Tag: tao te ching

Posted on

The Joy of Welcoming True Feedback–Yippee!

Someone wrote to me saying Grace Notes are too long.

I’ve heard it before (big surprise, right)?

Who would have known the quiet one in the back could wax on, chattering away, or raise their hand and share, or go on stage to perform or lead a retreat, or write daily notes.

But I LOVED that honesty. Very refreshing.

When people give me real, authentic feedback, I am honored.

So let’s see if I can make this shorter today….(stop jumping for joy, I saw that).

Here’s the way to clearly identify your stressful concept: “if someone offers a criticism, a correction, a preference, a suggestion….it means ______.”

Pick any time you felt a jolt in your gut or maybe a waft of disappointment drift by when someone shares with you some feedback, fill in that blank.

The stress feels like this:

Oh. Bummer. Rats. Shoot. I did it wrong. I need to change. Eck. They shouldn’t say that. They don’t like me. Embarrassed. Dang it. Hmm. Sad day. Help. No. Ouch.

Now, you’ve got several thoughts written down. Then you take one of them through the four questions.

Who would you be without the belief that you did something wrong, or disappointed someone (and that’s wrong) or were too much, too little, off, inadequate, mistaken, you lost out, it hurt?

“When I don’t look for approval outside me, I remain as approval. And through inquiry I have come to see that I want you to approve of what you approve of, because I love you. What you approve of is what I want. That’s love–it wouldn’t change anything. It already has everything it wants. It already IS everything it wants, just the way it wants it.” ~ Byron Katie

So thrilling!

Turns out, today I don’t think, research, contemplate or spend so much time on Grace Notes. I could use more time.

Oh boy, I love that person. They gave me such great advice!

“The Master doesn’t seek fulfillment. Not seeking, not expecting, she is present, and can welcome all things.” ~ Tao Te Ching #15

Much love, Grace

P.S. Someone wrote asking if people who are NOT enrolled in the 3 month Eating Peace Program can register for the Eating Peace 3-day workshop. The answer is YES. About 4 spots left.

Posted on

Everyone’s In A Program–Is Yours Peaceful or Run by a Dictator?

Gosh. Yesterday, I had a slightly sore throat and some sneezing. I stayed up late dancing. I didn’t end up writing my daily Grace Note on New Year’s Day.

That happens from time to time (not doing something I normally do every day).

Sometimes around this time of year, people will think “I am going to do X every single day”!

Or…”I am NOT going to do Y ever! I’m quitting that!!!”

Nothing wrong with either one.

Except if you’re coming from the voice of the dictator….without looking more deeply at what got you into that place where you hate yourself, hate your actions, feel frustrated.

Why have you been choosing to Do or Not Do things you really think would be helpful for your life? What’s up about that, anyway?

You can’t just suddenly decide “Damn it, here’s how its gonna be!” without gathering support and feeling at least a tiny bit of love about it, or willingness to understand your patterns.

Otherwise, like I said, the dictator is running the show.

And you know what happens when the dictator runs the show….

….rebellion. Guerilla warfare.

Casualties.

The other day I heard from the sweetest inquirer who is suffering deeply by trying to drown her feelings in alcohol, food, and self-hate.

I remember having the same feelings on that kind of intense scale, so agonizing.

One of the very first steps anyone can take that can change one’s life, totally and completely, in almost inexplicable ways….

….is to share what you’re feeling honestly with other people.

Say it.

Write it.

Go to a meeting.

Go to a support group, a therapy group.

Do The Work with another person who facilitates you.

Hang out with other people who speak the same language and realize you’re not alone.

“I am hurting. I am dying. I am doing things I actually hate doing, that feel painful. How did YOU stop? How did YOU change? I feel powerless over this. I need help. I need to connect.”

In the end, we’re all working a “program” of sorts.

A program to live peacefully in our own skin. To know serenity. To not have to force ourselves to do anything we don’t want to do. To take care of ourselves in the most loving, kind, unconditional way.

Because you are reading this, because you are a human being, you can, and will, find peace even when you believe it’s not available to you. Reality is the Program.

That’s the way of it. It’s just a matter of time.

“Every being in the universe is an expression of the Tao….The Tao gives birth to all beings, nourishes them, maintains them, cares for them, comforts them, protects the, takes them back to itself, creating without possessing, acting without expecting, guiding without interfering.” ~ Tao Te Ching #51

Notice if what you’re thinking feels horrible, or full of dread….or simple and peaceful.

If it’s the first, then you know that what you’re thinking is Not Actually True.

Because truth feels kind, expansive, open, neutral, mysterious, empty, loving, detached, simple.

Connect with others. Why not today?

You’re on the program anyway, it’s not as hard as you think.

Much love, Grace

P.S. The Work on MONEY, receiving, spending, debt, wealth, what we think money will provide or take away. Questioning your beliefs about money can make all the difference in the world. Click here to register for money teleclass.

Posted on

Let Go Of That Decision, Notice Fulfillment Now

I have to make the right decision!
Question Your Need To Make The Right Decision

I’m not heading to Los Angeles to the Cleanse after all.

It’s weird the way things unfold. Almost never as expected, never as truly anticipated.

In fact, right now I really have no idea what’s happening next week!

Except it’s not likely I’ll be driving to the airport and getting on an airplane, given I just cancelled my flights. Nope, I’ll be right here in Seattle doing many family things with my kid who is home from college, and my husband who’s having a birthday.

Staying home seems the way of it.

It doesn’t even seem like Staying Home Vs. Going To An Event is a pro-con situation. Both are fantastic.

I can even picture the joy of either one of them, the fun of each day, the activities that could be possible, the insights, the awareness, the learning, the laughing.

Sometimes….people have a bit of trouble when two choices both seem wonderful.

When there are so many possibilities!

Here’s a sneaky little thought that I discovered would sometimes cloud my clarity and make me very torn between two decisions, if I started to believe it:

Later, in the future, it would be *terrible* to feel regret about this decision. 

Therefore, I must prevent that bad, shameful, guilty, disappointed feeling from ever happening.

The way to prevent that terrible, shameful, my-fault feeling from happening, is to make DANG SURE you make the right decision NOW so you feel all good later on….

….like you can say “I made the right decision, I rocked it, I made this happen, yeah baby!”

And strut across the room with confidence and pride.

Not the opposite outcome. The opposite would suck.

The opposite is very possible….so WATCH OUT.

Pause.

Pretty stressful, right?

If so much is weighing on a future moment when it could be your entire fault that you feel disappointed, or happy, then you may carry the weight of responsibility that’s very crushing.

Who would you be without the belief that this decision in the present moment is creating a future experience of happiness OR unhappiness?

Who would you be without the belief that a decision between two, or several, options is CRITICAL for your happiness? Or even other peoples’ happiness?

Wow. Seriously?

But all the books and teachings and philosophies scream that whatever I decide today invents my future, creates my reality later on….right?

It’s up to me! I needa make a good decision, really….I have to pick the “right” sandwich on the menu or I’ll have a sucky or fabulous time eating lunch.

There is a Wrong Decision and a Right Decision.

Isn’t there?

Stop!

You’re supposed to know the future?

Who would you be without that thought?

Back to what’s going on HERE.

Noticing that right now today, stuff is happening, options are being presented. I am dreaming of events, moments, time passing, jet planes, airports, hugging people, staying right here in this city, connection, conversations, being with people I absolutely love….strangers or family….all of it different incredible flavors.

Noticing that no matter where I am, it’s possible to enjoy what is.

Turning the thoughts around….

….there is absolutely no way to know how the future will go. It doesn’t matter what I choose. I look at the options with joy, I pick, it’s over.

Balance.

What if I couldn’t miss anything? What if there is no rhyme or reason or need to do anything for this outcome I think I seek? What if nothing is required?

What if there is no preventing disappointment, or generating pride, no way to determine success or failure, based on the decision? 

What if none of this is *entirely* up to me? 

I notice a great peace with people who stop trying to make the right decision with such vengeance.

“The Master stays behind; that is why she is ahead. She is detached from all things; that is why she is one with them. Because she has let go of herself, she is perfectly fulfilled.” ~ Tao Te Ching #7

Stay, go.

Right now, good.

Put down your burden. Fulfilled right now.

Much love, Grace

Click here to register for MONEY teleclass Tuesdays 5:15 pm Pacific time 8 weeks, teleclass, awesome insights into learning to love your Money Story.

Posted on

Even In The Midst of Sorrow….Thank You

One day a very dear old friend left me a message on my voice mail in the midst of working with clients much of the day. He said he was looking forward to getting together, and by the way, felt so heavy-hearted that day with the News.

“What news?” I thought, with a zap of adrenaline.

Uh oh.

What happened? What natural disaster, or death tragedy?

It turned out a man had gone into a school and killed 28 people, the majority of them children.

I’ve written in the past about how the pain of fearing for the welfare of a child is terrible.

Then here comes evidence that bad things happen. Horrifying things. Senseless, awful violence.

How could this ever happen?

It’s so one-track minded, believing painful repetitive beliefs. Not taking into account MORE than just the mind and its perceptions.

Sense-Less.

Not sensing love, colors, smells, touch, connection, gravity, wonder, leaves, sounds, music, breezes, skin, shoes, horns, voices, rain, silverware, sky.

I remember Katie’s story when she reports having a man pull a gun on her. She said that she had the thought, right when he did this, that she hoped he didn’t shoot her, for his own sake.

Today my sweet prayer for everyone here, everyone on the planet, is that they remember how big they are. How much more than what they think.

Everyone, every single person, is full of possibility, potential, love, the life force.

If there is anyone out there suffering, I am sorry, please forgive me, I love you….thank you, thank you.

I am so glad you’re here, you have no idea.

I am so touched that you’ve made it this far, that you’re alive, that you have such a beautiful heart, that you care so much.

Everything is OK.

Even in the midst of profound sadness, fear, rage, or despair that appears to happen….especially in the middle of that.

“There was something formless and perfect before the universe was born. It is serene. Empty. Solitary. Unchanging. Infinite. Eternally present. It is the mother of the universe. For lack of a better name, I call it the Tao. It flows through all things, inside and outside, and returns to the origin of all things.” ~ Tao Te Ching #25

Much love and gratitude, Grace

Posted on

Mindfulness: Doing Nothing Is Easier Than You Think

thay-king-300x222
Martin Luther Kind and Thich Nhat Hahn: Peacemakers

Thich Nhat Hanh is a rather famous meditation teacher and spiritual leader in the Buddhist tradition.

Not long ago, I was listening to him talk about being mindful in every moment.

He said he enjoyed breathing mindfully, pouring and drinking his tea mindfully, walking mindfully, bringing his mind home to the present, using concentration.

Ahhhh. Good. Yes, cool.

But wait. THEN, he said something about sitting on your computer for three hours and forgetting you have a body.

Or walking very fast to get from here to there. Or eating quickly because you’re super hungry but you can’t be bothered to stop to enjoy the taste. Or holding it when you have to pee because you’re absorbed in something.

These are not mindful.

Um. Oh.

Mindfulness. It’s sooooo slow, though. It’s not exactly “exciting”. It can’t be that easy!

I mean, I have work to do. Programs to create, service to provide, money to make, success to achieve.

A great teacher and mentor of mine asked me “What do you want? If you could have one thing, what would it be…the thing you want the most?”

Really, really. What. Do. You. Want?

And then I realized…I don’t even know.

Awakening? Success? Ecstasy?

Suddenly I remembered….this allowing the mind to rest here in the body, including every sense, aware of everything here in the present, is pretty easy.

Like, crazy ridiculous easy. You don’t have to do anything.

Literally…nothing. You can stop trying. Stop looking for what is wanted.

It is not only easy…it is joyful.

“When you breathe in, you know you are alive. Because someone who is dead doesn’t breathe anymore. Breathing in, I know I am alive. I have a body. I can get in touch with the many wonders of life. Sunshine. Rain. Flowers. River. People. Joy, right away. Joy is born from mindfulness, concentration, insight.” ~ Thich Nhat Hanh

Even if something difficult is happening. Sickness, loss, break-ups, destruction, suffering.

Even if I *think* this is not enough, just couldn’t be good enough, best enough, fine enough, big enough….

….I stop, anyway.

Who would you be without the thought that your present moment, this moment, is not quite enough, or missing something? That you have to get somewhere else, besides here right now?

I’d relax so deeply, it would be amazing.

Instead of “I WOULD relax so deeply, it WOULD be amazing” the whole experience suddenly becomes “I AM relaxed so deeply, this IS amazing.”

Turning the thoughts around: right here, right now, is enough, is plenty, is more than enough. 

It is overflowing, full, moving, alive.

Even if I’m crying, or afraid, or disappointed…these emotions are not all that is happening in this moment, there is much more.

Who are you right now without any belief that you need more than mindfulness, awareness, being still? That you need more than imagining who you would be without thought?

It’s a fun mystery.

“Each separate being returns to the common source. Returning to the source is serenity.” ~ Tao Te Ching #16

Much Love,  Grace

Posted on

Those Troubling Relationships Were Perfect For You

This past week the Year of Inquiry participants started in our very first month together as we gather for twelve months on the phone to do inquiry.
We have a different topic every month, all year.
What’s the first topic we address?
Why, Family of Origin of course. The original foundational experiences that seem to have shaped us.
[Cut to The Sound of Music. Maria is playing her guitar and singing“we start at the very beginning, it’s the very best place to start…”]
Family of Origin was called FOO in my Behavioral Science graduate school program. I love calling it FOO.
It reminds me of taking something with greater levity, in fact really goofy….like saying Fooey! Foo Boo! Foo Poo!
But I know, it doesn’t always seem so light. Even if the memories run way back, and seem like they happened a long, long time ago.
These are the people who influenced us strongly. These people we’ve spent a lot of time with when we were kids, or perhaps we’ve longed for their presence in our lives. We’ve felt like something was missing, or wrong, or terrible, when it comes to them.
Maybe we just had one big run-in with that person, and we still remember the incident sharply, and the jab we felt in our gut at the time.
People mostly picked “mom” or “dad” to do The Work on, but this is not required. Siblings, grandparents, neighbors, cousins, teachers.
One inquirer had a very difficult experience with a doctor she saw when she was a teenager.
The great thing about this approach to self-inquiry, is that YOUR life, and even your mind, right now, as it remembers your life, is guiding you in the most perfect way possible to your freedom.
I love the way that happens.
That person who stimulated irritation, sadness, fear, anxiety, hatred, nervousness or grief inside you….that’s the person to start with.
“Your daughter is the perfect daughter for you, because she’s going to bring up every un-investigated concept you have until you get a clue about reality. That’s her job. Everything has its job. This candle’s job is to burn, this rose’s job is to blossom, your daughter’s job is to use drugs, my job is to drink my tea right now. And when you understand, she’ll follow you, she’ll understand. It’s a law, because she’s your projection. When you move into the polarity of truth, so will she. Hell here, hell there. Peace here, peace there.” ~ Byron Katie
 
Those FOO are the perfect FOO for me. This doesn’t mean I do a number on myself and switch to believing it’s all my fault and I’m the one who had the wrong view…..not at all. The projection is innocent.
I grew into believing concepts, without investigating, in the presence of these people.
Now, I get to question my thinking, and notice I have the most amazing, beautiful sisters I could ever dream of–all so powerful, so brilliant, so unique. I have a mother who is kind, loving, independent, a huge contributor to the city we live in. I have a father, grandparents, and extended family in every direction who are the most intriguing, fascinating, wonderful people (even though they’ve all passed away).
Each person a curious facet of the puzzle of unraveling a belief-system, so the world is getting bigger and bigger.
If you’d like to take a look at important relationships in your life, long past or currently present (you get to choose who) come join the 8 week class that starts Mondays, Sept 22nd – November 10th. We meet from 9-10:30 am Pacific Time.
Click HERE to register.
“There is no greater illusion than fear, no greater wrong than preparing to defend yourself, no greater misfortune than having an enemy.” ~ Tao Te Ching #46
 
Much Love, 

Grace

Posted on

Giving Up Being Stuck in Dreams, Photo Albums and Pictures

The other night I had a fascinating dream.

Do you remember your dreams? Some people remember them all, some remember none of them, some remember only from time to time, some have the same dream over and over again.

Dreams are quite intriguing. I used to write a lot of them down, they would pour out of me like a short novel. I had to do it upon waking since the memory and images would fade away, disappearing into the fog, unless I got them quick on paper.

In my dream, I was entering a large convention center. It was sparkling clean, the sun was magnificently bright like California, the stairs going up and in were white, the building was white stone, elegant.

Other people were also entering the building, and the cool, smooth marble hotel lobby. The sound of voices and excited talking, murmuring, conversations was everywhere.

As I entered the main convention room, whomever was on the stage was in the far distance. There was already a large crowd in the audience, with only a few rows of chairs available at the back of the room.

I suddenly realized, in the dream, that this was the first time The School for The Work was being led by someone other than Byron Katie.

I woke up thinking about time passing, life unfolding, and how powerful that we imagine all comings and goings, past and future, the absolutely stunning change occurring constantly, in every day that goes by.
Many of us keep photo albums. A picture is taken, and saved. When we look at old photos of times gone past, it can evoke many other images, memories, thoughts, feelings.
The thing is, we don’t need to look at a scrapbook or photo album to recall places, relationships, or to recognize how something once was and how different it is now.
I once had a really close friend who did The Work with me a lot. We facilitated each other through the four questions.
One day we decided to start doing The Work on loss. We started with easier stuff than people.
My friend asked me what I was most afraid of losing? I thought and thought. My house? My precious bracelet? My computer?
I asked her what she was most afraid of losing. She said her photo album. Especially of her kid growing up.
Inside, I was like “seriously?”
But as I thought about it, I realized I had sometimes avoided looking at pictures of the past, or the future, because it made me SAD!
“I want everything to be like it was before, I don’t want it to change, I want people to stay alive, I want my kids to be little again.”

Who would you be without those thoughts? Without thinking, as you become keenly aware of change, that it’s sad, or hard, or difficult, or that you wish for those other days?

I would look at the pictures and feel the sweetest joy in remembering that time. I would feel the feelings come and go, relaxing, knowing these are just images, and no longer exist.

This is true about photos I’m actually holding in my hand, looking at, or dreams I have about the future.

“Life without a reason, a purpose, a position… the mind is frightened of this because then ‘my life’ is over with, and life lives itself and moves from itself in a totally different dimension. This way of living is just life moving. That’s all….This awareness and life are one thing, one movement, one happening, in this moment — unfolding without reason, without goal, without direction.The only thing that makes it difficult to find that state and remain in that state is people wanting to retain their position in space and time. “I want to know where I’m going. I want to know if I’ve arrived. I want to know who to love and hate. I want to know. I don’t really want to be; I want to know. Isn’t enlightenment the ultimate state of knowing?” No. It’s the ultimate state of being. The price is knowing.” ~ Adyashanti

When I give up knowing what these pictures really mean, whether real pictures in a photo album or dream pictures in my head, I just BE.

I’m sitting, being with these images, feeling stillness inside.

Noticing how strange and wonderful life is, how it changes, sometimes wildly, dramatically, people and places coming and going.

“Colors blind the eye. Sounds deafen the ear. Flavors numb the taste. Thoughts weaken the mind. Desires wither the heart. The Master observes the world but trusts his inner vision. He allows things to come and go. His heart is open as the sky.” ~ Tao Te Ching #12

A picture enters the mind (something 1000 times a day, right?) and you can trust it to come and go.

“I want everything to change and move, I want people to live and die, I want my kids to live and die, I want everything to happen the way it happens, then and now and later.”

Wow. That’s can be a startling turnaround.

But how amazing to feel the freedom of a heart as open as the sky.

Much Love, 

Grace

Posted on

Yes? No? Maybe? Finding Freedom From Gut-Wrenching Indecision

Oooh boy, when it comes to making decisions, sometimes it produces a lot of stress inside.

What should I do?! Which should I pick?! What if I regret it?!

This past week I’ve talked with not one, not two, not three, but FOUR wonderful inquirers on this topic of making a decision….

….and how much it hurts.

The pressure, the worry, the fear.

Inquirers I spoke with either had a decision they just made that was painful, or an impending deadline with a big decision looming, or the hand-wringing decision where the list of pros and cons seems about the same, so you can’t decide.

But before I say more about inquiry and decisions….some of you have asked about upcoming teleclasses.

I’ll be offering my powerful 8 week Relationship Hell to Heaven teleclass starting Monday, Sept. 22 at 9-10:30 am Pacific time.

Any relationship will work as your starting point.

Anyone you’ve argued with or felt disturbed by. We start from the beginning to look deeply at that person, those conditions, those situations…and understand what really bothers us, what’s true and what’s false.

More on this later, but if you want to register, you can click the button at the end of the email. If you have questions, hit reply and I’ll answer.

So back to the decision drawing board….

….Ha ha, isn’t what I just did just like making decisions sometimes?

You start contemplating a problem, a dilemma, or a choice, and you begin to sort out a few ideas about each. You research and collect some information. You’ve got an idea in mind, why you’re even thinking about all this in the first place.

And then, you switch the subject.

Whatevah, I can’t make a decision right now…I’ll wait and see.

It doesn’t come easily. Your mind gets tired. You ask your friends and family to all listen to your dilemma and put in a vote.

A friend once told me about how she had so much trouble making decisions at one point in her life, that if she was presented with two options for events in one night, she’d get sick to her stomach.

She would start driving to one, change her mind and turn the car around to head to the other, then turn the car around again to head back to the first.

She wanted to be in both places at once.

This might seem minor, but the anxiety can be monumental.

The first thing to do is to see what your mind is telling you about this decision. It may not be very friendly.

  • If I don’t say yes, I’ll miss a huge opportunity
  • If I don’t say yes, I’ll have nothing
  • If I don’t choose the right thing, something terrible will happen
  • I have to make the right decision
  • It’s possible to make the wrong decision
  • I could ruin my life or someone else’s life if I make this decision
  • What I say “no” to, I will lose forever
The dilemmas I heard about this week were big. Whether or not to have a baby, deciding between two schools for a child, what to do with a beloved pet, whether or not to enroll in a program.

I just about exploded my own head with important decisions: what to major in at school, should I go to graduate school, should I get married, buy that house or this house, offer this program, quit my part time job, get a job over there, homeschool my kids…

I think I drove my friends seriously crazy with that decision about homeschooling kids! (More on that one in a past Grace Note).

So let’s look at these core thoughts about decisions, and what the REAL fear is.

Is it true that you have to say yes, or lose something? Are you sure YOU *have* to make the right decision? Are you positive that if it goes bad later on, it will be because of YOUR decision? Are you sure you couldn’t handle a little disappointment, or new information, down the line in the future?

Well….no. Since you put it that way.

I have no idea what will happen tomorrow. Or next week. Or after I decide. Life will carry on, until it doesn’t.

How do you react when you think you’re in charge? When you think it’s all on you, your the one who has to make it happen? When your actions have to be right, not wrong, and your future MUST be favorable?

Yikes! So much banking on this future, so much fear of feeling bad later on and trying to avoid feeling bad or feeling regret or feeling like I lost something!

Who would you be without that belief, if you couldn’t think the thoughts that you need to make the right choice, it HAS to be good, you can’t make a mistake, you might hurt someone or yourself, you have to be very careful?

Woah.

Ha ha. Not so serious.

“You can sit there and think, ‘Oh, I need to do something with my stocks’, and then you can inquire. Is It True? No, I can’t really know that…..So you just let the process have you. You just sit there with what your passion is, and read, and watch the Internet and let it educate you. And the decision will come from that, at the perfect time. It’s a beautiful thing. You’ll lose money because of that decision, or you’ll make money. As it should be. But when you think you’re supposed to do something with your stocks and imagine that you’re the doer, that’s pure delusion. Just follow your passion. Do what you love, inquire, and have a happy life while you’re doing it.” ~ Byron Katie

Turning the thoughts around:

  • If I say yes, I’ll miss a huge opportunity….if I say yes OR no, I’ll always have opportunity, as long as I’m alive
  • If I say yes, I’ll have nothing….I love nothing, space, emptiness
  • There is no right or wrong thing, and something wonderful will happen….it always does
  • I do not have to make the right decision…there is no right or wrong decision, I can work with whatever happens
  • It’s impossible to make the wrong decision
  • I could save, create, build, expand my life or someone else’s life if I make this decision
  • What I say “no” to, I will gain forever

Couldn’t these thoughts be just as true, or truer about making decisions?

And I love what one fabulous inquirer found just yesterday in playing with the turnarounds all the way:

“A right decision has to un-make me.”

Giggling! So true!

All my effort, anxiety, pushing, poking, weighing-in, analyzing….

….all of it assisting the un-doing of “me” as the boss of the future, when it comes to decisions.

“In the pursuit of knowledge, every day something is added. In the practice of the Tao, every day something is dropped. Less and less do you need to force things, until finally you arrive at non-action. When nothing is done, nothing is left undone. True mastery can be gained by letting things go their own way. It can’t be gained by interfering.” ~ Tao Te Ching #48

And here’s the link if you want to sign up for Relationship Hell to Heaven, 8 weeks of doing The Work on People. Freedom!

Click here to read all about it, and register.

Much Love, Grace

Posted on

Beware! Rotten, Smelly, Disgusting Horror Story!

I’m back in my home Seattle. At least that is what they call this area on planet earth.

I notice there is something inside, a vast, exciting inner place that is true home and goes with me everywhere…..the same one that’s in you.

As this body moved in a car from south to north, the temperature dropped about 30 degrees fahrenheit. I stopped sweating.

Arriving around midnight, bringing everything inside, I was soon asleep.

But in the morning….a smell.

Something in the kitchen is rotten. I open the fridge. All the food in the refrigerator last week before I left is still in the same tubs, leftovers, jars or bags. Almost everything untouched and completely rotten.

The most disgusting being chicken innards that were supposed to be used for soup or something. The stink was sooooo gross I tried not to breathe through my nose as I threw it in the waste. I started cleaning out the fridge, wiping down the counter top, emptying the dishwasher, filling it back up again with dishes.

The Voice: Why doesn’t anyone around here notice these things and CLEAN them BEFORE it starts to smell like a CESSPOOL?

“Is it that hard??!!”

I thought as I took two completely rotten bananas that were sitting in the fruit bowl on the counter outside to the yard waste bin.

And then within seconds…noticing…my belief that this entire room (called a kitchen) should look different than it looks right now. And SMELL different by the way. Jeez!

Is it true?

Yes. Are you serious? I can’t believe you asked me that.

Can you absolutely know that it’s true, it shouldn’t smell this way, it should be cleaner, it should be different?

No.

How do you react?

Quick! It’s someone else’s fault! They should have cleaned up! Fuming, irritated, annoyed, frustrated. Thinking about how to solve this “problem”.

But who would you be without that belief that this should smell different than it does?

Suddenly, laughing.

Amused at the complete disgusting-ness of rotting meat, moldy rice, moldy pizza, fermenting fruit, the hairy grayish white things growing all over the beans, cheese, the leftovers.

Without the thought, I notice I move to clean, I start washing, I spray, I throw out. It’s over in about 15 minutes probably.

Turning the thought around: my thinking shouldn’t smell or be so rotten. No kidding.

“I never have the sense that anything I haven’t done is undone. I see the things that don’t get done as things that need a different timing: I and the world are better off without them, for now.” ~ Byron Katie

Could the timing of even this be perfect?

I get to enter the house and join with it again, talk to the kitchen by cleaning it and lovingly wiping its counters.

Could it be I am the luckiest person in the world, to get to empty all the rotten stuff, scrub, vacuum, sparkle? To be amazed at nature taking its course? And then go to the store and fill the empty clean fridge with many items, like freshly picked blueberries the size of gigantic marbles?

Yes, it’s actually sort of exciting and wonderful. I love this kitchen. I love this place. I guess I needed to do a little cleaning out today of quite a few rotten items.

They were in my mind.

Was it that hard??!! Phew. No.

“If you want to accord with the Tao, just do your job, then let go.” ~ Tao Te Ching #24

Love, Grace

 
Posted on

You Have To Do Stuff To Succeed–Is That True?

I was sitting on the squishy white sofa, avocado green pillow at my back, my friend Gail next to me on my right. The overhead fan slowly spun above, and the room soft and cool. Gathered ’round are 8 other friends in comfy chairs. The room is quiet, but buzzing with silent energy.

Then something happened inside my mind and heart, and it was very, very good.

So good I was moved to tears. They streamed down my cheeks for the sheer gratitude and surprise and recognition.

I’ll try to explain what it was.

I’m on retreat with a small group of friends, as you know, exploring reality…..my favorite.

Of course, every single day is an exploration of reality. You’re doing it today, yourself.

But there I was, in meditation, and thinking about consciousness. We were contemplating familiar questions many spiritual teachers ask “Who is looking? Who is listening? What is it that is aware right now?”

I was talking with Ross, the teacher I’ve been with on retreat, and inquiring into these questions. I didn’t really get it…even though I could feel something potent.

Ross asked me “Where do your words come from right now, as you’re talking? Right NOW?”

And suddenly I could see how immediate were these words that spilled out of my mouth, the words that formed a question I had just asked, or a sentence I had just spoken.

The sound of these words was born, just a split second ago. The feeling behind these words was flowing forth. I didn’t invent them, they simply were created.

I could feel where these words just came from, so very close. Like this sensation of nothing becoming something. A fabulous empty vast energy.

Where do your words come from, when you are talking?

Is everything like this? It is simply born, without me doing anything, really?

You have to “do” things….to live well, to succeed, to achieve, to get something, to wake up, to make peace, to have good relationships, to make money. All of these states require YOU to DO something to get them.

Is that true?

Yes. At least that’s what I’ve always thought. Of course I have to do things! Are you NUTS?! I would otherwise sit around all day snacking and staring into space.

But are you sure you have to do stuff? Are you sure you must manage, direct, and do?

No. I’m not sure anymore. No. This is suddenly today, much less true than ever before today.

How do you react when you believe you have to do things in life?

I know it’s a weird question, a weird concept. So much of what we hear is how we HAVE to, we MUST, we SHOULD (fill in the blank).

But who would you be without that thought? Who would you be without the belief that you have to do anything?

As Adyashanti once said when I was on retreat with him, just try to sit on the couch for once, without making yourself get up….see if you can get up when you get up, no forcing.

HUH?

But wait.

Without getting all deep and mixed up and crazy about it, I see who I would be without the thought that I need to do anything in order to be happy.

It’s astonishing.

Very exciting. Unexpected.

Not resigned, slow, waiting, stubborn, or giving up. Not that kind of non-doing. This is a thrill of watching whatever is created in any moment. Paying attention. Noticing that stuff happens constantly, and you can do what you do and relax.

“You know, all that’s required of me is that I be good enough just to sit in this chair now. It’s doesn’t matter what my mind says. That’s all that’s required of me….Only a huge ego could say that you’re supposed to be doing something that you’re not doing.” ~ Byron Katie

I turn the thoughts around: You have to Un-Do things, or donothing….to live well, to succeed, to achieve, to get something, to wake up, to make peace, to have good relationships, to make money.

None of these states require YOU to DO anything to get them.

Just be yourself instead.

A gorgeous being of love, light, peace, wonder.

And if you’re not sure that’s true….question your stressful beliefs.

“Practice not doing, and everything will fall into place.” ~ Tao Te Ching #3

That’s what made me cry today.

Love, Grace