To celebrate leap year, I’m offering an early-bird special fee for the upcoming Spring Retreat in The Work in Seattle on May 13-15 (including all day Friday starting at 9:30 am). If you register by next Monday Leap Day February 29th, it’s $325 (you save $70). Click HERE to register.
Write me separately to reserve a room in the lodge (two left) for only $50 per night.
And, if you’d like to get a sense of this work of self-inquiry and un-raveling stressful thinking in your life, especially the way stress leads to compulsive behavior like eating, then onight I’m opening up my home for a new meetup called Eating Peace (which is a drop-in group for only $10 donation).
We’ll take a look at beliefs that drive compulsive reaching for food (or anything, really) and use self-inquiry to explore what’s going on in that stressful moment.
I had the thought….how can this topic be covered in two hours?
With people who have a full range of experiences, all of which may be completely different?
It’s difficult to hold still, and see what’s happening, when you’re used to popping something in your mouth when you feel bored, confused, angry, nervous, you’re around other people, or you feel uncomfortable in some way and the call of eating (or other behavior) is so strong.
But we’ll dive in, identify some of what we’re thinking, and investigate.
Often the very first place we start, when we’re looking at behavior we don’t like….
….is pretty vicious:
- there is something wrong with me
- I should be completely different (thin, calm, peaceful, sober)
- I can’t stop (compulsively eating sugar, drinking caffeine, spending, watching videos, drinking alcohol)
- the thing I repeatedly want will make me feel better
How do you react when you believe any of these thoughts?
Ugh.
Drowning in the movement of compulsion. Trying hard to fix myself. Making plans to change, and this might even include “get enlightened”.
Anything but be here now, in all my imperfections and troubles.
So here’s the profound question that can sometimes be pondered for days:
Who would you be without your story?
Who would you be if there was nothing wrong with you, you shouldn’t be any different than you are? Without thinking you can’t stop doing what you’re doing, or that the thing you reach for makes you feel better?
Wow.
It seems like reading books and spiritual teachings makes me feel better. It seems like drinking coffee makes me feel better. It seems like doing “x” makes me feel better.
But what if you didn’t have that thought?
I notice, anything I’ve ever thought that’s outside of myself that makes me feel better….only does for a temporary amount of time.
It never really supplies a wonderful, fabulous feeling, or a peaceful feeling. Not completely, not permanently, not with full satisfaction.
So what to do?
Notice what you don’t like, right now, that’s happening. Notice what you don’t like feeling. Notice what frightens you, makes you sad.
Take these thoughts (and feelings) as a practice, through self-inquiry.
It’s not easy.
I myself would sometimes like a temporary, short, easy activity to end my boredom, or anxiety, or sadness.
It never does in the long run.
If you’re not sure where to begin, start to write in your journal what you’re upset about in your current condition, situation, life circumstance. Write about what you find disturbing.
Then….you can do The Work!
Join me if you’d like support at a retreat or meetup. There’s nothing like gathering together with others to give you the freedom to inquire, notice, slow down, feel the help available to you, personally.
I couldn’t have started out all alone….and being with others never stopped!
When I can’t seem to do it myself, the presence of others brings it all home, once again.
One week of special early bird sign-up for spring retreat in northeast Seattle. We’ll have an awesome time.
Much love, Grace