Tag: groups

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Who would’ve thought it? Becoming best friends with your mind.

One of the wonders of doing The Work so often with others in my life is how moving it is that people are willing to share their innermost thoughts.

And NOT the “good”, kind, gentle, mature thoughts.

The thoughts where we go in The Work are the painful, embarrassing, shameful, aggressive, completely irrational or immature thoughts running through our heads.

Thoughts like these:

  • they hate me
  • I can’t succeed
  • she loves someone else more than me
  • I made a mistake
  • I’m a terrible mom/friend/partner/daughter
  • he took my stuff
  • they don’t listen to me
  • he should do what I say
  • I need to know what to do

It seems we all have these kinds of thoughts.

It’s so touching when people are willing, vulnerable, ready to speak all the thoughts they feel so terrible about thinking OUT LOUD. Or to write them all down on paper.

Last night we began an 8 week adventure into Parenting, and doing The Work on our thoughts about our kids. (We’ll be doing The Work on our own parents too, during this course, as well as many kinds of common moments of angst with our children–no matter how old they are)!

As I hung up the line knowing 14 people are in this course, all who are so very deeply interested in examining their beliefs about child-raising….

….I had a familiar moment of deep, deep gratitude.

I get to hang out with people who are entirely aware that their beliefs–unless they’re questioned–drive their words, feelings, actions, behaviors, facial expressions, inner commentary.

And they know something is occasionally (or often) “off” with their thinking. Because they feel BAD.

Funny how just the very idea of NOT being alone in our stressful thinking is so….

….encouraging.

This acceptance alone is the nectar we often need to keep moving in The Work.

“She is a friend of mind. She gather me, man. The pieces I am, she gather them and give them back to me in all the right order. It’s good, you know, when you got a woman who is a friend of your mind.” ~ Toni Morrison

Who would we be without the painful story that we’re uniquely wrong, we made a mistake, we’re unlovable, we have something missing that others don’t, or our thoughts are extra sick, mean, terrible?

We’d be gathered together, in this powerful work called self-inquiry, noticing what’s really true and what isn’t.

With a little help from some friends—other humans, who also “think”.

Which is all the more why I’m so absolutely thrilled to gather in six days for the annual Spring Retreat Seattle May 16-20 (we start Weds evening) and then again for retreat at Breitenbush from June 13-17 (with the lovely and experienced Todd Smith).

Is it time for Spring Mental Cleaning?

Come join the shared honesty, camaraderie, fascination, curiosity, clarity, awareness, truth-telling, laughter, inspiration.

Room for 1 more at the Seattle retreat in 6 days–a room at the retreat house has opened up, so if you want to, you can reserve it and stay onsite.

Room for 5 more at Breitenbush in June.

Most of all, find someone who can hear you, and do The Work with them. Trade back and forth with your facilitation. There’s nothing like having a person who can listen openly to your mind.

It gives such a deep practice of acceptance, it’s you who listens. You then become your own best friend. A friend to your own thinking.

  • they love me
  • I can succeed
  • I love someone else more than me
  • I made a correction
  • I’m a wonderful mom/friend/partner/daughter
  • he didn’t take my stuff, and it isn’t “mine”
  • they do listen to me
  • he shouldn’t do what I say
  • I don’t need to know what to do
What could be better than not thinking painful thoughts….are true?

“Together we can do so much.” ~ Helen Keller

Much love,

Grace

P.S. I just returned from facilitating–for the first time–a Strategic Planning Retreat for a small tech company. I really can’t wait to tell you all about it. Can you imagine Strategic Planning in business PLUS doing sincere inquiry around stressful status of the business? Wow. More soon.

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Entering A Higher Form Of Intelligence–Together

Only two weeks from today on 3/8: jam session in The Work 1:30-5:30 pm, Seattle. Start from wherever you are. You’ll take a look at something that seems to not be working well, someone you’ve been troubled by, an ongoing problem.

I love that people show up, and go for it.

At least that’s what I love about questioning my thoughts, my feelings, situations that bother me.

In that moment that I take a seat, sit with other inquirers, pull out a pen and paper….I’m going for it.

Being able to be totally and completely honest, with all the anxious, mean, vicious, nasty, terrified, distressed thoughts….even from the distant past….and look at them head on like they are worthy of being addressed is a remarkable feeling.

These are the feelings I used to avoid.

These are the thoughts I used to shove under the rug, or try to distract myself from.

I should just be happy and doing something productive and not thinking negative thoughts and being a good citizen!!

My old mantra when I felt anger, sadness, or fear was “Quick! Look over there instead! Danger Danger! Do Something Else!”

I used binge-eating, running, movies, alcohol, and to-do lists to keep very, very busy.

Last night, I noticed a funny little evening thought.

Outside was a full moon, quiet night air. A friend had come over and she, my husband and I had tea. We ate some chocolate hearts with fortune messages inside. We all wrote letters together.

After hugs and goodbyes, and putting our letters in envelopes, with stamps, she left, and I thought about several other tasks I needed to accomplish for upcoming events.

I could work on them for an hour or so, before going to bed.

But then…seconds later….the thought “let’s watch the next episode of Dexter”.

(Yes, my second television show series in over a decade. It started with getting Six Feet Under from the library two years ago).

Two episodes later it’s almost midnight.

Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

But I’m reminded how the urge to escape and think about nothing that has anything to do with ME; my interests, worries, success, fears, goals, pain, suffering, tasks, thinking, uncomfortable feelings….

….is incredibly appealing.

ESCAPE!!

And so, something moved to watch the story of what happens next in that story, and now on Saturday morning there’s sitting and being here again, with less drama.

I love that a client will be on his way soon for a session this afternoon, and tomorrow there will be two more sessions, and Monday quite a few sessions with incredible people….spending time in their presence, looking at the mind, staying with it.

I love that the mini retreat is coming in two weeks, because that is what brings me to presence. I plan to sit and do inquiry.

Willing to sit, be here right now. With this busy mind. With this human body.

If you’re drawn, if it would feel like going for it, if it is appealing, interesting, exciting, maybe a little scary, yet you are willing to look…perhaps you’ve exhausted all other choices….

….join me in inquiry.

Whether a teleclass, Year of Inquiry, a mini retreat coming soon, the Horrible Food Wonderful Food weekend in April in Seattle, I am so touched by what we do together.

Simple as it sounds, placing aside the intention to connect with others and do inquiry is very powerful.

All the big coaching success blah-blah books have this in their directives: SCHEDULE IT.

But they are ON to something.

Go to the retreat. Sign up. Say yes. Join others. Allow yourself to be guided. Show up at the meeting. Sit in the chair. Close your eyes. Start writing.

You may find that as you put your boat in the river of looking, as you enter the flow of inquiry….

….you begin to be directed by an order of intelligence that is far beyond the mind, the personal, the individual.

You’re saying “yes” and you enter the silence. And awe.

And it’s more than just OK, it’s beyond belief.

Give yourself the opportunity to get there. You will anyway, there’s no emergency or rush….

…but why not now?

“In ego-land it’s helpful to have an ego that can discriminate between right and wrong, but at a certain point, that’s not what you are operating by. You are operating by the flow of the Tao, which is a higher order of intelligence. You don’t need to intellectually discriminate anymore because the Tao discriminates without discriminating; it knows without knowing; it moves without moving. There is no sense of being enlightened or unenlightened.” ~ Adyashanti

Sign up for Mini Retreat Jam Session by hitting reply to this email and letting me know you’re coming, or sign up for the next teleclass.

Sign up for Year of Inquiry the same way, or clicking for more information HERE.

Appreciations for Group Gathering in The Work:
“Dear Grace, I so appreciate your teleclass savvy. in my book, you are a model for teleclass giving. This body so appreciates the combined effect of the food teleclass and the work. Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you.”

“I had no idea I thought I needed money to feel safe and
secure and happy and special and needed and wanted and in control….I appreciate the stress-free but supportive environment you create that allows whatever is up to be welcomed into inquiry.”

“Thank you so much for our group and Grace for such amazing insights and leadership. It’s been a pleasure to let go of so many heavy thought-weights, together.”

Love, Grace