We all know shame doesn’t feel so good.
In fact, it feels so sickening sometimes, we’d rather die, or dissolve into the floor, or go live on another planet.
The thing is, when you focus on your shameful self, your dreadful act, the horrible way you eat….
….you miss some exceptionally important information about why, and how, this strange way you ate came to happen.
What was going on before you had the thought “I know, I think I’ll go eat something, that’s it!”
How did that process occur? Why do you think it occurred? (And no, the answer is not “because I’m an idiot” or “because I can’t do it right”).
Condemning yourself and beating yourself to a pulp is what leads people often to a violent approach to solving their eating problems. Training regiment, torturous exercise, alarm at 6 am to hit the gym, eating exact amounts of food, weighed and measured and documented and counted with many foods left off the menu, weighing yourself with a scale, measuring body parts with measuring tape.
I repeat often there’s nothing wrong with a food and diet and exercise plan. But they rarely work long-term. They rarely offer permanent peace and satisfaction. They fix the symptom without addressing the underlying cravings and hungers that have nothing to do with food.
At least that’s what happened for me. Thank goodness I couldn’t ever stay on a food plan or diet for longer than a few hours. Something inside of me was determined to get to the bottom of the issue, to see myself and know myself from the inside out, and to end the struggle.
Anyone, including you, can do this.
You don’t need to take vows and oaths and make promises never to eat that way again (or do any other troubling activity you get pulled towards to cope with your thoughts and feelings).
When you identify what you’re thinking and feeling, without shame and self-hatred, and inquire with kindness and self-compassion….
….eating off-balance is no longer necessary.
If you notice shame and meanness arise towards yourself because of the way you’ve eaten….stop. Ask what else is going on, besides failure to eat peacefully?
Get to know the wonder of YOU. It’s not as bad as you think!