You know how the other day, I shared inquiry on the belief about wanting things to go a certain way in the future?
Funny how thoughts shift, and sometimes so quickly through asking these four questions.
Today, I noticed feeling so happy and excited for upcoming retreats. Such incredible people attending spring retreat here in Seattle it makes me clap my hands (yes, you can commute daily).
AND Todd Smith, a long-time experienced Facilitator of The Work will be joining me for the Breitenbush Retreatt his year.
But mostly, I feel so joyful today with all the sweet inquiry I’ve had the privilege to witness in telegroups and individual sessions with such courageous inquirers.
It takes courage and willingness to question your thoughts.
Or, OK. It takes courage and willingness to even ADMIT your thoughts, which is the very first step.
The other day, for example, I worked with an amazing person who really touched me.
She was so unhappy because a love relationship had gone south quite dramatically, and ended.
She was so sad, she could hardly contain her grief and rage all mixed together. Her thoughts kept turning to herself, and how she was the one who screwed up and if she hadn’t said x, y, z or threatened to break up with him three months ago, this terrible ending wouldn’t have occurred.
I’ve known that voice that condemns the self. It’s dreadful.
But what if you paused before the beliefs come in about how rotten, stupid, and ugly you are?
Those thoughts only exist when you believe this situation shouldn’t have happened. It’s like we take out the whip and start beating ourselves with it mentally, for punishment of this crime of causing something to go wrong.
Are you sure a break-up or change or ending or move in another direction….IS wrong for you? For the other person? For the greater good?
Can you absolutely be sure it’s terrible?
Even if you say “yes” it’s a horrible thing….keep going with inquiry anyway.
How do you react when you believe the break-up, divorce, or getting fired is BAD BAD BAD?
Isn’t that when you begin to hate yourself, or think of yourself as unworthy?
Who would you be without this painful story?
I’m not saying a break-up isn’t shocking. It is sometimes. It’s unexpected, a surprise, and you may not have seen it coming. (And we could question that we should have).
“If we’re even one breath more or one breath less than anyone else, we’re not at home.” ~ Byron Katie
But what if the turnaround is just as true, or truer….that this ending, break-up, divorce, cut-off is good? Or interesting, fitting. Perhaps it has an important invitation.
When I was getting divorced, I sat with this turnaround for a very long time….many times, honestly. And I found examples of why it was good this had happened.
It brought me to know myself in a way previously impossible to reach. It gave the the beauty of becoming comfortable, and then ecstatic, with silence. It gave me so much time to meditate and read.
It gave me the power to question my thoughts like wildfire.
My thinking was the only thing that was painful. I got it.
“We do not need to go out and find love; rather, we need to be still and let love discover us.” ~ John O’Donohue
P.S. a few more spots open for the next afternoon mini-retreat Sunday 3/18 from 2-6 pm. Register here.