One of the wonders of doing The Work so often with others in my life is how moving it is that people are willing to share their innermost thoughts.
And NOT the “good”, kind, gentle, mature thoughts.
The thoughts where we go in The Work are the painful, embarrassing, shameful, aggressive, completely irrational or immature thoughts running through our heads.
Thoughts like these:
- they hate me
- I can’t succeed
- she loves someone else more than me
- I made a mistake
- I’m a terrible mom/friend/partner/daughter
- he took my stuff
- they don’t listen to me
- he should do what I say
- I need to know what to do
It seems we all have these kinds of thoughts.
It’s so touching when people are willing, vulnerable, ready to speak all the thoughts they feel so terrible about thinking OUT LOUD. Or to write them all down on paper.
Last night we began an 8 week adventure into Parenting, and doing The Work on our thoughts about our kids. (We’ll be doing The Work on our own parents too, during this course, as well as many kinds of common moments of angst with our children–no matter how old they are)!
As I hung up the line knowing 14 people are in this course, all who are so very deeply interested in examining their beliefs about child-raising….
….I had a familiar moment of deep, deep gratitude.
I get to hang out with people who are entirely aware that their beliefs–unless they’re questioned–drive their words, feelings, actions, behaviors, facial expressions, inner commentary.
And they know something is occasionally (or often) “off” with their thinking. Because they feel BAD.
Funny how just the very idea of NOT being alone in our stressful thinking is so….
….encouraging.
This acceptance alone is the nectar we often need to keep moving in The Work.
“She is a friend of mind. She gather me, man. The pieces I am, she gather them and give them back to me in all the right order. It’s good, you know, when you got a woman who is a friend of your mind.” ~ Toni Morrison
Who would we be without the painful story that we’re uniquely wrong, we made a mistake, we’re unlovable, we have something missing that others don’t, or our thoughts are extra sick, mean, terrible?
We’d be gathered together, in this powerful work called self-inquiry, noticing what’s really true and what isn’t.
With a little help from some friends—other humans, who also “think”.
Which is all the more why I’m so absolutely thrilled to gather in six days for the annual Spring Retreat Seattle May 16-20 (we start Weds evening) and then again for retreat at Breitenbush from June 13-17 (with the lovely and experienced Todd Smith).
Is it time for Spring Mental Cleaning?
Come join the shared honesty, camaraderie, fascination, curiosity, clarity, awareness, truth-telling, laughter, inspiration.
Room for 1 more at the Seattle retreat in 6 days–a room at the retreat house has opened up, so if you want to, you can reserve it and stay onsite.
Room for 5 more at Breitenbush in June.
Most of all, find someone who can hear you, and do The Work with them. Trade back and forth with your facilitation. There’s nothing like having a person who can listen openly to your mind.
It gives such a deep practice of acceptance, it’s you who listens. You then become your own best friend. A friend to your own thinking.
- they love me
- I can succeed
- I love someone else more than me
- I made a correction
- I’m a wonderful mom/friend/partner/daughter
- he didn’t take my stuff, and it isn’t “mine”
- they do listen to me
- he shouldn’t do what I say
- I don’t need to know what to do
“Together we can do so much.” ~ Helen Keller
Much love,
Grace
P.S. I just returned from facilitating–for the first time–a Strategic Planning Retreat for a small tech company. I really can’t wait to tell you all about it. Can you imagine Strategic Planning in business PLUS doing sincere inquiry around stressful status of the business? Wow. More soon.