Argggg! The computer thingy won’t go right! The font won’t change! I can’t get a space between paragraphs! The website link isn’t working!
The Work on technical difficulties! Oh boy!
Small movements of attention to the little administrative happenings of life can seem silly to do The Work on….
….they are not matters of life and death, not the greatest stressors.
And yet, in that very moment when the “thing” isn’t working, or it broke, it’s not doing as you wish it to do….it can be very frustrating.
A wonderful microcosm of the way the mind has an opinion, so fast, that the l thing should NOT be the way it is, it should be different.
Sometimes these “smaller” situations for inquiry are actually fantastic for self-discovery, perhaps because there isn’t so much fear present.
Traffic, tardiness, the store closing unexpectedly, the paper getting torn, the files being misplaced, the form too complicated, a late fee getting added to the account, the wait in line being too long, the drawer not opening properly, the dish breaking, the battery too low, the library sending overdue notices, the drain being clogged.
There it is, so quick. I see the situation. I react.
The first question “Is It True?” dials it all back, to PRE-reaction.
It stops everything in motion.
Is it true that the thingy should be easier, different….that this piece of pottery should be united with that piece of pottery to make a whole dish?
No.
The dish is broken. In half. At this moment in reality, it should be broken.
Because that’s what it is.
How do you react when you believe the computer thingy should be different, should work, needs to go another way?
A wave of energy rises through my body, my hands make a clenched fist, I make a sound that is like a growl.
I remember my old lap top getting a virus.
I was driving it to a special place and paying several hundreds of dollars that was very difficult for me to pay at the time (I could question that now).
I remember the feeling of the hassle, the expense, the parking lot, the men who all worked in the sick-computer place. Driving there three times.
How do I react when I believe that it shouldn’t be this way?
I distrust the computer guys. I think about what evil person out there is sending viruses.
I think I need the communication the computer provides.
Inside, I’m reacting like its an emergency.
Who would you be without the thought that this thingy should be NOT broken?
Without the thought that it shouldn’t have gone like that? That it’s terrible if you’re late? That the virus shouldn’t exist? That the drain shouldn’t be clogged? That the toilet shouldn’t be dirty?
This is an amazing question.
What if everything around you, as it flows and moves and comes apart, breaks, takes longer, comes together, and dissolves….what if everything is as it should be?
It feels so light and incredible inside this body, without that thought.
Open, expansive, slowed down, waiting….but with curiosity, excitement, or gentleness.
I turn the thoughts around to the opposite, to see what could be an advantage to this going the way it is going.
“Any time the ego hits “victim” (which is all the time), victim role, victim identity, it’s secure. Can you imagine a planet where when it rains, we complain? I’m a victim of the rain.”~ Byron Katie
Today, in this moment, it’s good that the old laptop got a virus, the cup smashed, the door jammed.
Because I got a brand new more awesome computer.
Because I learn that it is truly OK, even better, that the thing is broken…then it becomes OK that my toe broke, my car stalled, I missed the flight…
….then it is OK that my house burned, my dog died, my dad got cancer.
I actually find advantages.
If I can’t…I find them in these “smaller” situations and notice, miraculously, that I am not a victim after all.
“If you realize that all things change, there is nothing you will try to hold on to. If you aren’t afraid of dying, there is nothing you can’t achieve. Trying to control the future is like trying to take the master carpenter’s place. When you handle the master carpenter’s tools, chances are that you’ll cut you hand.” ~ Tao Te Ching #74