Recently I found out someone who took a course with me was about to teach a course of his own using the same exercises and topic. He set the fee at the same exact rate, and the course was the same exact amount of weeks.
Honestly, I have no idea what to think about this kind of thing.
It’s a complete honor to have someone feel the exercises I’m offering are so good they want to use them.
The Work is also free. Everything of true value is accessible to anyone and everyone. No course is required for freedom. No course is required for human peace.
What is my little thought, the thing that feels weird about it, where I thought I needed to say something.….but what?
I knew what to do first.
Write down my brainstorm of thoughts, especially the stressful ones.
I worked my ass off, through suffering, and through recovery, to discover these exercises–he should think up his own work instead of copying mine.
He’s doing better than me, he’s delivering my work to many people, he’s more successful, he’s winning
I have personal transformation, and so much to offer, yet other people do it more extensively and with more confidence
He shouldn’t have signed up for my course just to get all the curriculum (he was deceptive)
I need him, and the world, to honor and respect and include me instead of leaving me out
He is sneaky, stealing from me, he used me
I’m not good enough, I’m not charismatic enough, I’ve got some kind of problem reaching others (he doesn’t)
I felt sooooo much scarcity, so much competition.
And what’s more is, I loved this guy and he was such a great participant in the program. (But he’s a liar!)
Whew.
Have you ever felt competition with someone else in your life, or jealousy, less-than, disappointment, or the sense of not being acknowledged, left out, withheld from, or stepped over?
OK, let’s do The Work.
Find that situation in your life where you felt this with someone.
Is it true, in that situation with that person, that you’re being copied and at the same time Not Acknowledged? Is it true that this other person’s success means you fail?
This happens a lot when someone feels rejected because of being “left” in their relationship for someone else, and then they see their former partner with a new lover.
They’re wrong. You’re missing out. You lose. It’s their fault, or even if you know it isn’t, you hate them anyway.
There they are, enjoying themselves together, and you’ve got no one, you’re not doing it right. You weren’t acknowledged, or included. You weren’t appreciated.
Is it true?
Can you be absolutely sure it’s true, really?
No.
How do you react when you believe it’s true that you’re missing out, or someone deceived you?
Oh man.
The way I react is total beeline focus on that person and wondering why they get the goods, and not me. Over and over again every day thinking this! Sad, upset, feeling bad about myself or sorry for myself. Furious at that person and how great they’re doing. Hoping that person does horribly, has a bad experience, and doesn’t succeed as much as they hoped (hoping they’ll also feel pain).
Yikes.
It’s embarrassing on top of it to even admit the immaturity in the thinking, the urge to withdraw, to never speak up, to shrink.
But who would you be without your thoughts about that other person, and about yourself?
Who would you actually be right now without the belief someone’s stealing from you, or you aren’t appreciated? Without the thought you’re missing out, and they’re succeeding? (And this does NOT mean you won’t say something to the person if it’s wise, mature and loving)?
Who would you actually be, right now?
Bam. Instantly I’m back inside my own body, in my own surroundings, full of curiosity and wonder.
I am supposed to be here, to be me doing the courses I do which seem to have a never-ending creativity to them. I am supposed to be this–because I am.
Without my troubled thoughts of scarcity and competition, I’d be open, curious, excited, noticing what my passions are.
I’d also remember how much I’ve gleaned from others I’ve studied–in fact, maybe everything I ever create a curriculum around is a collection of information from others. Nothing’s actually original.
Turning it all around:
I am appreciated, by me for the work I love to do, and by this man who loved my curriculum. He shouldn’t think up his own work, he should copy mine (it’s that good)! I’m doing just fine, sharing, working with people, enjoying this thing I call “work” immensely.
Oh lordy.
Who would you be without your fear of losing, of comparison, or of having others steal your material?
Happy.
If you’d like to join a small group for six Wednesday mornings from 9-10:30 am, we’ll be taking a sweet dive into some of these strange stressful concepts that arise within when it comes to others.
We start tomorrow!
Module One: Relationship Happiness, What Do You Believe? Find Out by Identifying Clearly What You Think
Module Two: What Should Be True (That Isn’t) and Using Your Imagination to Turn Your Beliefs Around
Module Three: Fear, Loss, and Dependency–Questioning the Pain of Avoiding the Future, or Resenting the Past
Read about the course HERE and register, too (only $297). I’d love you to join me.
