There is nothing like a small gathering of thoughtful, kind, dynamic people meeting to explore Whatever This Is.
I am on retreat with fellow journeyers in Tucson, Arizona right now. The sky is wide open, cloudless, with a half moon hanging brightly in it.
We’ve all just eaten dinner together creating a big delicious meal in the house kitchen I’m renting with another participant in this sangha, which means, loosely, spiritual support group.
The word sangha comes from the Buddhist term for monks and nuns and the community they created together.
Following dinner, several of us sat around the table, talking for hours.
For me, a very introverted person (yes it’s true despite the rumors)….hanging out with fellow humans communicating in a meaningful, happy, simple way where we’re together allowing the conversation to flow is something I don’t often do with more than one person.
If you start getting into over two people, I get a little giddy, or nervous, or over-stimulated.
This is where I used to expect wine or beer to be involved, like it was an automatic part of connecting with bigger groups for meals.
But our kitchen was filled with eight people, just being together to eat, and I watched myself stir fry vegetables and help create a feast.
All my companions probably don’t realize how rare it was for me to cook and serve.
My thoughts about cooking and preparing food have been pretty rebellious, or pretty filled with aversion.
I have been known to say I don’t cook, won’t cook, don’t like it, don’t want to do it, and will never.
I’ve always brought loaves of bread or salad to potlucks.
If someone starts talking about a recipe, I’m yawning in one minute.
And yet, here it was my turn, it turned out, to create with food for others, and there was no Should, Have To, Won’t. The mind amazingly did not have much to say about it.
An ordinary gathering, and yet not so ordinary.
Because I am different than I once was.
Through self-inquiry, investigation of thoughts, using the incredible tool called The Work, the way I interact with the world is completely changed.
What is deeply on the inside, that I perhaps kept buried or didn’t think was safe to share, is now out in the open or close to the surface.
I find myself curious and interested in what I do….I’m looking at this person called me and saying “oh look, what will she do now?” like it’s fun and entertaining.
And there are no stories that are set in stone, ever, anymore. Like “I hate to cook” or “I’m very shy” or “I need to sleep longer” or “life is hard” or “I don’t get what’s going on here, on planet earth”.
During our group time earlier in the day, with our teacher Stephen Bodian, something he said sparked me to think about dropping my stories of even awakening, enlightenment, awareness, what it takes to discover peace.
It can happen now. Or today. Or during a dinner party. Or cleaning your house. Or sitting quietly in the morning.
In an instant. Not in a lifetime of struggle and work.
It an happen the minute you ask yourself “is it true?”
I love The Work as it has given my mind steps to walk through, one by one, in order. Simple, simple, simple. Following the very simple directions.
And here I am, in pure easy gratitude, for this quiet moment, the smell of desert air, for the voices and people and eating dinner together before, feeling absolute joy.
“And when all the struggle ceases, we realize that the prison of our mind cannot hold us in anymore, because the prison was all along something we imagined into existence. And imagined things aren’t real, they don’t exist. But we could never really see this as long as we were fighting the phantoms of our minds. We needed the one thing that our imaginary minds could not bring about, could not fake or create: the genuine surrender of all struggle.” ~ Adyashanti
No need to control, plan, organize, push against, resist, be bolder than I am, less shy, different. No need to hope, grab, give up in a despairing way. No need to make sure other people are OK, or safe, or comfortable.
No need to have a huge epiphany, or change.
Over time, doing The Work and questioning thoughts of struggle, relaxation happens.
Surrender can show up at a dinner party.
Much love, Grace
P.S. If you find you’re struggling with fear of death and physical pain, those can be biggies. I’d love for you to join me in the 6 week class Pain, Sickness and Death exploring our beliefs about these, about physical threats, starting in a couple of weeks on Tuesdays 5:15-6:45 pm.