick around awhile, and don’t feel so hot.
Let’s take a look.
You should have started sooner, been more confident, gotten it together, and succeeded by now……you are not as successful as you could be.
Is that true?
Yes! I COULDA BEEN A CONTENDER!
(That’s a famous Marlon Brando scene from On The Waterfront. Say it with a thick New York accent).
Can you absolutely know that it’s true that you’re not successful YET, that you need to be more, better, bigger, different?
Are you positive your story-line needs improvement?
Even if you’re starting from scratch after a huge life transition. Even if you just got divorced, or found out you have cancer. Even if you thought you’d have “x” in your bank account by now, but instead you’re in debt.
Are you sure you failed to Get There? That you’re not living up to your potential, or being the Best You Could Be?
No.
This story may be unfolding at just the right pace, the right time, in the right manner.
But even if you said YES….keep going with your investigation of this kind of stressful thinking.
How do you react when you believe you aren’t where you COULD be? You’re aren’t as successful as THAT person over there?
Fists clenched. Working past midnight. Thinking I need to “catch up”. Anxious. Tired. Discouraged. Why bother.
Not very happy in this present moment. Images of all those amazing, incredible people who I’ve admired, and how far, far away I am from being like any of them.
Sad day.
So who would you be without the belief that you’re too late? Too old? Not accomplishing? Not meeting your top potential NOW?
Curious. Instead of feeling like a deflated balloon, I stand up. I think about writing some of my admirers a letter. I join groups that are full of awesome, interesting people. I watch my intimidated feeling turn into excitement, without the belief that I don’t cut it here.
“Everything happens at exactly the right moment, neither too soon nor too late. You don’t have to like it… it’s just easier if you do.” ~ Byron Katie
I turn the thoughts around to the opposites.
I am the best I could be, this here is excellent, I am right on time, I am on Oprah right this minute (doesn’t it make you laugh out loud for the fun of it, just to pretend? Why not?!)
This is my own STAR television show, right here, as I write these words. I am a great success, greater than ever I imagined. Life is strange, unusual, full of turns and twists and thick plots that I could have NEVER thought up on my own.
Or maybe I could have thought them up (eye twinkle).
I AM A CONTENDER!
(Remember, New York accent).
“The forward step is always moving ahead, always trying to attain what you want, whether it’s a material possession or inner peace. The forward step is very familiar: seeking and more seeking, striving and more striving, always looking for peace, always looking for happiness, looking for love. To take the backward step means to just turn around, reverse the whole process of looking for satisfaction on the outside, and look at precisely the place where you are standing. See if what you are looking for isn’t already present in your experience.” ~ Adyashanti
Can I simply rest here, now in this present moment, without believing that I missed out on something, or need to get somewhere by next week?
Phew. Yeah. I can do that.
Do you think you’ll be more successful tomorrow if you relax your comparisons today, or crank them up?
See what I mean?
“For governing a country well there is nothing better than moderation. The mark of a moderate man is freedom from his own ideas. Tolerant like the sky, all-pervading like sunlight, firm like a mountain, supple like a tree in the wind, he has no destination in view and makes use of anything life happens to bring his way. Nothing is impossible for him. Because he has let go, he can care for the people’s welfare as a mother cares for her child.” ~ Tao Te Ching #59
Much love, Grace