Category: Trouble With Food and Eating

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Eating Peace – Four Areas To Look When It Comes To Troubled Eating

In the last 3 or 4 years I’ve had a strange and completely unplanned phase of gathering all the teachings I ever received around healing eating troubles….

….and categorizing them into four broad and spacious areas.

I did this because people asked me for help.

I wasn’t shy about saying I had healed from a raging eating disorder and whacked thinking about food.

But I also sometimes felt very reluctant to help.

It’s so intense! It took so long! All those healers, therapists, retreats, workshops, books, and degrees!

How could I ever put into words what I’ve learned about having a fabulous relationship with food?

But one day, I started.

I sat very quietly, considering what was the “answer” to this difficult problem with food, when there is too much, or not enough, and never any deep satisfaction?

I had worked with many clients over time, young women from teens to college students….and then older women all the way to age 80.

Then I had a man come for help with food and eating, and another.

I had lots of experience working with these people one-on-one, I had brought in self-inquiry especially in the form of The Work of Byron Katie to question what we thought was true in the moments we want to reach for food even though we’re not hungry.

And something started coming together to make this easier, more organized, more helpful.

The four broad areas I began to think about (and feel about) became the perfect areas for awareness of what really worked, and what didn’t.

Mind, Feelings, Body, Spirit.

It was so exciting to see what fit where along my journey, what was most important for me to learn, what really made a powerful difference.

Today in this fairly short video, I talk about this part of my freedom journey around food, eating and body….

….where I feel like after several decades of “work” on finding peace around food, I was drawn to take a look-see back over all the path I took, pick the very best of it all, the cream of the crop of teachings, and offer this to others who want to heal their relationship with food, too.

Because I know, every person who returns to joy and innocence with food has access to pleasure, joy, love and simplicity, not just around eating….

….but around everything else in their lives!

Seriously, it’s hard to believe, but the relationship with food, eating and the body really was an avenue into the deepest spirit within me.

If you change the way you experience food, you’ll change the way you experience your entire life.

Click below to watch today’s video.

Then, in a few days, I’ll send a video where I talk about the highlights I found in each area….

….Mind, Feelings, Body, and Spirit….

….that were the MOST important to learn to make peace with eating.

You can use them to help you heal the way you eat and the way you relate to food, or your size.

If I could do it, you can too.

Much love, Grace

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Could You Be On Retreat, No Matter What You’re Doing?

Woah.

When you leave retreat, are you still on retreat? The light's blown out, but you are still home.
When you leave retreat, are you still on retreat? The light’s blown out, but you are still home.

Words can hardly express how ecstatically joyful I feel after being with an amazing retreat full of people this past weekend….

….all gathered together in Eating Peace, the in-person version of my new program rebuilt and expanded hugely this past year.

I finally sat down and wrote everything I ever learned that was absolutely key in dissolving emotional eating in my life.

Then I condensed the absolute most important points into 3 days.

I spent every hour with the group from 9 am until after dinner and our evening session.

Including meals.

We practiced mindful eating. Slowly taking each bite together, feeling the textures, the sensation of swallowing, the explosion of tastes, the smell of our food.

We did The Work of Byron Katie. We questioned our stressful beliefs.

I feel slow right now…..relaxed, kicking back, satisfied, accomplished.

And a funny thought came to mind as I returned home, noticed I felt hungry already upon arrival, and joined my teenage daughter chewing on roasted chicken right from the container.

We laughed and talked….and in the back of my mind I thought “what if all the participants in Eating Peace saw me eating now like this, standing in my kitchen, joking with my daughter, eating with my fingers?

OMG, they would see I’m different than the way I was on retreat!!”

Fortunately, I could notice that thought and not believe it, even chuckle, because I know this way of eating is just as wonderful for me as the other very slow, very mindful way of eating.

Really, both are sacred.

I do not forget that this thing called food, something apparently from outside of myself is entering and joining with me in a beautiful act of unification.

Two are becoming one, in the act of eating.

Even standing in the kitchen.

But it wasn’t always this way. In the past, when my eating was waaaayyyy disordered and horribly uncomfortable (even violent) I felt like I was TRYING to become one with something….

….desperately grabbing….

….but I just couldn’t feel it.

What it came down to was this one very painful thought about life, my inner world, and my relationship with the universe.

Something is scary here. Something is missing. Something is wrong with me. Quick! Run!

Other people have this same thought, I realized later.

They might not turn into eating weirdos with this alarming view of the universe….

….instead, they might drink, smoke, analyze, watch TV, shop, clean, exercise, THINK.

There are so many escapist activities to choose from, to take the edge off and hide for awhile, not feel so vulnerable, not be so daunted by the largeness of life.

But who would you be without the belief that you have to hide something? That there’s something wrong with you? Or that there is something frightening happening by being here on planet earth?

This is a huge idea….not easy perhaps to imagine.

And yet, you can.

You’ve imagined the opposite already, right?

You’ve imagined that the world is frightening, life is difficult, the universe is sometimes out to get you, or it’s chaotic. Bad things happen you’ve imagined. You’ve definitely thought there might be something missing, or wrong with you.

Why not see what it would be like, with that incredible imagination, without these dreadful, fearful thoughts?

What do you notice is happening right now, for example?

Are you OK?

Is anything truly dangerous occurring?

“To know yourself as the Being underneath the thinker, the stillness underneath the mental noise, the love and joy underneath the pain, is freedom, salvation, enlightenment….What liberation to realize the voice in your head is not who you are.” ~ Eckhart Tolle
Now, the retreat is over, but in truth, watching, clarity, love and gratitude continues to live….even if its in the kitchen, standing, laughing while holding a greasy chicken bone.
The retreat continues.

Love, Grace

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Eating Peace: Go Limp

Most people when they think about trying to stop overeating, or obsessing about food, or trying to be perfect when it comes to eating….
…are told that your solutions for this dilemma are to change your diet, study nutrition, or get into personal training.
Not that there’s anything wrong with these. They can make a HUGE difference, and sometimes completely change peoples’ lives.
But in my deep recovery….
….and what I mean by recovery is NEVER thinking about what I ate my last meal or what I “should” eat later, not making foods “good” or “bad” with moral values attached, and never ever weighing myself or caring….
….I found that real peace comes from slowing down, questioning your stressful beliefs, and being with yourself with the greatest unconditional love.
As I’ve mentioned before (I know, like 1000 times) if you’re wondering where to begin, the best place is to write.
Here’s the next video about what else you might write in this journal, to understand yourself better, and your own mind and feelings.
And my favorite fun message to contemplate when it comes to food and eating:
Go Limp!
Relax yourself, your mind, and all you’re thinking and believing.
Put down the books, scales, measuring devices and planners.
See what happens (it’s really good).

We’ll be starting the next 3 month online program on February 22nd to learn all the inner factors at play around eating issues of any kind, whether you just want to lose some weight, stop nighttime overeating, or quit having bulimic episodes (I did them all).
For more about this contemplative and full program, visit Eating Peace Online.
Much love,
Grace
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Eating Peace: What Goes In Your Journal Part 1

Have you wondered what you’re supposed to write in your journal about food and eating?
Three key things come to mind that may help a lot:
  • your sense of hunger and fullness in situations with food
  • how you are feeling emotionally
  • what you really, really want (instead of, or besides, food)
These are big, wide subjects.
But getting your feelings and thoughts out from the inside of you to something you can re-read and investigate is sooooo powerful.
Don’t worry about making it perfect, or re-reading it right away.
First, simply express yourself.
See what’s going on.
Slow everything down to slow, slow motion—because then you’ll see what’s really there, without it fogging out or disappearing before you realize what drove you to eat the uncomfortable way in the first place.
Watch here to hear how I worked with my Binge Journal. Let me know how it goes for you by leaving a comment below the video–I’ll respond if you have questions!
Eating Peace - What goes in the Journal Part 1
Eating Peace – What goes in the Journal Part 1
Much love,
Grace

P.S. Eating Peace Workshop is sold out. If you’d like to be on the waiting list for the upcoming retreat here in north Seattle, write grace@workwithgrace.com. Click HERE to read more about the retreat.

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Eating Peace: Why Bother Writing In A Journal?

One of the best ways to see what you’re believing that bothers you most deeply…
…to not allow it to flicker by unnoticed…
…is to write your thoughts down.
Did you get a journal dedicated to investigating your thoughts, feelings and experiences around food?
Mine was red bound leather, thin, with beautiful quality paper in college ruled lines.
In this Binge Journal, I began to write about my feelings about food.
The first place I started was AFTER the binge, or overeating episode.
Because I couldn’t remember nor did I want to stop and write BEFORE I ate, when I was overwhelmed with cravings and confusion, or anger, or sadness.
But as soon as I gave myself the gift of writing after compulsive overeating, I had a much greater awareness of what had been going on a few hours earlier, when I was triggered to eat.
The writing showed me patterns and insight.
And one day, a huge lightbulb went off when I discovered that quite a few binge-eating episodes were preceded by an interaction where I felt criticized and angry.
All it took was awareness of this.
I didn’t even need to “do” anything with the anger or fear.
Noticing made all the difference.
I say more about keeping a journal and how it worked for me right here. Let me know how it goes for YOU.
Your inner world matters.
The urge to binge comes out of your relationship to it, and what has happened that bumps up against that inner experience.
“One of the essential requirements for true spiritual growth and deep personal transformation is coming to peace with pain. No expansion or evolution can take place without change, and periods of change are not always comfortable. Change involves challenging what is familiar to us and daring to question our traditional needs for safety, comfort, and control….Becoming familiar with this pain is part of your growth.” ~ Michael Singer
Click HERE to watch my short video on more about keeping a journal:
Much love,
Grace

P.S. Eating Peace Workshop is a way in, to find a way out. There are two spots left for the upcoming 3 day retreat in Seattle. Click HERE to read more or to register.

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Eating Peace: I Feel Like Eating Because….

How do some people heal from eating battles, concerns with food and weight, or thoughts and cravings for food?

What’s the difference between someone who gets over it once and for all, and someone who goes back to eating in a way that feels self-destructive, or who gains and loses weight over and over?

The most common attempt to solve the problem of compulsive behavior around food is diet and exercise.

This may help, but people often stop right there and don’t continue to explore all the elements that make the “storm” of off-balance eating.

For me, the only answer to true healing from eating troubles….

….to become someone who no longer has any need to overeat, binge, starve themselves on purpose, gain weight, or attempt to control themselves with diets….

….is a deep form of self-inquiry.

You might say “seriously?!” 

Yes.

The place to begin is to see what you’re thinking, believing, and feeling about not just food, but life.

In the moments you feel worried, nervous, sad, enraged, furious or hurt….

….those are your moments for investigation.

Here’s where to begin this journey, and the great question to ask yourself when you feel like eating when you aren’t really hungry (or you’re completely stuffed).

Much love,
Grace
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Eating Peace – Mind Like Water

What if you stopped trying so hard to do something about the way you eat, your weird food behavior, your cravings, your discord?
You might think “OMG! But! I have to do SOMETHING!!!!”
Right?
Otherwise….
….(terrible images, terrible feelings, terrible sadness).
What if instead you said Mind Like Water instead.
Watch here to see what I’m talking about:
Eating Peace With Grace Mind Like Water
Eating Peace With Grace Mind Like Water
You can relax, it’s OK.
Much love,
Grace

P.S. Eating Peace Workshop is filling this year. I love the people who are attending. Reserve your spot now, it’s one month away only. Click HERE.

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I Need More! I Need Less! Dropping Food & Money Stories

There is one spot left in the 8 week teleclass on questioning all those powerful money beliefs, some of which are seriously stressful. We start tomorrow 5:15-6:45 Pacific time, skype or phone. To sign up click HERE.

The way I once reacted to money most of the time through a large part of my life was that I was above it, it was unnecessary, and to care about it was to sink into selfishness or worse.

Then I lost all my money.

Ooooh boy, I sure cared about it then! Dang!

If a trip around the world cost a dollar, I would have made it to the end of my driveway!

Suddenly, the sheer terror of not having any overwhelmed me. I saw the way that I pooh-poohed it most of my life maybe wasn’t exactly responsible or loving, for either me or other people who supported me.

The other day, I was noticing how money is a lot like food.

We are so sure that we know how much of it or how little of it would be good. Or bad.

Our story feels very real.

Something happens. You’re going along living your life and BOOM.

Someone says something concerning, or mean. Your feelings get hurt. You get scared. You get startled.

Through you mind floats images. You have feelings. You’re caught in a reaction. You see the future, and your imagination paints it very dark. Or you see the past (and maybe you have something that happened to you) and you remember it very dark.

For a moment right now, as you read this….

….consider who you would be without the belief that you need moremoney or food, or you need less money or food?

You don’t have to crush the incident that scared you, or what your mind is telling you.

You just don’t have to be so nervous, worried, upset or anxious about what happened and what could happen next.

Having good scary stories can make anyone as jumpy as a cockroach in a fryin’ pan!

So what would it be like to drop your stories?

“Wisdom comes with the ability to be still. Just look and just listen. No more is needed. Being still, looking, and listening activates the non-conceptual intelligence within you. Let stillness direct your words and actions.” ~ Eckhart Tolle

Without stories, without thinking going so crazy, you might get to see what non-conceptual intelligence actually feels like.

It’s very still.

It’s very silent.

And it’s very peaceful and kind and soft and loving.

Without the belief in more-or-less-is-required-for-me-to-be-happy you could even be astonished. And watch the sad or uncomfortable ending disappear into the unknown. 

Much love, Grace
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Eating Peace- The Imperfect Dance of Eating Struggles

Everyone feels alone from time to time, but the heaviness of the belief running through your mind “I Am All Alone” can be torturous and frightening.

Whenever I check, I find it isn’t true though.

I just can’t ever PROVE that I’m all alone, no matter how much I kick and scream that its true!

I can get all riled up, frustrated, shake my fist at the universe, feel separate, be depressed at my circumstances, or my eating issues or addictive behavior….

….but I still can’t prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that I am all by myself, completely on my own, in a vacuum of dark outer space with no earth or life in sight.

I mean, there’s stuff all over the place in this room! Have you noticed?

If you’ve felt all alone, join me today to investigate this a little, and notice the imperfection in this dance….

….the imperfection in food, having a body, eating, hunger, fullness, exercise, the people around, health, career, relationship, money, you name it…..

….it’s not perfect. (Kinda like this video, ha ha!)

Eating Peace With Grace * When You Feel All Alone *
Eating Peace With Grace * When You Feel All Alone *
Much love,
Grace

P.S. Eating Peace Workshop is filling this year. I love the people who are attending. Reserve your spot now, it’s 6 weeks away only. Click HERE.

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Eating Peace – Something you can do if you’re overwhelmed

Earlier this morning the Eating Peace group met for our weekly practice in questioning thoughts related to cravings, eating, body image and food.
Some participants have been struggling.
It’s a season of sweets. Contacting friends and family. Being with people. Having big feelings.
Here’s something you can do that’s so simple, you might dismiss it as being ineffective or boring or dorky or new-agey.
But it isn’t. Not really.
It requires…..doing nothing.
Check it out here. And remember, if you’re feeling discouraged, this will pass. I mean it.
Lots of love to you on this wonderful day.
Eating Peace With Grace 12-24-2014 Inner You's
Eating Peace With Grace 12-24-2014 Inner You’s
Much love,
Grace

P.S. Eating Peace In Person 3-Day Workshop Is Coming! This is open to everyone wanting freedom from eating issues that feel painful. February 6-8, 2015 $297. For more information about housing, location, and details (updated frequently) or to register click HERE.