Everyone knows the tale of the tortoise and the hare.
The hare is insane fast, like 800 times faster than the ridiculously slow tortoise.
This is not even a real race, says the hare. That guy is soooo slow he’s a retard! I am so fast, I can stop and party, visit other countries, and go way off course and still WIN.
Right?
And we all know the end of the story.
Sometimes, the self-centered mind–the energy of “thinking” about me–can be like that hare.
This past week the Year of Inquiry (YOI) groups met together again. It was the first week of the new month.
When it’s the first week of the month, we begin a brand new topic in YOI (Month 6 is Love Relationships)….
….I walk everyone through finding a specific situation to bring to inquiry, and to write out a Judge Your Neighbor worksheet very slowly, like a guided meditation.
I love filling out a Judge Your Neighbor worksheet like this, during the call.
It feels so gentle, thorough, and kind. We look carefully, really giving each other quiet space–and the power of the group energy doing it together.
It’s weird, though, how HARD it can be to fill out a JYN all by yourself, in the middle of your busy life.
Even though you’re actually mulling over an incident, or a troubling moment with someone, or an exchange that bothered you….
….and even though you know there’s this thing called The Work where you can step into a deep inquiry and contemplate WHY something’s bugging you….
….you ignore it, or let it float there above your head calling for attention, or perhaps you think of it in the middle of the night and wake up, now that you slowed down for five minutes.
Well, at least that’s what it’s like for me sometimes STILL.
I don’t even want to talk about what it was like for me when I first started doing The Work.
I wanted the fast version all the time.
Can’t I just turn concepts around in my head while driving my car?
Have you noticed how well that works?
Sometimes it might offer something really curious and interesting, but not exactly life-altering realization.
Unfortunately, no.
The only way I’ve found deep inner awareness through doing The Work is to begin with writing out that JYN.
Judge the HELL out of that person.
It’s kind of refreshing actually.
You get to let your little brat, or your scared controller, or your mousy victim out and let that voice in you speak for once and be taken somewhat seriously.
Why is that voice there? What does it really want? What’s it afraid of? What does it think should or shouldn’t be happening? What does it need in order to be happy?
Over time, the more I look directly, the more compassion and kindness I have towards myself.
So if you have a repetitive, troubling, nagging, irritating experience with someone in your life, and you’ve “tried” doing The Work….here’s what you could do:
Sit down quietly and write for thirty minutes or more, answering every question in the Judge Your Neighbor worksheet.
Then pick the ones that seem to have the most charge, or to sum it up the very best, or hit the nail on the head.
Re-write the JYN with only those fewer concepts on it, so it’s more manageable.
The start at the top.
Is it true?
Keep going. You may find freedom on the other side of The Work.
And what could be better than a free, open, wild, peaceful mind?
“First you’ll put your thoughts on paper…then one-by-one put each statement on the Judge Your Neighbor worksheet up against the four questions, and then turn around the statement you’re working on. Throughout this process, explore being open to possibilities beyond what you think you know. There’s nothing more exciting than discovering the don’t-know mind. It’s like diving. Keep asking the questions and wait.” ~ Byron Katie
Simple, but not always easy.
If you’ve been frustrated with your self-inquiry, or notice something repeating itself incessantly….
….slooooooowwwwwww down.
(Did you hear my voice getting very low like a digital recording turning into a crazy slow sound? Well, do that with your thinking).
Tortoise wins the race.
Every time.
Love, Grace