On a third day anywhere new, most people begin to feel more at home.
The basics are handled.
If I’m staying someplace for 3 days, by then I know where the bathrooms are, the closest places to get food or water, the quiet areas, where I can run or walk or exercise, what the neighborhood is like where I’m staying.
Being at the Cleanse, I’ve also found that my own mind after three days listening to The Work relaxes, opens, becomes comfortable with unraveling itself.
Willing to slow down, to stop.
To love what is.
Yesterday we heard from a woman whose daughter was murdered, a man who believed his wife kicks him when he’s down, and an incredible restaurant owner who has felt agony because of factory farms for meat, GMOs and corporations.
Another woman also investigated the belief that her son hates school, and a daughter did The Work on her needy elderly mother.
In the middle of all this powerful inquiry….
….Katie gave us all an exercise.
Do a positive worksheet, rather than the customary “negative” worksheet where you capture negative and stressful thoughts about a situation on paper.
Wow, how fascinating!
I have found, over the years, that ultimately what self-inquiry offers is the freedom to question all thought. Even thoughts that seem positive.
Anything the mind perceives can be questioned. It’s a more fluid, wild, magical world this way.
But I had never done Katie’s exercise.
She guided everyone through:
Remember a moment in time when you felt love for someone.
You said “I love you”.
Picture that moment vividly.
I pictured a sweet moment with my daughter. I saw images flashing through of my husband, my son, my mom, my sisters, my friends.
I tell a lot of people I love them. I feel my heart surge and I am deeply touched. I also hear “I love you” from a lot of people, too.
I felt no stress with thinking of this kind of moment, at least that’s what I thought initially.
But I love that Katie made the suggestion. She wanted us to consider the freedom of not having to know what’s going on, or to label something “love”.
The idea of love certainly does seem to cause a lot of turmoil in peoples’ lives. I felt very willing to go along with the exercise.
So….let’s take a closer look right now.
Is it true that you loved that person?
Simply notice. If you said “yes” can you absolutely know it’s true?
Are you sure you loved that person?
It’s totally OK to still say “yes”.
I found as I sat slowly with the inquiry…..I’m not even sure. Do I even know what love is? How do I know to say it? Why do I say it to some people, and not others? What is it I have to know about someone, or feel about them, in order to say it?
How do you react when you believe “I love you!”
People called out from the audience how they reacted. They said what they pictured, what they hoped for, what they expected, what they dreamed of when they said “I love you”.
Maybe you want to hear “I love you” back. Maybe you’re expressing your pleasure and approval of that person. Maybe you’re hoping this moment will last forever. Maybe you want that person to know they are loved, so they feel good (and you feel good).
Amazing to consider what love actually means.
Huh.
Imagine not knowing exactly what “love” is?
I suddenly became aware of love being a deep warmth, an energy, something present all the time, with everyone, and everything….and inexplicable. Not definable. Mysterious. Not attached to specific people.
Woah.
Wow.
So who would you be without the belief “I love you” in that situation?
People called out from the audience again.
Free. Expansive. Full of joy. Not obligated. No expectations. Satisfied. Grounded.
At peace.
Turning the thought around: I love myself. I do not love you. I love everyone. I love. I.
For some reason, this was the way my turnarounds unfolded.
I considered them all, wondering about them, saying them out loud. Finding examples of them. Feeling how they could be just as true, or truer, in this world of duality.
It’s been very true that I don’t love you when you say something mean or frightening, or act crazy or troubling. I don’t love you when you leave me. I don’t love you when you criticize me. I don’t love you when I feel pain in our relationship.
Was it really love, then?
It had conditions….is that love?
“Personalities don’t love-they want something.” ~ Byron Katie
Katie’s said it before, but she said it again yesterday during the exercise.
Turning it around again: I love myself, in that situation when I say I love you to someone.
I’m always supporting (or trying to) what’s best for me, and my relationship to the universe, and this is all I can do really.
Everywhere I go, I’m there. I’m always there!
I am my best companion–there’s nothing I can actually do about it!
Another turnaround: I love everyone. I love life. I love humanity. I love this incredible world, this astonishing journey.
And then….there is no “you” and no “me” and no specific thing called “love” that is special in only that moment with me being the one doing it and saying it’s true.
Love is.
Everywhere. Any time.
With everyone.
And when it’s not….The Work.
“Bring the truth home to yourself and begin to set yourself free. It’s no longer necessary to wait for people or situations to change in order to experience peace and harmony. The Work is the direct way to orchestrate your own happiness.” ~ Byron Katie