Money.
What a lot of beliefs about one single topic! Where do we even begin?
This morning I was sitting on my pretty cream-colored leather sofa with my laptop, the little cottage quiet and cool in the dawn summer morning.
For many years, I sat on an ugly, torn, tan, ragged sofa in the very same spot.
It would hurt my left hip, because my butt sank so low into the crevas between the back and the seat, I practically sank through to the floor.
I grew up with that old couch. I believe my parents purchased it in the late 60s. It used to have a matching couch, but that one broke during a potluck gathering dinner about 15 years ago.
One of my friends, a guest, sat down and the couch caved in to the ground.
But I didn’t get rid of the second one! I couldn’t afford a new couch!
The gorgeous cream-colored couch I sit on now I bought six months ago.
I have carried many very painful beliefs about money, about buying things, selling things, selling services, trading money for fun, storing money, saving money, accessing money.
And over time (it’s taken a few years, ahem) I have felt myself getting lighter and lighter and freer and more thrilled and more excited about money…whether its in my hand (or my bank account) or not.
The reason it took me so very long to buy a new couch to sit on related to a huge pile of unpleasant and unquestioned and opposing beliefs.
If you had asked me, I might not have been able to even tell you these beliefs were present.
I had to undo them like peeling an onion. And yes, it made me cry. I have spent a lot of time worried, unhappy, and depressed about money.
I created for myself a lot of sadness and anxiety.
Here were many of my beliefs:
- its very hard to get, earn, find, acquire money
- I don’t have anything worth trading for money
- I can do without….its almost easier, then no terror of losing money
- when people (maybe me) get loads of money, they become selfish, greedy, sick, unspiritual, ruthless, anxious, and bossy
- men like women who don’t want money or things that cost money….and since I like men, its dangerous to want money
- when I have no money, I have no power
- when I have no power, I don’t get to choose, decide, live, or be how I really want to be
- I must work and not be picky about it
- everything that is wonderful costs money
- I can’t live an opulent, luxurious, rich, interesting life without lots of money
- my life with money is a huge disappointment
It is very painful to believe these thoughts…it meant for me that life couldn’t be fun without money, and since money was too hard to acquire, that life couldn’t be fun.
My attitude was to make do, survive, and ignore money.
Like it was the crazy uncle who might be dangerous, so better stay away. Don’t ask too many questions.
Danger!
One of the first times I really sat with money and what it truly meant to me, I had so many images in my head I was confused.
It was like I had a huge committee screaming totally opposing ideas, solutions to this Great Problem of Money.
I began, however, with the first thought that I wrote down.
“I am upset about Money because I need more of it.”
I then asked myself the four questions, doing The Work.
Is it true that I need more money?
Are you kidding me? Have you seen my bank statement? I only have ten dollars left to my name!
But in that exact moment, sitting quietly, did I need more money?
Did I have enough food to eat? Yes. Did I have air to breathe? Yes.
I even had an old used car, a cute cottage, clothes, a whole kitchen with silverware and pots and pans and an oven.
But I need more money in order to have fun, to feel secure and safe, to feel at home, to feel comfortable, abundant, stable, peaceful, confident, powerful!
Was that actually true?
Was having more money the way to get these things?
Wow. No. I could experience any of these emotional states by questioning my thinking, by simply noticing that they were present.
All these elements were alive and breathing all around me, in most creative and interesting and mysterious ways: safety was here, security, stability, comfort, abundance, confidence, power, peace.
I could find examples of every single thing, how all of this was here, now, in this amazing moment called Now.
I began to look at the opposites of all that I believed, and try them on, just to investigate. I found concrete, genuine examples for every turnaround here, that I knew to be true already:
- its very easy to get, earn, find, acquire money. Gosh, come to think of it, I’ve had about 50 jobs in my lifetime.
- I have an infinite amount of ideas, service, creativity, skill, experience worth trading for money
- I can do with or without, there is no fear necessary either way, I need not be concerned with any future
- when people (maybe me) get loads of money, they become generous, giving, healthy, spiritual, discerning, calm, and easy-going
- money has nothing to do with relationship unless you believe ancient thoughts that have been passed along for generations
- when I have no money, I have lots of power: I am focused, clear, I know what my priority is, I feel determined!
- when I have no power, I get set free to surrender into being how I really want to be
- I do not ever have to work, and I can be picky about it in an exciting way and adjust, ask for, and explore what I like
- everything that is wonderful does not have anything to do with money
- I can live an opulent, luxurious, rich, interesting life without lots of money
- my life with money is a huge teacher and success
Finally, I realized that I could go to a luxurious furniture store, with a lovely salesman, and smell the beautiful leather, and notice the colors, the styles, the artistic design, the beauty of all the play and energy that went into making every piece of furniture there.
I could find out how much my favorite sofa cost, and realize that I could come up with that much money because of all my ease, relaxation, inquiry and peace around every dollar that came and went through my life.
I said yes to questioning my troubling beliefs about money, and when I said yes to listening to these thoughts, and spent time with them….money started showing up much more often.
“Authentic inquiry is allowing yourself to care, to take on the weightless burden of caring. Everyone knows what it’s like to inquire out of intellectual interest–asking for the sake of asking or because you think you should. This is not caring. When you care about something, it gets inside of you. It gets inside the shell that keeps you from being affected or bothered, the shell that keeps anything really new from happening.” ~ Adyashanti
If you’re wanting support to question your beliefs about work, money, business and earning….if you want something new to happen….then come join our group next Thursday, July 11th, 5:15-6:45 pm Pacific time for 8 weeks. Click HERE to register.
If you need some scholarship help, write and ask me: grace@workwithgrace.com
Love, Grace
Dear Grace,
Thank you. A year ago you gave me a discounted place on one of your business courses. I went into it open minded but not exactly sure what (if any) impact it would have.
At the very outset of the course I remember you saying that we should deal with whatever will stop us from fully participating in the course.
That simple challenge meant it was the first course that I have taken that I completely participated in (and I have taken a lot of courses).
I am still working with my issues around money, however in terms of my business…
… it doubled within a year of taking the course.
Working with you was a major consciousness shift.
It was a brilliant and worthwhile investment on many levels.
Thank you for your valuable work – and very welcome grace notes.
~ JC, Kenya