Room for two more people on Saturday in Seattle’s Mini Retreat, write to me by hitting “reply” to this email if you want to come. 1:30-5:30 pm, worth 4 CEUs.
The process of the doing The Work really is like a guided meditation.
You can do it with yourself, if you’re patient with your own mind.
To have your own mini retreat like the one we’ll be doing in person on Saturday afternoon, set aside at least one hour of quiet time. Get a friend if you can. That will really help you stay on track.
Then follow these steps.
Step One: Think of a situation in which you felt hurt, anxious, angry or sad about someone else. Don’t do it on yourself. Everyone always wants to do it on themselves. But you weren’t born upset with yourself….it came alive through interactions with other people for the most part.
So go outward first, to keep it really simple.
Step Two: Get what you’re thinking, all the awkward, vicious, judgmental, depressing stuff on paper. Don’t edit yourself. You can burn the paper afterwards. The worksheet for doing this is the Judge Your Neighbor worksheet and you can get it atwww.thework.com.
Step Three: Look over everything you’ve written down. All your aggressive, mean, childish, petty, judgmental concepts about that person in that difficult situation.
Pick ONE. Make sure the sentence, this concept, is very simple. If you’re like me and you write long sentences, you may have to break up this concept into two or three very simple, shorter sentences.
For example, you might write: “I am upset because he lied to me about the business transactions and told our secretary that she was going to be fired so she stormed out of the office”. To break this long sentence up, you would write: “he lied to me” and “he told our secretary she was going to be fired” and “she stormed out of the office.”
If you spend time with the Judge Your Neighbor worksheet you will consider on a very deep level WHY this was upsetting for you.
You’ll begin to wonder.
If someone “storms out” what is the trouble with that?
What should or shouldn’t have happened instead? What do you really, really need in that situation to bring you happiness, peace, tranquility, comfort?
Step Four: After you’ve picked only one, simple concept, either answer the questions called The Work in writing….or have someone ask you those questions.
Take it slowly.
Here are the four questions:
1) Is it true?
2) Can you absolutely know that it’s true?
3) How do you react, what happens, when you believe that thought?
4) Who would you be without the thought, if you couldn’t even have the thought at all?
Step Five: Turn the thought you’ve been questioning around to the opposites. Example: he lied to me becomes a) I lied to him, b) he did NOT lie to me, and c) I lied to myself.
Study all of these. Open yourself to all of them. Open your heart to the flip side of the dual nature of the mind. Truth/Lying, Mean/Kind, Hate/Love.
Enter the world of All Sides. No Absolutes.
We’ll do this, quietly and in silence on Saturday.
But even if you live a long, long way from Seattle….you can have your own mini-retreat. Invite a few people over. Print out Judge Your Neighbor worksheets, and then the Facilitation Guide with the questions of The Work.
You never know what one afternoon meditation session can bring.
“The Work is meditation. It’s about awareness; it’s not about trying to change your mind. Let your mind ask the questions, then contemplate. Take your time, go inside, and wait for the deeper answers to surface.” ~ Byron Katie
If you notice that you’re a thinker….then having this time with that mind full of thoughts is so precious, you may be astonished at what can happen, rather than upset with your speedy analytical mental activity.
Your own brilliance may shine. You may find clarity, your own wisdom, your own answers.
Your life may change, just a little (or a whole lot). Soften, relax, pause, expand.
Sign me up.
Much love, Grace