Tag: Byron Katie

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Freedom from your ideas, nothing is impossible (stress-free Resolutions)

nothing required for the stream to be happy

A client said to me yesterday, rolling her eyes….

….”this time of year, everyone’s assessing and thinking about their goals and year-end reflections and resolutions. Ugh.”

I could tell she was irritated at some of the ideas in her mind.

Goals.

What does the word conjure in your mind?

Many of us have completely thrown away all planning, striving for goals, setting goals, dreaming of some achievement out there in the future somewhere….

….and still….

….thoughts arise with scenes of what could be, what I might walk towards (even if I’m not running anymore), what I’d prefer, a hope for that wonderful vision to become realized.

When you have a dream of where you’d like to go or what you hope to achieve, do you feel stress? Does it make you want to roll your eyes?

I remember having goals in my past.

Long ago, when I was in my later teens and throughout my twenties, if you asked me at any time, in almost any situation, any moment of day, in the company of absolutely anyone (although I might not speak it out loud)….

….what my greatest dream, hope, goal, or longing was….

….I would say “to stop being crazy with food”.

Well, OK, honestly at age 14 (when I went on my first diet) my dream was to be thin. I wanted to be skinny and svelte. THEN after several years of that, I only dreamed of stopping the war with eating.

Be thin. Never overeat. Get control of the wild appetite.

As I grew older, the vision was not so much to be skinny, but to feel relaxed with food….although I would say it always included Not Craving, not obsessing, not thinking or re-thinking what I ate or would later eat.

Then being thin and ending obsession with food faded away (with deep help from therapists, groups, and clarity with emotions and relationships and no longer trying to be skinny all the time)….

….and instead I really wanted to be happy with money.

I wanted to feel like there was enough, I was satisfied and cared for, safe and secure.

Then….I wanted a mate, a close companion, a partner in life to live with and share adventures with.

And then….yet another vision to “work” towards.

Enlightenment.

For some reason, even though it’s so human, I feel a little embarrassed to speak of these goals, visions, dreams or hopes.

They aren’t very unique.

It seems like everyone wants these things in this culture I live in.

Here is so….scary, sad, disappointing, or boring.

Over there is better. In the future.

Is that true?

Oh surely, if I had 10 million dollars I’d be excited and happy. Wealth. Perfect health. Love.

Although…can I really absolutely know I’d be happy in every way, for the rest of my life, and never worry again if I had these things?

No.

Who are you when you believe reaching that goal (you know the one) would mean you could feel happy?

Constantly pushing, reaching, grabbing, wanting, and waiting to be happy….later.

Who would I be without the belief I need to earn double my income this upcoming year? Or lose 30 pounds? Or get married? Or get divorced? Or live in a different town? Or win the Olympic Gold medal? Or resolve that relationship. Or have a mind-blowing self-realization?

Right here now, without any thought that something needs to happen later, in the future, in order for you to be happy?

I notice it doesn’t mean I don’t naturally move in the direction of a vision, or an accomplishment….

….but there’s no stress. 

It’s a weird paradoxical thing.

I don’t need anything to change right now, I don’t need this other condition this instant.

If that other state was not required for happiness (thinness, money, pain-free, health like x, partner like y, mind like z) what would THIS moment be like, right now?

Interesting. Strange. Wonderful. Amazing. Taking everything in. Noticing. Being here. No matter what the outside circumstances or condition.

How bizarre this is, to have it be OK to be the way it really is, right now.

So for example, with the endless goal I lived with for years (thinness, absence of eating battles) without the belief I needed to be thinner in order to be happy, I would have been brought to the present moment.

Sometimes the present moment required eating, sometimes it did not. Happy either way. Happy with the Way of It.

“The mark of a moderate human is freedom from his own ideas. Tolerant like the sky, all-pervading like sunlight, firm like a mountain, supple like a tree in the wind, he has no destination in view and makes use of anything life happens to bring his way. Nothing is impossible for him.” ~ Tao Te Ching #59

Ahhhhhh.

A way to be with all situations, even this thing called envisioning “goals”.

Turning it around: it is not necessary, that way of being or thing or condition I must have, in order to be happy. It is not necessary to be thin to be happy. It is not necessary to be rich to be happy. It is not necessary to have a relationship to be happy. It is not necessary to be self-realized to be happy.

Not having anything be necessary for happiness IS self-realization.

Oh!

Ha ha.

Much love,

Grace

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How to quit playing the game: Be Afraid–Pass It On

quit playing the game FEAR: PASS IT ON!

Do you remember playing telephone when you were a kid? It’s where everyone sits in a circle, and one person begins with a simple sentence, a one-liner, and whispers it in the ear of the next person.

No one gets to say “WHAT???” and have it repeated. You need to listen carefully the first time. Then you whisper the very same thing into the next person’s ear. The very last person in the circle says out loud what they heard.

Peels of laughter! Sometimes it’s total nonsense and hilariously different from the original sentence.

Well, the other day when doing The Work with someone, I thought fearful stories were like this game.

Only they’re passed along from one generation, to the next generation, to the next.

Here’s what you should fear. Be afraid of THIS (insert whispered story).

How do I know you should be afraid? My mom told me. My dad told me. My grandpa told her. They gave that look of fear. They painted a terrible picture.

A frightening thing happens….and then WARNING, WARNING.

Teach everyone how scary that is and how you need to be very, very careful from now on.

There are events and experiences that cause fear in many human beings. Abrupt behavior, loud sounds, events where things break into pieces or are physically altered, or emotionally hurt. Change. Loss. Surprise. Anger. Blow-Ups. Crashes. Wars.

But trying to stay in a holding pattern of Calm-And-Collected and BE CAREFUL has its drawbacks.

Because we also like relaxing. We LOVE relaxing. It’s a place I want to return to, a homeostatis, and maybe the reason I first ever began to want to do The Work and find out what moves me away from peace.

And what about when we get a wee bit bored and actually want some excitement, or what if we want to improve our performance or results in some area (like health, eating–my favorite–love, money, romance, support), or create something new, or grow, transform or participate in change, on purpose?

We like developing and growing, and we like remaining calm.

But these two things don’t always go together!

Sometimes it’s like we’ve got the foot on the brakes and the foot on the accelerator at the very same time.

I want something different, but I don’t want it to be….scary! And remember! We need to be careful!!

How do you react when you believe, as you’ve always heard from people around you, that bad unexpected frightening things can happen in this world?

What happens when you want to do something new?

I’m careful.

Very, very careful.

I walk on eggshells.

Eggshells are so easily broken….I barely step out, I don’t move, I don’t take the risk of being rejected, or setting the person off, or having that worrisome thing occur.

But who would you be without the story that you need to be careful? At all.

Gasp!

If I’m not a LITTLE bit careful, I’ll be a fool. Ridiculous. I’ll do something completely stupid. I’ll lose everything. I’ll make a terrible decision. I’ll go against what my parents told me. And their parents before them.

Are you sure? Do you have to be afraid, and careful, in order to make sure you don’t fail, lose, or get hurt? Are you sure you need to never get hurt, fail, or lose?

Are you sure you need to stay entirely peaceful every second of every hour?

Wow. I never thought of that before.

A year ago, I went to a lecture and read a book by an author and speaker I found super interesting. Unexpectedly. I wasn’t looking for anything new to attend, I had been attending a lot less for a few years, in fact. But when a program appeared with an Enroll Here button, I clicked it and just knew to sign up.

I was simply drawn to it (and it’s been a wonderful adventure and brilliant people). But not easy. A day of travel just to get to the location. And sometimes daunting and mind-opening in a way that’s not exactly….happy.

What if you turned your thought around, and the very thing you ought to be careful about, and worried for, and avoid, or resist, or feel nervous over….

….has some powerful medicine to teach you?

This can even be true about very dreadful things, like getting a disease.

No, this isn’t saying sickness, violence, sudden change are easy and you need to be happy they’re happening. That would be ridiculous and kind of mean to yourself.

But what if you did become willing to have it occur, if it did? What if you noticed what you were OK with about it happening, or if it had anything helpful to offer in the way of a teaching, or it helped you eliminate what wasn’t working in your life?

Anything. An example, no matter how small, of how that thing you feel so worried about happening that it causes you to be careful in your life, even when things are fine….An example of if it happened, you’d be OK with it.

Even look forward to it.

I know it’s weird.

But it’s an exciting approach to duality and the negative, dark, scary things of life’s unfolding ways.

How could this part of Reality work for me, rather than against me? Have I ever heard of anything coming out of a situation I’ve always found scary like this, where the outcome was amazing change, or some kind of transformation, or some small advantage?

Who would I be without my story of needing to be careful?

Maybe not participating in the game called “BE AFRAID: PASS IT ON!”

Instead, you might be afraid, and do it anyway, or inquire, or pause and breathe deeply and keep going.

Who knows what being you will look like, without living a life of being afraid of being afraid.

“A teacher of fear can’t bring peace on Earth. We have been trying to do it that way for thousands of years. The person who turns inner violence around, the person who finds peace inside and lives it, is the one who teaches what true peace is. We are waiting for just one teacher. You’re the one.”  ~ Byron Katie

This doesn’t mean you never, ever experience one non-peaceful or violent thought.

It means when you have a violent or less than peaceful thought, you move to look at it, you don’t automatically believe it (and pass it on), you turn it around, you’re committed to understanding it, you open your hands up with wonder.

Whatever it looks like. Pass it on.

Much love,

Grace

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I’m guilty because I’m white

fieldofnothing
Beyond the field of color coding

Not long ago, someone suggested that it was unfortunate, and kind of weird, that a program I’m participating in to explore death and dying, culture, family, place, history, tradition (and the loss of it)……has mostly white people enrolled.

It’s not the first time, or the only area in my life, where the people attending and participating appear to look a lot like me. Which is white. (And we could question this, about what color/race is, and if it’s who you actually are.)

In meditation retreats of 500 participants I’ve attended, there’s a small handful of people who are other colors than white. At the School for The Work there was 98% white people. In a career training program I was in 8 years ago, all 15 participants, and all the trainers were….white.

Now, there’s absolutely nothing “wrong” with this, of course.

Until.

Someone has a tone of voice or a statement or observation that sounds troubled, critical, worried.

Why are so many of you…..white? Aren’t you all privileged?

Ow. Yikes. Ugh.

What happens when you think you’re guilty, or you shouldn’t be complaining, or something’s wrong because….you’re white, or another race, or you’re male, or you’re from “x” country, or you do “y” job?

Oooh. I almost forgot. Shoot.

I shouldn’t complain or be disturbed. There are so many other people far worse off than me. Why am I even enrolling in meditation retreats or educational programs or doing The Work? My ancestors had all the perks. Right? I have opportunities other people don’t have.

Other people don’t have the time, or fortitude, or resources, to attend retreats or educate themselves about the mind, or study, or “relax”.

This is a very deeply stressful and dividing story.

That what you are….is based on false beliefs, ignorance, privilege….and others are worse off than you. That what you are is your appearance. You’ve got it pretty good, by comparison. You think you have it bad? Check out those Other People (and quit complaining, while you’re at it)!

They are suffering, you’re better off.

Is that true?

It hurts when your answer is “yes”.

They Are Suffering!!!!

Can you absolutely know it’s true, that your story is easier, better, more privileged than other peoples’ story? That you doing The Work is an elevated position? That your enrollment in “x” program is smoother than for others of different races or backgrounds?

That they are suffering, and you aren’t (by comparison)?

OK. It seems like, based on comparison, the answer is “yes”. It’s true I have had it easier historically compared to other stories I’ve encountered. Or my ancestors have.

But what if you had no problem with the observation that most of the people in your circles in “x” program look like you? What if you didn’t have stress about this unplanned “segregation”?

How do you react when you believe you’ve had perks?

I believe there’s something wrong. Guilty. Ashamed. Worried about complaining. Dismissive of my own suffering.

I’m suddenly taken back to elementary fifth grade, middle school, high school. Whites are the minority at school, not the majority like the city population or the immediate neighborhood I live in. I get called names sometimes, and the names include my race. I’m from the group who is doing it wrong. I’m not that cool. My boyfriend breaks up with me to go out with a girl who isn’t….white. It’s better to be Not White. Obviously.

This is an old, painful thought. What I am, “my” people, are the perpetrators. The ugly ones. The uncool.

The leader/author/teacher of the program I was participating in, where someone asked about why almost everyone was white was completely undisturbed with the question when it came up, hanging in the air in the hall where we all sat for our lectures and contemplation and note-taking.

He answered, without a blink of an eye, not very bothered.

“Because the people who are here need this program, apparently, and many others who are not white, don’t. Not right now. That’s the reality.”

Oh. duh. OK.

By comparison, I may have a privileged background. But I do not know my background shouldn’t be as it is. I don’t know that I shouldn’t be enrolled in the programs I’ve been enrolled in. I don’t know I shouldn’t be practicing meditation, The Work, or studying the way I do.

Who would I be without this story that I’m white and I should/shouldn’t….(fill in the blank)?

Without the belief that what I look like means “x” and I should feel “y” I notice….I have absolutely no idea what or who I am.

I watch my mind contort. I notice I’m interested in what’s familiar and unfamiliar. Right and wrong. Good and bad. That’s the way of the mind. Up and down. In and out.

My mental process naturally moves to find solutions, rest, safety. I have no idea what’s really true, or what’s going on.

Just like everyone else’s mind.

I turn the stories around:

a) They are not suffering, I am suffering, b) everyone and anyone can question their stories–it doesn’t matter your age, history, family, race, origin, c) there is no “genuine” suffering or “ultimate” better off….not for anyone, d) this thinking about suffering, brings suffering

Every one of these has been just as true or truer.

How could it be a good and natural thing that all these white people (again, me included) are enrolled in this program, or reading that book, or at this function or event, or doing The Work?

Well, perhaps we are all helping to address imbalance, war, fighting, separation and identity….and losing it. Maybe we’re in a training preparation for awareness, clarity, vision, and letting go of shame. We’re drawn to something truthful, and we have the means to enroll ourselves and get involved. Maybe we’re concerned, and taking action.

What if it has nothing to do with being white, and everything to do with being white?

Right on time. Perfectly on schedule.

What would you be without your story?

Can you do your work, no matter what race, or gender, or orientation or preferences you have?

I notice when I feel included, and not so afraid, and loving, and willing, and open, and when I question my stressful thoughts…..

…..I connect. I am not a color, I am not a body, I don’t have a gender, I’m not my name, I’m not an age. This thing called “I” is rather undefined and moving. Just like my life, which is very temporary and will be over at some point, perhaps not so long from now.

Without my beliefs about race, I follow what the Buddhists call Right Action.

Something’s alive and on fire and living love, and passion and care for what’s around me. Everyone’s included here. This means all the people I ever put into their own “special” category like the 1% or the 99%, or those who voted that way, or junk-food eaters or pop-drinkers or drug users or liars or patriarchs or hypocrites or men or women or bullies or fundamentalists…..and me. I am also included here, as someone I care about very much.

What would I be without my story of prejudice?

Good question.

Fearless. Kind. Connected. Radical. Gentle. Curious.

Looking forward to seeing what happens.

“There are no differences in our true nature.” ~ Byron Katie

Much love,

Grace

P.S. A beautiful example of inquiry on racism is right here. No matter what race you are, question your thoughts about it.

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Living Your Turnarounds: Simple, Fluid, Kind, Fearless….yes you can

koalagrouphug
Let’s do The Work together, and live our turnarounds: monthly LTA group

This coming weekend, a group will be gathering with a focus of Living Turnarounds.

What does this mean?

Well, since you’re aware of The Work, you’ll know that the very last step of questioning your thoughts is to turn them around.

As in….finding the very opposite, and not using it like an affirmation (unless this brings you joy) but instead sitting with each turnaround, no matter how weird it feels or sounds, and considering in this world of duality how it could be as true, or truer.

Sometimes the Turnarounds bring remarkable ah-ha’s, lightbulbs, awareness of what you DO have power to change, in a really loving and excited way.

Maybe you even discover where you need to make amends, to another person, or to yourself, so you bring the past to a close and you can stop regurgitating it, stop thinking about it constantly, stop trying to make it right….because you’ve done your best, and it’s now over.

When I was going through a separation and divorce, I did The Work fairly frequently on the thoughts I was experiencing that produced enormous fear about my life in the future.

I can’t do this alone, I’m abandoned, I’m lost, I’m a failure, I’m worthy of being left, I’m not able to earn enough money, I did it wrong, I’m lonely.

As I did The Work on this over time, day after day (I did The Work about three times a day during that period over ten years ago) I would find turnarounds that “clicked”.

Sometimes they scared me.

They looked like this: I can do this alone, I’m set free, I’m found, I’m a success, I’m worthy of being enjoyed, I’m able to earn enough money, I did it right, I’m connected.

I had to concentrate with my mind to find examples of each turnaround.

How could they be just as true, or truer, than my original stressful thought?

It might have felt shaky and not very confident, but I would get a different feeling inside my body, at a very deep level, as I found the turnarounds to be just as true. Why not?

Then I would consider, as I felt the new, alive, excited, fearless, thrilled, relaxed or more stable awareness within….

….how would I live this?

What could I do, say, be, think, feel, in order to live this turnaround?

What would it look like?

How would I go through my day, with the new awareness, the new feeling, living a turnaround that I was safe, creative, and able? That maybe this was an exciting changing time of wonder and joy? That I could earn enough to support myself on my own?

I signed up for a Qigong class. I took a women’s workshop on human sexuality. I enrolled in a program on women’s empowerment and joy. A friend told me about something called Ecstatic Dance where you could dance however you like without talking to anyone (I went).

I invited people I knew who were musicians over to sing together like I had done long ago (lots of piano and guitar playing and singing in my past, and I hadn’t done it for years) and called it Sing Thing. I began applying for jobs and figured out where I have something to offer, even though I had not been working full time for ten years.

My life began to blossom, to become more than it had ever been prior to this “terrible” thing called the process of divorce.

Who would YOU be without your story?

This is not a matter, I found, of making a list and “doing” it. Like setting goals you think you “should” achieve or do.

These new joys came to me because of inquiring into my deepest, most painful thoughts about what was happening….the worst that was happening.

And then feeling what it was actually like to live in this body without that thought.

There are some wonderful questions you can contemplate to help you find barriers to living the life you want, your immunity to change, the inner reasons you don’t “live” the way you think would bring you peace.

When I investigated….

….*Ping*….the idea would come to talk to a friend about energy and physical movement, and I’d be led down a road with tiny sweet breadcrumbs to “I know someone who teaches a class starting next week, you’d fit right in”.

“When we stop opposing reality, action becomes simple, fluid, kind, and fearless.” ~ Byron Katie

This coming Sunday is the first Living Turnarounds group October 23rd 3-6 pm northeast Seattle in Goldilocks Cottage (my house). Sign up here or hit reply to let me know you’ll be here this weekend. We’ll meet once a month through June 2017. There are some people coming from far distances, and not everyone attending this Sunday can plan on being present for every session, so that’s the way of it. If you can only come one at a time, you’re welcome. You can pay as you go.

We’ll do The Work on what stands between you and living a simple, fluid, kind and fearless life, in any area you truly desire.

Much love,

Grace

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Not Objecting to What Is with teenager, a laptop, and a queue the size of Montana

breakingfree
Life. A love story.

Ohhhh, yeah.

This is gonna be FANTASTIC, I have the BEST ideas.

I’m going to give my daughter a going-away present for college. Called my mac laptop airbook, the one I’m writing on right now.

Sure, it’s used. But it’s soooo amazing. It’s traveled with me without having one single weird or bad thing happen to it, oh trusted laptop, for 4 years. It’s got some good life left in it.

I need to upgrade so I can better support my classes and retreats. I need way more memory space on my machine. I’ve got curriculums designed, extensive feedback, photos to archive, and no one can find how to pay me on my website. Ever. Videos to make, podcasts to share. All created more easily on the new, faster-better laptop.

Win. Win.

I’m all excited. I tell her I’m going to do this, I can finally afford a device with more memory, and I’ll help her get all set up on mine.

She looks at me like….What??! Are you serious??!

“But mom, your computer will probably crash in one year. Macs are so junky, you have to upgrade them all the time. They only last five years! I don’t want that old thing, jeez!!”

Uhm. OK.

Not so Win Win as I thought.

This is not the first time, with this kid of mine, that I have it not only slightly off, but ENTIRELY WRONG.

However, I feel something inside and it’s different than the way I used to feel when she said things like this or surprised me with her reaction.

Calm.

Like, a shrug. Oh, OK. Got it.

I didn’t pursue it one more second. I’m not that surprised, I’m not hurt, I’m not having much of any reaction at all. (Every so often, wondering what she’s thinking about computers and if she needs one, then I forget about it).

A month goes by.

Daughter is leaving for college in 2 days. She approaches me as I sit on the couch writing.

“Mom….I don’t know what to do about a computer. I’m going to need one badly at college. I’m nervous.”

I look up and again, total calm–shocking. I say “remember I mentioned you could have this one?” I raise my laptop off my knees and tip my head.

“It’s all yours if you want it, I just need to get a replacement and figure out for sure if I can afford the upgrade.”

“Oh….I didn’t realize that’s what you meant before. Really??!!! That would be AWESOME.” She comes over and hugs me.

I have one day to go into the Apple Store and see what they’ve got, before she leaves for college, but I can’t tell you how different this pace and flow is from the past. The pace on the inside is total calm. The flow on the outside is just a relaxed ‘OK, we’ll see what happens’. No emergencies. No urgent wild freak-out. No saying she should have brought this up earlier, or figured it out weeks ago.

No saying “I TOLD you before and you were ungrateful, rude, and now it’s too late and rag, rag, rag….”

I just saw her cute eyes and her enthusiasm and her relief, and who knows what that was before, with the “junky macs” commentary. She didn’t even seem to remember it, and I didn’t require we go back there and review the “mistaken” communication in the past.

I’m just sayin’ here….there are results that I can find no other reason for happening than The Work.

I’ve sat with fuming feelings within around this daughter. I’ve felt hurt, and lost. I’ve felt confused, and shocked she doesn’t love exactly the same things as me. I’ve been mad she doesn’t vacuum before I have to ask. I’ve been startled at her forceful comments.

I’ve written a few worksheets.

I’ve imagined and felt what it would be like to Not Have The Belief she’s hurting me, she’s opposing me, she’s against me, she’s disrespecting me.

And now, I feel such gratitude for how much I love her and how wild and unexpected she is, like the weather, like reality….but always safe for me (I’ve never been hurt in her presence except by my own thoughts).

She’s been caring, challenging me. Like the ultimate “life” coach. She minces no words. She calls me on my B.S. especially when I expect people to like what I like.

TA: This is going just right.

I head down to the Apple store to check out the new goods, for myself, and get their help wiping my old laptop clean so my daughter can start fresh with her own stuff

Only….a small hitch.

There’s a line around the block of people waiting to get in to pick up their new Iphone 7.

For some reason….this is HILARIOUS.

I even go back 7 hours later and find….it’s even MORE crowded during early evening. They tell me no one can help me, too much hoopla over the Iphone thing. I’ll have to come check out new laptops another day.

I learn about ordering online, later, back at home.

Because I got to come back unexpectedly fast from the Apple Store, without anything new in my hands…..I got to see my former husband (father of my kids) bringing pizza over, talk to my son who stopped by for a couple of hours, help out with car-loading for the departure to college, and laugh.

Life is so funny.

This is strikingly different from what it used to be. When life was serious, irritating, gloomy and pointless.

Thank you, self-inquiry.

Thank you, “is it true?” question.

Thank you, imagination.

Keep going. Don’t stop doing The Work. This is definitely different, like a very, very, very slow dawning of the light. This is what being undisturbed is, on the inside. It’s OK if it leaves again (probably will) but oh what joy to get a taste of not objecting to what is.

Ha ha!

“Anyone in harmony with what is has no past to project as a future, so there’s nothing she expects. Whatever appears is always fresh, brilliant, surprising, obvious, and exactly what she needs. She sees that it’s a gift she has done nothing to deserve. She marvels at the way of it. She doesn’t make a distinction between sound and no sound, speaking of it or living it, seeing it or being it, touching it or feeling it touch her. She experiences it as constant lovemaking. Life is her own love story.” ~ Byron Katie in 1000 Names For Joy 55

If you feel like practicing for four whole days next month, Thursday through Sunday October 13-16, then join the small group (maximum 14) Fall Retreat. We’re half way full. Seattle. Non-residential. Awesome. Come on over to my house. It will be good. Sign up here.

Much love,

Grace

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Batten down the hatches! Suffering could happen!

stormatsea
The ultimate preparation for story weather….four questions known as The Work

As September 1st rolls into clear view this week I’m immersed in preparing an Orientation for all the new Year of Inquiry participants.

September always feels like the start of something new. End of summer, beginning of more indoor time.

I grew up going to school every single September of my whole childhood, and young adulthood.

It gets in your bones. A conditioned feeling of preparing. Movement into growing darkness. Movement into the internal life. More quiet, scholarly work. Get the harvest in, hibernation is coming.

Winter on the distant horizon.

Batten down the hatches!

People in my family said “batten down the hatches” like so many historical shipping phrases, even though no one worked at sea or was a part of sea life for generations.

The hatches are the openings to the sky. The crew covered them tightly with wooden “battens” and canvas when a storm was coming. Preparing for rough seas ahead.

Which is a bit dramatic, perhaps, about the movement into autumn, here in the northern hemisphere where I live.

And yet, I used to truly feel this way internally about silence, darkness, quiet, emptiness, space.

Going within meant remembering. It meant Alone. Lonely. Sad. Despairing. Lost. Afraid. Untethered.

I almost wasn’t aware I had this dread, either.

Until I sat down to meditate, or had too open a schedule without a to-do list.

Then, when I was alone and silent, instead of “peace and quiet” it felt like the volume went UP on anxiety, sadness, grief.

I’d want to see a movie, read a good book or “accomplish” something….or in the past: eat, drink, smoke, physically move (exercise), listen to self-improvement audios.

So yesterday, I guess it was no surprise really at the end of summer on an overcast day with tiny raindrops….

….Gosh. It seems like a really good day to start cleaning out the shed, organizing things to take to the dump, make a stack of For Sale items and Giveaways. Put on gloves and haul, stack, throw away, go through 15 year old files. Watch videos briefly on how to move the shed once it’s emptied.

Get ready.

I was alone and doing this almost all day. Phone in the house, computer lying idle. Physical movement, thoughts dancing through.

It does feel good to “do” a job. It still often feels initially better than sitting in silence and stillness.

At least, according to my mind, which comes up with all kinds of reasons why moving slower and sitting quietly is bad.

In quiet sitting, I might feel worried, troubled, afraid, or bored.

Which is probably why I love The Work so very much.

There’s something to “do” with all those thoughts, with that thinking energy. With the feelings of wanting to “batten down the hatches.”

The Work asks, like a little innocent kid…..

….Hey you! Over there! Yes, you! The one running so fast and so busy and working so hard and “doing” lots of stuff!? YOU! 

What are you doing over there, preparing for a big storm? What storm do you think is coming? Why do you think so? Where did you ever get that idea? What are you so worried about?

I love that The Work invites you to actually look at the storm, rather than simply assume it’s coming.

The Work asks “is it true?”

You get to sit in meditation and wonder about your answer, and maybe not answer quite so fast.

And instead of being aware of a huge storm, you can look at one rain squall at a time, and look with a clear pair of safety glasses at that one situation only. That one conversation, that one upset, that one argument, that one moment with that person who scared you, tormented you, disappointed you.

Last night, after my satisfying day of doing (especially according to the one who likes to see accomplishments)….

…..I sat quietly and pondered the Year of Inquiry group, everyone about to start inquiring together on our journeys within.

One person had withdrawn during the day via email, and another one joined.

I updated my list.

I then closed my eyes and held still, feeling the deep appreciation for this moment exactly as it is, without a single need to improve, or take away, or fix, or add, or change anything.

Feeling so grateful for all those preparing to join me, with a joy that inquiry will be in our pockets as a special tool for the entire fall, winter, spring, and then in Summer Camp for The Mind (always included for Year of Inquiry friends).

I love that if I feel upset, whether a drop or a huge brewing storm or a downpour of upset….

….I have four questions, and finding turnarounds.

And I have people to do it with once, twice or three times a week….

….for all the months ahead, through holidays and travels and cold weather and political change and relationship worries and the movement of life.

Even if you’re not doing something as big of a commitment as Year of Inquiry, there are ways to “do” The Work and get it done, as Byron Katie says.

Call the Helpline, get a fabulous partner to connect with regularly. Set time aside to sit and write out your work, if you’re able and willing.

If you’re thinking of joining Year of Inquiry, I’m creating an Orientation presentation that’s brand new (first time I’ve done it).

This Orientation will help people know exactly how to dial in no matter where they live, access the recordings of our calls, prepare for partnering (which is optional), share on our private forum, and enter their own inner world with the best “batten” I could ever imagine having….

….The Work.

The Work is a ‘batten’ to “batten down the hatches” of overwhelming, wild, freaked out, grief-riddled storms.

The Work addresses all the storms experienced in the PAST, the ones I already lived through that made such lasting impressions on me.

And low and behold, when these become less frightening, less dark, light spring rains, or even the sunniest weather I could ever have imagined with crystal clear blue skies….

….then there’s no fear of the future, or winter, anymore.

“The Work is merely four questions; it’s not even a thing. It has no motive, no strings. It’s nothing without your answers. These four questions will join any program you’ve got and enhance it. Any religion you have–they’ll enhance it. If you have no religion, they will bring you joy. And they’ll burn up anything that isn’t true for you. They’ll burn through to the reality that has always been waiting.” ~ Byron Katie in Loving What Is.

If you’re ready for companionship and joining fellow inquirers to help you stay in The Work and “get it done” then come join us in a Year of Inquiry. Three time zones allow you to connect at least once a week, for 3 weeks every month. You’ll then choose if you’d like to be paired with someone in the group (highly recommended) for a month at a time, getting the support of others and sharing in such a deep way, people make life-long friends.

When I left the School for The Work in 2005, I noticed I just did not do The Work that often.

It didn’t fit into the category of “doing”. It was more like sitting still in silence, meditating. Good for me like eating raw broccoli perhaps, but I couldn’t see the immediate results, and it was a little nerve-wracking and awkward all by myself, and felt “hard”.

I would have signed up for a Year of Inquiry in a heartbeat. It’s half the fee of the school itself, and offers structure to stay in The Work for an entire year.

And this year, we’ll be doing a monthly intro session to our topic to do Q & A, share best practices of The Work, hear quotes from Loving What Is, and the retreats (for those who choose to attend) are now 4 days long instead of 3.

Everyone in YOI has access to my phone to text, or my email to write, in case of “emergency” if you go into stormy weather. I am here for all members of YOI when you need it, along with the official solo session everyone gets during the year for some in-depth work (people doing the full YOI including retreats receive at least two solo sessions).

I consider everyone who joins YOI to be my personal teachers, those who are like my fellow students of life. You bring me inquiry in a way I would never do it if left to my own.

If left to my own devices, I’d be cleaning out sheds and battening down hatches with wood and canvas, not four questions.

If left to my own devices, the storms would always be on their way, looming in the distance because I never remembered to ask the question….

….is it true?

“Anger, fear, sadness, discomfort, pain–they should not be allowed in….I believe they are dangerous to my well-being. And so I spend my life running away from them….Much of our suffering comes from deeply unaccepted feelings of helplessness, powerlessness, weakness, insecurity, and uncertainty in the face of this moment.” ~ Jeff Foster in The Deepest Acceptance

Put down the hammer, nails, canvas, battens, and visions of dark clouds in the future (or past).

We’ve got some work to do. Called….answering four questions.

Much love,

Grace

P.S. Learn about Year of Inquiry here.

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The Do-Do of believing in requirements

docknight
Remembering….nothing is required.

Last night, I was leafing through my well-worn book Loving What Is.

I was thinking about time and how I needed more of it.

How I want to hike Mt. Dickerman before the summer is over, connect for meals or walks with some important friends, clean out the shed, finish the doggone book proposal that’s been on the back burner for two years, create the first webinar for the new Year of Inquiry peeps, go on a date with my husband, add a little more time to meditation silence each day….

….and once again I wondered what it would be like if I really remembered every moment that there is nothing truly required. No place I’ll get to that’s “it” after I do all these things.

No way I can exert pressure or force change on my environment, the people I’ve known, the situations I’ve encountered that I find troubling, frightening, sad, or necessary and feel peace.

There is no way I can do everything my mind pictures or suggests to me. No way I can see every place I learn about, or read every book, or get it all done.

There is no way I can avoid heartbreak, or difficult things happening….like disappointment, or death.

A voice dimly shouted “Get to work!” like I should start the list, or start something, anything. It was an unusual day, after all….nothing on the calendar at a set time. Many things could be done, but nothing required for happiness.

Nothing required for happiness.

What a strange concept, right?

I’ve been so conditioned, it seems, to figure out (I love the way the words “figure out” are so mentally oriented) where this life ought to go, for it to be the greatest show on earth….

….or at least a really good one….

….and I’ve been told Nothing Will Happen Unless I Make It Happen.

I’ve got proof of those people who didn’t do anything, and tanked.

No success, no service to others, nothing noble, no enlightenment before they died, no major impact on the human race, no invention that stops global warming, no big accomplishment, no wild adventure that could be made into a Hollywood movie.

Sigh.

(This one again, Grace? Come on. How many times do you have to inquire about…..)

Deep breath.

I have to make stuff happen. This moment, not enough is happening. I need to make MORE happen.

Is it true?

Suddenly, remembering what a funny thought that one is, that I have to be the get-it-done person, or else (terrible images).

I mean, this just isn’t true.

There’s a problem in this moment….not true.

Not even close.

I know what I’m like WITH the thought there’s a problem, and I need to make stuff happen so I’m better off or more successful later on.

I’m tight, snappish. I don’t stop working on these things I think are valuable, that help the effort to get somewhere very important.

My daughter interrupts and I say with some sharpness “not now, wait five minutes”.

Not that there’s anything wrong with that….but really? Is this such an emergency and so important I can’t answer her question, and cook some dinner with her?

Who would I be without this story?

Noticing how much fun I have in movement, and in slowness. It moves back and forth, flowing strong, then soft.

It doesn’t have to be turned on, turned up, going 100 mph all day without stopping to be called “successful”.

Without the belief it’s required to make stuff happen, I might sit on the front porch and talk with an old friend on skype for awhile, then go on a bike ride.

I might reflect on how I’ve heard that the man Siddhartha, who became known as Buddha, fried so very hard to find wisdom that he practically killed himself with aesthetic spiritual practice for years.

Even WITH the thought….I may notice I don’t tackle the list, and instead, I still bike ride.

Who is this “I” that’s noticing the Task Master anyway? Or the Lazy Do Nothing-er? Or the images of what will happen if (Do or Not Do)?

Without the belief that I must “do” I notice I actually DO do.

That is, I enjoy doing some things. I adore writing. I love to read. I like talking closely with a friend one-on-one. I like exchanging emails with people asking about space in Year of Inquiry. New ideas float through. I schedule my first “livestream” for Thursday at 1 pm without really knowing what it is or what I’ll say or if it will work.

I notice the Way of It is someone loving writing, getting up and drinking some water, asking my husband a question about his day, hearing silence, eating a juicy nectarine, watching Mooji on youtube, or leafing through Loving What Is.

Remembering happens, that this is it, nothing more, no later future like tomorrow. THIS.

Loving What Is, page 53.

Katie: If I think that someone else is causing my problem, I’m insane.

Inquirer: I see. So….we cause our own problems?

Katie: Yes, but only all of them. It’s just been a misunderstanding. Your misunderstanding. Not theirs. Not ever, not even a little. Your happiness is your responsibility. This is very good news. 

Maybe this also includes when I think my mind is causing problems, or money is causing problems, or the body is causing problems, or the mosquito bite itch is causing problems.

It’s all a misunderstanding. My happiness is my responsibility.

Now.

This is very good news. Very, very good news.

The best news I could ever imagine in the world. That without believing my stressful thoughts (or any thoughts) are true in this moment….

….I’m not only sane. I’m happy.

Thank you, Four Questions.

And if that’s a big jump to take, start on the first “problem”. Get with others and do The Work. Take a telecourse, call the Help Line, find a partner, answer the questions, attend a meetup for The Work, joinYear of Inquiry.

Get it in your bones and see what happens when you let go of “doing” and simply question what hurts, instead.

Much love,

Grace

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Orchestrate your own happiness (who’s coming?)

nisargadattaquoteYOIYesterday I offered for the third time (I called it an Encore since so many people requested it “just once more”) the MasterClass on Ten Barriers That Derail, Deflect, Cloud, Make Murky or Result in Meh When It Comes To Doing The Work….And How To Dissolve Them.

Watch and listen to the replay here. It will be available until Friday.

To be honest, I’m not sure the class could thoroughly cover how to dissolve all the barriers. I mean, really.

But just being aware of what creates havoc….

….or as someone mentioned recently…..the mind’s “antics”….

….can change everything and bring much greater awareness.

I offered four exercises that help you dig into thoughts and get to the bottom of the stressful barriers and patterns we tend to fall into.

And I offered the four ingredients I’ve found that support any kind of personal, transformational work (connect, feel, bond, imagine)….

….but only you ultimately get to discover what your barriers are and how you might dissolve them, in your own time, in your own way.

Self-inquiry is an unplanned program of wondering about your life, your own experience, your own brilliant, crazy, wildly-fast thoughts, your beliefs, your perceptions.

Some call it questioning your suffering, and the meaning of being human and living this life….wondering why it sometimes hurts, and exploring how to navigate it all.

Funny, with self-inquiry, there are no formulas, no step-by-step plans, no guarantees, no results, no certainties, no promises, no answers (but your own), no golden tickets, and nowhere to go.

What an odd business to be in.

We’re asking over and over again…..”is it true?”

And yet, here I am, here we are.

Coming back to the slight sudden in-breath that happens when we answer the question about whether or not something is absolutely true about this terrible situation we’re contemplating….

….wow….what I’m thinking and believing might not be true!!?! 

There’s nothing like discovering what you thought was true (that’s scary or sad)…..isn’t.

There’s nothing like discovering you may have barriers to freedom, in your opinion….but there are four questions you can answer, to check on reality to see if it’s really as unfriendly as you imagine.

“When you realize that suffering and discomfort are the call to inquiry, you may actually begin to look forward to uncomfortable feelings. You may even experience them as friends coming to show you what you have not yet investigated thoroughly enough. It’s no longer necessary to wait for people or situations to change in order to experience peace and harmony. The Work is the direct way to orchestrate your own happiness.” ~ Byron Katie in Loving What Is

Year of Inquiry begins with our Orientation in two weeks, and our first telecall in three weeks, the first retreat in eight weeks (if you’re coming to the optional retreats).

If you’ve tried everything to stop thinking stressful thoughts, and to feel better, but it hasn’t exactly worked….and you know deep within that you are your own teacher (along with reality)….then you’re probably already thinking about joining.

Early bird ends Friday night, which helps with cost, but people will still join afterwards and still get a great deal for the support of doing The Work month in and month out for a year.

Read all about it here. I’d love to have you share in this amazing adventure with me.

Who’s coming?

Much love,

Grace

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The one thought that leads to all suffering

Yesterday was a glorious summer afternoon in Seattle. The rare days of deep blue sky, bright sun, a light breeze singing in the wind chimes, and the most perfect temperature imaginable.

It may have possibly been the first Sunday like it all summer, here in the Pacific Northwest, where mild temperatures and overcast skies are much more the norm.

Of course, as I gathered my clipboards, set out the cup of pens, moved the chairs into place in a circle, put all the dishes in the dishwasher in the kitchen, and cleaned the bathroom….

….part of me thought, “I wonder if anyone would show up today at the meetup to do The Work?”

cellphoneanger
Oh no! I’m believing my thoughts as I read this text!

Only three people came.

But oh what fun, looking into the mind, our stressful thoughts, and taking them through the four questions.

It didn’t matter if there had been only one person showing up.

Something is precious about companions traveling along with us.

Not just precious….but practically, for me, for years….

a requirement.

Without other people, I would not sit and do The Work for two hours like we did yesterday.

Left on my own, it is just as possible yesterday that I might have gone bicycling, done laundry, gone online to look at more venues for upcoming retreat options, made airline reservations necessary for September, gone grocery shopping, read while lounging on the front porch, or put clean clothes away.

Instead, I got to sit thoughtfully, quietly, and consider a painful situation….

….when I believed someone I cared about didn’t appreciate me.

I love this simple question to enter The Work and the discovery of a situation you might have found disturbing: “When in your life has someone NOT appreciated you?”

Byron Katie has a wonderful invitation for us all, which is to watch what happens we perceive we’re not loved, approved of, or appreciated in a situation.

She calls it LAA (Love, Approval, Appreciation).

Now….here’s the funny thing about this simple awareness of not being appreciated (or loved, or approved of, or acknowledged, or accepted—you get the idea, use whatever word makes the most sense for you)….

….I notice any time I’ve ever, ever been upset about anything, it’s because of the perceived absence of LAA.

Yeah, seriously.

And yeah, that simple.

My friend ditched me because of something I didn’t even do, or say? She didn’t really love me. My sister never answered my texts? She doesn’t really appreciate me. My grandpa was too bossy, controlling, and acted like a dictator? He didn’t approve of me. My partner left me? He didn’t really love me. My friend demanded too much time and attention from me and didn’t take no for an answer? He didn’t appreciate me and my life circumstances. I lost all my money? God doesn’t appreciate me, my ancestors didn’t appreciate me (no inheritance), my partner didn’t appreciate me. I lost my job? My boss didn’t approve of me.

Every time. Every stressful experience, someone (including God/Source/Universe/Reality) doesn’t appreciate, love or approve of ME.

Kind of funny, right?

What this ends up meaning about The Work is that as I identify situations that disturb me, or create anxiety, fear, anger, irritation….

….I am questioning the belief, in these situations, that I am not truly loved (or the other words that can be substituted for love in all the variations we describe it).

So right now, think of someone who you think isn’t really loving you, or approving of you, or appreciating you.

See them in your mind doing that thing they did, or saying those words to you, or ignoring you, and it feels painful.

They don’t appreciate who you really are. They don’t appreciate the real you. They don’t love you. They don’t care about you. They don’t approve.

Is it true?

In my mind, I’m reading a text, and it says “I am done”. This refers to the relationship I have with someone. It stabs me in the gut. I feel sad, then angry, all in the flash of one second.

It’s true!

She doesn’t appreciate me at all!

What a *$%&@$*!

(See how fast that happens? It’s called not actually answering the question, which isn’t then doing The Work).

Back to the question. Right.

Can I absolutely know it’s true she doesn’t appreciate me?

I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU’RE ASKING ME THIS QUESTION—DID YOU READ THE TEXT I RECEIVED FROM HER? Here….let me read it to you….you’ll be on my side then….you’ll see what I have to deal with.

Oh. Wait.

That would be going into justification, explaining, telling a nice big fat juicy story that proves I’m right about this, and she really, really doesn’t appreciate me.

Rats.

Just answer the question.

Deep breath.

Can I absolutely know this text means she doesn’t love me?

No.

I really can’t know it’s absolutely true. In fact, I know she does.

How do I react when I believe she doesn’t appreciate me, and I’m reading the words “I am done” and it feels like I’m getting cut off and slammed and dismissed and other words in the text seem to globally say the entire relationship is screwed and always has been?

Yikes.

Rage.

I want to be sarcastic back in a reply text. I feel very, very hurt underneath the anger. I’m taking it so personally. I feel constricted and contracted around those words I’m reading. In my mind I treat her like she’s wrong, and I’m right.

So who would I be without this belief she doesn’t appreciate me?

Wow.

I’d be reading the words of a very hurt person, who doesn’t know what else to do or say, who feels…..unappreciated. Someone who’s tired and angry.

I’d read the actual words which say not “I am done” with this whole entire relationship for the rest of life as we know it….but “I am done” with this particular format and way of relating. She’s simply saying “no” to what’s been proposed.

Without the belief “she doesn’t appreciate me” I also notice this is not all about me (haha). I’m simply looking. I’m observing someone really, really, really upset.

I have a lot of compassion for upset.

(And to be entirely honest….I’m not actually observing anyone in reality. I see a text, with words, on my phone, and I am IMAGINING her yelling at me and fuming in anger and wanting to hurt me….I don’t see anyone in the room with me. I am reading a text, for God sakes. That’s it.)

Without the belief she doesn’t appreciate me….I look around the beautiful room I sit in, with my phone and this text on it. I see white shades on a big pretty window with sparkles of sun coming through in slit shapes, I hear voices of people walking by, I feel the chair supporting this body, and see red toe nails in black flip flops.

Turning the belief around: I don’t appreciate her, she DOES appreciate me, I don’t appreciate myself.

In this exact moment, reading the text with her words “I am done”how could these turnarounds be just as true, or truer?

I don’t appreciate her: Yes, I’m immediately judging her as immature, bratty, closed and so mean. I rip her to shreds in my head and see images of her making mistakes, or lying. I don’t see the wisdom in maybe taking a break and a sabbatical for awhile. Sabbaticals can be really good. They were invented for a reason.

She does appreciate me: She’s communicating with me in this very text, she’s saying “no” and telling the honest truth for herself, she’s not coming over and yelling at me, she’s leaving me alone–pretty low key really. No sound was uttered, only words sent electronically. I do find it gentle, now that I think about it. She didn’t ever say she was done for all time and hated me, or actually anything about me not being worthy of her appreciation. She only said she didn’t like the way things played out and she didn’t feel any hope for it unfolding in a new way. She could be right.

I don’t appreciate myself: I’m thinking if it doesn’t go the way I want, I’m doomed or I have no family and no love at all. I’m not aware of my own resilience, inner silence, joy and capacity to care for me. I’m not aware of my freedom in the moment, even if someone says “I’m done” to discover happiness. I’m seeing myself as quite small, and dependent on getting “nice” texts not ones that look like this.

Holy Moly.

I can’t believe how much I wasn’t appreciating myself by all I assumed so quickly in less than 30 seconds, when reading a text. My whole day changed by a few sentences in writing.

And this realization could happen because people came over to do The Work with me.

Once again, there is nothing like community and connection to allow The Work to sink in like a collective prayer, a group intention, an expression of desire to share, join, receive.

Thank you to everyone who has ever shown up to share in this incredible adventure with me. I could never do it without you. And that includes the text-er, the one who supposedly didn’t appreciate me.

“You can see that when you believe the thought, there is an uneasy feeling, a disturbance that can range from mild discomfort to fear or panic. Since you may have realized from Question 1 that the thought isn’t even true for you, you’re looking at the power of a lie. Your nature is truth, and when you oppose it, you don’t feel like yourself. Stress never feels as natural as peace does…..

….You can’t push yourself away from God; that’s not a possibility. You can only push yourself away from the awareness of God within you, for a while.” ~ Byron Katie in Loving What Is

Much love,

Grace

P.S. The best way in the world to devote time to do The Work in your life is by joining community and making time to practice it. One of the best ways I know to do this is in Year of Inquiry. Sign up now during early bird registration through August 19th, five more days, and save a huge $500. Group therapy, guided facilitation sessions, support groups in specific modalities, training programs….all range from $400 per month, to $15,000 per year. Nothing is as inexpensive as this Year of Inquiry for how much time we share in self-realization and personal development.

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Are you sure it’s disappointing?

if you're disappointed....time to question your thoughts
if you’re disappointed….time to question your thoughts

In the past year, I’ve received a few questions from people connected to the Institute for The Work (ITW) about credits for programs I offer, but especially Year of Inquiry.

(In case you’re not familiar with ITW, it’s a very thorough in-depth training and certification program in Facilitation of The Work created by Byron Katie and many others in 2008).

I finally decided to write to the institute friends and ask about whether or not Year of Inquiry could offer more credits for these folks training to become certified facilitators.

Just the other day, I found out….not yet.

First, I need to offer some of their teleclasses inside the Institute, and teach their curriculum.

It makes sense. They need to see me in action as a teacher, get evaluations from people taking the courses, get super familiar with the curriculum inside ITW.

I had this little let-down though.

I had gotten all excited. They ran it by Katie. It sounded like I might very well be able to call my one year program the equivalent to a 9 day School for The Work plus 80 more hours of partner training in facilitation.

That would have been a lot of credits people could get, for taking Year of Inquiry!

Have you ever found out some exciting, maybe unexpected news….and thought Oh Cool! That sounds great!

You get excited and have visions of the way it will be.

It was like a little journey inside the head….I might be able to offer ALL THOSE CREDITS to people….wowwee!

Imagination goes off on thrilled tangent at how awesome it is because more people will like this and sign up, it will help them, this is an acknowledgement of the beauty of the program.

Then….wait. No, it turns out. Not gonna happen.

Imagination goes off on a disappointed tangent. Too bad because now no one will sign up, people like credits so they won’t like this, I’m doing it wrong.

It is HILARIOUS how the mind runs rampant with one new idea, and what it thinks it means, all in a course of literally a few days.

Now, here’s the great, great, great and I mean great news about all this.

There was a strong part of me, a place I was looking from the whole time, that was unmoved and completely undisturbed.

It had no idea what would be best here. It watched with a neutral eye.

It’s like there was a twinkle of fun in the whole thing.

And I notice plans for Year of Inquiry moving forward, with joy, with or without credits.

How do I know I’m supposed to carry on, and for now it doesn’t matter? It feels right. It feels brilliant and exciting.

It feels like the perfect format for some people, those who don’t care about certification credits (just like it’s always been so far) who want to keep returning to The Work over and over, week after week, every month, all year.

Year of Inquiry is for those who want to answer the four questions deeply without giving up or quitting, or dreaming of doing The Work without DOING it.

I organized it because I needed it, and I still love it.

The most remarkable people tend to show up. This is not surprising. People who know they want to quiet themselves down, slow their minds down, and become more loving and kind with the world and with themselves.

Who would I be without the story that having mega-credits to offer participants in Year of Inquiry would have been the better outcome?

Trusting. Happy. Laughing.

Thrilled to implement the newer format I have planned, and the longer 4 day retreats for both autumn and spring, and the new webinar that’ll be at the beginning of each month on the topic with guidance through a Judge Your Neighbor worksheet, and the more in-depth partner work for those who want it, and the monthly in-person group again.

Who would you be, right in this moment, without the belief that it should have gone that other way? The way you were hoping it might go, even if just for awhile?

Who would you be without the belief that you should have been with that other partner, or it would have been better in the other job or position, or it would have been better if you got the second house instead of the first, or it would be better if you had a possible $25 instead of the $10 in your hand right now, or you had gotten the green one instead of the red one?

Turning the thought around: the way it’s going is perfect. Everything unfolding in just the right timing, in just the right way, for the highest good for all.

Can you find this feeling within, for your situation?

How could this be as true, or truer, for the Year of Inquiry program?

Well, I don’t have to evaluate others on their facilitation skills or their awareness, or for any reason at all. I don’t need to “grade” anyone. Or myself. I’m learning from everyone there.

People can come to Year of Inquiry to immerse themselves in however much inquiry they want, it’s all optional, there’s nothing mandatory or required. It’s sooooo easy for me (and what I’ve been learning is true about life–that nothing’s required–even when I think something is).

I get to relax and see who shows up, and notice how quiet, peaceful and silent this moment is right now….no matter what’s going on in the mind.

I can do whatever I want, make changes whenever I want, take suggestions and new ideas whenever I want. Last year we started an in-person group because someone in YOI wanted more face-to-face contact. Bam. It was created.

How would I ever possibly be able to know that the other alternative I was dreaming of for a few days….would have been better?

How do I know it wasn’t supposed to happen? It didn’t.

That goes for everything that didn’t happen.

Wow.

“The past is an illusion (over). The future is an illusion (not happened yet) so any time you’re worried, you’re worried over….Nothing. That’s how friendly the Universe is.” ~ Byron Katie in Being With Byron Katie 2016

“Return is the movement of the Tao. Yielding is the way of the Tao.” ~ Tao Te Ching #40

Much love,

Grace

P.S. If you have the idea you might love doing The Work for a year with other marvelous and interesting people….and you wonder if The Work could really be helpful for you….I’ll be offering two live masterclass webinars in August on how to dissolve barriers to your process in The Work, when Year of Inquiry is still open for early-bird registration. August 4 or August 9. More soon. Just a little heads-up special for Grace Note readers.