When a community of spirits comes together, a gathering of sincere individuals, it is one of the most beautiful experiences I have ever known, and most life-changing and revolutionary.
Revolutionary? That’s a pretty strong word!
What’s a revolution?
In the dictionary, it means a sudden, complete or marked change in something.
That’s what a gathering of people has sometimes created for me and for many of the members….quietly, with absolutely no violence whatsoever, no “should” or “have to”.
A revolt of the way I see things, and perhaps the way we all see things together.
My first genuine group experience, besides seminar discussions in college or meetings to accomplish a task, was long ago when I was in my twenties.
I had been to regular sessions with several different therapists over a few years, some longer than others, and learned something from every single one.
I still had a lot of self-loathing and twisted thinking.
Then, a good friend recommended a therapist. Innocently, although with some of the usual adrenaline running through my nerves, I called her to make an appointment, after thinking about it for about six months.
After meeting for only about five months every week, the therapist suggested it was time for me to enter Group.
Group? What’s that? What was she talking about?
Turned out she ran therapy groups. Oh.
This is where other people, with their own concerns and troubles, gather at the same time each week for almost 3 hours to process, connect, think creatively, support each other, look at “change” and what it means.
But wait! I have a special weird thing happening called “disordered eating” and that’s gross. I don’t want to share that with other people!
Can’t we just keep meeting one-on-one?
I was pressed for another month to join Group.
Fast forward to a moment six months down the road, when I had been showing up every week and paying money to attend this collection of individuals gathered to find freedom, to inquire into their understanding of life, to feel peace.
I had not said more than about three sentences.
The therapist, MY therapist, said at the beginning of the group circle “I have something I want to address with Grace today“.
Gulp! Me? But I’m thinking of escaping as soon as possible! I’m trying to make myself invisible. I’m not sure I even like all these people. You mean, you’ve noticed that I’m still here? YIKES!
This wise woman therapist looked me in the eyes, while everyone watched and listened.
“Are you aware of how much control and power you contain and keep for yourself when you remain silent? When you don’t share what’s in your heart, you don’t speak up, you don’t connect with all of us honestly and authentically…..you don’t tell the truth?”
My assignment was to talk. That’s it.
You would have thought I had been assigned to jump out of an airplane without a parachute.
But I started talking. I didn’t like the sound of being someone who was trying to “control” the situation. I was trying to control my life all the time, and swinging out of control with food and eating….it was clear that the way things had gone so far was not very well.
I was willing to try something different.
It was revolutionary.
My life began to change, by reflecting my thoughts and feelings, and listening to others.
And now, today, I am back from co-facilitating a powerful retreat on The Work of Byron Katie, where people gathered literally from all over the country to question their thinking.
We began with the body, identifying those thoughts we have about the body that are frustrating, sad, disappointing, vicious, critical, worrisome.
Any thought about the body.
All the ways it needs to be fixed.
We moved into connecting how this way we feel and think about the body is the same as how we feel and think about our lives, people we are close to, about our universe.
The group, through The Work, dropped into honesty, willingness, sincerity and love.
We were all learning there together, equals on the path, beginners in doing The Work and advanced practitioners of The Work…everyone having had exactly the right experiences so far in life to bring them to that moment, gathered with those exact people.
Once again we all learned that as we shared our inner worlds it melted into the outer world, loosening the boundaries between this thing I call “me” and the wide open universe.
No need to control or keep power or resist or have great fear of whatever is inside you.
“If you truly want to grow spiritually, you’ll realize that keeping your stuff is keeping you trapped. Eventually you’ll want out, at any cost. You will then realize that life is actually trying to help you. Life is surrounding you with people and situations that stimulate growth. You don’t have to decide who’s right or wrong. You don’t have to worry about other people’s issues. You only have to be willing to open your heart in the face of anything and everything, and permit the purification process to take place.” ~ Michael Singer
Tell the truth today. Gently, with kindness, with love. Even if it’s very frightening. Expose yourself.
Create a quiet revolution for your own life.
Love, Grace