Events – Page 7 – The Work of Byron Katie with Grace

July 20, 2016

Three Underworld Beliefs that keep The Work (enlightenment) away

snuffedcandles — Are you believing some thoughts that keep you in the dark?

I remember my March 2005 School for The Work.

It was a truly remarkable experience for me. Like, one of the most transformational times of my entire life.

Something in my mind cracked apart as I began to understand what it really meant to have stories….stressful stories….about being a human being. I had spent so much of my life scared and nervous.

And it wasn’t necessary.

Before going to the School and hanging out with Byron Katie, I had never really understood, even though I had read Loving What Is, what it actually meant to genuinely answer the question “Is it true?”

It occurred to me, each day that passed during those nine days in March 2005, that I could ask this question “is it true?” not only about the troubling relationships or encounters I had in my life, but also about money, my body, my family, my home, my childhood, my identity, the future….

….basically every single story I ever had.

Woah.

Then, I left.

I felt almost giddy on the airplane home. So much less fear. Like a weight had been lifted off of me about where, how, when, or what life was supposed to be like.

I realized, I didn’t know anything for sure–in a really good way! Not a scary way!

A few weeks went by.

And a few months.

Yes, I took long walks listening to the music I first heard in the School of Deva Premal (gorgeous). Yes, I connected with new friends I had just met at that school, and we talked on the phone. Yes, my life had unexpected changes that propelled me to continue my self-examination. Yes, I traded facilitation of The Work with people as often as possible at first, then a little less, then a crisis and it would be more, then a little less, then a little less, then….

It was early fall. Almost six months since that nine day school.

I saw a post come across my email announcing someone who was teaching a teleclass where everyone would be doing The Work.

I had the thought:

“Why on earth would I ever pay to take a course in The Work? It’s only four questions. I know what to do! I’ve been to the School for The Work for crying out loud.”

But even though I was then going through separation in my marriage, and my life was entirely up in the air, I just didn’t seem to get around to doing The Work all the time, like I had before.

What is that?

We know we enjoy something, we know we feel better, we know it provides awareness, or relief, or health, or greater joy.

But there’s such an urge to find, at least in me (and I’ve heard from others) an Easier Softer Way.

Sure, I’ll do The Work if I’m about to go insane, or I’m really freaking out, but if things are groovin’ along OK, then why bother?

It’s like there’s a big energy (call it ego if you like) that doesn’t want to work, doesn’t want to discover a damn thing, wants everything to be easy, wants to remain a victim or someone who is being tortured (oh the drama), and really feels threatened by the actual loss of Story Power.

I say Story Power because oooooh, doesn’t a great story have amazing power to make you laugh, cry, snort, sob, howl, release, feel excited?

I love stories! Stories are so awesome!

However…NOT when I forget they’re stories, and NOT when they appear to be frightening stories. (I don’t go to horror movies, I just invent them in my mind).

As I watched this phenomena within myself take place of moving in and out of stories, taking something very seriously, taking something personally, feeling conflict….

….I noticed some interesting patterns.

There were three typical ways I’d stop doing The Work, and start thinking obsessively instead.

They came out of believing the following concepts to be very, very true. So true, I couldn’t answer the four questions anymore. I was busy!

1) I need more information

Oh boy. Have you ever had this idea?

I need to study, gather, ask tons of questions, read, analyze, get more data, figure out who did it, how it happened, and if I did something wrong. I have to figure this out, map it out, explain it. I have to find out what’s worked for other people, or not worked, I have to see if anything terrible has ever happened to anyone who answered the questions. Must. Get. More.

(This can keep you very busy, very distracted, very active for a lifetime. Just saying. Not that I would know about it).

2) I can do it by myself

Relying on other people is such a pain! Anything worth doing has to be done because I want to, not anyone else. Yeah, that’s right! Don’t I have to do most things by myself, anyway? Shouldn’t I be able to figure life out on my own? I mean, really. Come on. Depending on others for help is a major hassle. I prefer independence.

(I don’t know about you, but this kept me from going to therapy for several years even though I was a wreck, kept me from joining scary support groups, and kept me from being authentically honest with other humans, and kept me from asking for help.

And, oh yeah, from doing The Work thoroughly and deeply. When on my own, I did The Work in five minutes. While driving.)

3) I’d rather forget than face my fears

This one isn’t always up front in consciousness, because the very nature of this thought is to stay murky, and avoid and make sure no matter what, the scary vision is not faced.

I would act like I wanted to look and examine things directly, but gosh, I have errands to run, movies to watch, work to do, money to count or earn, dishes to wash. It’s so uncomfortable to look at these inner painful thoughts and situations from the past. Can’t we just forget about it all? I don’t want to get too stirred up!

These efforts to Not See would show up in various forms and activities repeatedly.

I even started recognizing different small patterns. Call them fog, or smog, as I’ve heard Byron Katie refer to confusion or lack of clarity.

Today, I’d love to hear from you. But only if you’ve ever noticed something sticky, or a barrier, or fog entering your vision.

Why?

Because I’m putting together a masterclass on a whole myriad of ways I’ve found the trickster mind, or ego, or self-centered identity, try to move away from The Work (or any kind of peace and rest, in any situation).

I find this impulse incredibly fascinating, and I’ve discovered that shining a light on it has brought a deep awareness.

Have you felt like The Work doesn’t work for you sometimes? Have you noticed how the funny mind has a whole commentary about questioning thought? Have you laughed at how goofy it is that you bump up against the very same issues over and over again?

If you would be so kind to say a few words in this survey, I’ll know to address whatever you share in the classes in early August.

It would be so wonderful if you would take only 4 minutes to answer one question about your experience with The Work (it’s anonymous): Click Here

The things you don’t work, I call them the Underworld. Because without those worked, [ego] overrides awareness. Like smog. Dirty water you can’t see through. Unfinished business…..The ego loves Yeah, but….” ~ Byron Katie during Being With Byron Katie 2016

Today, eleven years after that first School for The Work, I’m still learning almost daily. I find this stunning. I love The Work more than I once did, I think. How very odd. You would think I’d have gotten bored by now, considering my busy brain.

But it’s a phenomenal adventure, letting go of the personal identity and need to argue with reality, or with life….and opening up to more love than I ever thought possible.

Can’t wait to hear more about your apparent “problems” and play with the “solutions” to really “getting” this work. My favorite.

Much love, Grace

P.S. Even though I accidentally sent a link to the upcoming August masterclasses a wee bit early the other day, I wasn’t quite ready with it yet. Ugly registration page! I’ll be sure to keep you posted so you can sign up at the end of next week. And if You DID sign up, we got you covered (you’re in).

July 18, 2016

Are you sure it’s disappointing?

if you're disappointed....time to question your thoughts — if you’re disappointed….time to question your thoughts

In the past year, I’ve received a few questions from people connected to the Institute for The Work (ITW) about credits for programs I offer, but especially Year of Inquiry.

(In case you’re not familiar with ITW, it’s a very thorough in-depth training and certification program in Facilitation of The Work created by Byron Katie and many others in 2008).

I finally decided to write to the institute friends and ask about whether or not Year of Inquiry could offer more credits for these folks training to become certified facilitators.

Just the other day, I found out….not yet.

First, I need to offer some of their teleclasses inside the Institute, and teach their curriculum.

It makes sense. They need to see me in action as a teacher, get evaluations from people taking the courses, get super familiar with the curriculum inside ITW.

I had this little let-down though.

I had gotten all excited. They ran it by Katie. It sounded like I might very well be able to call my one year program the equivalent to a 9 day School for The Work plus 80 more hours of partner training in facilitation.

That would have been a lot of credits people could get, for taking Year of Inquiry!

Have you ever found out some exciting, maybe unexpected news….and thought Oh Cool! That sounds great!

You get excited and have visions of the way it will be.

It was like a little journey inside the head….I might be able to offer ALL THOSE CREDITS to people….wowwee!

Imagination goes off on thrilled tangent at how awesome it is because more people will like this and sign up, it will help them, this is an acknowledgement of the beauty of the program.

Then….wait. No, it turns out. Not gonna happen.

Imagination goes off on a disappointed tangent. Too bad because now no one will sign up, people like credits so they won’t like this, I’m doing it wrong.

It is HILARIOUS how the mind runs rampant with one new idea, and what it thinks it means, all in a course of literally a few days.

Now, here’s the great, great, great and I mean great news about all this.

There was a strong part of me, a place I was looking from the whole time, that was unmoved and completely undisturbed.

It had no idea what would be best here. It watched with a neutral eye.

It’s like there was a twinkle of fun in the whole thing.

And I notice plans for Year of Inquiry moving forward, with joy, with or without credits.

How do I know I’m supposed to carry on, and for now it doesn’t matter? It feels right. It feels brilliant and exciting.

It feels like the perfect format for some people, those who don’t care about certification credits (just like it’s always been so far) who want to keep returning to The Work over and over, week after week, every month, all year.

Year of Inquiry is for those who want to answer the four questions deeply without giving up or quitting, or dreaming of doing The Work without DOING it.

I organized it because I needed it, and I still love it.

The most remarkable people tend to show up. This is not surprising. People who know they want to quiet themselves down, slow their minds down, and become more loving and kind with the world and with themselves.

Who would I be without the story that having mega-credits to offer participants in Year of Inquiry would have been the better outcome?

Trusting. Happy. Laughing.

Thrilled to implement the newer format I have planned, and the longer 4 day retreats for both autumn and spring, and the new webinar that’ll be at the beginning of each month on the topic with guidance through a Judge Your Neighbor worksheet, and the more in-depth partner work for those who want it, and the monthly in-person group again.

Who would you be, right in this moment, without the belief that it should have gone that other way? The way you were hoping it might go, even if just for awhile?

Who would you be without the belief that you should have been with that other partner, or it would have been better in the other job or position, or it would have been better if you got the second house instead of the first, or it would be better if you had a possible $25 instead of the $10 in your hand right now, or you had gotten the green one instead of the red one?

Turning the thought around: the way it’s going is perfect. Everything unfolding in just the right timing, in just the right way, for the highest good for all.

Can you find this feeling within, for your situation?

How could this be as true, or truer, for the Year of Inquiry program?

Well, I don’t have to evaluate others on their facilitation skills or their awareness, or for any reason at all. I don’t need to “grade” anyone. Or myself. I’m learning from everyone there.

People can come to Year of Inquiry to immerse themselves in however much inquiry they want, it’s all optional, there’s nothing mandatory or required. It’s sooooo easy for me (and what I’ve been learning is true about life–that nothing’s required–even when I think something is).

I get to relax and see who shows up, and notice how quiet, peaceful and silent this moment is right now….no matter what’s going on in the mind.

I can do whatever I want, make changes whenever I want, take suggestions and new ideas whenever I want. Last year we started an in-person group because someone in YOI wanted more face-to-face contact. Bam. It was created.

How would I ever possibly be able to know that the other alternative I was dreaming of for a few days….would have been better?

How do I know it wasn’t supposed to happen? It didn’t.

That goes for everything that didn’t happen.

Wow.

“The past is an illusion (over). The future is an illusion (not happened yet) so any time you’re worried, you’re worried over….Nothing. That’s how friendly the Universe is.” ~ Byron Katie in Being With Byron Katie 2016

“Return is the movement of the Tao. Yielding is the way of the Tao.” ~ Tao Te Ching #40

Much love,

Grace

P.S. If you have the idea you might love doing The Work for a year with other marvelous and interesting people….and you wonder if The Work could really be helpful for you….I’ll be offering two live masterclass webinars in August on how to dissolve barriers to your process in The Work, when Year of Inquiry is still open for early-bird registration. August 4 or August 9. More soon. Just a little heads-up special for Grace Note readers.

July 13, 2016

Fear is a trance. Inquiry wakes you up. Join others to support your trip Home.

koalagrouphug — doing the work with others brings connection, sharing, love, the end of fear….freedom

Tuesday night, at the closing of a beautiful four day retreat, all the people assembled gathered in a circle to share their take-aways from the time together.

We had just completed four full days of watching Byron Katie, and the awesome people in her live audience, streamed from Switzerland. Eighteen people from our local community in the Pacific Northwest joined me.

We copied the pace and structure of the event in Switzerland, and held complete silence in between all the video sessions with Katie.

There is no comparison to watching this online retreat with the group who gathered here in my neighborhood….

….vs watching by myself at home and attempting (not) to remain in silence in between sessions, and do my own inquiry work on disturbing situations I’ve encountered in life.

My mind is a bit tricky to hold silence for 4 days, relax, listen, and do in-depth work on my own.

(Although, I could question that).

But here’s one of the coolest things that happened. It’s not the first time, but oh so sweet to feel and see it occur again.

Everyone felt close, felt loving, and felt connected even though some people didn’t even know other peoples’ names until our closing circle.

People drove from Canada, from Oregon, from all around Washington state. People have flown before from California. All to share the silence, and drinking in Katie’s words AND the words of all the beautiful people who share live at the retreat.

I already can’t wait until next year.

So here’s the thing.

Sharing the time together is incredibly helpful if you get stuck in thought-loops when you’re on your own. If you feel isolated, or introverted about your inner world. Or shame about what you’ve been feeling and thinking.

The way my mind used to work.

(Well, it still races off in this direction, it’s just I’m totally getting what Katie talks about, that I don’t believe what it’s saying! Halleluia!)

But this is the way it went before:

1) Something happened that felt a little uncomfortable, or really awful. Shocking. Or mildly irritating. Doesn’t matter. I don’t like it. It’s a bother. I’d rather it was different.

In other words, Reality is not perfect, in this situation.

2) KABAM. Mind is crunching down around the “problem” trying to fix it, adjust it, change it, get away from it, destroy it, rip it to shreds, complain about it, run away from it, avoid it, solve it, erase it.

Never questioning for One Minute that there’s a problem. It assumes there IS one. And it’s here! No doubt whatsoever.

3) Huge amounts of energy, fear and terror, lack of sleep, isolation, loneliness, depression, anger, waiting, sadness and suffering follow.

4) Things cools off (but they aren’t really forgotten, they’re in the files).

5) Something happens. Go back to #1.

When I first learned to do The Work, I inserted a step between 3 and 4.

It went like this:

3a) Consider I might be wrong about this terrible situation. It woudl be good if I was mistaken about this. It would potentially mean less stress and fear, less worry and upset. I might feel better. But my mind can’t actually be WRONG! Wait! That would be terrible! Go back to #4 and continue.

But then I got together with other people.

Other people also interested in questioning their thoughts and beliefs.

Instead of pausing for 5 seconds at 3a and moving to #4, my thought process began to add 3b.

3b) Take out a piece of paper and start writing down a few thoughts, wildly, with passion, with nervousness. Maybe get all the way to questioning a stressful belief using The Work, starting with the first question “is it true?”

Ditch this process. Too boring. Too slow. Too cumbersome. Too ridiculous. It doesn’t work, and it’s not going to work in the future.

Go back to #4.

Ahhhhhh, but then came The School for The Work.

Sitting slowly with a whole group of people, and Katie facilitating. There, together, we sat for 9 days over and over again questioning stressful situations. Seeing what I had objected to, in some cases since childhood. Going through all four questions of The Work, and finding turnarounds.

If it hadn’t been for being in a group program, I would have left for a movie.

The kind where you eat popcorn and it’s about someone else’s life, not mine. Preferably with a happy ending.

After The School, I really got that connecting with other people, sharing in the discoveries, telling the truth about my thinking, does something so deep. It created intimacy and dissolved shame, fear and embarrassment at what I had been calling “my” thoughts.

Wow! I thought. There aren’t new thoughts, and I’m not a Special Case (like the only person The Work doesn’t work for, or the only person who had “x” happen and can’t get over it).

After seeing and experiencing the power of the group spending time together to question and BE in inquiry, I noticed something interesting had happened.

2a) The paper comes out, and a pen is fetched, and I remember and consider doing The Work after #2. I get some insight. I feel relief. I step back from my “problem”. I maybe even get excited. I do not necessarily move on to #3!

Then….after more practice and more time spent partnering with other people, sharing The Work, facilitating and receiving facilitation from other human beings….something VERY interesting happened.

#1 occurs. Something troubling happens.

1a) The paper comes out, I get a pen (or open my laptop) and I’m writing down my judgments and answering all the questions on the Judge Your Neighbor worksheet RIGHT AFTER #1.

I realize I might have been over-reacting. A new way to handle the situation pops in my head. I feel calmer. I get the sense in not such a scary way that I might not know what’s really going on. I might laugh.

And then…..

….I bet you can guess what happened next.

I began to sit down with pen and paper, before anything appears to have happened (#1) and actually go through memories ON PURPOSE to find events, disturbances, situations I thought I forgot all about after #4.

I no longer wished I had forgotten about those things.

I notice I hadn’t, even when I wanted to. Not really.

This unraveling and uncovering all the dark corners of my past, and diving into inquiry to address these memories, have mostly happened during retreats and partner work with others.

Now I’m not saying it’s impossible to do on your own.

I have LOVED sitting now, and doing The Work all by myself.

But hands down….the best is when I am supported by the energy of other human beings (or just one other partner) sharing the inquiry together.

Sometimes you just want someone to hold your hand, or give you a hand up, or take your arm as you’re walking along the path, or laugh with you. It allows you to notice you’re not mad.

It’s made all the difference in the world to me.

Who would I be without my stressful thoughts?

Grateful beyond measure to everyone (and to Katie) for coming along for the ride, and noticing….

….I’ve had support, connection, others and life sharing All This with me the whole time.

I just didn’t see it.

If you feel isolated and stuck, or lost when you try to inquire, or you get obsessive and aggravated with your own thinking, or you think you’re the only one not getting this….

….then you may be ready to join the next and newest brilliant version of Year of Inquiry.

I am so touched and excited by each and every person who says “yes” to this adventure.

There are several new components to Year of Inquiry, but one primary thread: doing The Work together. Not leaving you on Planet Mars to fend for yourself in outer space without the four questions or without your own answers.

The most amazing people show up for inquiry together for a year.

You may make a friend you’ll know when you’re 85 years old. People in Year of Inquiry from previous years continue to partner and share with people they met in their first YOI. I get notes all the time from participants. Some people return over and over to YOI, as this work has become part of their transformational life practice and they know they want community for it over time.

Registration is open for early bird Year of Inquiry 2016-2017. If you’re curious about what it’s like, read on:

We meet three times a week via telesession (free for anyone from all over the world through the internet). You come to one session a week, or all three–you get to choose.

We’ll do immersion into deep partner work, especially for everyone interested in credit with Institute for The Work of Byron Katie. while this is optional, it’s an amazing process for people who want to learn the one-for-one way of partnering taught in the Institute for The Work (ITW).

We meet twice in Seattle, Washington (optional) for 4 days for two retreats. People fly from all over to be together. We also have a monthly webinar (new) on our topic and to review best practices for The Work and going deep into Q &A.

While we have ten powerful topics for inquiry during our year together, everyone in YOI also has access for free to at least 2 other teleclasses I teach on some of the same topics (money, eating, relationships, sexuality, pain/sickness, parenting) for no charge. Local YOI folks enrolled in the FULL program can also come to my monthly Deep Divers Sunday closed group that meets October through June.

It’s quite simply, a HUGE INCLUSIVE WELCOME to everyone who wants to stay connected throughout the entire year to all the brilliant people who show up to do The Work together under the apparent umbrella organization of Work With Grace.

I do this because I love The Work and I love exploring the truth and I love waking up.

I couldn’t do it without you.

If you’d like all the information about Year of Inquiry, please visit and read this page. You can scroll down for the logistical details to the bottom of the page including dates, times, and the fee schedule.

You can choose the Whole Shebang (everything including retreats) or Everything Except Retreats (for those more available online via phone/computer).

So excited to see who joins the new YOI. You are already part of my heart and soul. Everyone who has gone before you, all the other participants, have helped make this a better and better program over time, with improvements and sharp clarity, and a brilliant awareness of what works.

I can’t wait. This is gonna be better than ever.

And I’m talking about what we’ll discover about Reality.

If you’re not up for this huge commitment of an entire year, or you don’t have the funding….look for a meetup in your area, find a partner, go over to my facebook page Work With Grace and share that you’re looking to trade The Work with someone (I might be able to pair you up), call the Help Line, come to a retreat.

This work doesn’t require anything, except a willing, open mind….and I know if you’re here, you’ve got one!

“Take thoughts in as if you were a lover. Thoughts are the Beloved. If you don’t love them, you’re at war. Invite them in, put them on paper, make love….Fear is a trance. Inquiry wakes you up.” ~ Byron Katie during Being With Byron Katie

Much love,

Grace

July 6, 2016

Money problems? Thinking problems!

Last night I went to test out the gorgeous big-screen at the lodge where we’ll be watching Being With Byron Katie and moving into silence in between all sessions starting on Saturday.

Wow.

The internet connection worked beautifully, and I felt thrilled to be one of the people about to enter listening-only-mode with Byron Katie as she teaches from Switzerland.

I feel so lucky.

This retreat has space for 2 more people. I operate this one at a non-profit level, which sometimes brings up a few thoughts about MONEY.

ARRGGG, will it never end?!

(You’ll see in a sec what I’m talking about, when it comes to the “arrggg” part around money).

What the non-profit deal means, is everyone attending pays the small rate of $165 for attending one, two, three or all four days with Katie. If you have to leave, or miss any days, then included in your registration is free access to the recordings through August 31st.

Everyone who attends gets to sign up for viewing time, on their own, from their own home, using my log-in. It takes some scheduling prowess because we can only have one person logged in at a time, but we have full permission and an awesome scheduler. It worked fabulously last year.

So back to the money part I mentioned.

As in non-profit.

Now, as of today, I am sooooooo OK with this retreat with the money part.

Because why?

Because I am not losing money, so reality is going my way (ha ha).

All my expenses have now been reimbursed. I’ve put many hours into arranging it, planning it, organizing people, answering questions….and not put any financial expectation on the working hours required to pull the event together. As in, no money expected for the organizing of this retreat.

However, when I put the payment down on the lodge I rent for retreats here in Seattle, for 5 nights, it felt like a pretty major kaplunk of moolah. Almost $2000 for the lodge rental alone.

There’s a streaming fee of course ($250). Then there are Judge Your Neighbor worksheet copies, a white board and pens, post-it notes, and other small expenses. A few internet fees. Some posting fees for the event announcements.

Even though I know by now, events happen, people show up, it always works out (especially when I have The Work)….

….it’s still scary for that part of me that cares so much about money and prefers more coming in than going out.

Ugh. So much thinking, worrying, wondering about money.

These thoughts move like a stuck tape loop. Needing more money, losing money, not having enough money.

(Will these kinds of thoughts never end during my lifetime?)

How they show up this time, in this situation around this event, are like an old set of flies buzzing around, softening sometimes, rising up again.

They sound like this:

If I charged more, I’d at least pay myself back for all the work. This isn’t fruitful to offer this as a volunteer project. Just because I’m not teaching, doesn’t mean I shouldn’t make money for my time involved. Oh no….if this keeps up, I’ll lose money on this retreat! I am NOT doing this next year. No one understands how awesome this is. People shouldn’t write me to ask for scholarships. I should have more confidence about this retreat. People don’t understand how cool this event is or how insanely cheap compared to live events with Byron Katie. Maybe its so cheap it reduces the awareness of the value. No one realizes they can watch what they miss after the event, without extra cost. I’ve done all this work for nothing. It’s too much work. See #1, loop back. Repeat.

Over and over again, the same kinds of thoughts.

Why not take a look, see what’s left of these annoying beliefs?

More money should come in. I should be paid for effort (I’m somehow NOT being paid).

Is this true?

Yes. Yes. It really would be better to feel compensated for everything. It would be better to earn something, have money coming in. Not breaking even. Breaking even is not good enough!

Are you absolutely sure?

No. No idea. Ha ha.

I look around and notice, I’m absolutely fine. Thriving, enjoying myself, enough to eat, place to live, good business, people coming and excited for this amazing retreat.

How do I react when I think I should have some kind of pay back? That the money isn’t “worth” it, not enough, too low?

Pissy. Annoyed.

Bad attitude. Treating money like I know better, bossing it around.

Nervous. Thinking about NEXT YEAR of all things, when this soon-to-be event hasn’t even happened yet THIS year.

Wildly flailing in the future. Thinking about my bank account. So concerned with enough-ness and deciding this isn’t it.

So who would I be without this belief, though? What if I had no idea, no argument with what is, when it comes to money?

Huh.

You mean….money can do whatever it does, and I don’t mind? Like, I don’t even KNOW it’s doing something uncomfortable, or not good enough?

Yes.

Woah.

I guess I would be noticing how excited I am for this retreat, to spend 4 days listening, instead of talking or teaching or facilitating or expected to lead one single session.

Noticing how relaxed I am right now, in the beautiful summer weather. Breathing deeply. Feeling the amount of money I have and thinking “enough”. Stopping the comparison, pushing, wondering, wishing, wanting….altogether.

No wanting something different.

An amazing relaxed, curious, sweet feeling of being with this present moment. Noticing how fun money is, and it’s enough the way it is. Like this moment.

Turning the thoughts around….

No charging more is required. I am already paid back for my work with joy, connection with others. Plus all the money I’ve spent is reimbursed. This IS fruitful as a volunteer project. Because I’m not teaching, it’s OK to not make money. Oh no….if this keeps up, I’ll gain sanity on this retreat! I have no idea about next year, I’m open to it. All the right and perfect people understand how awesome this is. Maybe I’m the one who doesn’t. People should write me to ask for scholarships, it’s wonderful and gives me ideas for doing this in the future. I already have great confidence about this retreat, and I’m feeling more. I could make a scholarship fund for this event. People totally understand how cool this event is and how cheap compared to live events with Byron Katie. I have reduced my own awareness of the value here by being concerned with money. People realize just what they need to realize, and so do I. I’ve done all this work for so much. I am rewarded with love, insights from Katie. I’ll get to enjoy the retreat. It is NOT too much work. For all I know, I’ll become aware of an incredible realization in these four days ahead.

How could the money be doing exactly the right thing, in the right amount, for me….for others….for Seattle….for the world?

Why not?

This could be the most perfect, brilliant, lovely four days for me, and I don’t have to buy any plane tickets or spend anything more than I have, or go to Europe to see Byron Katie in person. I get to be with all these amazing people coming to attend to their minds….with a passionate interest in freedom.

I get to hear one of the world’s gifted teachers of peace, and hardly have to leave my own home.

Wow. Such a deal.

“I’ve never seen a work or money problem that didn’t turn out to be a thinking problem. I used to believe that I needed money to be happy. Even when I had a lot, I was often sick with the fear that something terrible would happen and I would lose it. I realize now that no amount of money is worth that kind of stress.” ~ Byron Katie

No LACK of money is worth that kind of stress either.

I notice right now, in this moment, I’d rather be free than right about money, profit, income, being paid, being compensated.

How do I know I shouldn’t be making MORE in this event?

I’m not.

Much love,

Grace

P.S. It’s been a few years, but I created a full webinar on money, and questioning what I call a “Belief Cluster” of thoughts about money we commonly believe, all of which bring terrible stress. If you’d like to watch it, click here.

July 1, 2016

Ten reasons why Summer Camp (INQUIRY) is so healthy for kid (ADULTS)

summercamptogether My fingers have been wildly tapping the keyboard of my computer as questions come in for these upcoming events taking place very soon.

I love your questions! And they actually help me be clearer.

So even if you’re kinda tired of hearing about Summer Camp which starts in three days….I’m answering some important Q’s as I’ve gotten so many. And I’m sharing how Camp and Inquiry offer such wonderful freedom. (You ultimately make your own camp, anywhere, any time).

Summer Camp for The Mind is a completely virtual 7 week “camp” session with one 90 minute call offered every single weekday for people to do The Work of Byron Katie and inquire into their stressful beliefs. You don’t have to come to every call. You choose which calls you attend. Meaning, literally….you can attend two calls during the entire summer 7-week session, or all 32 of them.

What’s good about dialing in and doing The Work….like….why would anybody want to?

Well, if you’re super shy like me (very introverted) or you find it difficult to stop you’re daily life responsibilities to travel to learn and do The Work in a retreat space or a class, or you normally can’t afford the smaller in-depth group classes or events….

….OR, even more importantly, you simply do not question your thinking when you’re on your own and busy….

….then this may be just the ticket.

The Work is like meditation. It’s a practice to return to over and over again. You don’t meditate for an hour and say “WOW! BINGO! I am now completely peaceful with silence and life for All Time!”

Meditation is like an energy. We’re tapping into the wisdom of being.

With The Work, we’re answering the same four questions, but finding over and over again new layers of insight, new glimmers of freedom. We wake up, sometimes slowly, sometimes suddenly, out of the huge variety of stories we have from all our life experiences.

Sharing together via teleconference also has a powerful affect and benefit for us, even if we listen only It’s remarkable what listening to someone else is like, learning we’re not alone. We don’t say a word, and yet we’re riveted by someone else’s personal work….because it’s just like ours. The circumstance doesn’t really matter. We show each other the way.

I find, joining together in this remarkable way invented by the technology we live with in our times….it’s like we’re a think-tank of brilliant people, pooling our minds together to create One Mind in awareness. And this awareness brings so much peace, clarity and joy. It’s strangely simple, and strangely profound. No “teacher” is required for The Work. You are your own teacher. All you really need is a willingness to be open, to write, to contemplate without expectations.

Meditation is like that. We don’t know what will happen in a meditation session, but our great intention is to make friends with silence. With The Work, we get to make friends with our chattering and nervous minds, and even make peace with events from the past.

The first Opening Day session on July 5th is free for everyone (find the link on the Summer Camp page and come on board with us). July 5th is open to everyone. Even if you’re not registering for Summer Camp! The July 5th session is extra long, but if you miss it, you can still come to Summer Camp for any sessions you like as long as you’re a registered member. So for example, if you don’t dial in until August 1st, you still can join us for all the calls after August 1st.

Because this is so open, and because you pick what works for your schedule, you also choose what to pay. The suggested fee is $150-$500 depending on how many calls you think you’ll attend and what you’re able to give.

A ninety minute call you can think of as being worth $30 – $50 in dollars, but you also get to choose what feels right to you, and what you can afford. If you have zero income, and you’re wanting support and assistance in daily inquiry (on money and jobs and unemployment, for example) then You Are Welcome. Pay an amount you CAN afford, and you’re in. No questions asked.

This is open season sliding scale for everyone in service to self-inquiry and The Work of Byron Katie, and freeing your mind from stressful thinking in your life.

Note: The only days we don’t meet are Monday July 11 and Tuesday July 12 because many of us–including me–will be attending the Being With Byron Katie Seattle 4 day retreat where we participate through live streaming with Katie all the way from Europe while we’re watching together at a quiet, gorgeous lodge. This event is only $165, a fraction of the normal live events with Byron Katie. An incredible opportunity to be with her almost-live, and sharing the silence with others. This retreat is almost full to capacity.

How do these Summer Camp for the Mind telesessions actually work?

You’ll use your phone, or your computer, to connect at the scheduled hour. There are local alternative phone numbers for those who are long-distance. If you want to use your computer to connect for free, you’ll receive a new link, daily, via email, for each call about 20 minutes before we meet for our Summer Camp session.

Everyone has the option during Summer Camp to listen-only, or to share live and raise your hand to do The Work. None of the calls will be recorded (the way I usually do in other classes). This assures peoples’ privacy and encouragement to give it a try.

When you sign up, you’ll learn the three options for joining: phone,webcall (you can speak and we’ll hear you just like you’re on the phone) or webcast (listen-only).

If you’d like to join the July 5th Opening Day call first, before signing up for Summer Camp all the way….no problem. After the Opening Day session, just go visit the Summer Camp page on my website and register for the rest of the summer when you’re ready (you pick the amount manually entering what you want to pay). I’ll send you all the information on how to join calls after I receive your registration.

Finally, you may wonder after all this what the schedule is, so you can see what works for you if you’re in Europe or Australia or Costa Rica or South Africa. Here are the times for all the calls, every weekday. Again, if you come only Mondays, for example, you are entirely welcome. There will be 5 Monday calls total (since we miss 7/11) so you might only want to donate $150. If you’re coming Tuesday, Weds, Thursday every single week, you’ll have 21 calls of immersion into The Work so you may choose to donate more. Let it match what feels right.

Here’s the full schedule:

Mondays 2-3:30 pm PDT/5-6:30 pm Eastern/10-11:30 pm London
Tuesdays 5-6:30 pm PT/8-9:30 pm Eastern/8:00 am Australia
Wednesdays noon-1:30 pm/3-4:30 pm Eastern/9 pm Europe
Thursdays 9-10:30 am/noon-1:30 pm/5-6:30 pm London
Fridays 10-11:30 am/1-2:30 pm Eastern/6-7:30 pm London

These telesessions meet from July 5th through August 19th (but not on July 11 or 12).

The other day, I read a healthy childhood psychology article about why Summer Camp can be so fabulous for kids (I had an awesome time in summer camp when I was young).

The very same reasons are true for The Mind.

Here’s my special version of why inquiry, and doing Camp together, is so good for us ADULTS….for our thinking.

Substitute the word “camp” with “The Work” for this entire list and enjoy the fun reading.

It may be healthy for kids to enjoy childhood at camp….but for me, it’s even more healthy as an adult to enjoy adulthood in inquiry!!

10. Spend time in quality action: As children (ADULTS) spend so much time these days inside (THEIR HEADS), camp provides a wonderful opportunity to move (MENTALLY, TO A NEW PERSPECTIVE, and PHYSICALLY TO FEEL IN THE BODY).CAMP IS ACTION!

9. Experience success and become more confident – Camp helps children (ADULTS) build self-confidence and self-esteem by removing the kind of (MENTAL) competition that shapes their lives. With its non-competitive (INQUIRY), camp (TELE-SESSIONS) are a real boost for young people (ADULTS). CAMP SHOWS YOU THAT YOU CAN!

8. Gain resiliency – The kind of encouragement and nurture kids (ADULTS) receive at camp makes it a great environment to endure setbacks, try new (and thereby maybe a little frightening) things, and see that improvement comes when you give something another try (BY INQUIRING). CAMP HELPS DISSOLVE FEARS!

7. Unplug – When kids (ADULTS) take a break from distractions (FROM THEIR STRESSFUL THINKING) they rediscover their creative powers and engage the real world–real people, real activities, and real emotions. CAMP IS REAL!

6. Develop life-long skills – Camps provide the right environment and guidance for kids (ADULTS) to enhance their abilities, their artistic talents, and their adventure skills. The sheer variety of (INQUIRY) offered at camp makes it easy for kids (ADULTS) to discover and develop what they like to do. CAMP EXPANDS YOUR ABILITIES!

5. Grow more independent – Camp is the perfect place to practice making decisions without parents and teachers guiding every move (ESPECIALLY THE PARENTS AND TEACHERS IN YOUR HEAD FROM THE PAST). Everyone welcomes this as a freedom to blossom in new directions. CAMP HELPS YOU DEVELOP WHO YOU ARE.

4. Have free time for unstructured play (INQUIRY) – Free from the overly-structured, overly-scheduled routines of home and school (WORK), camp gives children (ADULTS) free time to just play (INQUIRE). Camp is a slice of carefree play (INQUIRY) where you can relax, laugh, and be silly. AT CAMP WE PLAY!

3. Learn social skills – Coming to camp means joining a close-knit community where everyone respects each other. When they live in a cabin (WHEN WE DO THE WORK) with others, we share answers, resolve disagreements, and see firsthand the importance of sincere communication. CAMP BUILDS TEAMWORK!

2. Reconnect with nature (YOUR TRUE NATURE) – Camp is a wonderful antidote to “true-nature deficit disorder,” and to the narrow experience of modern (MENTAL) life. Outdoor experience (GETTING OUT OF YOUR STRESSFUL STORIES) enriches perception of the world and supports healthy development. CAMP GETS YOU BACK OUTSIDE (YOUR NEGATIVE BELIEFS).

1. Make true friends – Camp is the place for making best friends (WITH YOURSELF). Free from social expectations, camp encourages kids (ADULTS) to relax and make friends easily. All the fun (INQUIRY) at camp draws everyone together. Everyday, CAMP CREATES FRIENDSHIP.

YES. I love Summer Camp for The Mind. I love inquiring into the painful stories that cause suffering, using the powerful method called The Work. Join me.

Much love,

Grace

June 28, 2016

Does life feel like one big NO COMFORT Zone sometimes?

Did someone say there was a Comfort Zone somewhere? I don’t see it.

Opening Day to Summer Camp for The Mind is a unique online mini-retreat for three hours from 5:00 – 8:00 pm Pacific Time and it costs nothing. Anyone and everyone are welcome. Tell your friends and family if they’re interested in doing The Work of Byron Katie.

If you want to come to the online Opening Day mini-retreat, head to the Summer Camp page and scroll down. You can’t miss it–the link is already right there. Click it at 5 pm on July 5th and join. No registration required.

You can listen-only, or participate live (audio only) via your computer or your phone.

Now here’s something kind of funny….the very same day, in the morning, it just happens to be First Tuesday of The Month Meetup Call, for 75 minutes. This monthly call is also open to everyone and anyone who wants to question their stressful thinking.

So you could start your day with inquiry, and end your day with more inquiry. And see what happens in between!

Life’s a sandwich!

And it’s a pretty good sandwich if the bread is The Work.

If you’ve been wanting a Walk-Through of The Work of Byron Katie from start to finish, and you don’t want to leave your home to do it, either one of these would be great. I recommend using headphones, but you can do speaker phone, too.

We’ll start at the very, very, very beginning at the first step of The Work—locating and clearly identifying a stressful experience, interaction, conversation or situation in your life.

Then, we’ll apply the four questions. You can listen, or raise your hand and participate.

If you love it and want to continue in inquiry until August 19th you can sign up after the mini-retreat Opening Day of Summer Camp For The Mind July 5th. You’ll sign up by donating what works for you.

Yep, I really mean it. No set fee.

Why do I do it this way?

Well, I remember myself and the way I thought about trying new or public or group things, or new venues for things I already did regularly.

It wasn’t so easy to actually take the plunge and try it.

As in, I had to build up a lot of nerve, energy, interest and motivation to go for it.

(I’m still like this sometimes–I’ve been thinking about going to a regular yoga class for almost two years).

It’s funny to like trying new things, and also NOT LIKE IT ONE BIT.

Can’t we just stick with the usual? Not any big major changes?

Can’t I makes changes slllllooooowwwwwwlllllyyyyy? So there’s no surprises?

There’s this term called Comfort Zone.

I know you’ve heard it.

Yada yada, so boring if I hear that term One More Time about comfort zone and getting out of it I’m going to stab my hand with a pencil.

Heh heh. Not that I get THAT excited about coaching terminology.

But for me….my whole LIFE was out of the Comfort Zone.

Where is the comfort zone, I thought? I’m looking for it on a daily basis!

Is it over there? No. Is it over here? No.

Comfort Zone Comfort Zone, where are you hiding? (Picture a dog owner looking for the dog in the neighborhood, and the dog’s name is Comfort Zone. That’s what it was like on the inside, yelling and wandering the streets).

No wonder I didn’t want to try anything new! It seemed there was no such thing as a comfort zone in my area, and let’s get clear….new stuff DEFINITELY wasn’t it, so new stuff was OUT.

For me, the reason I usually tried something new was because I was so incredibly uncomfortable with what I currently was living, I couldn’t take the pain anymore, the suffering.

The Work is a way to dig into this state of mind. LACK of Comfort Zone.

So welcome to anyone who is unhappy, feels screwed up, feels miserable with work, relationships, parents, family, circumstances, money, body, eating, addiction, anger, criticism, sadness, annoyance, disappointment.

When I began to do The Work, that’s where I started. No Comfort Zone in sight. It’s why I went to The School for The Work.

And I found….with practice….

….maybe the Comfort Zone was here all along, I just couldn’t see it because I was wearing some really, really dark glasses.

“You can take the four questions and find yourself. The questions are the path back to your self. They don’t care what the story is. They just wait for you to answer them.” ~ Byron Katie in 1000 Names for Joy

It’s OK if you don’t find anything with The Work. It’s almost better if you have zero expectations. Let life unfold the way it does, without you managing it or trying to stay safer or trying to get somewhere different (like the aforementioned CZ, I’ll try not to think about it).

I don’t always feel comfortable. In fact, sometimes I’m quite uncomfortable.

But thank goodness for the quiet solitude, the slowing down, the stillness, the simplicity….of The Work.

If you’d like a daily meditation for seven weeks during the summer (or a free mini-retreat on Tuesday July 5th from 5-8 pm in the evening Pacific Time) then head over to this page and scroll down a wee bit to find the link to the Opening Day of Summer CampOnline Mini Retreat. Anyone can join, no registration or opt-in required.

I would truly love to work with you.

Much love,

Grace

June 27, 2016

Busy Bee (+ Online Mini Retreat Opening Day Summer Camp for The Mind)

This morning I got up to early morning summer sun at my little Seattle cottage (back from Breitenbush) and felt the joyful excitement of many upcoming events in inquiry. I watered the tomatoes and the corn I’m growing and looked at the gorgeous bright sky, breathing deeply.

Then I came inside and I opened my laptop and started downloading all the emails I missed and messages and communications while off in the woods teaching retreat.

Someone wrote to me about Summer Camp for The Mind. It doesn’t seem like the time written for Mondays on your website is correct. What are the call-in hours exactly?

Another person wrote to me about a broken link for the Being With Byron Katie event. Can I register for your Seattle event plus reserve a bedroom? But what if my friend and I just go home every night, can we do it that way, too? Do we seriously have to stay silent the whole time?

Someone else facebooked about the Opening Day for Summer Camp for The Mind on July 5th–isn’t it supposed to be free? It doesn’t say so on your website, I wanted to try it first and then sign up for all of Summer Camp if I liked it.

Another person emailed saying she never got my reply (I’ve had email-sending cooties off and on for months) about coming for her personal 3 hour mini retreat mid-July.

I then got awesome news about my Year of Inquiry program starting in September and how it may be approved for many credits with the Institute for The Work if I make a few changes.

Fifteen hours later.

Hey! Don’t look at me like I’m a Workaholic! I’ve got a business to run here! (Say it in a New York accent slightly shouting).

I wasn’t working EVERY minute on the computer. Jeez.

I went to the grocery store and buy yummy blueberries and strawberries and yogurt and bananas and cheese and nectarines and other delicious summery things! That took 30 minutes!

I also went to the gym. Oh. Er.

I’m a little embarrassed to say, I took my computer with me and kept working while there. Yes, of course it’s possible to do that!

What?!! Did you just roll your eyes?

And I also taught the last session of the lovely current Eating Peace Core Teleclass (another session starting September 8th by the way, stay tuned). So I was actually with live people in inquiry, connected and NOT fixing tech stuff, replying to people, creating facebook events or updating website pages.

Don’t look at me like that.

This is all very, very, very important.

Sigh.

Who would I be without the belief I need to do it all, like….NOW? That I should respond to every single person who’s had questions for me? That I must stay on task and who cares if it’s a sunny day in Seattle and the thought whispered by of swimming in the sweet-tasting lake nearby?

I’d stop.

I’d finish this Grace Note, open my calendar and write in it for tomorrow “swimming break” between morning clients and evening clients.

I’d notice how much fun I actually had today, figuring a bunch of stuff out very efficiently.

I’d also notice balance is nice. Balance is gentle.

Who would I be without the belief that anything is required?

Simply chuggin’ along, hearing silence underneath All This, taking a very deep breath, very happy and satisfied and excited with all that was accomplished today. Hearing the quiet darkness of a summer night float down.

Now, noticing an incoming text from my son. Stopping. Time to call him.

Slowing down, slowing down.

Remembering with astonishment how nothing is required.

And so much can happen, anyway.

Time to stop. I almost forgot. Plus even when I didn’t stop, night came.

“The Master does his job and then stops. He understands that the universe is forever out of control, and that trying to dominate events goes against the current of the Tao. Because he believes in himself, he doesn’t try to convince others. Because he is content with himself, he doesn’t need others’ approval. Because he accepts himself, the whole world accepts him.” ~ Tao Te Ching #30

Much love,

Grace

May 28, 2016

Trying hard to be careful….can hurt you (and Breitenbush special gift)

BreitenbushFB — Trying hard to be careful….can hurt you (and Breitenbush special gift)

Leaving home to get together with a group to explore and learn something or travel to distant lands is a pretty common human activity.

It’s also a pretty huge hassle sometimes, and requires a lot of resources and the right circumstances. Job, money, time, freedom to go.

I have to get this body from here to there. Here, I am in my comfortable home where I’m used to the bed, the bathroom, I know where anything I need is stored, there is no issue of uncertainty about finding water, bathing, toothpaste, cupboards holding food I myself have purchased.

Going somewhere requires getting in a vehicle, buying a plane ticket or a train ticket, spending other money to make sure you have what you think will bring you comfort, saying goodbye to friends and family and the familiar….

….and uncertainty.

What will it look like, what will happen? Will I be uncomfortable? Can I find what I need when I’m there (not here)? Will I be able to relax? Will I be threatened in some way, no matter how small? Will there be bugs, or strange noises, or weird people?

It’s funny how the mind will activate and start flashing pictures before your eyes of why NOT to do something new, go someplace different, travel, explore, move, change, see something unusual.

Even if staying home is boring, same same, too comfortable, unfulfilling, or maybe fraught with abrasive family relationships that aren’t that fun.

Better stay at least in the familiar. It could be worse.

I find the mind has the same kind of worry, avoidance, and discomfort with the internal landscape of who we are.

The mind will say…..

….this right here can’t be “it”, can’t be enough. This right here is not entirely fulfilling. Maybe this right here, my life as it is, actually has some discord and tension. Arguments with co-worker, spouse, child, parent, neighbor.

But don’t try anything different!

It could be worse!

It’s like the mind, or that way of thinking, is peppered or infused with what I like to call “careful” syndrome.

Be careful. Life is tricky. Anything could happen. Watch out. Don’t be reckless. Don’t go overboard. Don’t try it. Do not jump. Don’t make that move. You’ll regret it. I said be careful!!

Sounds like a nervous parent, doesn’t it?

But are you sure you need to be careful? Is this actually true? Are you positive this carefulness is required, or the best approach to life? Or the least dangerous?

Whew.

No.

I’ve felt a lot of twisted up tightness and unhappiness when believing I need to be careful. And I have NO idea if my carefulness ever, ever prevented something bad from happening.

I’m pretty sure that me being careful has never meant safety.

Could life be worse?

Now, that’s an interesting question. We have NO IDEA what will occur in the future, not even for sure tomorrow or even 6 minutes from now. It’s sooooo goofy that the mind can even come up with this imaginary scenario that it could be worse.

I actually don’t know it’s true. It could be something might happen, and even if it’s big and dramatic, or scary….it’s NOT worse.

How do you react when you think you should be careful? Or else (worse, bad, terrible)?

I stay home. I work a lot. I keep busy in a weird kind of way that prevents silent time and opening up to deeper thinking. I skip meditating. I push towards some of the same goals. I don’t have conversations that might be important to have….uncomfortable ones. I don’t bring up things I feel anxious to speak about. I don’t make changes. I don’t try anything truly different. I don’t travel, physically, or internally.

Who would you be without this story of You Needing To Be Careful?

Huh.

The strangeness of being without this thought suddenly comes forward. I notice how much care and effort I’ve made in my life to be cautious, tentative, not plunge in, wait, hesitate, decide against something.

What if I didn’t think my children should be careful? What if carefulness wasn’t required? What if taking care, in this anxious way, didn’t prevent “bad” things from happening? What if everything happened, whether I was taking care or not? What if it truly was not necessary whatsoever, or even possible, to Be Careful?

Gulp.

Mind blown.

Turning the belief around:

I do not have to be careful. There is no WORSE way for it to be. It’s THIS way, the way it is. It could be BETTER.

Wow, it could be better. Change could offer something interesting. Staying the same, and relaxing with it, could also offer something interesting.

My thinking and the story my thoughts invent make things worse. I scare myself with my imagination. (Ha ha, isn’t that the truth)?

And what if I lived this turnaround, that things might be better, or unknown and mysterious (yay) and what if I was willing to have anything happen?

What if I could sense in my bones the feeling of looking forward to anything that happens?

Yes, anything.

No resistance. No bracing myself for the blow, or being exceptionally careful so it doesn’t hurt so bad, or blocking and avoiding so I don’t get over-stimulated or exhausted. No walking on eggshells. No holding back.

It doesn’t mean, oh no….I’m now going to hurt myself or other people. It’s not swinging to the complete opposite “I’ll be CARELESS!” like now I’ll try to jump off the roof because dang-it I want to see what it’s like to fly for two seconds!

It’s not running wildly through a china shop knocking over everything, or doing this to the inside of my psyche and my inner world and freaking myself out.

But it is expanding my world into far more possibilities.

It feels, when I live the turnaround and feel the turnaround “I do not HAVE TO be careful” like I trust something about reality. I’m here, willing to be here, looking forward to being here until I’m not.

This feels deeply joyful. It feels like a place beyond this mental outlook or worrying story. It feels full of wonder.

Wonder, and awe, and many adventures and travels.

Who are you, without the story that you need to watch out, or be careful?

Don’t Make Lists by Dorothy Walters

Every day a new flower rises

from your body’s fresh soil.

Don’t go around looking

for fallen petals

in a fairy tale, when you’ve

got the golden plant

right here, now,

shooting forth in light from your eyes,

your awakening crown.

Don’t make lists, or explore ancient accounts.

Forget everything you know

and open.

Are you ready for an adventure of the inner AND outer kind?

There is such an adventure for those who are called, at Breitenbush Hotsprings Resort and Conference Center in eastern Oregon deep in the old growth forest. It’s a stunning physical setting, and your physical body is well nourished and cared for with silent bathing pools to use (outside of our retreat sessions), delicious vegetarian home-cooked meals full of vegetables and fruits, and the air filled with emerald green ancient trees.

The beds are all exquisite (I stay right there every year and sleep so well, it’s amazing). The night is so silent and dark, it’s a drastic comparison to city and town life. No cell service, no internet. You’ll unplug

And on the inside, we investigate with mind, heart and soul. We start with The Work on an important and difficult issue in our lives, someone we’re at odds with, something we find disturbing. We get to spend time with our perspective and take it through this most powerful form of self-inquiry. We get to wonder about new ways to see, like not being so careful, not feeling stuck or squished in our lives.

Breitenbush Summer Retreat is less than a month away. There are only a few spaces left, and a few of those delicious beds. Call them to register today, before they open up the beds to the general public. Click here: Breitenbush for all the information you need to call them, and find many questions answered.

At Breitenbush, we do The Work, take silent breaks, eat in silence together, share facilitation with others, share in our group, walk the labyrinth with inquiry (yes, they have a labyrinth), walk through lush, soft green trails of gigantic trees and wild purple rhododendrons, schedule a massage, soak in the springs, dance on Saturday night in the great lodge hall, and expand our vision, together.

We nurture ourselves by being with ourselves directly. Not carelessly, not fearfully with the kind of care that makes us small….

….but with curiosity, and an opening mind.

Won’t you come join us forgetting what you know to be true that brings you sadness, confusion, irritation and suffering?

Beginners to The Work are totally welcome. Experienced are also very welcome. A beautiful collection of people always arrive. Ready to explore the inner and the outer by stepping away from normal life for 5 days.

Not much time left, if you call very soon you’ll still have some excellent lodging choices…..and some excellent new turnaround choices for your life.

“Don’t be careful, you could hurt yourself.” ~ Byron Katie

Much love, Grace

P.S. I am so touched to let you know of a beautiful offer: If you are seriously considering Breitenbush but concerned about the money, we have an angel donor who is offering some scholarship aid for lodging. She loves the work, has done many programs with me, and wants to support someone attending. Please write grace@workwithgrace.com to learn more and send me an email.

May 4, 2016

Are your thoughts about people (or money) a sacred religion devoted to pain?

Can't Stop Stressful Thinking? Do The Work — if you suffer from believing, you can question your thinking and change your relationships. Hell to Peace.

There’s an amazing group assembled for Relationship Hell To Heaven TeleCourse starting today 9 am Pacific. I can take 2 more people. We meet 90 minutes every Wednesday for 6 weeks. Write to me if you really want to do this, even if you don’t have the full fee and we can sort out a way you can join.

Sometimes this kind of idea….”sorting out a way you can join”….makes people squirm.

Thoughts about money and conversations about money come to mind.

What does sorting out mean? I’ll have to admit I don’t have enough money. I’ll have to say it out loud. I’ll be ashamed. I’ll offend the person who’s asking for a fee (in this case, moi).

Or the reverse. I’ll need to ask for money. I’ll have to say what the regular fee is out loud. I’ll make other people uncomfortable if they don’t have the funds. I’ll turn people away, or turn people off. They’ll think poorly of me, they’ll think I’m selfish or hoggish, they’ll think I’m hoity toity (I love this word, it comes from a verb meaning “to play or pretend” and some say from the French “haut toit” meaning high roof).

I once went to a workshop on money. An entire weekend, starting on Friday night, ending Sunday late afternoon.

There were many exercises and the facilitator was superb. I knew upon registering, going in, that the fee was sliding scale and we would be able to set our own amount at the end of the workshop, and offer the payment when it was over.

I had NO IDEA it would make me so uncomfortable.

On Sunday afternoon, after the full workshop was over, we had to decide what we wanted to give the facilitator, who had traveled from afar to give this program.

I hardly had any money and the whole reason I came was because, well A) I obviously had a problem with money because it was not in my life in much quantity, and B) I thought I could get away with hardly paying a dime and feel fine about it, since there was no set fee.

I was wracked with confusion, guilt, and worry about having No Fee. It was too much freedom. Too much meaning was put into the amount.

What it boiled down to was, I had No Idea what would make the teacher happy. I was used to making the teacher happy, I wanted to make the teacher happy, I didn’t know how to make myself happy.

I finally, uncomfortably, picked an amount that sounded like a “normal” workshop fee amount and wrote a check for $250. It was almost all that was in my savings at the time, but I was too embarrassed to pay less. The workshop was incredibly helpful and I wanted to show this in my fee.

Wow, that last hour deciding what to pay was worth the entire program in itself. Every stressful belief, every painful thought about having enough, or not having enough, came roaring to the surface as we all got to sit quietly, take out our checkbooks, and give honorably.

(Now, when I offer my money telecourse, I do the same thing. LOL.)

But you know, this pain and angst and torturous back-and-forth and “sorting out a way you can join” or “sorting” out the thoughts about money in any situation involving it, is not just about money.

It’s about Relationship.

I noticed, I did the exact same thing when in relationship with others, in many variations. I wondered if they would be pleased. I worried I wouldn’t get or keep what I needed. I watched to see if they would hurt me with words or betray or abandon or insult me. I worried I would accidentally insult them or stick my foot in my mouth. I felt very careful. I had judgements and criticisms.

I felt afraid.

I noticed fear in all forms appearing in my thoughts about others.

How do I get close, how do I feel connected, but not intrude or overstep? How do I speak authentically, but not insult. How do I take in what others say, but only the good stuff (the critical stuff seems to hurt)?

What a huge project. Exhausting.

If you notice there is someone, or several people in your life, with whom you have a tentative, or careful, or troubling, or anger-inducing relationship….

….then write down all those conflicting thoughts and see what words you’re using, and begin to study them.

Take them through The Work, the Four Questions.

How can you live, what does it feel like, how can you be fulfilled, enough, whole, OK, supported, here, receiving, giving, exchanging conversation and love and energy (money or otherwise) in a balanced amount, just right for you in this moment today, with everyone and everything?

How can you be you?

“I work with four and five year old children who suffer from believing the same concepts that adults believe. These concepts are sacred religions; we’re completely devoted to them. ‘People should come,’ ‘people should go,’ ‘people should understand me’, ‘I’m too this’, ‘You’re too that’, ‘my wife shouldn’t lie’, my children should appreciate me’, my husband doesn’t love me’, ‘my mother would be much happier if she saw things the way I do.’ Whatever story we’re attached to, that’s where our devotion is. There’s no room for God in it.” ~ Byron Katie in 1000 Names For Joy

If you want to join the course that starts today at 9 am Pacific, you can move quick, or listen to the recordings if you miss out. RegisterHERE. Or like I said, write to me if you really want to do this work and don’t have the fee. It is my privilege to work with you, if you want to do The Work.

Much love,

Grace

April 25, 2016

deep divers inquiry–why does it work?

Today I’m headed to the distant reaches north of Ottawa, to a cold (snow flurries recently reported) remote area to participate in Orphan Wisdom School with the good Stephen Jenkinson.

I’ll be taking my trusty laptop and sharing with you some of what happens there for me, especially when it comes to the power of self-inquiry and being on this beautiful and crazy planet. Who knows what will happen. Stay tuned!

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	Grace Bell facilitating – notice the new gamer headphones, extremely hip. My game is inquiry, apparently.

During the past year, I’ve been doing more and more mini retreats, something I offered for the first time several years ago: a short intense half-day session doing The Work with a small group.

People come from all walks of life, and I’ve offered them online and in person.

This format morphed into mini-retreats-for-one, where a client and I meet for three hours whether in person or on facetime or skype or facebook video call. The amount of time feels luxurious and incredibly powerful and helpful.

The number of people taking this option has exponentially increased, maybe because it’s such a sweet deep dive. It’s amazing to have the time available to really go beyond the traditional once per week 50 minute sessions in many healing professions (this way isn’t always ideal for everyone).

I wanted to make sure you knew this was an option for you. If you’re concerned with anxiety, eating issues, a really difficult relationship (or lack of one) or trouble at your job, career, a co-worker, it can be awesome to sit with your mind and a facilitator for 3 whole hours.

What I didn’t expect was that people who chose this format for meeting….would want to come back two weeks later for another mini retreat. As long as I have room and space, I’ll do this for the significantly smaller fee than the usual rate for solo sessions (3 hours for mini retreats right now = $225).

So why is this way working, I wondered?

I didn’t even think I had enough 3-hour chunks in my schedule to find space, but they keep appearing to open up just right, for example for a condensed version of inquiry on weekends, or evenings when it’s only 5 pm my time, but 10 am for the inquirer in their time zone.

And why is it working for the inquirers who love to take the time and space to work this mini-retreat way?

I see these five reasons why:

1) there is time for the inquirer to express the presenting “problem” which is a person, situation, condition, a feeling they don’t like about their lives….so they feel heard.

2) with a few questions and further investigation, a MORE critical or worrisome or frightening problem often appears. A childhood memory comes forth, a moment with a parent, or a very stressful time in life with change. These come into focus….like we’re detecting the true source of the trouble, the proof or evidence of suffering they’ve carried with them sometimes for years.

3) The inquirer gets to contemplate and meditate on the Judge Your Neighbor questions very deeply (not the way we usually do things on our own, at least I sure didn’t). When these beliefs are identified, then you’ve got your direction. I do the writing for the inquirers, they sit still and give all their attention to simply answering the questions, nothing more required. (If you want to see the Judge Your Neighbor worksheet questions, they’re right here).

4) We inquire into stressful belief(s) using the four questions. We relax and take a short break if needed part way through for just 5 – 10 minutes (or not). We let The Work run the session.

5) The inquirer is left with clear Next Steps. Other situations or scenes to explore and investigate. We’ve taken time to start at the surface, and then look into the fog, clearing out the cloud cover and finding it’s safe to go deeper.

Another way to spend more time slowing down to discover what really disturbs you is to take a small class with others. Meeting once a week for 6 or 8 sessions is such an awesome way to anchor your time in inquiry (and spend less, but also learn from hearing other peoples’ inquiry work).

Whichever way you enter inquiry, I personally think the mind finds it too slow.

Can’t this go faster? Can’t I just get a quick one-sentence answer to life? Can’t someone tell me how to calm down and chill?

Well….maybe that’d be nice….but not really, no.

It just doesn’t work the “fast” way. You don’t really want it super fast, anyway–you want the truth, not some quick answer, right?

Really, the only way I ever found to enter peace was to look into what caused me, personally (it seemed) to move OUT of peace.

I had to tell and question my story, to respect my story, to honor my story for being like a two year old. I had to give it the time it deserved because it was the only one I had.

As I look back at myself doing The Work, and all the incredible inquirers who appear in my life for facilitation….what I see is we all have to start at the very beginning (like Maria in the Sound of Music). We look at the difficult, stressful stories of suffering we’ve been living out, sometimes for our entire lives.

But now, we get to wonder….is it true?

“So in the beginning, to deeply inquire about anything, you have to care about it. You have to care enough to allow it to get inside that shell. What do you really care about? What pulls you into here and now, this minute? What is the most important thing to you? For real inquiry, it is important to be asking about something you sincerely care about. The question needs to be personal, not about a spiritual teaching or something that’s outside of your experience. It needs to be something that’s coming from the inside.” ~ Adyashanti

Are you ready to join a small group or have your own one-to-one solo session(s)? If so, I’d love to work with you. It’s the greatest honor I have in my life….exploring what we truly, honestly care about and finding out what’s actually true, for ourselves.

Much love,

Grace

P.S. Relationship Hell To Heaven is a 6 week telecourse starting Weds, May 4th. We meet 9-10:30 am Pacific Time, and all you need to begin is a willingness to clearly notice what your stressful story is about ANY relationship in your life (mom, dad, brother, sister, neighbor, spouse, boss) and dig into the beliefs you have about that person without editing yourself. What an awesome place to do it, in a telegroup. You’ll start to feel less embarrassed about your thoughts, you’ll be inspired by others, you might even feel normal, and free, and discover solutions you haven’t thought of before. Register here. Join me in the Peace Movement.