I love how there are a multitude of theories about decisions and what kind of things happen when people “make” them. I’ve written about this before, but revisiting it again today.
In the western culture, it appears that being decisive is applauded, at least based on what I’ve learned. People who are wishy-washy and who change their minds are indecisive and therefore untrustworthy. People who are decisive are efficient, clear, powerful, and good leaders.
The interesting thing about MAKING DECISIONS is that there is the thought that what I decide right now will change my future. I will become successful…or I will fail.
Those tough decisions in the past….there were some that turned out great, some that turned out not-so-great. I decided something, and my life turned in a different direction and I now see the result.
Both situations, looking at the future possibilities and the past results, are based in the mind.
Both are OUTSIDE of the present moment.
When I’ve made a past decision, or am thinking about a future decision that I think I need to make, I am analyzing the outcome. Going for the “best” result. I am thinking about what will make me happiest. I am also often believing that it’s possible to make a mistake, so I need to be careful.
It’s an anxious place to live. Or downright agonizing, painful, and hand-wringing. Pure torture.
What if this whole thing is not you, alone, creating the outcome? What if it is not YOU ALONE “making” this so-called decision? What if there are all kinds of forces of the universe, of life flowing in it’s amazing way….and what if all possibilities are friendly?
“When you become a lover of what is, there are no more decisions to make. In my life, I just wait and watch. I know that the decision will be made in its own time, so I let go of when, where, and how. I like to say that I’m a woman without a future. When there are no decisions to make, there’s no planned future. All my decisions are made for me, just as they’re all made for you. When you mentally tell yourself the story that you have something to do with it, you’re attaching to an underlying belief.“~Byron Katie
Wow! Really?!
One of the most anxiety-producing beliefs is the concept “my future depends on making the right decision”. Equally painful is the belief “I made a terrible decision”.
Again, both of these thoughts are concerned with the future and the past.
I find that without believing these thoughts, I’m back in the present. I’m not concerned with worries that whatever I decide will be uncomfortable, difficult, or lead to disaster. Everything is so simple: I work with what is right here in this particular moment only, what feels loving, what feels easiest, what feels most in the flow of life.
If I un-do and question all that I’ve ever learned about decisions and people who make them, then I am at ground zero, a new innocent, fresh place. It’s like I just came from another planet and I’m not concerned with what is right or wrong.
“It takes time to get used to operating from a whole different perspective. You have a decision to make, and your mind wants to know what the right decision is. But you realize that isn’t a relevant concern anymore because your framework for decision making has been conditioned. A “right decision” according to whom? One person’s “right” is another person’s “wrong.” If you’re not going to make decisions based on right and wrong or should and shouldn’t–which only exist in thought–then how do you move?”~Adyashanti
Just do one thing at a time. And wait. Let the universe support you. You don’t have to “know” what is right or wrong…in fact it may not be possible to know.
“In the pursuit of knowledge, every day something is added. In the practice of the Tao, every day something is dropped. Less and less do you need to force things, until finally you arrive at non-action. When nothing is done, nothing is left undone. True mastery can be gained by letting things go their own way. It can’t be gained by interfering.”~Tao Te Ching #48
Love, Grace