Almost nine years ago, I signed up for the School for The Work of Byron Katie.
Little did I know what a crazy, joyful, astonishing adventure it would be to begin to question what I was thinking.
You mean, I don’t have to believe that everything that runs through my head is true?
All the scary stuff about other people, having big emotions like terror or rage, living successfully, failing, being safe, telling the truth, getting sick or hurt, engaging in addictive behavior, pursuing the meaning of life, or contemplating death itself?
That’s a lot of thinking, over a lot of years. Always in the background.
What’s All This about? What’s going on around Here on planet Earth?
After I left the School which lasted nine days, I knew what to do when I had a feeling of anxiety, worry, sadness, irritation or emotional reaction that didn’t feel good.
Or even curiosity, resistance, confusion.
I knew I could identify what it was I thought in that moment, and spend some time with it to see if it was really true.
I thought “why would I need a facilitator? It’s four simple questions and then finding turnarounds. I can do this with one hand tied behind my back!”
My life continued along, and the thing is….it got a little fast-paced.
Movement was happening. I was faced with divorce, moments of unrest with my kids, money worries, cancer.
It’s not always natural or easy (so it seems) to stop, do a little writing, and take a moment to understand what it is that’s going on in your mind like its your best friend and you have all the time in the world for examining your thoughts.
Your mind does not always feel exactly like a Best Friend, if you know what I mean.
Plus, the mind is faster than a speeding bullet, more powerful than a locomotive, and definitely able to leap tall buildings or even whole countries in a single bound.
(If you’re not so sure about that, quick right now, think about France…now think about Africa….see what I mean?)
As the weeks went by following my 9 day immersion in The Work with Byron Katie herself, I noticed every so often that I hadn’t actually sat down and done The Work for a few days.
Then a few more days.
Then a couple of weeks.
I’m doing The Work in my head in the car! Isn’t that good enough?
But I’d get interrupted. I’d forget where I was. I’d get lost.
Then…I decided I needed a companion. I needed a friend, a co-facilitator, I needed to anchor this practice into time so that it actually happened.
Because every single time I did it from start to finish, with someone else, or with a small group, there was always a magnificent discovery.
Like I was able to have a genuine, honest conversation with my own mind, after enlisting support.
Gosh. With other people facilitating me, and time set on the calendar…shared investigation, depth, authentic connection.
Up to me on my own with Me, Myself and I running the show, the short-cut version, kind of like fake sugar. Not quite right.
The way things were going all on my own wasn’t exactly reliable.
I knew I didn’t want to mess around. This was my life. My world was changing.
In some ways, it was falling apart completely.
Everything I had previously thought of as true was up for grabs.
I got a facilitator. Best move I could have made. Because when I felt just a wee bit better emotionally, in control, relaxed, like “OK, I got it! I’m good!” I would have the urge to take that idea seriously.
But I didn’t.
Thank you for sharing, oh mind that thinks it can do everything by itself thank you very much. I love that you’re so independent and brilliant (which it is, actually).
However, the results are that on my own it kind of looked like the tasmanian devil approach, with slight moments of exhaustion and re-grouping in between.
I wanted peace.
Of course, the great paradox is that everyone must find their own answers….they are actually already there, in the silence within all of us, ready to blossom.
But if like me you find that you just don’t find the time, commitment, clarity or depth on your own at first…you may love signing up for a class with others, or putting yourself in a retreat or structured program, or scheduling time with a facilitator.
It doesn’t have to be anything that costs money, you can call the Help Line on thework.com or you can get a partner to trade sessions with.
I continue to value the peeps I gather with as my stepping stones to true peace.
Just like when I first went to 12 Step Meetings so long ago at age 19. On my own, things weren’t going so well.
In a group….better.
It doesn’t matter if the people you encounter are your new best friends. The group is for you to show up into. It brings a stable structure that you don’t have to question.
You’re just there, scheduling it is handled.
“Mind’s job is to be right, and it can justify itself faster than the speed of light. Stop the portion of your thinking that is the source of your fear, anger, sadness, or resentment by transferring it to paper. Once the mind is stopped on paper, it’s much easier to investigate. Eventually The Work begins to undo you automatically without writing.” ~ Byron Katie
If you notice that like me, you kinda want the speed-dating, speed-skating, speed-racer path to enlightenment…. ….then you may enjoy entering the Year of Inquiry (YOI) for the Addictive Mind program.
A WHOLE YEAR?!?!
Yes.
Invented for the more brilliant, quick, distracted minds that may find great serenity in having a set time 3 times per month for 90 minutes with others to investigate your deepest judgments, your stressful thinking, your assumptions, your troubling ideas.
We do it on the phone, so you can be anywhere.
Even your car.
And of course, no one needs to do YOI. You can do a shorter class (the one on Parenting starts soon!) or set up a trade with someone in your life.
If I could do it, you can too!
If this was your last year in this lifetime…would you want to be with others in this deeply intimate way?
Would you want to rest in knowing you had the time and space to dial-in, literally, to inquiry?
I would.
Heaven in YOI“I love that I have to EXPERIENCE the Work, have to DO it, to be IN it. And when I do The Work – surprise! – I am letting go into the moment. I’ve been at it for a few years now, here and there, sometimes frequently/intensely, sometimes not for weeks or even months. And here we are in this terrific group. Heaven.” ~ YOI participant
Come join us in un-believing and un-doing your painful thoughts. Losing your world could be a good thing….and you can get support while doing it.
It’s why meditation retreats, groups, classes, communities exist.
Because other people ARE you, of course. “
Everyone is a mirror image of yourself-your own thinking coming back to you.” ~ Byron Katie
Reply to this email if you’re ready to sign up for YOI or another class. Let me know how I can be of service to you. My sincere commitment is joining with others in our true freedom.
Love, Grace