I want more money.
This belief is not only pervasive, but often, it’s also embarrassing!
It’s like, I want more money but I hate to admit it. I shouldn’t want more money, I hate wanting more money, I’m comfortable without money, I don’t even like the fact that it appears that I need it. Ever.
If you’ve seen that you don’t NEED more money, you are OK with very small amounts of money, you actually aren’t even interested in buying stuff or upgrading things like your furniture…..
…..it can be tricky to access the inner beliefs about this thing called money and what’s really bothering you.
It’s a little bit like a love/hate relationship, only not that dramatic. Annoying instead. Off. Not exactly loving, kind, trusting and totally relaxed.
One of my favorite insights came when I began to take Rumi’s advice to heart and in my imagination, gave Money a persona.
You can do this right now, as you read, if you notice there’s any little discord around money and how you experience it in your mind and heart (and body).
If Money knocked on your door right now….what would he or she look like? What would the mood of this entity be? How would he or she regard YOU?
Six years ago is when I realized that if Money knocked on my door, and I opened it….
….what I would see was a homeless addict dressed in rags, holding a cigarette in one hand, eyes flicking around like he’s scared of being followed and doesn’t give a rats ass about whether or not I know him.
Yikes.
Fortunately, I invited him within, and looked very deeply and carefully about why he looked like that, and what I imagined was terrible or dangerous about having Money come inside for tea.
….The dark thought, the shame, the malice, meet them at the door laughing, and invite them in….Jalaluddin Rumi, from The Guest House
But your image of Money may be less severe. It can change, as circumstances change.
If you can picture your relationship with Money (I do this exercise with people around their relationship with Food as well) what would it appear to look like?
Now ask yourself if you want more of this Money in your life?
Why or why not? What would it give you that feels positive? What would it give you that’s not so positive?
Is this Money a guest you would rather not entertain?
Is it true that you want MORE money?
No. Not if it means needing it, having to pay attention to it, having to ask people for it, charging for services, trading it for food and shelter.
Squirm squirm. Can we talk about something else?
How do you react when you believe this thought that Money is a troubling thing, and you’d rather not get involved?
Sad. Frustrated. Uncertain.
Admonishing myself for not figuring it out sooner. Chiding those Other People With Money for being greedy, selfish, lucky, focused, realistic, immature, materialistic, non-spiritual.
With the thought and the uncomfortable feelings that follow, I’m stuck.
So, who would you be without the belief that it’s tough to want money, or that you wish you didn’t need it, or that there’s something wrong with you? Without the belief in clutching, resistance, feeling “against” the whole situation?
“So if you have no money, you can apply your mind and say, ‘What action can I take?’ And then become still. Don’t apply your mind without the stillness because, if you start applying your mind without the stillness, you might very soon lose yourself in the mind and that turns into worry. Worry means the mind is controlling you. Worry is always pointless. A solution never comes out of worry.” ~ Eckhart Tolle
Without the belief that Money is an uncomfortable guest, a problematic person, you may find a spark of joy and excitement about attraction to it.
Or, if that’s going a bit far a bit too fast, like getting married after three dates….you may feel compassion for your humanness, for wanting more of this thing called Money….
….for having a body that apparently needs a roof, clothing, food.
….for having a mind that enjoys books, adventures, education.
I turn the thoughts around: I want more money, and it’s OK, it’s natural, it’s part of my spiritual life.
Perhaps I want more “thinking” clearly about money. I want more knowledge, maturity, peace, trust, security about myself.
Could it be that I want more connection to others, more exchange with others, contact, vulnerability, beauty, sharing….and perhaps this need/want for Money has to do with making peace about all this?
If you’re wanting to begin an interesting journey around how you truly feel about Money in your life, no matter how much you have (or don’t have) and you’d like to join a group to do it….
….next week on Wednesday 5:15-6:45 pm PT we begin the 8 week journey into examining the thinking with a live teleclass, limited to 10 people, using The Work to question the beliefs that aren’t so peaceful when it comes to Money.
Click here to register: Investigating Money. Or write grace@workwithgrace.com with questions.
Much love, Grace