They have more than me

I’m doing lots of questioning about money again.

I guess this comes up at least once a year when the Year of Inquiry group starts inquiring for a month on money AND the eight week teleclass is running, too.

Yesterday, in Year of Inquiry we looked at such a simple and powerful thought:

They have more money than me.

You know those people?

The ones who have more?

I remember vividly a moment.

I am standing in the foyer of a huge home, some would call it a mansion. My daughter is playing here on an after-school play date with a new friend. This foyer is marble, imported from Italy (I am told, when I exclaim at the beauty of the house). I look up to see a wide, expansive view of the lake. With a dock. And two boats.

Suddenly…..I am somehow less than these people who live in this house. Like, not as good. Not as successful.

They have more money than me, certainly. They have done something right, I have done something wrong.

Sick stomach.

That’s my situation. I stare at it while I inquire. I don’t let my mind move from that moment, the way it likes to shift to something else, like another memory.

I don’t let myself move into trying to make myself feel better, now.

I stay right there in the situation.

Can you see them in your mind, wearing jewels, living in gigantic houses, frolicking about the world on jets, owning islands, going to every kind of retreat or workshop or spa they want?

What we’re questioning in this is the stress. The pain of comparison.

We’re just sooooo sure they have more.

More opportunity, more freedom, more fun, more power, more security, more creativity, more independence, more health, more support.

There’s moral value placed on what Those People are doing (or not doing).

They should….they shouldn’t….I need…..other people need…..it shouldn’t be like this.

Wow, it’s a gigantic system of Right and Wrong. Have and Not Have.

Let’s investigate.

Who would you be right now, without the belief that those people have more? More than you, more than others, more than they deserve, more than they can use?

Who would you be without the belief in judging YOU in the middle of this (which is also critical-mind, the vicious attacking mind that makes you wrong)?

Even if the ones you look at with all the money are very lovely people doing wonderful things in their communities…..

…..who are you without the belief they have MORE of anything?

I notice how I’ve had this thought about more than just money.

I’ve had this thought about other things I value deeply….like enlightenment, peace, joy.

Those gurus have more of it than me.

Those authors and actors have more influence than me.

Who would I be without this belief, if I couldn’t even have this thought run through my mind as I look at them, as I hang out with them?

What if I had no awareness of More or Less?

It’s almost so weird and counter to the way the mind normally works, it’s strange to even contemplate.

“Ego mind is so upsetting. You think you have choice, but you don’t. You’re submerged in the waters of active thinking. Only when you become aware of your attention is there choice, is there an option. ‘Oh. I can put my attention on my ego/reactive mind, or I can put my attention on silence!’ Now that I’m aware of my attention, I can choose where it goes….And you don’t need a self to do the choosing. You don’t need a self to breath, you don’t need a self to walk down the street. You don’t need a self to choose either. Consciousness itself is highly intelligent.” ~ Adyashanti

Who would I be without the belief that someone has more than me?

Feeling the peace of this moment, here now. Trusting.

Dropping down into silence, watching, feeling.

In harmony in the presence of money and whatever money is doing.

Turning the thought around…..and this is so fun and mind-boggling:

They do not have more money (or anything) than me. I have more money than them. I have more of myself, here now, than anyone else has.

I notice money is flowing around in constant motion, like air and energy. In any given moment, I can freeze it like a picture and maybe say “more is here!” or “less is here!” but then…..

…..there is another in-breath, and out-breath, another purchase of a bag of groceries, another gift coming to me, another opportunity to enjoy, another day of sun rising and setting, another paycheck received, another withdrawal from savings, another kind word, another conversation, another beautiful Ah-Ha inquiry, another person registering for something.

There’s hunger, then fullness.

Everything moving and changing and flowing.

I am not in charge.

What I have is actually…..nothing I can hold on to with my two fists.

What I have is an attitude willing to question my own thinking. What I have is awareness. What I have is silence in this moment.

I have curiosity, I have wondering.

I have the ability to expand my conditioned stories. I have the capacity to step out of this stressful story line, with money.

In my situation standing in the front entrance of the magnificent house, without the belief that these people have more money than me….

….I marvel at the gorgeousness of what is walking distance from where I sleep. I feel so lucky to be seeing it, and how amazing that humans build and invent such incredible stuff.

Without the beliefs (after doing The Work)…..a few weeks later, picking up my daughter again, I ask the owner all about what it was like to plan, build and move into this place, and where the money came from.

I learn a ton. It’s super fun.

I feel very connected. He tells me about how bored he is and that he’d prefer to be working again, rather than retired.

Ha ha!

You can stop blaming money for how you feel.

You can stop insisting, judging, condemning.

Yes, you have sooooo much more than “you” in this moment.

You have the mystery of the universe available.

You have peace, quiet, life…..right here now.

Wow. It’s priceless.

And free.

Much love, Grace