Money – Page 6 – The Work of Byron Katie with Grace

May 6, 2015

Questioning Angry Thoughts About The J-O-B!

moneyinthesky — Reaching too hard for money? Question your thinking, relax about money.

I’m excited for this coming Money Soul Sunday. Come join me if you want to do the work on money.

Suggested donation for 3 Sundays for 9-11 am Pacific Time inquiry sessions is $33 – $99 for one, two or three weeks, come to any or all.

If you’re having trouble with paying, it’s OK….just write to me by hitting reply.

Every session will be recorded and sent to anyone who wants this work.

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You might know my dreaded story of losing money, wanting money, obsessing about money, being so discouraged about money I could hardly handle it (but apparently, I did).

It felt soooooooo horrible at the time.

It even felt horrible AFTER the time.

I would remember the anxiety, like I was holding my breath, wondering constantly from month to month if I could pull the house payment together.

My kids were eligible for free meals at school.

I could have gone on food stamps, but was too proud to start the process.

I would dress in my power suit, and go to interviews. At least 20 once I really started pounding the pavement.

Many times, I was a finalist. I had never had such a strange “losing” streak with one person getting hired over me in the final decision.

Except.

Here’s the weird thing.

That whole pins-and-needles time of wondering what would happen every day with money, I had a secret.

I tried to smash it down and hide it and change it and bury it in the ground and fix myself.

My secret?

I did NOT WANT TO WORK at a J-O-B.

Seriously, I was so angry at the system, so bored in past jobs, feeling like a loser, and not having gotten the right education, and having let myself become dependent in a marriage, and not actually being all that interested in ANY companies or organizations.

Plus let’s not even get started on my feelings about the “nothing” I had to offer.

My self-esteem was so trashed….

….I never felt genuine and authentic in any single interview.

But a part of my process, at that time, was to begin to do The Work in earnest on not only money, but on work. Having a boss, co-workers, commutes, break rooms, cubicles.

I really had some negative ideas about “work”.

Did you notice I called work….which is really the very dynamic (and often fun, and challenging) experience of offering services and expertise in exchange for participating in an organizational community….

….a J-O-B like it was a swear word??

I hated the thought of someone “controlling” me and bossing me around, and expecting me to act certain ways.

I thought it would mean I was being suppressed, imprisoned, and enslaved.

Phew.

That was some rough and stressful thinking!

Thank goodness I recognized the stress and started asking myself….

….who would I be without the belief that getting a job was like going to prison and conforming to an office-building environment, forever?

Ha ha, I laugh at myself now.

Because without the belief, I noticed I felt excited about work.

And after I questioned my thoughts about jobs, I started getting more interested in the job hunt. At the very same time as people started asking me to facilitate them for sessions in The Work.

I got a part time job, not a full time one, through a weird series of circumstances. Which was perfect because it gave me time to work with more clients at home.

And at my new part time job, I loved the people, the interesting new problems, the communication challenges, my beautiful fancy office chair, the conference rooms with stunning views of the lake below, and excellent health insurance.

I loved the meetings, the really incredible professionals I met, the watching, learning, hearing and learning mega details about medicine and treatments I would never have learned in a million years normally, outside of medical school.

I practically miss that job, it was so cool.

Wow.

I never could have imagined actually becoming generally comfortable, feeling like I belonged, at a J-O-B.

Thank goodness for The Work.

It helped me turn my entire attitude towards finding jobs and earning money around to making it more like “play” in my reality.

Well….OK, that might be getting a little carried away (the word play) but it certainly wasn’t so “hard” all the time.

It was not positive thinking or trying to have a positive attitude, it was actually seeing it for real. A wonderful place to be for certain times during the week, with pretty awesome people.

If you’re upset about work, or unemployment, or co-workers, or commuting, or paychecks, or raises, or anything you do in your experience of money….

….question your thinking, change your world.

We’ll be doing this on May 10, May 17, May 24. Join me!

Much love,

Grace

May 2, 2015

May Money Sunday TeleSessions for Freedom

Cherry flowers and dollar — Do you see money as beautiful as the flowers, no matter how big or how little?

Have you been worried about money….again?

Well, I know I have.

I’ve heard from many others who appear to be plagued by money woes as well.

Not enough, I never make my OWN money, too many taxes, that client didn’t pay, that program costs too much, I should have gotten a better raise, must tighten the belt, where will it come from tomorrow, can’t EVER get enough, that was a disappointing business deal, my house sold for less than I thought, my art doesn’t sell well enough, I need more for retirement…..

…..on and on go the money thoughts.

Since I noticed my own money thoughts (very pissy about things costing too much, like my health insurance, getting the wall fixed, travel)….

….I knew it was time to offer something different.

Sliding scale.

And if you’ve got nothing, then heck….pay only $5 to cover the paypal service fee….and you’re in.

Yes, really.

People who want to do The Work on Money don’t always have a lot of money, or they THINK they don’t have a lot of money, or they’re crazy worried about money and want to keep it very close.

I know the feeling.

So let’s do The Work.

May Money Sunday Soul Sessions.

May 10, 17 and 24 from 9 am – 11 am Pacific Time.

It might seem funny to say “money” and “soul” in the same sentence, but I find my thoughts about money have been my thoughts about life, the universe and reality.

There won’t be enough. I’m not cared for or supported. I have to do this all by myself.

Let’s turn it around and do it together, instead.

Click here to sign up. You can join via the web or telephone/skype.

Even if you don’t get the chance to be the one in the hot seat, bringing a thought to inquiry, you’ll get to follow along, do your work, give yourself this most powerful investigation, for your own sake and for everyone else’s too.

Let’s be part of the Peace Movement, even with money.

Question your thinking, change your world.

Join me by clicking to my website here, and clicking the Buy button.

“Who would you be without the thought ‘I need more money to be safe?’ You might be a lot easier to be with. You might even begin to notice the laws of generosity, the laws of letting money go out fearlessly and come back fearlessly. You don’t ever need more money than you have.” ~ Byron Katie

“Wealth is the ability to fully experience life.” ~ Henry David Thoreau

Much love,

Grace

April 16, 2015

When Taxes Hurt….Stop It

gimmemoney Yesterday I had to write a check to pay taxes here in the USA.

I didn’t like it.

At least that’s what one voice was shouting in the corner.

Like a crazy Gollum character…..

“Noooooo! Don’t write that check! OMG she’s doing it! Help! This is a disaster! Someone stop her!!”

The check was accompanying my first ever “extension” form to the IRS.

As in, the first time I was not able to complete my taxes successfully by the April 15th deadline.

I’m turning everything in, for the first time, to an accounting firm.

I’ve always done all my taxes by myself. With Turbo Tax online for the past decade, and on paper before that.

I also generally worked for other companies, or had one side part-time business that didn’t make much extra money, or usually LOST money after expenses.

But now, I work for myself full time.

And I’ve done better and better and gotten completely out of debt and have hours and hours of experience working with groups and people and making my work more refined and more productive and farther reaching and of greater benefit to people.

Forever expanding. So far. For now.

But then….taxes! ARGHHHHGGHHHG!

Those greedy bas*&$*s!!

(Picture a bunch of official government-looking people drinking coffee in offices, waiting for my check).

I had to laugh….finding myself with such thoughts.

Because I have no idea what or who the receivers of the tax checks look like, and I’ve agreed by living here in this country to pay the government a percentage of my earnings.

As The Work worked me (I didn’t even write anything down on paper, yet) I noticed walking to the store that I had the thought….

….I appreciate this road.

Roads are built with taxes.

I appreciate the sidewalk, the traffic lights, the electricity running overhead. I appreciate the bridge, the fire station and the city hall right across the street. Those were all built starting with taxes.

I suddenly remembered one of my first bosses, a long time ago.

He was a small business owner with five employees, and used to be the head of a huge corporation’s Operations department. This was his second year out on his own as a private consultant. He was an expert at what he did, and I worked for him as a general administrative assistant.

I remember helping him gather tax documentation together.

With a fine toothed comb, he wanted to go through every transaction that was international and make sure it was put on a separate list so it was not included in taxes. He would have called them the same name I was saying in my own head.

I remember all those years ago thinking “what a cheapskate, jeez!”

Boom.

No more separation from him. I joined with him, 30 years later from the future (which is now) with understanding and compassion.

The urge to want to keep, hoard, protect and never lose anything is weird but not uncommon…..

…..especially with MONEY!

I notice I can make a big fat story out of it being better to keep andworse to give away and not have.

Who would I be without that story?

Wow.

Almost giddy, really.

Its a joyful lack of fear, and excited willingness and eagerness to give, to offer, to allow money to come and go and depart and return.

Like sitting near a river watching it flow on by, not trying to do anything about it, not trying to save it up or go find containers to put it in, or build a dam, or drink lots of water right now because there won’t be any later.

None of that is on my mind next to the river.

I listen, I relax, I’m still.

Having fun paying taxes.

“Enlightenment can be measured by how compassionately and wisely you interact with others–with all others, not just those who support you in the way that you want. How you interact with those who do not support you shows how enlightened you really are.” ~ Adyashanti

It dawned on me in this act of writing a check I felt uncomfortable writing that I was treating the tax payment itself, money, the people at the IRS, the government, and myself….

….all without compassion.

So I stopped.

Much love, Grace

February 25, 2015

It Not Only Wasn’t Bad, It Was Wonderful…The Surprise of Losing All My Money

Last night the current Money telecourse gathered.

We’ve been looking for seven weeks now at money.

What money is, what money does, what money would give us, what money offers, and checking the very common belief that so many people share that More Money Is Better.

Isn’t it funny how true that can appear to be?

Nothing inherently wrong with loving money….but so dang stressful when wanting money becomes intense, demanding, full of despair, or confusing.

It’s like unrequited love.

As we looked last night, I love how participants in the class noticed their childish feelings, demanding that their money level be different, at least hoping that it would be higher later, if not now.

Many years ago (but not all that long–it was December 2008) I remember well. I had $10.81 left in my bank account.

It was Christmas time.

I could afford almost nothing for my children. I could hardly believe this was happening. I was a single mom.

If I didn’t come up with almost $2000 within 2 weeks, I would begin the foreclosure process with our little cottage, my one asset besides my old clunker car.

I had pictures of the Titanic sinking, full of money. Everything pouring out, going down. Or me riding an airplane dive bombing towards the earth careening out of control.

But who would I be in that moment, without the belief that I needed more money?

Almost bizarre.

Really?

I could be without that thought?

Wouldn’t that be dangerous, or stupid, or in denial, or retarded of me? I mean, it was OBVIOUS I needed more money.

I needed it to “save” my house. I needed my car. I needed to live in that cottage. I needed to keep my kids in that school. I needed to remain in that neighborhood. I needed to buy Christmas presents.

Are you sure? Are you entirely positive? Would life be so ruined without these items, this plan….that is MY plan?

Who would I really be without the belief that it has to go MY way?

Wow.

As I became willing to open my mind to alternative possibilities, the turnarounds started tumbling forward, shockingly, without too much effort.

How could this be….interesting? Advantageous? Exciting? Full of potential? Curious?

I remembered when I was 22 having a major existential crisis and I gave away or threw away all my possessions. Even my highschool year books. Most of my clothes, gone. All trinkets, photo albums, posters, material possessions….gone.

Everything I owned fit into my car.

There was a freedom and lightness I had never known, in having nothing. Nothing to worry about, nothing to protect, nothing to take care of, nothing to repair or fix or get upset about.

Ha ha! Maybe this could be the same.

Could I have Christmas and have the genuine experience of the Grinch story?

Yes. I could.

I borrowed about $60 and went to Goodwill and bought used thrift store items for my two kids. It looked like nothing under the tree.

On Christmas morning, it didn’t matter.

There was almost nothing to wrap. It made things pretty easy. I thought of Laura Ingalls Wilder like I imagined when I was little, who received an orange and a stick of candy in the Kansas blizzards, and how amazing she thought it was.

I noticed the awareness of knowing nothing is required.

Nothing Is Required.

The absolute freedom of pure nothing. Knowing nothing, having nothing, be wild and undomesticated and open to the unknown.

Who would I be without the belief that more money would be better?

Free to start right now living in the joyful present moment, where we were breathing, warm, laughing, alive….with zero expectations for the future.

“I have helped people do The Work on rape, war in Vietnam and Bosnia, torture, internment in Nazi concentration camps, the death of a child, and the prolonged pain of illnesses like cancer. Many of us think that it’s not humanly possible to accept extreme experiences like these, much less meet them with unconditional love. But not only is that possible, it’s our true nature. Nothing terrible has ever happened except in our thinking. Reality is always good, even in situations that seem like nightmares. The story we tell is the only nightmare that we have lived. When I say that the worst that can happen is a belief, I am being literal. The worst that can happen to you is your uninvestigated belief system.” Byron Katie in Loving What Is

I noticed that day, the birds flew, there was enough gas in my car to drive to my mother’s house for celebration, there was a feast to eat with family, everyone was alive, happy, breathing.

Except in my head, nothing terrible was happening.

And then, not even in my head.

Having so little gave me awareness of what it was really like, instead of imagining what it would be like.

It was wonderful.

How lucky could I be?

Love, Grace

January 31, 2015

Does Your Happiness Depend On Getting A New Job?

The other day, a lovely inquirer sent me an email to ask if I would write a Grace Note about job loss.

As in….

….HEEEELLLLLLPPPPP! I LOST MY JOB!!!!! OMG!!

If you’ve ever had the experience of unexpectedly losing work, the one or only way you relied on income, then you might panic.

Or….could it be your thinking is making you panic?

(Say yes).

Right now, in the Money teleclass, we’re looking at Everything Money. And it’s so closely connected to Everything Work, because you do your work, it seems, to obtain the paycheck.

Otherwise, you probably wouldn’t go to that job, right?

When you like your job, or you feel happy with the security it provides, you may feel very threatened when it drops out from under you in a way you didn’t plan.

First step….breathe very deeply.

And then, do The Work.

Here’s how you might approach your predicament, if you notice you’re waking up at night, anxiously checking job postings, or freaking out….

It’s a little counter-intuitive, as in opposite of what you might naturally do.

After you’ve breathed a few big deep breaths, and relaxed yourself as best you can….

….consider your Worst Case Scenario.

I know this is odd.

But what’s deeply helpful is to actually explore, rather than going insane on the inside and trying to avoid feeling too much, your greatest fear in this situation.

What are you picturing?

Are you thinking you’ll have to move? That you’ll lose all your worldly possessions? That you’ll be considered a failure? That you’ll starve to death? That you’ll be living under a bridge?

Be realistic now.

When I lost all my money, I had visions of absolute failure. When I really thought it through and took a look a my prospects, I knew my mom would take me in (she had already offered). I knew it would take a whole lot of crazy circumstances for me to ever become homeless. Too many friends, too many family members.

It made me sick to think I was about to lose my house to foreclosure (I didn’t actually wind up losing it, but I cut it close) and I felt like sucha loser.

The shame was immense. I wouldn’t have wanted any of those family members or friends to know….that was the real problem.

My embarrassment. My self-criticism and anger with me. My fury at feeling so alone and unsupported.

So who would I be without these self-defeating beliefs? Without these visions of me the victim? Me who wasted my education, who should have gone to medical school and planned a better career?

Who would I be without the belief that I was unsupported, and foolish? Who would I be without the belief that I needed money in order to be happy?

Noticing how much I still had.

Feeling the joy and excitement of change, new possibilities, inventing a new life, open.

Turning the thoughts around: you are supported, you are being invited to something new, you are smart, connected, a winner, you don’t need more money in order to be happy.

You will be fine if you lose your house, your possessions, your car.

More than fine, it could be an incredible, magical adventure.

That’s what happened to me.

I now have a house the most perfect size for cleaning, living in, sharing with my kids and husband, having people over….and it’s an 8th the size of my old house. I’ll have it paid off completely in less than a decade.

I love every piece of work I do (well, maybe some of the admin stuff irritates me from time to time, but its rare).

I own a car without any car payments.

The sky’s the limit with my income possibilities, it just keeps going up.

Every day I get to question my thinking, and study silence (my favorite).

See the benefits of whatever it is you’ve lost. They will be there, if you look.

See how it could be a good thing that you’ve landed where you are.

You may as well give some weight to the advantage of reality, rather than objecting to it.

In fact, the more you resist, the more you lose. Bummer, but it’s true.

“When you’ve become a total success in business and have more money than you could ever spend, what are you going to have? Happiness? Isn’t that why you wanted money? Let’s take a shortcut that can last a lifetime. Answer this question: Who would you be without the story ‘My future depends on making a lot of money’?Happier. More relaxed. With or without the money. You’d have everything you wanted money for in the first place.” ~ Byron Katie in Question Your Thinking, Change The World

Who would you be, right now, without the belief you need a job, or money, to be happy?

Having a blast finding a new job?

Love, Grace

January 22, 2015

Feeling Poor? Why? Question Your Story

Link to my new Peace Talk podcast right HERE.

I’d love your review in Itunes (check 3 minute video on my website to see how to submit a review if you’ve never done it before, by clickingHERE).

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Meanwhile….long long ago (yesterday afternoon)….

….I forgot all about podcasts, emails, anything-computer.

There was a knock on the door.

I was sitting in my yoga pants and slippers. Dishes were on the counter. Laundry was half way finished so the laundry basket was in the middle of the kitchen floor full of dirty clothes. The carpet had pine needles all over it. The kitchen table had piles of sheet music, school forms, unopened mail and overdue library books. My headphones from skype sessions were lying piled on top of a dish cloth. Through an open door, the bed was unmade and a package of recently opened toilet paper rolls was leaning on a chair.

Oh.

The two guys are here to do an energy audit of our little cottage, analyzing the “holes” in the house and why there may be so much heat being used for such a tiny little place.

They would need to go into every room.

Stomach sinking.

EMERGENCY! I NEED TO CLEAN UP!

This is embarrassing!

Smile anyway. Welcome official-looking men! No problem, come right in!

(Can I stand in front of the laundry basket and they might not see it? Maybe they won’t notice that I look like I’m wearing what I slept in last night. Since I am.)

They are thinking I don’t care about my house. They are wondering why would someone like ME of all people request an energy analysis of my home?

I obviously have no pride.

One of the men notes there is a standing electric radiator heater in the garage.

“Its perfectly fine you have this kind of heater, all the low income housing uses these kinds of heaters because they are safer.”

SEE!!!!

He thinks I’m low income housing. I’ve chosen this tiny house to live in. It’s messy and trashy.

He shouldn’t think I’m poor!!!!!

I could feel the heat rising in my torso. I wanted a do-over. Not be surprised by their knock on the door. Firm, prepared, powerful, in control.

So they wouldn’t assume I’m in poverty.

Ha ha!

Who would I be without the thought that they shouldn’t think I’m poor? Who would I be without the belief that I AM poor?

Without the thought that being in this cute little cottage means I don’t have much money, and not having much money means being “poor” and being poor means I must not be trying or caring, and not trying or caring is something to be ashamed of?

Who would I be without this crazy story swarming in all in a split second?

Laughing at the insanity of the mind.

Who would I be without fearing judgment, in that moment?

I’d be having a blast talking with these two interesting characters who have arrived with lots of equipment, questions, pencils and graph paper to have a look at a structure called “my house” (which really isn’t).

How fun that they’re here! How curious, fascinating, even helpful!

Sigh.

I turn the story around: these men with calculators and ladders arriving, and their comments, do NOT mean I am poor. Being messy does not mean I am poor. Wearing pj’s doesn’t mean I’m poor. I am not poor. I don’t even know what “poor” is exactly, or what’s wrong with it.

I am abundant, wealthy, proud, generous, unafraid, willing, welcoming, as I am.

“The power for creating a better future is contained in the present moment: You create a good future by creating a good present…..Discontent, blaming, complaining, self-pity cannot serve as a foundation for a good future, no matter how much effort you make.” ~ Eckhart Tolle

I am nothing, not poor, not rich, not anything static or defined.

Ha ha!

Now that’s a bit lighter.

Who would you be without the belief that your home, your bank account, the number in it, your job or unemployment, means “you’re x”?

Exciting.

Love, Grace

January 14, 2015

Responsible For You–Peace With Money

It’s the fifth month of Year of Inquiry, the amazing group who gather to practice the work regularly for an entire year.

The fifth month is Money.

The Money teleclass happens to be underway at the very same time. I’m hearing lots of painful thoughts about money.

It’s so fascinating, and touching.

Several people recently shared with our YOI group “I thought this was going to be an easy month!”

Maybe they feel like they have enough, they aren’t concerned daily about money, there isn’t much bothering them about finances….

….but then, once they landed on a moment with money that felt stressful….

….uh oh.

They have more than me. She should save better. He shouldn’t have charged me so much. They conned me. They should pay better. I don’t make enough. He owes me. They are losers. It’s unfair.

Recently I was talking with a dear inquirer who’s taken teleclasses with me. He’s in a relationship and about to get married.

He shared about a moment with money, and his partner, when he had a stressful feeling.

He had expected to split a vacation expense 50/50 with his partner.

She wanted him to pay the whole bill.

Fortunately they had inquiry, and a way to speak out loud all they were thinking and feeling, and a deep appreciation for arriving at peace and clarity no matter what the final outcome.

From his own self-inquiry, this willing inquirer asked himself what was going on, that he should want this 50/50 split?

He also asked his partner what him paying meant for her, what she liked about it, what it could offer her?

He wanted to hear it.

In the end….

….he paid for the whole vacation, with joy and appreciation for what he was giving.

But he couldn’t have done that without walking through inquiry first.

And it doesn’t mean that was the “right” way for it to turn out. It could have been that the 50/50 contribution was the best and most balanced way as well. Everyone has a different situation, a different experience.

The story reminded me of my own work, in the same department about who’s picking up the bill, who’s forking over the cash.

It’s a little embarrassing to admit.

But here’s the thought, the way it came out of me:

I HATE paying 100% for a partner on a romantic date! Offensive! Unsupportive! Used! Wrong! Boring! Stupid! Jerk!

Heh heh.

What I came to see was how afraid I was of running out of money, that it meant I was completely unappreciated, and I could not practice receiving.

(I like receiving!)

So who would I be without the belief that I was unsupported, unappreciated, that some part of myself (I imagined a feminine part)wasn’t held, admired, or celebrated IF and WHEN I was the one paying?

Wow.

All my social conditioning broke down, without that belief.

Collapsed.

I noticed, I had plenty of money, enough to cover the fancy dinner. I noticed the appreciation from the other person for what was being given.

I noticed most of all, what I thought it meant to “pay” (losing, my resources depleting, my pot getting smaller).

What if paying wasn’t a bad thing? What if I was receiving, or I was getting paid, right in that same situation? Could that be as true?

There was money, apparently money from my purse to the restaurant.

I could notice there was no need to have a heart attack about the situation.

It doesn’t mean I’m trying to force myself to do something I don’t want to do.

In fact, I notice I absolutely adore my partner picking up the tab. That’s my favorite, still, in the restaurant scene.

But through my own inquiry, I became aware of how in this situation, I got to feel the thrill of being the one supporting, finally. After many years and moments of a partner, or my parents, or my grandparents, being the ones to open the wallet.

How is it a good thing for you to pay for whatever it is you’re doing, enjoying, eating at a restaurant, learning, receiving?

What if you didn’t complain about money moving from you towards that other thing?

What if paying was absolutely safe? And you’re free to choose?

“The reason you feel all this turmoil is that you’re stuck in the center of a lie….’He owes me’–is that true? Can you absolutely know that it’s true? How do you react when you think that thought? Ask yourself. And who would you be without the thought? You would be responsible for yourself.” ~ Byron Katie

Much love,

Grace

January 9, 2015

Guilty About Good Fortune?

Even though I’ve looked at my beliefs and stories about money many times, and investigated like my life depended on it (I thought it did)….

….I learned something new after recently kicking off another 8 week teleclass on money AND the Year of Inquiry group underway happens to be on month five, which is MONEY month.

As the beautiful new teleclass group assembled on our conference call and introductions were made, I shared part of my money story.

I heard myself say “I never had to worry about money for most of my life….until that terrible time about ten years ago….”

Later I suddenly realized I still had an upset thought about me NOT having to ever worry about money prior to ten years ago.

Guilt.

My entire childhood, my teen years, my early twenties, my thirties…..I got to have adventures, classes, workshops, therapy, incredible experiences all over the world traveling to many many countries, private horse-back riding, piano and archery lessons, lived overseas several times, grew up in a 5000 square foot house.

I feel a little bad about even mentioning it.

It’s a SECRET.

The very exciting part of the tale of money for me, and my focus for the past few years (and whenever I tell my story) is the dramatic loss of all income, the plummeting savings to zero then below zero, the investments smashed to smithereens, the big house gone, that one Christmas holiday with an inability to buy gifts, the sleepless nights.

But the earlier money story?

People might get jealous. They might not take the hard times in the story so seriously.

They might say something like “waaaah” and pretend they’re playing a violin.

I really shouldn’t complain….I had it good for a really long, long time. I never had to work super hard. I hung out it luxurious places many times. I felt abundant. I was.

But I realized…my guilt was a sharp poking stressful story, like a sticky black inky blemish.

“I shouldn’t complain, most of my life I had it very easy with money”.

It reeks of disturbance, of judgment about having plenty.

Now don’t get me wrong.

That hard time was seriously WHACKO HARD.

And I pulled from it the most amazing sense of personal empowerment and freedom I would never, ever have found without going through it.

I have gratitude, with an almost gasp at the learning and expansion, from having gone through that hard, weird passage of time where money vanished out of my life.

It was incredible.

But before I get sidetracked into talking all about that bad, bad, rough time and everything I learned (see how that’s so sneaky and easy to do?)….

….How about that guilty thing I mentioned?

Having money is lucky, privileged, unusual. People shouldn’t brag about it. I should be grateful for that experience in the past. I shouldn’t complain.

Ever.

Do you ever tell yourself you shouldn’t complain?

Is it true?

Well….YEAH.

People will no longer relate to me, if they knew the whole story.

Is that absolutely true?

No.

How do I react when I remember that fun, easy, carefree life with lots of money in it?

The minute it comes to mind, I smack myself and think I should be more grateful, should have realized what I had, understood my privilege….and then I feel guilty.

Who would I be without the belief that all my early years were full of money and that means I shouldn’t complain or have worries, ever?

I would be deeply aware, more than ever, at how money is one big story, with many little chapters and plots.

For some it’s got big dramatic flare. It’s here, then gone, up then down. For others, its steady, doesn’t change much. For others, its a huge difficult struggle.

Without the thought….

….I would be right here, right now, in this present moment noticing how I feel about money, and how that changes depending every second on what I’m looking at and how I’m looking at it.

“What’s a human being to do? We’ve done the best that we can, and there’s shame and guilt…it’s hard. And out of that comes frustration and self-hatred, and we strike out….But when you work with the mind, the world changes. That’s how it is. Mind is the projector, and the world is the projected. Work with mind and the world follows. It’s so simple.” ~ Byron Katie

Just keep questioning any thought that appears, guilty, private, ashamed, dumb. About money even.

Much love,

Grace

P.S. In case you missed it: Saturday afternoon 1:30-3:30 Pacific Time, Todd Smith and I will be doing a mental cleanse jam, facilitating The Work of Byron Katie together online.

Click Here to Work With Grace and Todd

January 5, 2015

I Need More! I Need Less! Dropping Food & Money Stories

There is one spot left in the 8 week teleclass on questioning all those powerful money beliefs, some of which are seriously stressful. We start tomorrow 5:15-6:45 Pacific time, skype or phone. To sign up click HERE.

The way I once reacted to money most of the time through a large part of my life was that I was above it, it was unnecessary, and to care about it was to sink into selfishness or worse.

Then I lost all my money.

Ooooh boy, I sure cared about it then! Dang!

If a trip around the world cost a dollar, I would have made it to the end of my driveway!

Suddenly, the sheer terror of not having any overwhelmed me. I saw the way that I pooh-poohed it most of my life maybe wasn’t exactly responsible or loving, for either me or other people who supported me.

The other day, I was noticing how money is a lot like food.

We are so sure that we know how much of it or how little of it would be good. Or bad.

Our story feels very real.

Something happens. You’re going along living your life and BOOM.

Someone says something concerning, or mean. Your feelings get hurt. You get scared. You get startled.

Through you mind floats images. You have feelings. You’re caught in a reaction. You see the future, and your imagination paints it very dark. Or you see the past (and maybe you have something that happened to you) and you remember it very dark.

For a moment right now, as you read this….

….consider who you would be without the belief that you need moremoney or food, or you need less money or food?

You don’t have to crush the incident that scared you, or what your mind is telling you.

You just don’t have to be so nervous, worried, upset or anxious about what happened and what could happen next.

Having good scary stories can make anyone as jumpy as a cockroach in a fryin’ pan!

So what would it be like to drop your stories?

“Wisdom comes with the ability to be still. Just look and just listen. No more is needed. Being still, looking, and listening activates the non-conceptual intelligence within you. Let stillness direct your words and actions.” ~ Eckhart Tolle

Without stories, without thinking going so crazy, you might get to see what non-conceptual intelligence actually feels like.

It’s very still.

It’s very silent.

And it’s very peaceful and kind and soft and loving.

Without the belief in more-or-less-is-required-for-me-to-be-happy you could even be astonished. And watch the sad or uncomfortable ending disappear into the unknown.

Much love, Grace

December 29, 2014

Make Money More Easily By Questioning Your Stories

It was Christmas time 2008.

I had been on over twenty job interviews, been one of the final candidates several times for positions, had a few clients here and there as a counselor.

My income was in the tank.

I had supportive gifts and loans, but on the actual holiday of Christmas and the several days before, I had scraped together everything I had to pay the December mortgage, heat and light bills, phone bill and garbage bill.

There was about $108 in my bank account and I needed to use some of it for groceries.

I look back and still impulsively think of it as the worst Christmas ever.

I went to Goodwill and bought clothes and some stocking stuffers for my kids. At least I had some presents.

The feeling on the inside was of terrible sickness. Like I was at the tail end of a sad story of losing everything.

I was already thinking about all the bills that would be due again soon, and I had no way to get my January mortgage payment together which would be due in a couple of weeks.

This was just….a total and complete mess.

I couldn’t sleep well.

I had never had this experience before, either. So it wasn’t like it was a repeat story I had already lived before.

This was like falling off a cliff, and like I had been falling, falling, falling for at least a year.

But one thing I did that was different in that month, was The Work in a very intensive, focused way. With me as the inquirer and a practiced facilitator supporting me through my process.

I had already done The Work on my own, and with friends and partners willing to trade sessions.

In fact, I had done it a ton.

With a kind of freaked out, terrified, quick urgency. Must. Understand. Now. Two seconds away from Panic Button.

But I had not paid for facilitation. Are you kidding? Did you see my bank account? That would have been a stupid expense, I had to save everything for heat, shelter and food…right?

Wrong. (Thank you amazing Martha Creek, dear friend and colleague and guide, for working with me).

I considered the absolute WORST THING that could happen. The imminent failure. The destruction and loss of all I knew. Having no home. Having even fewer options.

My mom said if I really, really needed it….I was welcome in her home for as long as it took to get back on my feet again.

I thought if I lost my home and really had nowhere to live that I could call MINE, it would be *HORRIBLE*!!!

My loving facilitator said “is that true?”

Oh. Well…..YES! Of course! Being homeless in my 40s? Awful.

Really?

No. Huh. No.

I considered what about moving in with my mother would be so terrible wrong, horrible, gut-wrenching and dreadful.

It took a little while….but then I began to laugh.

Woman sleeping at her mother’s house, with her two incredible children who she loved.

That was the whole story.

Without that belief, a lightness shifted inside that was stunning.

The next day I called my mom and we had a wonderful, intimate, honest conversation and laughed and laughed.

And then some really incredible other things happened….that I tell from time to time….but it would have been OK if they didn’t happen.

The story could have gone any way.

The way it went was a new job was invented for me part-time, and people started calling me for more and more appointments as a facilitator of The Work, and I offered workshops and meetings and classes and teleclasses….

….and I never moved in with my mother.

In fact, in lightening speed by comparison to how I saw it from the dark side, I paid off ALL my debts and loans and home equity line of credit and credit cards, and even quit that part time job.

Now, when I look back, I know it was not the worst Christmas ever.

Maybe it was the best.

I’m quite sure it is a spectacular story….and who doesn’t like a great story, with an exciting plot, awesome characters, enormous drama, and an inspiring outcome?

The real outcome being, of course….I don’t know.

Now that’s really the best story.

If you have fearful, irritated, unhappy money stories….then we’re beginning an 8 week teleclass drilling into the meaning of money, losing money, needing money, having money, suffering around money, hoping for money.

I offer an exercise via email every week, a question to answer to help you get clearer about what’s going on with you and money.

These are the same questions I noticed rose up for me around money and all it meant.

We’ll look at how we feel about ourselves and out capacity to find, earn or receive money, and then other peoples’ money or lack of money, and what we think money will really, really give us.

I love doing this class myself, every time.

The money story is reviewed, revealed in a new way, and everyone gets to hear the most marvelous new scenes, dramatic effects, or torrid affairs, from all of us doing The Work together and becoming aware of how believing thoughts about money brings on suffering…..

…..or freedom.

Join us, there’s still room. We’ll meet Tuesdays 5:15-6:45 pm starting January 6th. Write me if you have questions.

“I’ve never seen a work or money problem that didn’t turn out to be a thinking problem. I used to believe that I needed money to be happy. Even when I had a lot, I was often sick with the fear that something terrible would happen and I would lose it….After I found The Work inside myself – after it found me – I began to notice that I always had the perfect amount of money for me right now, even when I had little or none. Happiness is a clear mind. A clear and sane mind knows how to live, how to work, what e-mails to send, what phone calls to make, and what to do to create what it wants without fear….You don’t ever need more money than you have. When you understand this, you begin to realize that you already have all the security you wanted money to give you in the first place. It’s a lot easier to make money from this position.” ~ Byron Katie

Even if you’re not suffering around money, consider your beliefs about it. Find out what’s really true.

(Very wealthy people have taken this class).

Joy!

Much love, Grace