Tag: eating

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It didn’t go my way

Eating Peace Core Basics Teleclass starts Thursday, September 8th. We meet from 9-11 am for 3 consecutive Thursdays, then skip a week, then another 3 Thursdays. Please visit here to find out more and to register.

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angry
This shouldn’t be happening! I have plans!

The truck is borrowed and in our driveway. The hard plastic storage bins are purchased in various colors, ready to be filled with what we want to keep. All the cans of old paint are piled ready to be taken to the hazardous waste station. I’ve started a pile of dump items in the middle of the back yard; completely broken chairs, moulded car seat covers, pieces of broken tile and pipes from the bathroom project several years ago.

I’ve asked my two young adult kids, and husband, to mark Labor Day weekend in their calendars for this massive overhaul work party instead of a family vacation.

That old shed is getting cleaned out, and moved to a different location in the yard. The garage is going to get smashed down, and rebuilt into a living space in the not-so-distant future.

I’ve got my sleeves rolled up. This is gonna be very satisfying!

I wake up the day before this three-day weekend full of clean-up plans, to pounding rain on the roof and a few of the plastic storage tubs filling with rain water.

Then my son calls and says….”I’ll be over soon, but I’ve really only got one day tomorrow. I’ll do the dump run, I’ll do the Goodwill run, I’ll stick around until evening….then I gotta go.”

Then my husband says….”Hey, I found a dance hall that’s OPEN on Saturday morning, so I booked it! We’ll still offer our weekend dance on Labor Day weekend!”

Then my daughter says….”I got invited to Amy’s cabin on Lopez Island leaving Saturday night. I’ll work on the garage, but I want to go!”

WHAT??!!!

No one else is taking this clean-up project seriously. They are not going to help. They are too slow. They are too busy. They don’t care. I have to do everything. 

Arrrrrggggghhhhhh!!!

Have you ever had plans, and one thing after another happens and it appears the plans you had, are not exactly going the way you thought?

When you make plans….they should THE WAY PLANNED.

Is that true?

LOL.

Oh my, that is funny. Have you noticed how often things change or go unexpectedly? How often the image of the future picture is not like we thought, at all?

The other day as I noticed this thought pouncing in to my mind like a tiger, ready to attack everyone in sight for not caring, not being helpful, or for being too slow….

….I kind of chuckled.

Because almost simultaneously, I thought….oh.

Hmmmm.

How could it be a good thing, this isn’t a three-day extravaganza of laboring, but instead, only one?

Maybe the way this is going is just right. Maybe I had all this desire and plans for the way it should look, but it’s not going that way for a good reason.

Sometimes, plans and visions in the mind appear to be interesting, or desirable, but they aren’t going to happen in just that particular way, in that particular order.

And what about plans for activities that aren’t so “perfect” and ordered?

Like the plan to skip class, avoid that person you are afraid to speak truthfully to, quit your job, marry that girl….

….or what about the plan to smoke, eat, drink, calculate, steal, force something to happen that doesn’t feel good, yet you want it anyway?

The demand to have something happen can be coming from a place in you that’s like a little toddler, or desperate, or filled with this-must-happen energy….

…..or a plan can be coming from a place in you that is more, balanced, open, willing to be flexible, and doesn’t know what’s ultimately going to happen (and OK with that).

It doesn’t matter what you’re planning, really.

If you feel furious about it not going your way, you’re going to suffer.

Here are two questions I love to ask, if I notice I’m feeling anxious (or enraged) about “my” plans not going the way I want them to:

1) What am I afraid of happening, if these plans fail? What’s the worst that could happen?

2) What do I think it means about me, about other people, about this situation, if the plans do not go as I hoped or wanted?

Sometimes, I thought plans needed to go a certain way for me to feel worthy, successful, “good”. Sometimes, I thought plans need to go a certain way so I could avoid other big dangers, and to protect myself.

But what if there’s a middle way to be with plans and planning?

As I’ve heard Byron Katie mention and speak to this process of being aware of the future: If I know I’m going on a trip, I pack my bags. But I have no idea if I’m really going on the trip, until I’m on it.

Very funny, very odd for that mind that loves plans.

So today, after only one “working” day, and another in silence, writing, bicycling and only a wee bit of further clean up….

….I can see how feeling and being and noticing who I am without the mindset “they shouldn’t have cancelled, we all should be cleaning, they are too slow, this should be finished….”

….is better than I ever could have planned.

“When you make plans and replay them in your mind, you may be projecting that the future is going to be more important than the now. But it’s not. Being one with what you’re doing, is being totally into what you are doing “now”. The energy is not diverted from what you’re doing “now” (planning) and into the future. What you are doing now (even if it’s planning) is this, here, now.” ~ Eckhart Tolle in conversation with Oprah Winfrey on video

So even the activity of planning happens, then we get to see what really happens, trusting reality, speaking up if it’s right, sharing.

I enjoy the alive, present activity of planning, if planning is called for and feels right.

I notice my legs and feet were so tired Saturday, they were throbbing by 9:00 pm. Everyone pitched in gloriously, and I loved everyone knew what they wanted to go off and do for the rest of the long weekend, enjoying themselves.

I’ve gotten a break, and writing time.

Now, I notice, is sweet. The emptier shed (not completely empty yet). The space for a dinner date with my husband, rather than working. The writing of this Grace Note. The opening of my fall calendar and noticing some items to “plan” for.

Peace, here now.

Even as a house project is apparently unfinished.

Much love,

Grace

P.S. Speaking of planning….I’m sharing my Eating Peace video today even if you have no interest or concern with eating issues, because it’s about so much more than eating. You have to plan, is that true? You have to avoid something, is that true? The only way to stop agonizing about something is to succumb to it….is that really true?

Watch here.

xo

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Eating Peace: What happens when you question “this is ugly!”

It’s so common to think your body is ugly, or some part of it is ugly, that I used to not even notice I was thinking it.

It was automatic. Like…of COURSE that needs improvement. Of COURSE that’s gross.

But after I learned how to do The Work of Byron Katie and question my stressful thoughts, I applied it to the belief “this is ugly”.

Wow.

In today’s video I share something I saw on my body not long ago, and I stared at it in fascination (a scar). In the past I would have thought of it as ugly, but on the inside I didn’t feel that old pain at all.

I give credit for that freedom to The Work.

You can do this, too.

Eating Peace: Do you think something about your body is ugly? You can find peace with this kind of thinking.
Eating Peace: Do you think something about your body is ugly? You can find peace with this kind of thinking.

Much love,

Grace
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Eating Peace: You don’t have to get it all figured out to find peace….Do This.

People ask me from time to time….how will I ever figure all my thinking out, find all the awareness I need.

Like, will I need to write things in a journal forever? Will my thoughts never end? What if I’m sick of analyzing myself?

Here’s something short and sweet to do when it comes to compulsion.

It’s he one thing you really need, to discover peace.

Much love, Grace

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I used to teach this differently….and it was not that great

eatingemotions
Eating Agony can turn into Eating Peace….you have what it takes to quit hurting yourself with your thinking, with your eating, and change your life

The first Eating Peace course I taught was in 2010, six years ago.

I can raise my hand and say with all honesty, even though some people benefitted, I was a total beginner and it wasn’t anywhere near as good and clear as the program is now.

Ugh.

It was not actually called Eating Peace back then. It was called “Too Much Not Enough”….because what I had found in my own recovery from horrible eating was that the way I ate had to do with what I was thinking.

What I was thinking was…..there was Too Much of something OR Not Enough of something in my reality, in my world.

Or both. Usually, both.

Too Much of something right in the very moment I was eating, or wanting to eat, when I wasn’t hungry. And Not Enough of something in the very same moment.

It’s like some kind of centered internal balance was GONE. Vaporized. The pendulum was swinging out of whack.

Too Much of what, or Not Enough of WHAT….you might be asking?

A most excellent and brilliant question.

What I believed was Too Much was most often the following:

big feelings, pressure, requests from others, too many demands, advice, danger, threat, boredom, disappointment, rebellion. The biggest feelings I had the worst time dealing with were anger and fear and every variation of either one (anxiety, nerves, rage, irritation).

What I believed was Not Enough in situations where I found myself eating when not hungry were the following:

my ability to stop the cycle, my capacity to love myself, receiving unconditional love from anyone, not enough time, not enough genuine attention, not enough kindness or forgiveness, not enough willingness to let something go. The feelings I felt most unhappy with that there weren’t enough of were love and acceptance.

My whole entire view of reality was it was flawed….and unfortunately so was I. Something was missing (Not Enough) or something was present that shouldn’t be (Too Much).

One of the best ways you can begin to explore your inner world (and get ready to be shocked by how this actually affects your eating–for the better) is to honestly examine your mind.

People believe they need a mate, money, time, kindness, a bigger house, a better job, world peace, no war…..in order to be truly happy.

People believe they must eliminate sadness, poverty, violence, and their own qualities of not-enoughness in order to be truly happy.

What I know is, if you’re waiting for life to be perfectly in balance according to your definition of Just Right….

….you’ll be waiting forever.

When I ate because I was angry, terrified, bored or hurting….I didn’t have the conscious thoughts “here’s what I think is too much for me right now, or not enough of right now”.

I just started eating. The belief sped by under the surface, and I quick started eating before I could see it. My feelings ruled everything, they were wild and frightening and very big.

The only way I’ve found to get started on unraveling this deep level of how I feel about life, and how this affects the way I ate, was to start by identifying the thoughts running in my mind—the stressful, troubling, harsh ones I felt about life.

We start to do this in the Eating Peace Core TeleClass.

And like I said, after six years teaching eating peace and the improvements I’ve made, and experience I’ve had along the way working with others, I am better at working and guiding people now than I was six years ago when I first wanted to share recovery with the world.

I’ve heard the same kinds of thoughts over and over again by working with many people, and I recognize the similarities those of us who eat off-balance have about food, eating and the body.

Sure, there are variations. Some people have never been super heavy in weight because they’ve vomited or over-exercised. Some people have under-eaten most of their lives and felt extreme tension around food. Some people have been chronically overweight or even obese, or yo-yo’d up and and down and been on a thousand diets.

But even if the symptoms and the appearance looks different, they are all sides of the same coin.

The coin that says “something is wrong with reality here”. There’s too much, or not enough. I can’t handle this. I’m too scared. I’m too angry. Life is too hard.

I call the Eating Peace Core TeleClass the “core” teleclass because we dive into the basic first-level beliefs most of us carry who have eaten weirdly.

When I first started out teaching, I wanted so badly for everyone to find relief and freedom, I hardly talked about myself. I didn’t share what I really thought when someone was struggling, even though I had lots of experience. We needed to question reality, after all….this wasn’t about the food! But it was jumping over too big a canyon, and people didn’t get what I was talking about.

Wait, isn’t this about eating?

I learned along the way to move back and forth between questions of life, and questions about eating, and to listen very closely with every group and class for the unique flavors and concerns of every person present. I learned that it was never the same, but it was helpful to present the patterns I saw come forward, and share these with everyone, every time.

So, that’s what we do in this Eating Peace Core Teleclass. I’m sharing with you what I found very helpful to begin with on my road to recovery, and how to practice it in an ongoing way.

For the first two weeks (Module One) we look at our relationship to the food/eating/diet plan. Everyone shares theirs with me. We dialogue back and forth about it. You will make a commitment to explore why you eat too much when you do, or why you eat too little when you do. What takes you out of a peaceful, balanced, normal way of eating?

Weeks 3 and 4 (Module Two) we identify our judgments about bodies. This is fascinating, to write what we think about someone’s body who is “overweight” and what we think about “perfect” bodies. Where did you learn how to see this way? Finding out brings huge ah-ha’s and insight for many.

During weeks 5 and 6 (Module Three) we remember moments of eating with our family of origin. What was it like when we were young, with mom and dad, or other huge influencers in our lives? What did these people say, or model, about eating or reasons to eat?

Finally the last two weeks (Module Four) we get to really sink into what we think there’s too much of in our lives, and not enough of in our lives. What’s missing, what’s overwhelming? We get to make a list and see what our thought-system holds.

Only by identifying clearly all our beliefs can we take them to inquiry and actually QUESTION them. When we question our thinking, we can change our vision, and change our eating, and change our lives.

Everyone who takes Eating Peace Core Teleclass will get weekly exercises and then we’ll go through the actual inquiry process on our live phone calls using The Work of Byron Katie. You’ll know how to begin working with your eating in your daily life, and begin the journey of the road home to eating peace.

Peace means never eating so much you hurt yourself, and never eating so little you hurt yourself.

This Eating Peace Core Teleclass will be the last until the fall. We meet Mondays 5:30 – 7:00 pm Pacific Time for 8 weeks beginning tomorrow, May 9th. Room for 2 more people. Please write to me if you really want to enroll, but you can’t afford the fee ($395). It’s my privilege to help everyone who suffers from eating battles, food fears, body hatred and criticism, to question their beliefs and change their eating.

This course is also excellent for those wanting this support, but not ready to take the full Eating Peace Online TeleProgram offered for the past two winters. This long course, covering more than 3 months together from November through February, is a very comprehensive practice combining the best practices and spiritual principles of a mindful, feeling-full, peaceful life with food. It’s a program of transformation and everyone who joins Eating Peace Online gets access to life, so no matter where you are in your journey….you can take the time you need to come home.

Join this 8 week class by clicking the link here: Eating Peace Core teleclass.

Much love, Grace

 

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Eating Peace: what IS eating peace? should I get a food plan?

Eating Peace Core teleclass is starting next week. Mondays for 8 weeks. 5:30-7:00 pm Pacific Time.
And what IS eating peace anyway? What does it look like?
I know you understand the word “peace” and what it feels like. Peace is soft, kind, supportive, loving, empty and nourishing at the same time. It’s the absence of war.
Eating Peace is the absence of debate, argument, attack, violence or fighting with food or the act of eating. I used to fight with every thought I had about eating and my weight or my body.
What I was really fighting with, was my experience of my life and reality. I could not see much peace in reality, so there wasn’t much peace in my eating either.
Listen here as I share some of what eating peace is like, now, and can be for you, too. Everyone has this birthright. You are born able to eat peacefully.
If you’ve had questions about food plan, and getting one….there are many ways you can land on what really works for you. I share an introduction to this in the video today.
If you want to know more about the Eating Peace Core Teleclass, you can read all about it and sign up here ($395 for 8 weeks, and please write to me if you absolutely cannot afford the fee, I am always open to considering options with you, if you deeply want to participate). Click HERE to read about the course, and register (and there’s a short summary of the modules below, too).

Much love, Grace
Eating Peace Core TeleClass:
Module One: (weeks one and two) Underlying Beliefs that fuel eating off-balance and the Food Plan. Should you follow a food plan, or not? I’ll share when it’s a good idea, and when not. I’ll also share the most common underlying beliefs I’ve found that create eating havoc. You’ll send me your peaceful food plan and I’ll share mine with you.
Module Two: (weeks three and four) Judging Bodies. What are your thoughts about how you should look, or what those other people look like? What do you think of other perfect bodies? We’ll explore why we
Module Three: (weeks five and six) Who Taught You? Here we look at what we innocently learned from those around us, whether family of origin or society or both. We learn to disconnect our actions from what we thought was “truth” about eating.
Module Four: (weeks seven and eight) Peace Beyond Beliefs. We look even deeper at the underlying beliefs, including what we’re thinking there’s Not Enough or Too Much of in our lives that isn’t food.
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Two terrible, awful, horrible, no good, very bad things

question your stories about death, or craving..... .....feel the mysterious inexhaustible silence
question your stories about death, or craving…..
…..feel the mysterious inexhaustible silence

Every year at the summer Breitenbush annual retreat in late June, we have a movie night.

We watch the film Turn It Around with Byron Katie.

In the movie, quite a few courageous people get up on stage with Katie.

They share their innermost suffering and disturbing thoughts with the whole audience (and in this case, all of us who ever watch Turn It Around, too)!

That’s brave!

Last night, I showed Turn It Around in my Eating Peace retreat.

I’ve seen it about 10 times now, and it’s still moving for me.

One of my favorite pieces of work is when a young woman shares that her brother died in Afghanistan, and how enraged she’s felt about the loss, her devastated family, and death itself.

What an amazing question to ask someone as they consider death (to ask myself)….

….who would you be without the belief that death is so awful?

Without being against death, and anything leading to death?

It does seem to be the overwhelming way of it, as in 100% of the time, that we die.

So why get so disturbed?

What’s this deep, terrifying upset all about, anyway?

It’s profound to think of, at this level.

Almost the same, for me, as the process of addiction (which is what everyone is looking at so very closely in Eating Peace these three days).

Craving.

This whole over-eating, under-eating, worrying about eating thing.

What’s So Upsetting?!!

What’s going on in any moment, that we would choose to start to eat, and eat, and eat…..or drink, and drink, and drink…..or smoke, obsess about a person, shop, internet, clean, facebook….

….want, want, want?

What is so disturbing about the moment we insist we need something to…..

WHAT??

We looked at this today, in our retreat.

What does that thing, person, activity…..give you?

People noticed they thought eating, in those compulsive moments, would give them comfort, reward, compensation, soothing.

What does believing that death-is-terrible give you?

Huh.

Why would I choose to think death-is-terrible is true?

It’s like there’s some kind of idea within that if I didn’t think death was terrible, I’d twiddle away the hours I’ve got, I wouldn’t care, I’d be weird, I wouldn’t get freaked out about loss, change, and things coming and going (people or animals).

I’m afraid I wouldn’t truly love, I’d be too detached.

But is that true?

Whether it’s death I find frightening, or this empty moment, or this gruesome image from a memory….

….when I believe my story that this situation is lousy, or bad for me….

….I become fear, loss, sadness, distress, drama, excitement.

That’s who I am when I’m believing my story.

Alone, confused, not exactly trusting of the universe and reality.

So who would I be without the belief that my mind, my thoughts, my story, the images I see, my fantasies about death, my fantasies about this moment (that invent the need for some compulsive behavior) are true?

Who would I be if I didn’t believe my stories?

Including the story of death?

Including the story of uncomfortable feelings and moments and situations and addiction?

I would be feeling, seeing, being myself, which includes for me nutty pictures (some frightening) and judgments racing by and a brain full of thinking (sometimes).

Noticing that even though I see pictures of what death might be like, or other people I love dying, and even though I wonder about death a lot….

….and even though it sometimes occurs to me that a moment is annoying, missing something, more than I can handle, or boring….

….I don’t have to believe it.

In fact, I often don’t.

I don’t have to do anything.

I don’t have to get up, or fix it quick, or eat something, or figure out how to handle it.

Without believing my thoughts, they are just there, being themselves.

Me, too.

Oh, and look at that.

The universe is being Itself, too, in all its wild mysterious glory, full of lives being lived temporarily (it seems) and moments happening only for an instant (even moments full of craving) and things morphing, moving, opening, closing, changing.

Turning the thoughts around in every way: death is wonderful, craving is wonderful, life is terrible, not-craving is terrible, my thinking about death is terrible, my thinking about craving is terrible.

Could these be just as true, or truer?

“She who is centered in the Tao can go where she wishes, without danger. She perceives the universal harmony, even amid great pain, because she has found peace in her heart. Music or the smell of good cooking may make people stop and enjoy. But words that point to the Tao seem monotonous and without flavor. When you look for it, there is nothing to see. When you listen for it, there is nothing to hear. When you use it, it is inexhaustible.” ~ Tao Te Ching #35

Question your thinking, feel wonderful and open, rather than terrible and closed.

Yes. Even about Death. Even about Addiction.

The world keeps doing what it does….

….and yet, it looks so different.

Much love, Grace

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Heal Your Uglies

Do you ever get the uglies?

That’s what my youngest sister once labeled my 10th grade experience of looking at yourself in the mirror before you went to school, and feeling…..well…..

.…ugly.
Register

I have three younger sisters, and we all had our self-critical moments when we were young.

But one day, I was telling my little sister how the day before on my way in to school I felt awful and I didn’t want people to see me, but by the afternoon, after I had a blast at band practice and some fun joking around in the hallways, my favorite teacher commended me on a project I had done, and I pretty much forgot about it.

She nodded.

Oh I know what that’s like, she said.

“It’s just the uglies.”

She was 12.

How’d she get so smart?

Instead of actually focusing in on the details like they were true….

….like that your face was blotchy, your hair was oily and flat, your thighs were too big, you had a zit on the edge of your nose where it meets the cheek, your clothes weren’t cute, your jacket was dirty, your eyebrows were too thick, your stomach was gross…..

…..it was a way of describing a whole way of thinking.

The Uglies.

She was identifying a mood, a way of looking that made everything appear ugly, rather than believing something really WAS ugly.

Which is what happens to us sometimes, even as adults.

I’m sure you’ve noticed.

You’ve got your Uglies glasses on.

When you feel self-conscious, self-critical and dismissive towards yourself, there may be something else going on besides just a tendency to be self-critical.

Self-hate and self-criticism doesn’t just pop out of the sky into you.

You weren’t born with it.

I always find, if I get the uglies, I can ask myself…..

…..what’s going on?

What am I believing to be true right now?

What’s the inside of my head like in the moment, my perception of the world?

I know it’s a big question, but it sure is better than attacking yourself for a huge list of faults….

….and far more fruitful for digging out the root of the suffering.

When I see me as ugly, I’m almost always seeing something else as frightening, sad, confusing, or irritating.

Ugliness is in the mind.

Here’s a powerful question that I never dreamed of asking consciously when I was in tenth grade:

What am I afraid of?

You can make a list, if you like, of people you feel nervous around.

These are people you feel might be making decisions about whether you’re an attractive person, or an unattractive person.

Romantic partners, colleagues, co-workers, students, boys, men, girls, women, mom, grandpa, brother, aunt, boss.

What’s the worst that could happen, if they find you ugly?

(You might also consider what’s the worst that could happen, if they find you beautiful, if this fits for you).

When you start writing about what can happen if someone thinks you’re ugly, you might be amazed if you really allow your mind to go there.

  • they’ll reject me
  • I’ll be all alone
  • they’ll win, I’ll lose
  • she’ll fire me
  • I’ll never be happy, or loved
  • I won’t be part of the inner circle
Now you have a threat you’re more clearly aware of.

The suffering you believe occurs when you’re rejected, left, abandoned, fired, cast out, dismissed, hated.

From this point…..

…..with a clearly stressful belief about what it means if someone thinks you’re unattractive…..

…..you can inquire, and do The Work.

Guess what I noticed as I did The Work over time on everyone I was afraid of, all the people I thought were judging me and criticizing me, or abandoning me?

After doing The Work for awhile, when I glanced at myself in the mirror at the beginning of my day in the morning….

….I smiled.

I automatically saw someone cute, and supportive more of the time.

I saw an image looking at me that said “Oh Hi! There you are you absolutely adorable person!”

Seriously, I actually started thinking that, almost every time I saw myself.

I did not try to make myself see myself as kind and loving, it just happened.

It was the result of questioning my thoughts and seeing through eyes that those other harsh people in my life had not rejected, abandoned, hated, dismissed, abused, hurt, or betrayed me.

They may have said some pretty mean things, and taken some pretty dreadful actions….

….but I understand now….

….they had The Uglies.

In the Eating Peace retreat, one exercise we do is fill out the Judge Your Body worksheet.

We get to look at the parts of our bodies that we just can’t see as beautiful, and put the nastiest thoughts in our minds about the body on paper.

Some of us try so hard to be thin, have the right clothes, have the right gestures, put on the best makeup and dream of the perfect non-rejectable image.

But calming your worries and fears down by trying to make the body look right is so difficult.

And besides…..we get old, we decline, we get sick or hurt, we have imperfections.

Why not start relaxing all that effort right now….

….and put the intense energy of the Uglies into questioning your stressful beliefs, into questioning the stressful way you actually SEE?

You can do this.

Come join me January 22-24 for the next 3 Day Eating PeaceRetreat in Seattle area.

The more you question, the more you can take off those Ugly glasses.

Your natural eyes see beauty, love, kindness and acceptance.

I say this because if I can see the beauty now, anyone can.

Yes, even you.

Much love,

Grace

P.S. I am sending this note today to those of you on the Eating Peace mailing list as well as Grace Notes, as I know many people suffer from eating issues and body image concerns. The upcoming retreat is filling and I’d love to have you there, to support you healing your Uglies.

If you want to update your subscription to drop or add any Work With Grace mail, just click the tiny print below that reads Update Profile and feel free to make changes.

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Eating Peace: A crazy strange idea (that works)–stop trying

Have you ever stopped to notice, that every single time you reach towards something when you feel uncomfortable….

….food, drink, smoke, internet, activity-you-promised-not-to-do….

….you’re trying to feel OK.

But you don’t feel OK.

You’re trying to.

So you put something in your mouth and eat it, and you forget about how you weren’t feeling OK for awhile.

You move on.

Other stuff happens.

Now, you’re drunk, or stuffed, or exhausted, or your money is gone, or you feel guilty, or you feel horrible pain.

That thing you didn’t feel OK about is long gone.

Now, you have worse problems you have to attend to, and work on, and self-hate to deal with on top.

What if….when you got the first inkling of Not-OK about anything, you didn’t try to get away from it or fix it or do something about it?

Believe me, I know it’s weird.

It’s not what is usually offered, or suggested, or what your mind will chatter away about with many possible ideas to solve the problem.

Not solving the problem is VERY strange for the mind.

But try it on. What if you didn’t try to be OK?

Stop Trying to be OK....see what happens
Stop Trying to be OK….see what happens

Peace,

Grace

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Eating Peace: Be Simple, Lie Down, & Remember you can’t Fail

Recently someone wrote to share a stressful thought she has that I’ve heard before, in every variation possible.

I’m afraid I will fail. I already failed many times. I can’t seem to succeed. I will regret the outcome, later, in the future because it won’t be a success. 

Being a human being, you’ve probably noticed a thought pattern like this, as your mind watches the memory of what you’ve been like, and then imagines what’s possible for you in the future, based on what you’ve been like so far.

That same mind will compare the failing you, to the possibly successful you, and see a gap.

Then it will say to you…..yep. See! 

Something’s missing. You’re obviously not capable of doing this on your own. You need help.

A LOT of help.

Notice how stressful this is, to think you can’t do it, you won’t make it, you’ll not succeed, you can’t get there, you’ve screwed up many times already and failed over and over again.

Super stressful, discouraging, frightening, sad.

Here I share a little mantra I learned that made a big difference for me, a way to interrupt the pattern of reaching for unneeded food (or uncomfortable thoughts).

Peace,

Grace

 

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Eating Peace: 2 most important areas to study to go from eating war to peace

Please join me for a free webinar on Sunday, November 8th. Share this email with others who may be seeking peace with eating. I suffered horribly, and now I’m free and here to help others end the battle with eating and troubled thinking.

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It can feel so depressing when you look at where you’d prefer to be with eating (at peace) and you’re incessantly not there (at war).

Watch my video to see the two areas of focus you’ll need to spend time with in order to understand your eating experience….

….thoughts and feelings.

It’s the only way this whole thing gets resolved for good.

You can focus on how you act, what you want to have, but without making peace with thoughts and feelings, the war-like feeling will always return.

Thoughts are very speedy, feelings are very messy and chaotic.

You can be with them anyway.

The surprise is that you don’t need anything more than this. You don’t need to know how to change your thoughts or feelings.

As long as you spend time with them, see them, give them some attention…..

…..you’ll be on your way to peaceful eating.

Peace,

Grace

P.S. Free webinar on November 8th at 8:30 am. This will be different than any webinar I’ve done so far. I’ll share how to walk the path through the dark woods from eating war to peace: Join Eating Peace Webinar. I’ll also share all the details at the end for those of you interested in joining Eating Peace Online: 12 Week Immersion starting November 17th.