I now know when my surgery will be: December 10th. A surgeon will be pinning my right torn hamstring back onto the pelvic bone.
When the date was set recently, guess what was one of the thoughts that ran through my mind?
How much will this cost?
I know that medical procedures usually generate all kinds of bills. Something arrives in the mail from a lab, the doctor, the facility, the radiologist, another lab, the surgeon.
Bills!
What a great item for The Work.
A piece of paper comes in an envelope, addressed to you, and there is a number, and you owe that amount to the company, the organization, the service provider.
I love noticing the feeling inside when opening a bill and seeing “I owe” and watching if there is worry, frustration, nervousness, disappointment.
Any feeling at all of not liking the out-flow of money, of not liking that bill.
I don’t like it! I wish I didn’t have to pay this!
Is it true?
Yes!
Although…almost as I’m saying “yes” I think “not really”.
I love the flow in and out of money. I love paying for wonderful service, for learning, for education, for healing help, for shelter, food, clothing.
But that little worry about not having enough….the amounts draining the bank account. The analysis of whether something is “worth” it or not.
How do I react when I believe the thought that this better be worth it?
The mind kicks in to the analysis zone, weighing and measuring something that often can’t quite be measured clearly. It gets all busy trying to see what things are worth….using a lot of energy.
What’s the value of my hamstring being sewn back to where it is supposed to go? Priceless. It’s worth it.
And if I didn’t have any health insurance? Still true.
“My job is to be happy and wait. Decisions are easy. It’s the story you tell about them that isn’t easy. When you jump out of a plane and you pull the parachute cord and it doesn’t open, you feel fear, because you have the next cord to pull. So you pull that one, and it doesn’t open. And that’s the last cord. Now there’s no decision to make. When there’s no decision, there’s no fear, so just enjoy the trip! And that’s my position—I’m a lover of what is. What is: no cord to pull. It’s already happening. Free fall. I have nothing to do with it.” ~ Byron Katie
This amount comes in, that amount goes out, in and out, up and down, I just know what to do next, what’s possible, what’s available, what is not available.
Without the thought that I don’t like this or I don’t want to pay this bill?
I see how I am absolutely and completely fine right now in this moment, no matter what number is appearing on a paper.
I turn the thought around: I like this! I want to pay this bill!
What a completely fun, relaxed, exciting, playful alternative!
I can be happy, no matter how much I pay, owe, give, deliver, offer. In fact, it’s VERY exciting.
“There’s no suffering in eating spaghetti with a thin tomato sauce (this is just one little example here, that stands for many things) rather than a nice, specially prepared sauce for pasta. But if suddenly, thought arises, and you think “this is what it has come to”, or “I have to eat this watery sauce, the cheapest food there is”, or “I’ve failed” or “I probably won’t find another job, because billions of people are now looking for jobs and it’s pointless” or “I’ll have to eat the same thing tomorrow” – [these thoughts] are where the suffering comes from. The suffering also comes from the diminished sense of self-worth, now where is that? Of course that’s in your head.” ~ Eckhart Tolle
Right in the moment I am opening a bill, looking at the number, writing a check or making a bank transfer online….
….I can feel the thank-you, the joy of living this turnaround “I like paying this!”
If you find the idea tough…join us for the Money Teleclass that starts on December 5th in 2 weeks at 8 am Pacific Time. Register or find out more by clicking HERE.
Love, Grace