When people come to question their beliefs about Money, they usually fall into one of two categories:
- no money, limited income, barely enough to buy food, utilities, rent, struggling to keep surviving, difficulty with work, trouble with earning and receiving money
- huge desire to do something powerful with money, be free of the worry of it, wanting to make a difference, wanting the money flow to be meaningful
Not long ago I was working with someone who has plenty of money in her bank account.
But something bothered her deeply about her free time, the way she spent her money, her semi-retirement status.
She felt guilty, disconnected from the feeling of “drive”, lazy, pointless…maybe even slightly depressed.
She had grown children, a husband who was a super successful lawyer, and she did not want anything….
….except more meaning in her life.
She was sometimes bored.
She attended lots of spiritual conferences and retreats, meditated, did yoga, traveled extensively. But if she thought about REALLY going for it and following her interests, she pulled back, afraid that she might lose a good thing, lose the support (in the form of money) that she had.
Clearly her problem wasn’t lack of money, but, there was something about this having of it that felt out of sorts.
I actually had the thought “gosh, I’d love to have that problem….”
And then she told me about how she couldn’t talk about this “problem” with anyone in her life because they all got jealous, thought she should be appreciative of her incredibly abundant situation financially, and stop complaining.
I snapped out of it, and looked at this set of beliefs she was bringing for inquiry…a deep feeling of lack of importance, that she “should” be grateful, and worry about other peoples’ criticisms.
I loved that I got this chance to be there and inquire myself, through her honesty and intention, and find out more about money.
It’s a very painful thought to think “I’ll just keep being bored or listless, or not feel much purpose….I should be doing more, but I don’t want to risk the good amount of money that I do have.”
It adds to the pain to believe you shouldn’t be feeling the way you actually feel.
Believing we should be doing MORE than we are doing is rough, or that if we step out into doing something new and unusual, that we could lose our financial stability.
“I should be doing something more….meaningful, important, fun, supportive, interesting, passionate, eye-catching, exciting, charitable, helpful….but that would be risky.”
Is that true?
Seems true. Seems like a lot of my time is spent taking care of myself and my family, gathering my nuts and storing them, and trying not to lose any of my money.
When I have this thought….even if quite low in stress level, I have a heavy feeling in the body. I think I’m not good enough. I feel guilty. Disappointed.
I get fearful thoughts about not having money, I feel anxious when I spend money. But I still buy stuff, since I have it.
Who would you be without the thought that you should be doing MORE with your life and that it’s scary to do something unusual, out of the status-quo, radical, or that you don’t need to worry about a future?
I wouldn’t have a feeling of hurry-hurry-hurry. I wouldn’t feel lethargic or self-condemning. I’d gently take care of myself. I wouldn’t compare myself to other people and THEIR success.
I’d give more, without nervousness.
The woman I facilitated answered that without her thought that she should be doing more, she could relax.
She found that without the thought that she should do more with all her abundance and time….she was enormously relieved.
Without the thought, she noticed that there were some ideas that excited her, a creative spark that lit. She might not WANT to travel all the time, she might not WANT to host parties, there may be some very thrilling things she could become involved in.
The turnaround: I do not need to do more with my life or worry about losing my money.
What if that was as true or truer than the original thought? What if whatever was being done was just right?
What if I need to DO less with my life? No need to orchestrate, push, control, plan, invest well, keep, hold on?
What if I stopped “trying” so hard to achieve, make a difference, accomplish, protect?
I might become fearless about money coming, and money going. Respectful, moving from my hand to that other place, and other money moving into my hand again (or not).
“I’ve never seen a work or money problem that didn’t turn out to be a thinking problem. I used to believe that I needed money to be happy. Even when I had a lot, I was often sick with the fear that something terrible would happen and I would lose it. I realize now that no amount of money is worth that kind of stress.” ~ Byron Katie
Who would I be without my money story?
I keep learning about it, every day, unraveling my beliefs….so very exciting. Such freedom.
“The Master observes the world but trust his inner vision. He allows things to come and go. His heart is open as the sky”. ~Tao Te Ching #12
Love, Grace
P.S. Click right below to read all about the upcoming 8 week Money teleclass. It’s such an adventure to question all the thinking about money, service, rejection, selling, employment. Join us!