The Work of Byron Katie with Grace
question your thinking, wake up to a kinder life
When you eat beyond fullness….you might attack yourself for doing it later.
Have you noticed yelling at yourself doesn’t really help?
Let’s study a little more closely the moments when you eat beyond fullness.
I’ve found three things could be going on…..and they are three beliefs you can question and change.
Lots of Eating Peace,
Grace
There is one really powerful, deep, intense and VERY stressful belief system that often remains hidden when it comes to food and eating….
….or any compulsive behavior.
But it’s a biggie for those who eat compulsively or secretly.
It’s called Attack of The Self.
Watch here and find out how I handle it, and work with this system of thinking the self is wrong, bad, missing something, or stupid to have this problem called overeating, or binge-eating, or compulsive self-starvation.
Much love, and lots of peace,
Grace
When I was much younger, I had the good fortune to enter a therapy group for adults with no special “problem”.
It was simply a therapeutic group for healing, understanding, and…
…well…therapy.
The group was led by two wonderful, experienced therapists (a man and a woman who were colleagues) and whose intention was to help facilitate clarity in peoples’ lives.
I felt like the weirdo with the eating issues.
Ugh.
But when I actually admitted my concerns, my behaviors and what I went through out loud to the group, I got a big surprise.
Absolute acceptance.
People could even relate–even though they didn’t have anything close to an eating disorder or eating concerns.
They related on a human level of suffering, and felt compassion and loving kindness towards me.
I couldn’t have received this without telling the truth about my situation, my experiences of fear and anxiety, and my sadness and disappointment.
My advice now? Tell the truth.
It’s the way out of your world of secrets. And its much more fun.
Although there may be many complex feelings, memories and emotions occurring in the moment you want to eat (when you aren’t hungry) or starve yourself (when you ARE hungry but you’re afraid of eating)…..
…..one area of imbalance is letting yourself know what you REALLY, REALLY want!
If it’s not food, what do you do now?
What is this life, anyway?
How are you moved to operate?
The key, I have found, is tapping into what you want….whether its love, success, connection, honesty, intimate contact with others, creativity, relaxation, rest, sleep, fun, humor, abundance, safety, satisfaction.
What do you need, really, if it isn’t food?
What if you could move towards that….wouldn’t this feel more exciting, more fun and more joyful?
You’d know you were on your way.
Watch today’s Eating Peace video and let me know what you discover:
Lots of peace,
Grace
Studying your experience when you feel compulsive, or overwhelmed with the urge to eat, or like you’re in a fist fight with craving….
….can lead to absolutely wonderful insight.
You think it can’t.
You might say “I already know what I need to do about cravings or compulsive urges to eat….I need to shut them down and control myself!”
But no.
I noticed this never, ever worked. Not in the long run.
So without fighting the moment or feeling repulsed about looking, let’s slow down and study what’s happening, in slow motion.
After you watch, let me know in the comments what you notice about your own craving moments. What else was going on, before you felt like eating? What were you feeling? What didn’t you like about your situation?
Lots of Peace, Grace
Eating Peace Online is closed for this session, no exceptions now.
I’ll have it open up again next fall.
We began the live inquiry sessions today….
….to understand what the heck is going on when it comes to eating being a problem!
Today I share how to begin to understand.
It all starts with answering a simple question: Why are you upset about your relationship with food? Why are you upset about eating?
You can write the answer in your journal.
You may even want to add to it over time.
You may notice you have a whole lot to say.
But once you have it written down, you have powerful concepts and beliefs to examine, to wonder about.
Watch here, and I’d love your comments and will answer any questions you have.
Lots of Peace,
Grace
Whenever I start a new program, even if I’ve taught it many times before, I review the whole thing and often make little changes or notes.
Yesterday I was contemplating the way the Mind works when it comes to food and eating troubles as I reviewed the Eating Peace presentations, twelve 90 minute lectures with slides.
Beliefs, thoughts and views of the world sure do affect our lives in a deep way, including the way we eat.
Some of its conscious, some not so much.
The mind is quite remarkable, so busy, full, quick, and often–mistaken!
That Mind.
It’ll get things all twisted up and mixed around so you don’t know what’s up or down anymore.
It’s called making up stories based on past imprints or situations….worrying….anticipation….regret.
In the world of psychology, one term for the way thinking gets whacky when it comes to food (and other stressful stories) is….
….distorted thinking.
I talk today in this video about some of the ways we get distorted thinking when it comes to food….
….and the REAL origin or view of distortion (its not really about food).
I love how food is a reflection of how you feel about life.
Click here to listen, and leave a comment for me on my website, or on youtube after you watch–I love reading your impressions and feedback, and answering your questions.
Lots of peace,
Grace
P.S. Click HERE to read all about Eating Peace, the upcoming Online and Live Telecourse Program from February 22-May 31, 2015. Jam-packed with information and tools for healing the relationship with food, and with life.
Sign up here if you’re ready now (limited to 16, getting full):
full one-time payment 1st payment for 3-payment plan (now, 3/22 & 4/22)In the last 3 or 4 years I’ve had a strange and completely unplanned phase of gathering all the teachings I ever received around healing eating troubles….
I did this because people asked me for help.
I wasn’t shy about saying I had healed from a raging eating disorder and whacked thinking about food.
But I also sometimes felt very reluctant to help.
It’s so intense! It took so long! All those healers, therapists, retreats, workshops, books, and degrees!
How could I ever put into words what I’ve learned about having a fabulous relationship with food?
But one day, I started.
I sat very quietly, considering what was the “answer” to this difficult problem with food, when there is too much, or not enough, and never any deep satisfaction?
I had worked with many clients over time, young women from teens to college students….and then older women all the way to age 80.
Then I had a man come for help with food and eating, and another.
I had lots of experience working with these people one-on-one, I had brought in self-inquiry especially in the form of The Work of Byron Katie to question what we thought was true in the moments we want to reach for food even though we’re not hungry.
And something started coming together to make this easier, more organized, more helpful.
The four broad areas I began to think about (and feel about) became the perfect areas for awareness of what really worked, and what didn’t.
Mind, Feelings, Body, Spirit.
It was so exciting to see what fit where along my journey, what was most important for me to learn, what really made a powerful difference.
Today in this fairly short video, I talk about this part of my freedom journey around food, eating and body….
….where I feel like after several decades of “work” on finding peace around food, I was drawn to take a look-see back over all the path I took, pick the very best of it all, the cream of the crop of teachings, and offer this to others who want to heal their relationship with food, too.
Because I know, every person who returns to joy and innocence with food has access to pleasure, joy, love and simplicity, not just around eating….
….but around everything else in their lives!
Seriously, it’s hard to believe, but the relationship with food, eating and the body really was an avenue into the deepest spirit within me.
If you change the way you experience food, you’ll change the way you experience your entire life.
Click below to watch today’s video.
Then, in a few days, I’ll send a video where I talk about the highlights I found in each area….
….Mind, Feelings, Body, and Spirit….
….that were the MOST important to learn to make peace with eating.
You can use them to help you heal the way you eat and the way you relate to food, or your size.
If I could do it, you can too.
How do some people heal from eating battles, concerns with food and weight, or thoughts and cravings for food?
What’s the difference between someone who gets over it once and for all, and someone who goes back to eating in a way that feels self-destructive, or who gains and loses weight over and over?
The most common attempt to solve the problem of compulsive behavior around food is diet and exercise.
This may help, but people often stop right there and don’t continue to explore all the elements that make the “storm” of off-balance eating.
For me, the only answer to true healing from eating troubles….
….to become someone who no longer has any need to overeat, binge, starve themselves on purpose, gain weight, or attempt to control themselves with diets….
….is a deep form of self-inquiry.
You might say “seriously?!”
Yes.
The place to begin is to see what you’re thinking, believing, and feeling about not just food, but life.
In the moments you feel worried, nervous, sad, enraged, furious or hurt….
….those are your moments for investigation.
Here’s where to begin this journey, and the great question to ask yourself when you feel like eating when you aren’t really hungry (or you’re completely stuffed).