Next in-person event: spring retreat May 16-20 in northeast Seattle at a lovely ornate old house with a hot tub and lush, gorgeous grounds. We walk, we meditate, we hear wisdom poetry, we do a whole lot of The Work and the time together is life-changingly precious.
For information please visit here. Room for a few folks to stay at the retreat house, please email and ask grace@workwithgrace.com.
ALSO facebook live on LOVE for Valentine’s Day. 8:00 am Pacific Time February 14th. What are your stressful love thoughts? Reply back to this email to let me know. We’ll do The Work on Wednesday right here.
The other day, I heard myself talking with a dear friend who also does The Work a lot and has attended the School for The Work.
She had heard I was teaching a money course right now, after a month on money in Year of Inquiry that came first, so practically 3 months altogether of facilitating, noticing, walking with our groups through inquiry on money.
It means I’m doing The Work on money myself. I’m remembering, catching different thoughts, sharing different memories and situations. I adore hearing everyone’s stories, or sticking points, or questions, or confusion.
When the inquirers share out loud, whether in the money course or in Year of Inquiry….
….they’re communication naturally inspires others. People don’t feel so alone.
And we sure can feel alone when it comes to money.
Remember the friend I just mentioned I was speaking with? I heard myself say to her “I’ll never retire, I’ll be working until the end of my days trying to pay off my mortgage and make sure I leave something to my children, after screwing around not earning for most of my life until ten years ago.”
It was like all of the sudden my words and tone were full of self-pity and victimish sinking down into the floor.
Ugh.
It went there so fast. Ba-Bam. Hear a story, pick it up and apply it to me immediately. Feel defeated.
It was from the power of comparison. ALL OF IT.
I heard she got a huge raise, she was about to make her final mortgage payment so her house loan was all 100% paid back, and SHE was retiring in two years.
What?
She’s so lucky. I’ll never do that. I should have started earlier and cared about money more. I’m a loser. She’s a winner. Plus, her house is triple the size of mine.
LOL. Sigh.
Is it true?
Yes. Did you hear what she said? Only 3 more mortgage payments and she’s DONE WITH HER LOAN FOREVER.
Can you absolutely know it’s true she’s lucky, and this good fortune is because her house will be paid off soon?
Haha. No.
It’s kind of embarrassing.
I suddenly see my luck to even have a loan and a house and an amazing life working from home doing The Work and sharing with people in the first place. Money flows here and there and everywhere without judgment.
The mind thinks, the mind compares…and I can never know it’s true, honestly. Before this friend told me her details, I was happy. So some words and images entering my head brought the future into my imagination, and my heart sank.
What a wild, magnificent, chaotic, strange thing…believing a thought is.
And it’s not even true.
How do I react when I believe she’s got it made, she’s good with money, I am not?
Scared. Depressed. Lots of pictures of being old and unable to work. Angry at other people who didn’t show me a better way (those parents, partners, meanie friends).
How do I treat money when I believe it’s piling up somewhere else in greater amounts than over here with me?
Gulp.
I’m jilted by it. It doesn’t like me. I’m angry, resentful. Money, you mean nasty conniving friend! You two-faced volatile one! You’re not even nice to me! Stupid money!
(I think I’m about six years old in how I react–or maybe like a jealous pre-teen who wants to date the guy SHE is dating, and is MAD about him not choosing ME).
But who would I be without this heavy, stressful, agonizing story? Without the belief she is lucky with money, she is better off, I’m not liked as much by money, I must have done something wrong?
Who would I be without the belief that money likes her better, like I’m not as likable, not as loved, not claimed, not so wanted?
Ooooh, this is exciting to wonder about!
Without the belief that more money means I’m better off, or safer, or claimed, or honored or favored or loved?
Wow.
Who would I be without that belief?
Noticing the amazing, astonishing abundance around me.
Kitchen lights, colors, red carpet with gold flowers, brown leather purse, laptop, wall calendar, bookshelf, silver ring with sea blue stone, fridge, lamp, silence, wallet with cash inside, four coats in my closet and one draped over the couch, beautiful sound of friend’s voice telling of her joy and hand-clapping, noticing the celebration of life whether money is around or not around, cowboy boot string lights through the living room window.
Without my story, I’m so open to my friend’s phone conversation. I’m excited with her. I hear a person who feels loved and relieved and happy. She’s showing me what it’s like to feel this wonderful way. I’m in the presence of joy.
Turning the thought around:
“I’ll always retire, I’ll be playing until the end of my days paying off my mortgage and adore giving so much to my children. I played just the perfect amount and DID earn most of my life before ten years ago (jeez, that’s true).”
How could the story I have lived with money support me with perfection…no other alternate way possible?
First of all, the reality of it is the way it has been. And in this moment, right now with inquiry, the reality becomes different than my complaint about it.
It’s been perfect with work and money, because I get to meet all these incredible people and have the most intimate and beautiful, holy, sacred, honest, touching conversations with them. We share the most powerful communication in life–the things that bring us to our knees.
It’s perfect with money because I can see nothing more is required in this moment, except inquiry. I get to discover the brilliance that money, or someone else giving it to me, or something being zero-ed out (like a loan for a house) is not required for my own deepest happiness.
Wouldn’t I want to find out that peace is possible without money, or any person, or anything needing to change…including myself?
Astonishing.
It’s unconditional love. Truly un-conditional. No requests. No demands. No adjustments. No hopes. No wishes. No thinking to money, or to any relationship or to any part of life or reality “if you change, then I will be happy”.
Such freedom, such freedom.
“It takes only one person to have a happy marriage, and that one is you.” ~ Byron Katie
In this moment, married to the silence, married to the news from my friend about her coming retirement (whatever that is), married to listening, married to money.
Married to reality.
Without my story….happy.
Much love,
Grace