This past week the Year of Inquiry participants started in our very first month together as we gather for twelve months on the phone to do inquiry.
We have a different topic every month, all year.
What’s the first topic we address?
Why, Family of Origin of course. The original foundational experiences that seem to have shaped us.
[Cut to The Sound of Music. Maria is playing her guitar and singing“we start at the very beginning, it’s the very best place to start…”]
Family of Origin was called FOO in my Behavioral Science graduate school program. I love calling it FOO.
It reminds me of taking something with greater levity, in fact really goofy….like saying Fooey! Foo Boo! Foo Poo!
But I know, it doesn’t always seem so light. Even if the memories run way back, and seem like they happened a long, long time ago.
These are the people who influenced us strongly. These people we’ve spent a lot of time with when we were kids, or perhaps we’ve longed for their presence in our lives. We’ve felt like something was missing, or wrong, or terrible, when it comes to them.
Maybe we just had one big run-in with that person, and we still remember the incident sharply, and the jab we felt in our gut at the time.
People mostly picked “mom” or “dad” to do The Work on, but this is not required. Siblings, grandparents, neighbors, cousins, teachers.
One inquirer had a very difficult experience with a doctor she saw when she was a teenager.
The great thing about this approach to self-inquiry, is that YOUR life, and even your mind, right now, as it remembers your life, is guiding you in the most perfect way possible to your freedom.
I love the way that happens.
That person who stimulated irritation, sadness, fear, anxiety, hatred, nervousness or grief inside you….that’s the person to start with.
“Your daughter is the perfect daughter for you, because she’s going to bring up every un-investigated concept you have until you get a clue about reality. That’s her job. Everything has its job. This candle’s job is to burn, this rose’s job is to blossom, your daughter’s job is to use drugs, my job is to drink my tea right now. And when you understand, she’ll follow you, she’ll understand. It’s a law, because she’s your projection. When you move into the polarity of truth, so will she. Hell here, hell there. Peace here, peace there.” ~ Byron Katie
Those FOO are the perfect FOO for me. This doesn’t mean I do a number on myself and switch to believing it’s all my fault and I’m the one who had the wrong view…..not at all. The projection is innocent.
I grew into believing concepts, without investigating, in the presence of these people.
Now, I get to question my thinking, and notice I have the most amazing, beautiful sisters I could ever dream of–all so powerful, so brilliant, so unique. I have a mother who is kind, loving, independent, a huge contributor to the city we live in. I have a father, grandparents, and extended family in every direction who are the most intriguing, fascinating, wonderful people (even though they’ve all passed away).
Each person a curious facet of the puzzle of unraveling a belief-system, so the world is getting bigger and bigger.
If you’d like to take a look at important relationships in your life, long past or currently present (you get to choose who) come join the 8 week class that starts Mondays, Sept 22nd – November 10th. We meet from 9-10:30 am Pacific Time.
Click HERE to register.
“There is no greater illusion than fear, no greater wrong than preparing to defend yourself, no greater misfortune than having an enemy.” ~ Tao Te Ching #46
Much Love,
Grace