- Breitenbush is filling and it’s only $245 tuition until 10/31 (it goes up to $295 on 11/1). Thurs eve to Sunday lunch (+lodging and meals at low-season rate). 16 CEUs for mental health professionals or 12 for ITW candidates.
- Seattle East West Books November 3rd 2-5pm $40 The simple Work of Byron Katie
- Eating Peace Retreat Jan 9-14, 2019 Seattle. Deep immersion in The Work and eating, dependency, compulsions and body image issues.
I had the best time talking about The Work with my friend Todd Smith who is also a certified facilitator of The Work.Our conversation is the revival of the itunes Peace Talk podcast! You can also download it here.
One thing that struck me about talking with Todd was something he said that I’ve also experienced: The Work just never gets boring.
Which is somewhat SHOCKING, given some part of me that’s ALWAYS wanting to be entertained.
But what if you’ve thought The Work HAS gotten boring?
What if you’ve had the thought “this isn’t working for me!!”
Well, surprise….I’ve had those thoughts too.
Not that long ago, I shared a Grace Note about money woes and worries, and someone wrote back to me that she’s noticed I’ve written about the same thing before.
In other words, she was wondering about the experience of change or absence of it. Because here I was again looping back to the same old thoughts about money like “I need more” and “there won’t be enough” and “I have to work hard to get it” and “I’ll lose it.” Blah blah blah, right?
I loved this reflection and question from the reader.
Because it reminded me how change has occurred in my life, sometimes rather suddenly, but way, way, way more often slowly, incrementally, step-by-step, one day at a time. Todd and I were noticing this orientation to practicing The Work during our podcast conversation, as we shared our experiences doing inquiry.
The mild, tiny adjustments that have occurred in the process of self-inquiry are the ones that for me, seem to stick.
There is a term I learned from a friend once who received her master’s degree in food science. She told me about the word “titrate”.
When someone is titrating one thing into another, what this means is they’re adding one substance or chemical to another larger substance one tiny drop at a time so that it mixes in and is imperceptible, until a certain point when it one more drop tips to “perceptible” and measurable and the whole thing mixed together is neutralized.
When The Work “works” for me, it feels like the great issues of the human condition appear and reappear in my daily life over and over, and they are questioned one moment at a time, one drop at a time.
And as I look back at the road taken, I chuckle at the adventure and the stories I traveled through. They no longer appear to be horror stories, or traumatic stories, or dangerous stories. (And if they do appear frightening or disappointing, I can question them, of course).
What are the great issues and stories I’ve become most aware of over time, that seem to have repeated themselves in different formats and themes?
Here they are:
1) Thinking “my” survival and security are threatened. Physical pain or danger or injury, sickness, death, money.
2) Thinking my needs are not being met in relationship to others. I don’t have enough love, kindness, sharing, or there’s loss of attention, being cut off or dismissed, someone’s angry. (See #1).
3) Thinking other peoples’ needs aren’t being met. Worry about their pain, money, sickness, injury, lack of safety, death. Which reminds me of my own and of course I notice I’d be happier if they were happier. (Uh, See #1 again).
4) Thinking pleasure or joy or love or rest isn’t possible in certain situations. Noise, rage, natural “disasters”, violence, surprise. I’m here temporarily and there are no guarantees about survival. (Hmmm, See #1).
5) Thinking there’s something wrong with me and if I fix it I’ll feel better. Shame, guilt, self-criticism, fear, addiction. (Come to think of it, my own mind is an enemy: See #1).
It seems like as I look at everything I object to….
….it’s about “my” survival and “my” happiness and “my” security.
Not that there’s anything wrong with this “my” thing going on. LOL.
It’s quite natural after all, for me to be taking care of me and watching out for me and learning about me and navigating a course for me and being with me.
But who would we be without the beliefs that all point to something-is-threatening……me?
What is this “me” that is so threatened anyway?
Woah.
Maybe if we got there all at once with our stories of stress and suffering, the beautiful slow process of gentle titration wouldn’t happen the way it does, and we’d have a cracked open mind or go completely bonkers (not that there’s anything wrong with that).
Consider the outliers who have sudden “awakenings” like Byron Katie or Eckhart Tolle. They didn’t have a very good time to the point leading up to their breakdowns. It was so severe, they almost committed suicide. And maybe not so easy after they cracked open, either.
Who would we be without the belief “it needs to change faster” in my mind or “my approach to inquiry needs to be more dramatic” or “The Work needs to produce a clear, obvious upgrade” or “I shouldn’t need to repeatedly question the very same story”?
Are you sure it’s the exact same story? Are you sure you’re not progressing? Are you sure something’s not working, or needs to go faster?
What I notice is something happening that’s like a slow, slow dawning. Not too fast. Not too slow. Just right for this one.
Repeating itself. Sun rising, once again. Sun setting, once again. Coming and going.
Noticing how much is repeated, reborn, dying again.
The Way of It.
“How do I know when it’s time to do The Work? I don’t even have to know what to do The Work on–it appears. The story comes, and if it’s not totally comfortable, undo it–or not.” ~ Byron Katie
If you do The Work on the very same thing every single day, can you absolutely know it’s true that nothing is changing?
No.
Are you sure something needs to change?
No.
Isn’t that exciting!?
“In the pursuit of knowledge, every day something is added. In the practice of the Tao, every day something is dropped. Less and less do you need to force things, until finally you arrive at non-action. When nothing is done, nothing is left undone. True mastery can be gained by letting things go their own way. It can’t be gained by interfering.” ~ Tao Te Ching #48
Much love,
Grace
P.S. Join me live on facebook on Mondays at 2 pm Pacific Time.
