This week, I’ve taken time off to be with family and to go hiking in the dark misty rainy deep forests of the Pacific Northwest.
My computer stopped working one day. Giving me more time to be in silence, and to look at my thoughts about “working” and how important I think it is.
It coincidentally happens to be the time in Year of Inquiry where we look at money, during Month Five.
Money. What a topic of ups and downs, highs and lows, success and failure, fear and joy.
But that one deep belief, so simple really: I need more money….oh so tricky and persistent.
At least for me.
I’ve shared about the depths of my crash in the past. (Several Grace Notes include this powerful time that apparently happened and one of the pieces is right here).
As I put together my webinar about doing The Work on money for the Year of Inquiry peeps, I was reminded again of how powerful my thoughts have been about money….
….and needing it.
And again, one of my favorite questions about this money investigation: What would I have, if I had it?
What do I really believe money gives me? What is dangerous about Not Having it?
How fascinating, the mind comes up with answers almost instantly, without question (even though I’ve “done” the work on this before).
If you have money, here’s what you get:
- security
- protection
- health care
- comfort
- fun
- entertainment
- admiration
- belonging
- ability to be generous
- creativity
What this means, if you don’t have money (or not enough money, in your opinion) is that you do NOT have these things, or they are threatened.
How great to have this out in the open. Because then, you can question all these concepts to see if they are in fact true!
Are you absolutely sure that if money is not present, not “yours” that you don’t have enough security, protection, health care, comfort, fun, entertainment, admiration, belonging, ability to be generous, creativity, etc, etc?
You need more of those things, or to guarantee them later on, in the future.
Is that true?
Hmmm.
It seems like to have a happy life, I might need that list.
Although, as I answer the question (is it true?) I can’t be sure. I’m not even sure money brings you those things. (LOL, it doesn’t guarantee any of them).
I was thinking the other day I need more money (to buy a better car, to get better health care, to travel).
You need a better car, better health care, and to travel…..why is that, Grace?
Um. Because. It would be more fun, secure and easy?
True?
Right now I am sitting in a chair feeling fine health-wise. I’m in tip top shape and don’t need to see a doctor, as far as I know. I have no reason to go. I notice also, in this moment, my car works beautifully even though to some it might be called “old” (the year 2000). It is not broken, and it’s warm, light, clean and comfortable and drives me everywhere. Today I went hiking in the woods and was reminded of the Lord of The Rings adventures. It’s like that 45 minutes from my house, in the misty land of the elves.
It’s not TRUE that I “need” more money, or to do any of the things I think more money would bring, in order to be happy at this moment.
How do I react when I believe I need more money?
I get stressed out! I think about working harder, longer hours, doing it better. I start to think what I’ve done already to earn money isn’t good enough (obviously, otherwise I’d be done thinking I need more)! I see pictures of the future of me working when I’m very old and wrinkled and almost 100 years old. No rest, ever!
So who would I be without this thought I need more money? Or without the thought I need any of the things money buys? Or that these things would bring me happiness?
LOL.
Holy Moly!!
I would notice how happy I am right now at this moment. How cozy and warm, how I’m sitting at a laptop computer which I bought myself.
“Has there ever been a time in your entire life when you have not had enough money, when you have not had all of your needs met?” ~ Byron Katie asking the audience
I can’t remember a time when the way it turned out, I needed more money. At least not to be safe, secure, loved, healthy, cared for, or to have fun. I had all those things, with the exact amount of money I had.
There was a time when I needed more money (I thought), and it came to me what to do that day, and the next, and I kept going. It would have been OK if I had no idea what to do, and I wound up living in my mother’s basement. Then I would have been warm, fed, and content THERE.
My suffering was in my thoughts…..not in reality, my body, my heart, other people near me, my spirit.
Without my thoughts about needing more money, I notice this present moment, and there is absolutely no problem.
Maybe you have a piece of paper with numbers on it, and writing says BILL PAST DUE.
Is it the end of the world that you can’t pay? Is it a tragedy that you’re moving out of your house? Are you lying down and starving to death because you lost your job? Does no one care about you because you don’t have x, y or z?
Are you completely safe and secure at all times because you do have a, b, and c?
No.
Turning the thoughts around about needing more money: I need more of ME. I need more of my own sane thinking. I need LESS money.
Let’s look at these turnarounds: I need more of myself, of my own sane thinking.
Yes, right in any given moment I’m thinking I need more money, I can remember it is not required for happiness, safety, enlightenment or love. “Skip the middleman” says Katie. I can almost feel giddy by looking at whatever this thing is called “me”. This attention to “I”. The inner, mysterious feeling of being alive, being only this. Of giving attention to the thing that will last forever, beyond this body.
I need more of my own thinking. Sure….especially the depths of inquiry which appears to require a type of wonderful open-minded thinking.
Rather than needing more money, I might need more kindness, trust, acceptance, sharing and joy in this moment. I can relax. I can be. I am being, already. How astonishing to notice I do not need anything more right here and now. Love, kindness, acceptance, sharing and joy appear, if I look at how the carpet warms the room, the bookshelf shines joyfully, the empty water glass waits in service.
How exquisite to not even feel interested in more money, now that I’m in deeper contact with this moment.
How incredible to wonder, if the universe is friendly, could it be supporting me to feel truth and love in this moment here, now….without needing any more money than I actually have?
Just….wow.
I need this amount of money. This is just right, for me. To learn to feel joy, outside of the story of “More Money”….what a powerful gift.
What an incredible, different, new, wonderful story….and maybe not so new. Maybe inspired in me by others who also questioned this story of money before me, and found a new exciting path of letting go.
Letting go into a infinite source of support.
What if what you truly want more of is already here in infinite supply? Not wishful thinking, not hopeful thinking, not religious thinking, not “right” thinking, not positive thinking.
Only infinite mysterious wild brightness.
Strange, I know. I notice this mind seems to *think* it loves answers and simple ideas, like “I need more money” to be true, so it knows what to do next and what to avoid and what might happen.
But it really has no idea.
(It’s OK that it has no idea, everything’s gonna be fine, don’t worry).
“If you look to others for fulfillment, you will never truly be fulfilled. If your happiness depends on money, you will never be happy with yourself. Be content with what you have; rejoice in the way things are. When you realize there is nothing lacking, the whole world belongs to you.” ~ Tao Te Ching #44
The annual money class will begin again in early 2017. Stay tuned for the announcement of when it will run. If you’ve been waiting excitedly for this like me (it will be an 8 week class I teach annually, by donation) then hit reply and give me your favorite time of day and I’ll consider it, if it works with my schedule.
I would also love it if you shared Grace Notes with others and let them know they can sign up for free at www.workwithgrace.com.
Much love,
Grace